The First Time: We Met
by Cylann
Summary: What happens when Tommy and Jude have a chance encounter before she wins the contest. This story follows the episodes in season one with a slight twist and will change as it goes along.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Sadie Harrison walked into the living room to see her younger sister Jude on her guitar, again. She rolled her eyes and felt a twinge of jealousy. This was the one thing Jude could do well and she could not. In fact Jude had somehow made it into the finals for the Instant Star competition that was actually on T.V.! Tomorrow night the winner would be decided. Jude had already taken too much of the attention from Sadie, from their parents, to the kids at school who actually noticed her slightly different sister. She could not imagine how much worse it would be if Jude actually won the recording contract. Life would be unbearable, because Sadie always had to be the best at everything. Jude continued to sing the song she had written, and would be using, strumming her guitar and then stopping to start again, trying to perfect it. Sadie wondered if there was any way to distract Jude from her goal and a subconscious plan started to form. Sadie remembered the first time she had gotten plastered and how awful she had felt the next day.

"You know you've already nailed it." Sadie spoke causing Jude to look up sharply. She had been lost in her own world of music and had not even noticed her sister's presence. Jude frowned to herself. Sadie rarely spoke to her, in fact at school she usually chose to ignore her existence. Jude's freshman year Sadie had claimed she was a distant cousin to her snobby Barbie friends. In fact since Jude had entered this competition Sadie had been even bitchier if that was possible. "You're just going to mess up if you keep stressing like this you know?" Sadie continued.

"I can't help it."

"Come out with me tonight. The girls and I are going out and then sleeping over Diana's." Jude was shocked. She couldn't understand why Sadie was suddenly being so nice. "It'll take your mind off of the contest and you have all day tomorrow to practice." Jude found herself agreeing, even though she didn't even really like her sister's friends.

.

Tommy Quincy shrugged on his jacket and grabbed his house keys before heading out the door for the evening. He checked his purposefully messy gelled hair in the hallway mirror once more before opening the door to leave. He had just gotten back yesterday from an extended vacation in L.A. where he would still be if not for the call he had received. He was of two minds as to whether or not he was happy to be back. His old friend Georgia Bevans owned a small record company and had run a singing contest to find a new artist and to garner more publicity. She had called in a favor a few months back and asked him to produce the new 'Instant Star'. With the finale about to take place she had told him it was time to return to Toronto to start work. That was how he found himself back in Toronto on a Friday night, searching for a girl to amuse himself with before he got down to business on Monday. He had no illusions that he would find producing the winner of some television singing contest to be a pleasurable experience.

Jude and Sadie stood in front of Balthazar's and Jude looked over at her sister in shock.

"Sadie this is a bar!" Sadie gave her a 'no duh' look and started for the front door. "They're not going to let me in here?!"

"Relax, Zoë's cousin is the bartender. Where do you think we go every weekend?" Jude felt slightly uncomfortable as Sadie insisted she take off her jacket. Underneath she was wearing a very small black silk camisole, courtesy of Sadie, and her one good pair of non-holey skin tight jeans, that her good friend Kat had once insisted she buy. On her feet were high heeled leather boots that brought attention to her slender legs. Sadie had done her makeup and her hair, so a few strategic curls hung down by her cheeks, but the rest was gathered in a kind of ponytail, but fancier, with her natural curls tumbling down her back. Jude felt ridiculous, but Sadie said it looked great and made her look older.

They went inside and straight to the bar where Zoe's cousin Ray greeted Sadie by name. He placed two drinks in front of the girls and left them alone to deal with his other customers. Jude sipped at the funny green drink and was pleasantly surprised. It didn't taste alcoholic, so she drank some more liking the sweet and sour melon taste. Sadie's friends beckoned them over to their table, where a couple of men were already hitting on them.

Tommy stood next to the red head by the bar, and signaled the bartender. He ordered and looked over at her. She seemed to be contemplating her bright green drink with a preoccupied expression on her face.

"Hey..." He said, the women he had left at one of the tables completely forgotten.

"Hey..." She said looking up in surprise. She had been basically ignored all night as the guys flocked around Sadie and Sadie's friends. She didn't know why her sister had insisted she come.

"Can I get you another...?" She looked at her almost empty drink and nodded, giving him a small smile. She had lost count of how many she had already had, but oh well...He was caught for a moment in her big blue eyes. She looked young, but he figured she must be old enough if she was drinking here. "I'm Tommy..."

"Jude..." He waited for the flicker of recognition, but was relieved when none came.

"Jude huh... I..." As he started to comment on her name she stopped him

"Yes Jude like as in the Beatles..."

"Actually I was going to say I like the name..." He looked at her with amusement and she blushed. "It was really all McCartney though wasn't it?"

"Most people don't make that distinction." He nodded and gave her a sexy grin that made her breath catch.

"I'm not most people...I know a little bit about music..." He said making the understatement of the year.

They started talking about music, mainly rock and Jude tried to stump him with trivia, but he did pretty well. Tommy found himself actually listening to her speak, instead of simply picturing her with her clothes off.

"So I take it you're not a big boy band fan." She gave a laugh that he liked because it was real and not forced like with some of the women he hung out with.

"Not on your life." No wonder she hadn't recognized him. He was glad she hadn't because he had the feeling that his past would not win any points in her book.

"Do you want to get out of here?" She bit her lower lip and he found the action distracting. She finally nodded as she looked over at her sister and her group of friends. They had not noticed her even talking with Tommy. He held out his hand and she took it, the contact surprised both of them as they looked into each others eyes. Her fingers were a little rough surprising him. He knew exactly where calluses like hers came from and it intrigued him that much more. A jolt of electricity traveled through Jude's fingers from his skin. She got up a little unsteadily and said goodbye to Ray before they started out of the bar. The bartender didn't think much of it figuring she was 18 like all of his cousin's other friends. Sadie didn't even notice her baby sister leaving with a strange man.

.

Tommy had not brought a car knowing he would be drinking tonight. They sat in the taxi, thigh pressed to thigh and his hand tangled in her soft hair as he pulled her in for a kiss. It was her first kiss, not that she would ever tell him. Her mouth opened at his insistent tongue and he took advantage, tasting the sweet concoction she had been drinking. The only time Jude had ever stopped thinking like this was when she was lost in her music. This was different though, because she had never felt the sensations he was forcing out of her. She moaned into his mouth and the tax driver looked into his rear view mirror with interest.


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING: ADULT CONTENT AHEAD** _If smut bothers you, although this story has a plot there is a bit of smut in it. This will be the only warning so please do not read if it offends you. Everyone else enjoy!_

**Chapter Two**

Jude never quite remembered how they had wound up in his apartment that night. There had been a lot of kissing and touching and rubbing, from the taxi to the foyer of his building, to the elevator to the hallway and finally into his home. It would always remain a little fuzzy in her mind and she would never be sure if that was because of all the alcohol she had consumed or just the effect he had on her senses.

He backed her into his bedroom his lips and hands never leaving her body. His hands cupped her ass, pulling her flush against his hard body. She felt his fingers at the hem of her camisole and lifted her arms as he pulled it off of her to reveal a black lace bra. His mouth hovered hot at the swell of one breast, causing her nipple to tighten almost painfully in response and he hadn't even touched her yet. His tongue traced along the edge of the lace causing a small gasp to escape from her lips. Then his mouth found hers again, his tongue slipping in as she parted her lips for much needed breath.

As he reached for the clasp of her bra, her eyes met his between their heated kisses.

"I've never done this before..." She whispered. He halted his hands on her for just the briefest second as he tried to make sense of her words. She couldn't possibly mean...There were no innocents in the world he existed in. She must mean she had never gone home with a stranger before. With what little conscience he had, salved, he found her lips again. His fingers finished the job on the flimsy lacy material and he slipped it off her shoulders, revealing small, but perfectly shaped breasts. His thumbs brushed the tips gently, turning them into tiny hard peaks as her lips parted and their eyes met. She had the most expressive eyes he had ever seen, big, blue and guileless, the desire and uncertainty written right into them. This caused him to pause again, as niggling doubt crept in once more. She pressed herself closer so his hands automatically wrapped around the soft mounds and his thoughts were lost, in the charged kiss she gave him.

Her hands found their way underneath his dress shirt where she felt the skin of a man's back for the first time. His hands found the snap of her jeans and he soon had them peeled down to her ankles where they were stopped by her boots. He edged her to the bed and she sat back as he raised her legs to unzip her boots. One clunked on the floor where he threw it and the other one soon followed. He finished pulling her jeans off leaving her in a matching black lace boy shorts.

She watched as he got rid of the blue dress shirt that matched his eyes and color rose to her cheeks as he pulled his pants off leaving him in navy blue boxers. Jude scooted up further on the bed, lips parted staring at his muscular chest. He leaned down, and knelt between her legs, his lips finding hers as he pressed her back against the comforter. Her arms wrapped around his neck as his hands settled on her hips, pulling her more flush against his very aroused body. He grinded himself against her wet core, rubbing against her sensitive flesh causing small pants to escape her lips.

His fingers slid under the waistband of her panties and she arched her hips letting him peel them down her slender, but curvy legs. His mouth found her inner thigh and his tongue licked up to her center. He parted the curls with his fingers and touched her swollen nub with his tongue, causing her to flinch in surprise. He started to swirl his tongue along the pink flesh, wringing impossible sensations out of her body as her hands bunched the comforter on either side of her. His mouth closed on her clit and he started to suck, making a small gasp escape her lips. He slid one finger into her and her inner muscles clenched it tightly. The invasion was so foreign to her, that she stopped enjoying his mouth on her for the barest second, before his teeth scraped along her skin causing her to arch her hips up. He flicked his tongue along her nub and pushed his finger in and out. She started to convulse around him and he did not stop until the last tremors left her.

He slid up her body and demanded entrance into her mouth, which she opened eagerly. She could taste her own juices on his mouth and was surprised to find it did not bother her. He pulled back and she looked at him in puzzlement as he leaned over her to reach his nightstand. She watched as he took the foil packet out of the drawer and quickly ripped it opened it, sheathing himself with the ease of long practice. He slipped between her raised legs again and his hungry mouth found hers as his hands tangled in her ponytail. Her hair fell loose as he pulled the band out and his fingers held her head as he devoured her mouth. His arousal nudged against her opening insistently. She gave a small cry as he pushed inside of her and he froze hearing that it wasn't one of pleasure. He looked down at her in horror, shock and some emotion he refused to put name to.

"You're a virgin?!" She looked at him in puzzlement as she tried to adjust to the discomfort of him inside of her.

"I told you I never..." He looked into big vulnerable eyes and his gaze softened.

"I didn't realize that was what you meant."

He began to kiss and nip at the hollow where neck met shoulder, to try and distract her from where they were intimately joined. As she let out small noises his hips shifted involuntarily pushing him even deeper into her tight warm depths. He looked up at her small gasp.

"Are you alright?" He said in a low raspy voice, his control stretched taut. She felt so amazing wrapped around him.

"Do that again." Those words were the most erotic thing he had ever heard coming from a girl's mouth, sending more blood into his already throbbing member. Her slender callused hands clung to his shoulders as he started to stroke in and out. His movements wrung small cries out of her, that tested his self control to its very limits. She started, instinctually, to raise her hips to meet his thrust and he managed to go even deeper. As his pace increased, her nails dug into his back as she felt sensation building low in her body where they were joined. She turned dazed eyes to him and he kept his gaze locked on hers as he wrung small moans out of her.

"Let go..." He commanded and she did, her body convulsing around his arousal as his thrusts quickened. The building pressure in his cock exploded almost without warning, sending him over the edge as he pumped a few more times into her hot core. He rolled off of her, body deliciously spent, and learned to breathe again, arm flung haphazardly above his head on the pillow. When he could move, he took care of the condom and walked into the adjoining bathroom to get rid of it. He returned to the bedroom to see that she had slid underneath the sheets and tucked her arm underneath a pillow, head rested on top of both, red curls splayed out around her in a halo. The dark spot of color in the middle of his slate gray comforter did not escape his notice, but he did not acknowledge it then, as he lifted the sheets and slid in beside her. The thought of asking her to leave, he was used to sleeping alone, never even crossed his mind. He curled his body around her back, spooning her, arm wrapped around her middle. Her rhythmic breathing soon lulled him to sleep.

His eyes opened less than 2 hours later, his hard-on pressed against the girl in his arms. He woke her with soft kisses along her skin and she opened her drowsy eyes and smiled at him. He pressed his mouth onto hers and she responded by deepening the kiss. She wrapped one leg around his, her foot flat on the back of his calf as his hands moved along her silky skin. This time he went slow, taking his time to learn the curve of her hip, the indent of her spine where his tongue dipped low. This time she was bolder, her hands exploring his body, her mouth making him weak with need as she tasted him for the first time. He let her experiment on him, until his self control snapped. He flipped her off of him in one motion, pinning her to the mattress as his lips pressed down on hers. His hand reached blindly for the drawer, not able to lift his head from her sweet lips. He sheathed himself quickly, once his hand closed on a foil packet. He took her legs and placed them on his shoulders, leaving her entrance spread open. He pressed his fingers along the pink lips to make sure she was ready for him and found her wet and warm. The moan she gave as his erection brushed against her opening confirmed her need for him and he pushed in all the way in one stroke. His arms braced on either side of her head as he stared down at her flushed face. This time he managed to fit all of himself inside of her with the new angle and she felt stretched impossibly wide. Her muscles clenched him so tightly he wanted to come right then. As he started a steady rhythm, she could feel him sliding against her, sending small frissons of pleasure shooting out from where their bodies met. He buried himself deep before pulling almost completely out and then thrust in again, causing her to bite her lower lip as short breaths escaped between her teeth.

He shifted his angle a little so there was space between where they were joined intimately and his hands found the nub hiding among her curls. She cried out as he stroked the ultra sensitive kernel of flesh, while he continued his long strokes into her willing body. She came on a strangled scream, her pleasure taking root deep in his cock making him plunge into her almost feverishly. The tight fist of her body squeezed the orgasm out of him and he continued his pace until he felt every drop leave his body. He rolled onto his back letting her legs fall back onto the mattress, feeling almost dazed. He had not had such a strong reaction to a woman in a long time, if ever. He turned his head and saw her profile. Her chest was still rising and falling rapidly, matching his own ragged breath. She tilted her head slightly and met his gaze. Something about her stare undid him and he placed his lips against hers to shake the feeling away. Somehow she wound up curled in his arms and he found he didn't want to move as she fell asleep again, her breath fanning his chest.


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay right now I am posting a new chapter every few days, because I don't have a ton written yet and want to stay ahead on here. Please tell me what you think! I love reviews._

**Chapter Three**

Jude woke completely disoriented, early that morning, to a heavy arm draped across her bare belly, a hair covered leg pressed against hers. Her eyes flew open to see a dark head and naked body next to her. Where was she?! She looked around noting the bedroom that she had never seen before. Holy F%4 She had gone home with the guy from the bar, a guy whose last name she didn't even know. A guy who had a drawer full of condoms, literally! Granted he was also the hottest guy she had ever seen and when he had touched her....She had never felt anything like that before. And they had...twice! And her body sure remembered what she had done last night even if some of the details were fuzzy to her brain. She was sore where she had never been sore before.

What had she been thinking?! Oh that's right. She hadn't. She'd been busy worrying about her performance for the finale and then he had distracted her and then his mouth had pressed against hers....Her cheeks began to flame, almost matching her hair color. Okay this wasn't the end of the world she tried to tell herself. She wasn't one of those girls who had planned on saving her virginity for marriage or anything. It was simply that she had never met a guy, until now, that had made her want to do those things that led to loss of said virginity. Of course it would have been nice to at least have known his last name. Okay maybe it did bother her a little more than she cared to admit. Up until last night she had never even kissed a guy! What did that make her? He started to stir breaking her away from her panic attack and she held her breath as light blue eyes opened to meet hers.

"Hi." He said in that raspy voice she remembered herself responding to last night.

"Hi." She whispered back and cocked her head to one side, causing her to wince.

"Something wrong?" The movement had caused a dull ache to surface in her brain.

"Just my head."

"Ah..." He said with sympathy, knowing first hand how too much alcohol could make you feel the next morning. "Hang on." He got up suddenly, not bothering to cover himself and she looked away in embarrassment, not quite quickly enough to miss the full show. He was the first naked man she had ever seen, not including that one time when she had been 6 and walked in on her father in the bathroom. He padded out of the bedroom and came back a minute later with a glass of red liquid in his hand, sitting down beside her on the bed. She sat up, careful to make sure the sheets covered her bare breasts. She took the glass from him and he dropped three ibuprofen into her other palm.

"I don't know if more alcohol will make me feel better..." She said hesitantly and he grinned.

"No hair of the dog for you?" She looked at him confused. "Relax it's just Gatorade. Replenishes your electrolytes and rehydrates you." He said amusedly at her wary expression. She chased the pills down with a long sip of the drink and gave him a small smile.

"Thanks." His eyes were intent as they studied her face.

"So...Really... How old are you?" She choked on the sip of Gatorade she had just taken.

"How...old are you?" She asked, stalling for time.

"Twenty two." Shit! She did a slow mental calculation, math having never been her strong suit. He was seven years older than her?! Okay time to lie, so he doesn't completely flip out and start yelling.

"Ei...Eighteen." She said too hesitantly and mentally kicked herself.

"You're still in high school aren't you?" She gave a curt nod of her head, afraid to meet his eyes. He put a finger under her chin and tilted her head up to meet his gaze.

"Relax...It doesn't bother me...Much..." He grinned, showing he was joking and she smiled back. " I think I need a shower." She nodded at him and watched him, get up, unabashedly this time. "Wanna join me?" He held out his hand and she found herself taking it hesitantly. His hand was warm and much bigger than hers, engulfing her slender fingers. She simply stared at where they joined for a moment, before he tugged her up, causing the sheets to slide off of her naked body. No man had ever seen her like this and he could tell she was embarrassed. He tugged again and she stood up on unsteady feet. He put one hand on her hip and leaned down to kiss her. She was so wrapped up in the contact of his lips on hers, she barely noticed him leading them into the bathroom.

After the shower and subsequent sex in the shower, Jude found herself in the kitchen wearing her clothes from last night. She was still a little shocked at herself, that she had done it in the bathroom, stone cold sober this time and she had liked it, a lot! She opened his fridge and noticed the sparse contents. There was a half gallon of milk, orange juice, imported beer, bottles of condiments, a jar of olives and a canister of gourmet coffee.

"Don't you eat?" She turned and asked as she heard him enter the room, from the bathroom where he had been blow drying his hair.

"I haven't had time to shop. I just got back to town a couple of days ago."

"Oh..."

"Cereal okay?" She nodded and he went for his cupboard . She took the milk and coffee out while he got bowls and spoons for the cereal.

Once they had everything set up they sat at his glass top kitchen table, in a strangely companionable silence. She murmured in appreciation at the sweet brew made with freshly ground beans. She would have to convince her parents to buy a grinder. He looked at her in amusement as she sipped at the hot beverage, burning her tongue and still sipping again.

"So what do you do?" She asked feeling awkward as he stared at her. He shrugged, not wanting to get into his new job. She was a musician after all and he didn't really want to do any favors this early in his work.

"I'm doing a favor for a friend. Some freelance work."

"Are you a journalist?" She looked at him curiously. He didn't seem the type, a little too well dressed and a little too smooth. And his apartment she suspected was a little too pricey for a journalist.

"No...I do a little writing though...What about you?"

"I just ma...I just got a chance at my dream job." She stopped herself, not really wanting to get into the lame contest, that she would probably lose anyway.

"I thought you were still in high school..."

"They're willing to work around my schedule." Her eyes glittered with excitement. She looked at the wall clock and knew she had to leave soon. She had a sound check/rehearsal that afternoon and it would be bad if Sadie got home before she did. She let herself have a little more time as she wondered if she was crushing on the guy she had slept with. It was so out of character for her no one would she knew would believe her if she told them. Yesterday she had been a 15 year old waiting to meet a guy that she liked and who liked her back, to share her first kiss with, to make her feel wanted. That had obviously all changed now. It was funny how that seemed to be the story of her life these days. Entering Instant Star had been the first major change in her life and now he was the second. But even she, naïve 15 year old that she was, didn't think this was hearts and roses for him. He probably did this this all the time and he would forget her as soon as she left. Which is why his next words surprised her so much.

"Hey why don't you stay around today? I could take you out for dinner..." He surprised himself by suggesting, it wasn't unheard of, but highly unusual for him to ask a girl to hang around... afterwards. Maybe he did feel that weird pull to her that she felt for him too. She had no idea then, that that connection was highly unusual. What did she have to compare it to after all?

"I can't... I have something I need to do today. I should actually get going right now." She stood up and he grabbed her hand.

"What about tonight?" He found himself asking. What was it about this girl that made him want to spend more time with her? She found herself agreeing, even though her parents probably wouldn't like her going out after the contest. She could just tell them she left her books at Kat's and would probably just crash there. Maybe.

"Okay...It might be pretty late though..."

"I'll wait..." He gave her his signature grin that warmed her cheeks. The phone rang and he went to pick it up as she took their dishes to the sink.

"Tommy."

"Hey G."

"Welcome back. So how was L.A.?"

"Uh good...." He was distracted as Jude started to reach for her bag and then her jacket. She pulled her still damp hair out from underneath the collar of the jacket she had just put on.

"You interested in judging the Instant Start finale tonight? You could meet your new artist."

"Uh...I have plans tonight. If it's alright I'll just start Monday morning." Jude walked over to him and kissed his cheek quickly before making her way to the door. Georgia was speaking again, but he interrupted.

"Hold on a sec. G." He placed his hand over the mouth piece. "Tonight?" He asked Jude who had turned to look at him.

"If I can..." She said a little hesitantly as she wasn't really sure if she could get away. And she really wasn't sure if she should. She liked him a lot, but he was basically one of those guys who picked up girls in bars and he was so much older than she was. Would someone like him want to date a 15 year old? Georgia was speaking again and as he answered Jude left shutting the door quietly behind her.

She came back wearing a black tank style silk dress that defined her curves and ended a little above the knees that her father had thought was a little too mature for her, but Sadie had insisted, not wanting her little sister to embarrass her in public. Her family had taken her and Jamie out for dinner to celebrate her victory. She couldn't keep the smile, that had been there all night, off her face.

"Why do you looks so happy?"

"Uh...I got that job I wanted." Her smile was infectious and he found himself returning it.

"Congratulations. Did I mention you look nice?" He said with heat in his eyes as he took her hand and pulled her into him. Her hands pressed against his chest as he leaned down for a kiss. She was surprised to learn she remembered exactly how to do this, how to soften her lips just the right amount to meet his pressing mouth. He pulled back and looked down at her.

"Thanks. I had a dinner to go to." He wondered if she had had a date before coming to him. She read him easily. "With my family..." His arms relaxed a little as he cradled her. Michael Buble's song Home came on the radio and she smiled.

__

Another summer day  
has come and gone away  
In Paris or Rome  
but I wanna go home  
Mmmm

may be surrounded by  
a million people I  
still feel all alone  
just wanna go home  
I miss you, you know

"I don't know why, but I love this song." The way her eyes always shone when she smiled got to him. Tonight there seemed to be an extra sparkle.

"Dance with me." She shook her head embarrassed.

"I can't dance...Seriously I'll just step on you." He ignored her protests and took her more firmly in his arms, her head against his shoulder.

__

And I've been keeping all the letters  
that I wrote to you,  
Each one a line or two  
I'm fine baby, how are you?  
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough  
My words were cold and flat  
And you deserve more than that

He heard the words to the song, but they didn't mean anything to him. In his jaded life he had never missed another person like that. When he had been on tour there had always been girls to distract him and he had never had to think about whether or not there was more out there.

__

And I feel just like I'm living  
someone else's life  
It's like I just stepped outside  
when everything was going right  
And I know just why you could not come along with me  
This was not your dream  
but you always believed in me...

They barely swayed to the music and she looked up into his eyes. His lips came down on hers in a soft kiss that somehow surprised both of them in its tenderness. He didn't know that he still had any gentleness left in him. His hand left the small of her back and reached up to touch her hair. Curl after curl fell to her shoulders as he pulled the pins out. When he was done, his hands tangled in the soft strands and his lips found hers again.

__

Another winter day  
Has come and gone away  
in either Paris or Rome  
and I wanna go home  
Let me go home

And I'm surrounded by  
A million people I  
still feel alone  
Let me go home  
I miss you , you know

Tommy was so lost in the feel of her in his arms by now he ceased hearing the words that he could have identified with. After Angie had died he had not let another person in, even though he would never admit he felt loneliness. What the world saw and who he was, were miles apart. He wasn't even sure he knew anymore._  
_  
_Let me go home  
I've had my run  
baby I'm done  
I gotta go home_

Let me go home  
it'll all be alright  
I'll be home tonight  
I'm coming back home  


His hands slid the back of her dress where he easily found the zipper. His fingers skimmed her mostly bare skin, except for the bra strap and it sent shivers down her spine as he pulled the zipper down. The silk dropped to the floor in a whisper as his hands slid the straps off of her shoulders. She should have been embarrassed at his intent gaze, but he had seen her wet and naked just that morning. It seemed like a lifetime had happened that day. She met his hungry mouth without hesitation and soon they found their way to the couch.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Tonight was not going like she expected at all. She had come here believing it would be something like the shower scene this morning, his touch, a little forceful making her forget herself and simply making her feel. What was happening tonight was so much more dangerous, even she so young could sense this. Instead of being lost in the moment she was living it a heartbeat, a breath at a time. Everything he said, every touch he placed against her overheated skin was imprinting into her heart, drawing her deeper to a place she had never gone.

She let him remove the rest of her clothing, not caring that he stared at her naked body, not thinking that she may be lacking. She found her hands reaching up to help him pull off his t-shirt and then unbuckle his pants. She lay back against the cool leather of his black couch and watched as he divested himself of all his clothes.

He pressed his body down as his lips found hers and she pressed back harder, wanting that passion to burn through her veins like this morning. Instead the heat was slow and almost drugging, his lips clinging to hers and his tongue darting out to taste her. She watched herself almost detachedly, feeling like it was some other girl underneath this man, moaning against his mouth. She was almost scared at the feelings, yet unnamed, racing through her heart. He was seducing her she realized, not her body for she had come willingly, but her heart and that overwhelmed her because it was the unknown. Her legs parted for him without conscious thought and he slid between her thighs, pressing against her entrance, but he did not push in. He took his time to stroke every inch of her body with his fingertips. He pulled back once and she could not think to question why, but simply waited for him to continue his assault on her senses. When he did her arms wrapped around his neck as her legs did the same to his waist and he could no longer deny the pressing urge to enter her. He sank in slowly, letting her feel with every nerve ending his hardness spreading her wide, pushing against her inner walls. She was still a little tender from their activities this morning and the night before, but did not protest his intrusion. Yet somehow he heard the slight hitch in her breathing, and although he wanted to thrust into her over and over, he took his time.

She shifted her legs so that the pads of her feet rested against the back of his calves, opening her wider, so he could plunge that much deeper. His darkened eyes caught her wild stormy ones as he moved above her. It was such an intimate gesture to watch the emotions play over your lover as you used your body to bring them pleasure and he found himself drowning in her blue depths. Her hands went to the back of his shoulders, clinging as her mouth came down on his neck. She found herself biting down as he brushed the front of her over and over, wringing gasps out of her throat.

He held on by a slim thread as he used his skill to bring her over, twisting his hips just so, before he allowed himself to quicken the pace. He pumped against her contracting muscles until his control was a mere shadow and let himself fall, all senses centered on their joined bodies. He cried her name as the orgasm hit him and collapsed on top of her as his strength ebbed. It was long minutes before he could lift his head and gaze into her eyes. His hand reached up to smooth away the loose tendrils of hair that clung to her damp cheek and his thumb traced her swollen lower lip, her eyes never leaving his. He leaned down and touched his lips to hers.

Jude wasn't sure what woke her up right away. Tommy had one arm slung across her belly and one leg pinning hers down. She heard a light beeping noise coming from the living room and realized it must have been her cell phone. She eased herself away from his warm body, careful not to move him too much and breathed a sigh of relief when he didn't show any signs of waking. Her feet made no noise on the lush carpeting as she went to check her voicemail. Early morning light streamed through his balcony windows and she squinted as she reached for her jacket pocket.

Jude snapped her cell phone shut after listening to Kat's message. Apparently her mother had called Kat's house to remind Jude about the family brunch with her grandmother to celebrate her win. She reached for her clothes scattered around the room and quickly dressed. In Tommy's bedroom she laid one kiss on his lightly stubbled cheek. She was unsure what to say to him, so simply chose the path of least resistance and said nothing as she let herself out of his apartment. She was confused about what was going on between them and overwhelmed by what she was feeling.

As Jude walked down the street in last night's clothes, she knew what it felt like to be one of those women who leaves a one night stand in the movies and feel like every stranger's eyes were upon her, knowing what her night had entailed. Of course it was Sunday morning so there weren't exactly many people on the sidewalks. She self-consciously continued to walk in her heels and dinner dress, wrapping her jacket more tightly around her slim frame.

Monday morning Tommy sat down next Kwest at the soundboard and watched the band playing behind the glass partition. Kwest adjusted the knobs before looking over at his friend.

"Where were you this weekend man? I waited for you at Ziggy's Saturday night."

"I met a girl."

"So? You're always meeting girls."

"She's a really cool chick. There's something about her. She's different."

"You were with her all weekend?" Kwest asked in surprise. Women usually couldn't hold Tommy's interest for very long. He had earned his rep. for being a playboy and heartbreaker.

"Yeah some of it...She disappeared Sunday morning though."

"You let her stay over too?! What happened to I sleep alone?" Tommy shrugged.

"Not sure...Just never asked her to leave." Actually he had asked her to come back, not that he would admit that to his best friend.

"Then she left you?!" Tommy sometimes had a hard time shaking the girls he picked up, never the other way around. Tommy didn't want to admit to Kwest that he had gone back to Balthazars Sunday night hoping to run into her again or at least ask the bartender if he knew her, since she had spoken to him by name. "Man I gotta meet the woman who left Tommy Q wanting more." Tommy chose to ignore that comment.

"I'm gonna go see my new office." He stood up and headed for the doorway.

"Hey did you see the winner last night?" Kwest called.

"Nah...I'll meet her when she gets here." Tommy said almost resignedly before he walked away.

"She's not bad. Jude's got tal..." Kwest stopped, realizing he was talking to empty air.

Tommy walked out of his office towards the common area to greet the new Instant Star. He had been told she had finally shown up. From the second floor he saw a girl with long straight bright red hair, must have been a popular color this year, he thought as it reminded him of another girl with shorter silken curls he had loved tangling his hands in and a tall geeky teenage boy speaking to Georgia. He got close enough to hear what she was saying to Georgia as he leaned on the railing. He heard the words Little Tommy Q and something about being lame. That was enough to break his silence.

"First, I'm here because Georgia is a friend. I could care less about your wack contest. Second the name's Tom Quincy. Don't ever call me Little Tommy Q. again." He said before she had even turned around. When she did her impossibly big blue eyes grew even huger as she looked into his familiar cerulean ones. The word 'sorry' froze on her lips. So many things ran through his brain he was surprised his head didn't explode. What had Georgia said about the two finalists? One had the packaging to be a Pop star, but wasn't a great singer and the other one...the other one had the talent, but was possibly too young and too green. Had Georgia mentioned _how_ young she was?!

He walked down the stairs to join them and Georgia introduced them to each other, including the geeky kid Jude had come with, not that he paid him any attention. His cold eyes were focused on only one person. She would not meet his hard gaze, instead picking at the frayed denim of her ripped jeans. Georgia said something about having a feeling that they would work well together and she sang Tommy's praises. Neither of them listened as their thoughts were dominated by another subject.

" I...uh need to get to know Jude a little better before we start working together." He interrupted Georgia causing Jude to finally look up at him. She looked to Georgia with pleading in her eyes, but the woman thought they were just nerves and excused the terror radiating from her. Jude swung her eyes back to Tommy and he gave her a look that dared her to say no.

"Don't worry Jude Tommy doesn't bite." _Oh yes he does _Jude could only think. She had a mark on her belly to prove it. "Go on." Tommy gestured for Jude to walk towards what she would later learn was Studio B. She followed reluctantly, dragging her feet as she entered the sound booth. He shut the door behind them and spoke immediately.

"How old are you?" She bit her lip and looked down at her Converse sneakers, scared to answer him.

"How old?!" He barked, startling her and causing her to look up into his eyes.

"15..." It came out on a soft breath.

"You're just a kid..." He muttered still in shock. He looked at her more closely and could see finally how young she was, now that she was dressed in what he assumed was her normal clothes of ripped jeans and simple long sleeved shirt. "You lied to me!"

"Like you didn't withhold the truth. Freelance work?!" She scoffed as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Well excuse me for not realizing you'd care that I was producing the first Instant Star!"

"Wait you knew I was into music...Is that why you didn't tell me you were a producer?" He was about to answer her, but Tommy saw movement from the corner of his eye and turned his head slightly to see Georgia and E.J. watching them from the sound board. "We need to work on your song." He hissed, nodding at the women watching them with concern. Jude followed his gaze and nodded her head too.

She seated herself at the stool where he handed her a acoustic guitar and stood next to her.

"Show me what you got." She started on 24 Hours and he winced exaggeratedly.

"Stop! You're hurting my ears!" She glared at him. "Look the song did it's job. It won you the contest." Their problems with each other were temporarily forgotten as they talked about her song. He told her it needed to be personalized. They started to bicker, as Jude obstinately refused to change the words she had written with her best friend. He took the guitar from her and played his variation on the chords and she wouldn't admit it sounded better. He handed it back to her and continued to tell her how it needed to be changed.

"You're just doing this because you're mad at me!" She finally said to him in a furious whisper, knowing the people in the other room might be listening in.

"Now why would I possibly be mad at you?" He said so sarcastically, that if she had been a different girl she probably would have cringed. Instead they continued staring at each other locked in a battle of wills. After a long moment her best friend Jamie burst in, causing the two of them to look over at him.

"Jude we have that uh...thing we need to get to." Jude stood up suddenly.

"Oh yeah right...That thing..." She pulled the strap over her neck and handed the guitar back to Tommy who watched with frustration written on his face. "Georgia is it all right if I head out?" Jude called through the now open door. Georgia nodded reluctantly. Jude and Jamie beat a hasty retreat, leaving Tommy without another word.

Georgia walked into the sound booth as Tommy was putting away the guitar.

"What was that? You guys seemed almost like you were fighting." He shrugged, unable to look her in the eye.

"Just a difference in artistic opinion."

"Take it easy on her Tommy. She's only fifteen." Fifteen echoed through his skull. Even now knowing how young she was, he had had an urge to kiss her while they'd been arguing. Tommy wanted so badly to just bail, but he had made a promise to Georgia and he couldn't exactly tell his friend he had committed statutory rape with her new fifteen year old artist and it would be a little awkward to work with her. Maybe she would let him just leave; he had to try, yet knowing it was futile.

"Georgia I don't think this is going to work out."

"Why not Tom?" Georgia looked at him with concern. She had thought this would be a good fit and respected his work.

"She won't listen to me." That was a lame excuse and he knew it.

"You're letting one girl defeat you?" Georgia asked in amazement. "Tommy...She's a girl...Use some of that charm you're famous for." She nudged him and he gave her a reluctant smile. "I didn't want to scare her on her first day, but E.J. got her a gig at the Vinyl Palace on Thursday. She needs to have a song ready by then."

"I..."

"I know you see it Tom. She's got talent...But she's going to need someone to help her. Tell me you don't think you can do it." He couldn't say that, because when he had heard her sing, he had seen the possibilities and his mind had immediately started to process how to make her even better.

"Alright one song and we'll see how it goes from there." He said, still unsure, but also needing to talk to Jude regardless of whether or not he wound up producing her.

"You bet." Georgia grinned knowing she had him. Tommy she knew could see the promise in Jude just like she had and he would not back down from that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Jude and Jamie came out of Carson Hill High Tuesday afternoon to the school band playing and cheerleaders doing whatever it was they did. They stared at each other in shock as they both realized it was her song being played on the tubas. The principal pulled her in for a picture before she could do more than give him a weak smile. She stood there in utter mortification as they finished the song.

Jude's knees grew weak as the school band passed by and she saw him leaning against a blue sports car with sunglasses on. She turned to Jamie, barely hearing him say he wanted to talk to her about something, to make her apologies before she ran down the stairs to meet him. He took off his sunglasses as she neared and she tried to keep her gaze from locking on his mesmerizing blue eyes, eyes that she had stared at for a long, long time just that weekend.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she reached him.

"Get in. We need to talk." She was not comforted by those words. He nodded towards the car and she found herself opening the door, not sure why she was agreeing to anything.

He started to drive and all she could do was sit there as her mind raced.

Was he going to yell at her? Her mind could not fathom what he could possibly want to say, their reality was so insane.

"Where are we going?" She finally spoke.

"Somewhere where you can't run away from me." Okay that did not sound good. When he stopped the car they were on the pier of a large local lake. Fishing boats could be seen in the distance and the sun was shining off the water. He got out and a second later she followed.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest in a defensive pose, and looked at him, bracing herself for whatever he had to say.

"So?" She asked when he simply continued to stare at her.

"You aren't going to tell anyone what happened are you?" He finally voiced the question that had been haunting him. The age of consent was 16 in Canada and she could get him arrested if she said anything.

"Like I want anyone to know I slept with an ex-boybander."

"You're 15! You're not supposed to sleep with anyone?!" He gave her a look of outrage. She gave a snort and had to hold back laughter. The glint in her eye, that had first drawn him to her, did not help his mood. "This is not funny." She couldn't control the laughter that came bubbling out.

"You're right. It's not funny. " She said in gasps and he gave a small involuntary smirk. "So how old were you you're first time?" He had the grace to look embarrassed which Jude thought probably didn't happen very often.

"That's none of your business." Jude raised her eyebrow. Maybe it wasn't, but at this point did it really matter? He sighed not knowing why she seemed to pull answers out of him without trying, when no one else could. "13." He admitted sheepishly.

"13?! And you have a problem with me being 15?!"

"You realize it's still illegal?"

"Oh..." She stared sheepishly down at her shoes. "Sorry about that..."

"Tell me one thing."

"What?" She looked up at him questioning.

"You didn't go there that night looking to...you know..." Her mouth gaped in shock.

"I was drunk you moron! It was the first time I ever drank!" He winced. He had tried to convince himself that maybe she was one of those girls who was only a technical virgin, but in his gut he knew it wasn't true. Her responses had been too open and if he admitted...damn hot. She had had many firsts that night, that entire weekend in fact. And he had been responsible for most of them.

"I just had to know." She nodded, almost understanding. He didn't know her after all. It was good thing he didn't ask why she had gone back though, because she had no idea what that answer was. "You know that weekend has to stay between us right?"

"I...Yeah..." She said.

"Good...I was worried you thought it might be something more." He said in relief, not realizing how callous he sounded to a teenage girl he had slept with. She had known they would not work, but deep down she had hoped... "We can't work together unless we pretend it never happened." He said to confirm that she understood. She nodded, as her eyes remained on the water.

"It never happened." She uttered and that was when she realized she had fallen for him. Little Tommy Q of Boyz Attack. She must be crazy. "So is that the only reason we're here? You could have just called me you know?"

"Actually Georgia wanted me to tell you some good news."

"Yeah?"

"She scored a gig for you at the Vinyl Palace on Thursday."

"Really?! The Vinyl Palace!" Her eyes lit up and he couldn't help but grin at her excitement.

"We have two days to get your song presentable." He opened his car door and pulled out the acoustic he had brought with him from the back. He handed it to her as she settled herself. She was nervous playing for him now and he could hear the tension radiating from every note. At one point his arms went around her from behind and repositioned her fingers. That was the shot the photographer got from across the docks, hinting at more than a professional relationship. If he only knew the truth.

.

After the day at the docks, Jude was more confused than ever. He had said they had to forget what had happened that weekend, but the way he acted around her made it seem otherwise. When they had worked on her song, it had been amazing how well he seemed to understand her. So when he had shown up at the door to her dressing room to wish her luck before her debut at the Vinyl Palace she had taken it as a sign. They sat close to one another and it didn't take much effort for her to lean in and press her lips to his. And for quite a few minutes he responded, until he came to his senses and grabbed her by the shoulders to push her away. She opened her eyes and looked at him in confusion.

"We agreed this couldn't happen Jude." He said not sure if he was angry with her for initiating the kiss or himself for responding to it. "What were you thinking?!"

"I...thought there was something between us."

"There is no 'us'. I don't do relationships, even if you weren't too young..." She could only stare at him as he could not seem to stop speaking. "Look if it wasn't for the fact that we wound up working in the same place I probably would never have seen you again." He lied and hoped she believed him.

"Then why did you ask me to come back?" She asked, finally angry that he had made it seem like whatever this was between them was one sided when she knew it wasn't. He was saved from answering by the techie that knocked to tell her she was on in two. They shared one more glance before he left without saying anything else to her.

.

Tommy walked up to Jude's friend Jamie in the crowd as he watched her on stage. If spending time with her hadn't made Tommy want to see her again, hearing her sing would have. Jude had told Tommy Jamie was upset that she had changed 24 with Tommy, but like Tommy apparently this kid couldn't stay away either. Jamie made some snide comment about how he and Jude had been writing songs in her room to change the world long before Tommy had shown up on the scene.

"Does that look like her bedroom to you?" Tommy asked as he kept his gaze on her. She was amazing on that stage. She was born for this.

When she was finished, she walked through the crowd to get out of the club, passing by Tommy on her way. He stopped her and told her she had been amazing. Her response had been to shove her guitar into his arms and freeze him with her gaze.

"I quit." She said to him before hurrying out of the club, leaving him standing there stunned. Even though it might have been easier for him, he decided that he couldn't let her waste her talent like that.

She sat on the front step of her house later that night when he pulled up in his fancy Viper. He got out and she watched him, not saying anything as he walked towards her. He sat down next to her as she stared out into the darkness.

"What I said tonight was true. You were amazing. You showed everyone that you were exactly where you were meant to be." He turned his head to see her response, but still she did not speak, so he continued. "You were born for this. You're the real deal, even better." She finally turned towards him and their eyes met. "Don't let what happened between us ruin that Jude..." She turned away and thought about it as he watched her silently.

"Okay..." She said softly.

"Friends?" He asked and put out his hand. She nodded and took it in hers, both of them ignoring the same magnetic reaction, they had shared the first time they touched.


	6. Chapter 6

_Since it's Thanksgiving I thought I wouild post this a little earlier than usual. This was definitely one of my favorite chapters to write. ENJOY and REVIEW to tell me what you think!_

**Chapter 6**

Sunday morning of the following weekend Sadie found Jude sitting in the backyard writing in her journal. She had just come back from Monica's house and had been ready to grill Jude since last night.

"Jude." Jude looked up a little startled and stared at her sister.

"Sadie..." Sadie had her arms folded over her chest in her interrogation mode.

"Where did you go when you left the bar last Friday?" Jude looked down quickly, knowing her eyes would betray any lying she attempted to do.

"What do you mean where was I?"

"Ray says you left with this guy and he came in again and asked about you Sunday night." Tommy had never told her he went looking for her...

"Yeah so?" Jude tried to sound nonchalant.

"Did you go home with him Jude?!" Jude looked up quickly and then away again.

"No! Of course not! I went over to Kat's...He just walked me out to call a taxi." Jude could see Sadie's tense shoulders relax and Jude's did too.

"So was he cute?" Sadie asked, curious what kind of guy her sister had managed to snag.

"Yeah...I guess." At Jude's lack of enthusiasm, Sadie assumed he couldn't have been that hot. Jude was only 15 after all.

"Anyway I just wanted to make sure you didn't do anything stupid." Sadie said finally bored of giving Jude this much attention. " I don't want mom and dad knowing anything." Jude nodded and Sadie sauntered back inside, satisfied she had done her sisterly duty.

.

Tommy tried to keep somewhat of a professional distance at first, but she made it too easy to relax around her. And musically they just clicked. All of their history, wariness with each other, was forgotten when they got down to work. He found himself looking forward to working with Jude everyday and refused to dig deeper to find out what that really meant. He ignored the attraction he still held for her, it wasn't like he didn't find many females attractive. There was that brunette intern Claudia she was a looker and Jude's own sister Sadie who came by to pick her up more than once. He noticed her noticing him quite a few times. So what if it had taken him 3 days to get her name right?

"Hey whatever happened to that girl you were so into? Did you ever find her?" Kwest asked as they worked on Jude's new song.

"It didn't work out. She wasn't who I thought she was." Tommy said his eyes still riveted on Jude in the sound booth.

"What was wrong with her? She married or something?"

"Or something..." Kwest could tell, Tommy was finished with the subject and knew better than to press.

.

Tommy waited at the curb in his black Porsche to take Jude to the studio when she came slamming out of the house with her bag slung across her back. She got in and sighed loudly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing...My mum just wanted to lecture me." She rolled her eyes and harrumphed again.

"Something important?"

"My mum says I should spend less time with you. She says you'll take advantage of me." He gulped visibly.

"What did you tell her?" He was unable to hide the slight tremor in his voice.

"I told her it was already too late." His face was panic stricken as she tried to hide the curve her lips wanted to make. "Gosh you're gullible Quincy. Relax I told her you think of me as a kid, like your little sister." Yeah if he had done the things he had done with Jude with his so called little sister he'd have gone straight to Hell, not that he wasn't in a kind of slow burning one with her in his life anyway.

.

There was this point not so far into their joint collaboration that Tommy had been ready to quit working on Jude's album. The single they had worked so hard on never made it onto the radio and he had felt like a failure. That was when Jude came up with her brilliant plan to try one more time and had cajoled Tommy into agreeing. He had been unable to say no to those big baby blues batting at him. She made a deal with him, that if the next song they worked on didn't do well either she wouldn't say a word about him leaving. However if it wound up being a killer single, he would finish the album with her. She had it all planned out, a day away at her family farmhouse with no distractions, just peace and music. Her parents however had not agreed, insisting on chaperones. That was how Jude's friends wound up being dragged along too. Tommy had purposefully brought his two-seater Viper, forcing Jamie and Kat to meet them there.

Okay maybe he should have brought the Hummer on this trip. Then maybe there would be the buffer of her friends between them. Where were they anyway? Although he wasn't crazy about her best friend, it was easier than being alone with her. Her big eyes were intent as she sang out of those lush lips and he felt his eyes drawn to them as he continued to strum on the acoustic, singing his part.

__

(Him) I know what I feel and you feel it too

(Her) I dream of the first kiss and who'll make the first move

Who's gonna put their heart on the line

(Him) It could be me, it could be you

(Her)Tonight...

She faltered finally and looked away. She couldn't throw herself at him and have him reject her again. She would die.

"Uh...I'm a little thirsty. You want a soda?" She asked as she turned to head for the kitchen before getting his reply.

"Yeah...That would be good...." He called to her back, equally uncomfortable. He put the guitar down on the table and followed her into the next room. "Can I help?" He asked from too close behind her. She jumped in surprise and the glass she had just filled with ice slipped onto the floor, shattering. She knelt to pick up the shards and yelped in pain. Tommy pulled her up and examined the index finger she had pricked.

"Are you alright?" He asked concerned because she still hadn't spoken. Maybe she was one of those people who didn't like the sight of blood. He led her to a chair and sat her down kneeling in front of her. The cut did not look that deep, her callus protecting her from the worst, but a small trickle of blood still oozed from it. He looked up at her and realized what had frozen her vocal cords. She was staring at where his hand held her wrist and as soon as he registered he was touching her, his skin started to tingle. He lifted her wrist up towards his face and licked the droplet of blood off her skin, before taking the tip into his mouth. He heard the intake of breath from her and wondered for the briefest second what the hell he thought he was doing before he started to suck on the finger. The pressure tugged on lower parts of her body and she could only think it really was like in the movies as heat started to pool low in her belly.

They heard the banging of the screen door and he dropped her hand, falling back on his ass. That was how Sadie found them, both looking a little dazed. She gave Jude a questioning look before looking at Tommy sitting on the floor.

"I cut my finger." Jude said lamely and raised her hand to show Sadie. It had stopped bleeding thanks to Tommy and the slice was barely visible. Sadie gave them both a strange look.

"Hey Tommy." She gave him a bright sexy smile as he stood up.

"Hey Sadie..." He said, mentally kicking himself for what had almost happened.

"I'm going to go change." She said lifting her bag, before she walked to the bedroom. She was still in the suit she had worn to her debate, where she had found Stuart flirting with his mistress. That was also the reason she had left the city to join them here. Jude and Tommy exchanged one more glance before she stood up to find a bandage. He found a broom and swept up the broken glass.

They worked on the song some more as Sadie sunbathed on a lounge chair making sure Tommy got a good look at her barebelly and long curvy legs. She finally got bored of them ignoring her and stood up declaring she was hungry. Jude watched helplessly as her sister started to flirt with Tommy who had started the grill for burgers and hotdogs. She walked back inside with the acoustic to work on the song by herself, unable to look at them any longer.

Tommy and Sadie stood by the old horse coral as she told him about her father's infidelity. Tommy was no good around a woman's tears. It always made him extremely uncomfortable and unsure what to do, so when Sadie leaned into his arms he automatically held her. The girl in his arms was beautiful, built and not 15. He still felt the edge of hunger from what had almost happened with Jude, so when Sadie leaned her tearstained face up he found himself using the oldest form of comfort a man could. He kissed her and knew immediately that she wasn't the right one. He pulled his head back gently and she embraced him more tightly. When he looked towards the farmhouse, he saw Jude watching them. Isn't that what he had wanted? To make sure Jude knew that earlier had been a mistake, meant nothing? Then why did it feel like lead was weighing down his stomach?

Kat and Jamie had finally shown up and Jude promptly told them everyone was leaving. Tommy had not been given the chance to speak to her alone and he was wary of what she could be thinking.

"What about the song?" He asked.

"I finished it myself." Jude said, her eyes refusing to meet his. He watched helplessly as she got into Jamie's backseat without a backward glance at him.

As Jude sat in the backseat of Jamie's car, she was quiet while her friends did all the talking. She was so stupid. Jude Harrison was a moron. That's all there was to it. Tommy had told her over and over that nothing was going to happen with him and she hadn't listened. And until today, she had never felt shame at sleeping with Tommy. She was just another girl, he had been attracted to, nothing else. He proved that easily enough today when he moved in on her gorgeous, perfect, brilliant sister. She had let herself believe, even though he denied it, that there had been something special between them. Now she just cursed herself for being so blind. He had told her to forget anything had ever happened and right then she promised herself she would. She wouldn't be so stupid again. Tommy was her producer, nothing more. She bit her lip to try to keep the tears at bay as Kat and Jamie teased each other in the front. She heard the roar of the engine as the Viper passed them on the road and watched as the blue car streaked off.


	7. Chapter 7

_Yes the age of consent in Canada is really 16. It was 14 when IS started and changed to 16 this year to answer one of my reviewers question._

**Chapter 7**

When Tommy saw Jude again on Monday afternoon, she didn't act like he expected, not that he had been sure what to expect. Her eyes weren't full of pain that he had caused and nor did she try to avoid him. She simply dropped her bag on the floor, said his last name as her greeting and walked right into the sound booth ready to work on It Could Be You, the song they had written that weekend.

"What's up with her?" Kwest asked and Tommy merely shrugged. Kwest figured maybe they had gotten into another fight

Kwest found it hilarious that this slip of a girl had no fear of Tommy. She spoke up when she believed he was wrong and the strangest thing was Tommy let her get away with it. Even their arguments were forgotten the very next day. The vibe in the studio had changed in subtle ways since they had both started working together. And if Jude wasn't 15 Kwest could have sworn there was sexual tension there as well, not that age had ever stopped Tommy before. Once in a while he would catch Jude giving Tommy a look, as if she knew his darkest secrets, and Tommy would actually turn his head away from it. Weird.

Tommy tried to speak to Jude just once about the weekend, while Kwest was off getting a snack, but she had told him to drop it. What he did with his lips was none of her business she said, before she changed the subject by asking about one of the chord variations. He was a little stunned that she didn't want to talk about it. Was she really just fifteen?

.

The news that Tommy was being asked to produce a couple of songs for hip hop mogul Darius Mills nephew Shay was actually welcome. The atmosphere at the studio had him simply confused. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was something different about the way he and Jude interacted. She was just as full of energy, stubborn and driven by music, but there was something missing in the way she looked at him. He was almost happy to get the time away from Jude to work on Shay's music. Little did he know how much the way Shay eyed Jude would bother him.

Tommy was present the first time Shay laid eyes on _his_ girl and in the same space of time shot down his attempts to hit on her. It made Tommy proud, but he also knew her resistance would intrigue Shay more. He knew because, once upon a time, he had been Shay. He could also tell she wasn't immune to his charm as she almost ran into a door and tripped as she walked away.

When Jude met Shay Mills, although he had been cute, she had wanted nothing to do with him. He had deposed her from her producer and her studio. But then she reconsidered. Jude watched the too smooth rapper as he tried to hit on her. She was a little flustered as no one had ever really done that before. Well there had been Tommy, but he hadn't really tried a line on her. They had just started talking like they had known each other from before. Shay however was definitely using his arsenal on her. And she found herself tripping as she turned to go. Could she be any more lame?

He was cute and charming when he wanted to be and most importantly closer to her own age. There would be no worries about him telling her she was too young for him. She had had a good time playing the guitar while he rapped, when they had gotten into a music battle or Shay/Jude mash-up as Tommy had called it.

.

Little did she know, she wasn't allowed to insult the golden boy and that he would take mortal offense, forcing her to apologize to him. That was how she wound up at a club Shay was doing a gig at one night. She had dragged Kat and Jamie along for moral support, hating what she had to do. When she had tried to apologize he had asked what for. He told her he liked that at least one person had the guts to be honest to his face and proceeded to flirt with her before getting on stage.

Jude and her friends watched as Shay rapped. She could feel his dark eyes on her as he sang. When he was done he got off the stage and headed straight for her.

"How'd you like the song? I wrote it for you, you know?" She was flattered and a little nervous. Even though certain things had happened with a certain producer, she had never actually dated anyone before. They did a little more flirting and then he asked her out for a burger. Tommy walked up to them, having heard what was going on, calling Jude's attention.

"Jude go home. It's late." Tommy gave Shay a glare and put his gaze back on Jude. She stared at him defiantly and shook her head. He was her producer and maybe friend, nothing more. She trusted him with her music, but the rest of her, she wouldn't give him that chance again. She wouldn't let him get that close.

"You're not my father Tommy." She turned her back to Tommy to face Shay again. Tommy clenched his fists and knew there was no way he could have it out with her in this club, so he walked away. Wasn't the best way to get over her feelings for one guy, to find someone else to focus on? She slipped her slender hand into Shay's larger one and gave her friends a look of apology as he pulled her towards the back door. She never saw the jealousy in her oldest friend's eyes or the grin on her other friend's lips as they watched her leave with Shay and his posse trailing behind them.

.

"Scram Andrews." Kat said as she walked up to Jamie and Jude in the hallway of Carson High, linking her arm through Jude's.

"What? Benton does this look like your own private hallway?" He asked offended and confused. Kat thought the geeky, yet adorable way he scrunched up his face was so cute, not that she would ever admit it to him.

"What's up Kat?" Jude asked to diffuse the tension between her two friends.

"Well I want to know how last night went." Jamie was all ears as he waited to hear what Jude had to say. She was supposed to finally realize they, Jamie and Jude, were meant to be together, but then this Shay guy has to come into the picture.

"It...was good." After the initial awkwardness, Jude and Shay had been able to hang out and talk a little.

"Did he kiss you?" Jude gave a short nod of her head that had Jamie's blood boiling. Kat looked pointedly at Jamie again. "Andrews this is girl talk." Jude gave him a slight look of apology. He finally sighed, defeated and walked in the other direction.

"He was actually...kind of sweet about it." Jude said still a little surprised that she had had a good time. He had taken her out for that burger and he hadn't minded when she had teased him about the lyrics to his song. It had been a little weird to have his posse trailing along, but other than that it had been nice and normal or what she assumed was normal.

"_So what's wrong with my lyrics?" He had asked as he watched her intently. She snagged a fry off his plate and chewed before answering._

"This ain't no show. You take me down low. Make me want to blow....? "

"You remember that? I thought you didn't like rap." She shrugged, a little embarrassed to have been caught listening to his music. He had laughed at her then and they had continued to talk.

_His car had followed them as he walked her down the street to her house and they had laughed and talked some more. When they reached her front steps he had actually asked if he could kiss her. She had said okay and he had leaned down to press his lips to hers. _

"So....? How was it? Better than the guy who shall not be named?" Kat asked interrupting Jude from her reverie. Jude had had to tell Kat that she had met a guy that weekend of Instant Star, since she was her alibi, but she had been closemouthed about details and was so glad she had been now.

"It...was different..."

"Different good or different bad?" Kat asked, living vicariously through her friend. They continued to walk down the hallway, not noticing the students noticing Jude.

"Good...I think." The kiss had been sweet, no tongue or anything, but firm and warm. Of course there was no comparison to how it had been with Tommy. Jude shook her head, subconsciously, trying to dispel thoughts of him from her mind.

"You think your producer is a good kisser?" Kat asked out of the blue.

"What?!" Jude squeaked.

"Come on, don't tell me you never thought about it. The man is like an Orlando Bloom sundae smothered in Johnny Depp sauce." And Jude knew exactly how he looked naked. She felt her cheeks grow warm. The more she tried not to think about it, the more the images invaded her mind. If Kat only knew....But Kat couldn't know. No one could. Because it never happened.

.

Tommy scowled as he watched Jude and Shay through the glass, singing and looking as if they were having a great time.

"What's the matter Tom?" Georgia asked from the seat next to him. She had come on to check on the progress of the duet between Shay and Jude, Waste My Time.

"I don't think they're a good idea. He distracts her from her music." Georgia gave him a smile and amusement was clear in her voice.

"Tommy she's a teenage girl. She's going to date." Georgia thought it was sweet that Tommy was worried about Jude. She had known him a longtime and was glad to see he had matured enough to care about someone else besides himself.

"He's a player." Tommy stated as he watched Shay snake a hand around Jude's waist.

"Well every girl has to learn to take care of herself sometime. That doesn't happen without experience." That's what he was worried about, he told himself. What kind of experience would Shay give Jude?

Tommy had been in a great mood when on the set of the video for Waste My Time, Jude had clearly stated that Shay should keep his hands off her ass. Then she had proceeded to spray him down with the hose minutes later. Apparently there was trouble in paradise and he would never admit it, but it made him happy. The high lasted only until Shay pulled Jude into a storage closet and they did not emerge for 10 minutes. What could they have been doing in there, he did not want to think about. But when they came out Jude's lipstick was smudged and there was a smile on her lips for Shay.

"What is your problem?!" Shay practically yelled after he had pulled Jude into the closet.

"You broke up with me because your uncle told you to. What are you 5!?" Shay looked chastened. He hadn't wanted her to find out this way.

"Uncle D. says it's bad for my image to be attached to any girl..." Jude crossed her arms and glared at him.

"I can't believe you're the first guy I ever dated...." She uttered in self-disgust. Why couldn't she pick a nice normal, not too old guy, that actually liked her?

"Wait....I was?" He asked in shock. She sighed and shook her head.

"Let's just finish the video. I can't believe I still have to kiss you after this..." Shay watched her with a calculating look in his eyes. He pulled her towards him before she could object and planted his mouth on hers. When he pulled back she could only stare, confused.

"What...?"

"I was wrong. I'm sorry."

"So?"

"So. How about another date?" He asked earnestly and she nodded wordlessly. He took her hand and they walked back onto the set.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

There were sweet lips on his and warm skin underneath his palm, when all of a sudden she was gone. Shay opened his eyes to see Jude, who had just been molded to him, suddenly a good foot away with Tommy's hand on her arm. She looked slightly embarrassed as he let go of her.

"This is a work place. Not your little pimp pad."

"Chill man. We were just saying hello." Shay said, his tone a little too cocky for Tommy's taste. Tommy turned his head to Jude.

"We're recording." She nodded and he stalked back into the studio.

"What is his problem?!" Shay asked. Jude shrugged.

"He's kind of protective of me. I'm like his little sister." Yeah sure. It was as true now as the first time she had said that. "Anyway I'll see you after?" She said with a small smile that he returned. He kissed her briefly and watched as she followed Tommy in.

Kwest was on a bathroom break when Tommy turned to Jude at the soundboard. He didn't like how fast she was moving with Shay Shay, not that he would admit even to himself, why.

"You don't have to rush into anything with Shay you know?" She snapped her head towards him.

"What?" She asked, dumbfounded. Has she heard him right?

"Just because you've done it before doesn't mean you have to sleep with him." She looked at him in shock. Was he serious?!

"You think I would...? Just because we...?" Her voice reflected a hurt that made him feel instantly guilty.

"You gave your virginity to a virtual stranger." He tried to justify his words as guilt at basically accusing her of being easy, started a slow crawl up his spine.

"We never happened remember?" She said 'we' instead of 'it' and he found it bothered him. "And it's not like you weren't there enjoying yourself!" They glared at each other, until the door swung open and Kwest stepped in forcing them to look away. He noticed the tension, but as usual did not comment. Kwest thought it was amusing how easy Jude could rile Tommy up. Usually his friend simply didn't care enough about anyone else to get bothered by what anyone said, but Jude seemed to get him going with little effort.

Tommy and Kwest sat at the soundboard as Jude sang Your Eyes. She laughed as Shay, sitting on the couch, showed her a sign he had written with a 10 and a heart on it.

"It's like she can't record without him anymore. I mean what does she see in him?" Tommy asked in disgust.

"Money, fame, talent. You're right complete mystery." Kwest said deadpan.

"That's a rhetorical question man. I know what she sees in Shay. I was Shay."

Tommy watched as Shay and T-Bone started fooling around, distracting Jude once again. Tommy got up quickly.

"Kwest cut it!" He got up and stormed into the sound booth.

"Relax that was her fifth good take." The punk said to him, making his fists clench.

"It's okay I'll... I'll sing it again. It's fine." Jude said trying to ease the tension coming off Tommy in waves.

"My girl's been rocking the mike all night. The song's done Quincy. We got places to go." Shay put his arm around Jude's shoulder with a smirk aimed at Tommy and Tommy was so close to losing it. He should not be touching her.

"It's done when I say it's done. Shay Shay" Tommy got into his face and T-Bone had to push him back.

"Can you guys just give me a second?" She asked Shay and T-Bone.

"Talk to your boy." T-Bone said before they left her alone with Tommy.

"What's up with you two lately?"

"I'm worried about you Jude. You're losing focus."

"That's really the problem Tommy?" She gave him a penetrating gaze daring him to give her an honest answer for once. She shook head and rolled her eyes when he looked away. "I sang the song every way you wanted Tommy. If you're not happy with it maybe the problem is you." Jude joined Shay and with one more glance at Tommy, left.

Tommy sat back down hard, next to Kwest and growled in frustration.

"What was that?"

"Nothing..." Tommy mumbled. If Kwest didn't know better, he would have thought his friend was jealous.

* * *

Tommy was there when T-Bone warned Shay about the first rule of the road; no attachments when you go on tour. And although telling Jude would probably bite him in the ass, she deserved to know Shay was going on a world tour. He steeled himself to face her before he knocked on her front door. She opened it with flowers in her hands, that he barely noticed. She walked out to join him, closing the door behind her.

"Tommy....Now's not a good time..." She half whispered. He took a CD out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"It's the song you recorded. Shay was right. You nailed it." She gave him a small smile as she looked at it. "Can we get back to work now?" He asked in his totally Tommy, endearing way that made it hard to stay mad at him. She had a weakness when he looked at her like that.

"I would love to." They simply stared at each other for a few seconds before Sadie opened the door and swung her head in Tommy's direction.

"Tommy." She said with a bright smile on her face. "Mom set another place." She called into the house before linking her arm through his and pulling him into the house. Oh hell! Was all Jude could think as she followed them.

Okay this....was awkward. Jude had expected that much with her dorky parents meeting Shay for the first time, but God apparently had to punish her some more, by bringing Tommy by right in time for dinner. Jude gave Sadie a small glare, but her sister was too busy making eyes at Tommy to notice. Sadie said something in Italian that made Tommy choke a little on his pasta. It was probably something totally inappropriate, Jude figured. If Sadie only knew what Tommy really liked....Jude had to kick herself, why couldn't she stop thinking about it?! Jude asked her Dad if he liked the wine Shay had brought and then instantly regretted it as Shay used the excuse to mention Tommy's age. Then he basically called him a has been. Even Sadie noticed the almost rivalry between them, although their parents were oblivious.

"So Shay what's next?" Sadie asked as she sucked up a few noodles in a seductive manner, hoping Tommy was watching.

"How about a world tour?" Tommy had been waiting for the opportunity to slide that into the conversation.

"There's no world tour." Jude said automatically before she turned her head to Shay. "Is there?" She asked confused now.

"They're still finalizing the details." Shay said looking uncomfortable.

"Tommy can we talk in the kitchen?"

"What is your problem?!" Jude said in a raised voice.

"Me? He's the one who lied to you!"

"Maybe he was just waiting for the right time to tell me Tommy."

"Jude when I was on tour there was a different girl in every city. Ask him about rule number one."

"Why are you doing this? I finally have a guy who likes me just the way I am. Why are you trying to mess this up?"

"I'm not Jude. He's just not the right one for you."

"You don't think I'm good enough to keep any guy interested? Is that it Tommy?"

"No! Of course not." He couldn't understand where that had come from.

"Right. Just not you." She couldn't believe she had said that out loud as she walked back into the dining room without waiting to see if he followed.

* * *

The dance was kind of lame, but at least Jude got to see Kat and Jamie. Shay had taught her to dance when he had taken her to some clubs, so she didn't feel like a complete idiot. He was surrounded by fans, adding to his theory that Jude had left normal behind already. Jude made Shay tell her the truth although he had been avoiding the topic. He was leaving in a week. She asked T-Bone about rule number one when Shay was called to rap on stage. Her heart sank into her stomach. Why couldn't Tommy have left things alone. Shay would have told her. Wouldn't he?

Jude was recording the guitar for her song, still distracted and confused. When Shay dropped her off the other night, things had been up in the air. She couldn't understand why he couldn't have just told her if he was going to dump her. Tommy called her name over the intercom and he pointed as she looked up.

Tommy and Kwest watched them talking through the glass. Tommy had been so sure they had finally broken up, but here Shay was again. As Jude's face grew lighter, Tommy's grew darker.

"Didn't you warn her about Shay?" Kwest asked.

"She won't listen to me." And Tommy really couldn't blame her for that. He turned his head away when Shay leaned over to kiss her.

* * *

They had been working on one of Jude's songs when Tommy had finally had enough. After the dinner at her house, things had been a little off between them and Jude seemed to enjoy defying him a little too much. She had just refused to try the bridge he wanted and he didn't know how much more he could take. Tommy stood up suddenly.

"Where are you going?" Jude asked stopping her strumming.

"I'm getting out of here. You won't listen and we obviously can't work together like this."

"You can't just leave! Georgia will think I did something wrong!" Jude said suddenly panicked. They had to have another song ready soon.

"I'll stay on one condition."

"What?!" She asked exasperated.

"Why did you come back that night? Really? I know you were drunk the first night, but..." She froze wondering how he could ask that. How could he bring this up now?

"You don't really want the answer to that Quincy."

"I think I do."

"You think wrong."

"Fine..." He started to get up and she gave in.

"I fell for you." She said without emotion, knowing now what it had been that had driven her back into his arms, even though she had not been able to identify it back then. She was right. He was half sorry he had asked, but the question had bugged him since almost the beginning. He tried to find the words, to dispel such a powerful statement.

"Jude...Sometimes...Sex and love get confused. But sex doesn't always mean more." Tommy tried to explain to her, knowing he was failing miserably.

"And sometimes it does. What do you do about it then Tommy?" Her blue eyes were intent on his, daring him to be honest and tell the truth. He was the one who wanted to play this sick game so she waited to see if he would continue it. She did not know if she was happy or sad when he wouldn't answer her.


	9. Chapter 9

_Here's the next chapter and FYI if you review I will post more quickly ;) And this is what you've been waiting for...Kind of...._

**Chapter 9**

It was a few days before Jude's sweet sixteen and she should have been ecstatic. Shay was flying in from his tour on her birthday just to celebrate with her and she couldn't wait to see him again. But as Tommy snapped at her once more from his position at the soundboard she sighed and started the last verse again. She couldn't understand what the problem was. They had been getting along great, but Tommy had come in this morning and in his eyes Jude could do nothing right. When she was on the phone with Shay he had snapped at her to get to work. As her voice faltered from overuse, Tommy made an exasperated sound and told her to take 10. She left quietly to get some tea and honey for her throat.

"Man are you alright?" Kwest asked as he watched Jude leave. "I know today's a hard day for you, but don't take it out on Jude." Tommy looked up at Kwest in surprise. Kwest simply shook his head and stood up himself.

"I'm getting a soda. You want anything?" Tommy shook his head and Kwest walked out. He took the necklace from his pocket and fingered it. Today was the three year anniversary of the death of the only girl he had ever loved and it had been his fault she had died. He thought about Kwest's words and realized his friend was right. He had been rough with Jude today, but it all started with the phone call. She had sounded so damn happy when that punk Shay had called, after that he had let his anger take over because it was easier than letting the pain and guilt in once again.

A mug of tea was set in front of him, startling him just enough to drop the necklace onto the floor. He watched as Jude bent to pick it up, reading the name Angie spelled out in charms. She handed it back to him wordlessly and took her own mug of tea into the other room. He was being a complete ass to her and she was still bringing him tea. Days like today he really believed he was a horrible person.

Later on Jude stopped Kwest in the hallway, after Tommy had gone into his office.

"Kwest you've known Tommy a long time right?"

"Yeah. Hey if it's about his pissy attitude, it's not you. He's just got some things going on..."

"No. It's not that...Well not exactly anyway." Kwest looked at her in puzzlement as Jude put her hands in the front pockets of her jeans and rocked back on her heels nervously.

"Who's Angie?" Kwest widened his eyes in shock. He hadn't heard anyone use her name in years. Sure he knew what today was, but he and Tommy never actually talked about it.

"Did Tommy say something to you about Angie?!"

"Was...was she his girlfriend?" Jude hated herself for needing to know, but when she saw the girl's name on that necklace today something inside of her had been twisted in knots. She didn't like to think about why she cared so much. She was over him, right?

"Something like that....Look Jude it's none of my business. If he wanted you to know he'd tell you himself." Not like that would ever happen. Tommy was the most private person he had ever met and this was a sore subject for him, for obvious reasons. She gave him a pleading look, but he would not relent. "Look don't ask Tommy about her. She's a bad subject for him." Jude nodded, still upset that another girl could affect Tommy like this.

.

.

Kwest, Tommy and Jude sat at the soundboard listening to the mix of Your Eyes minutes into Jude's birthday. Tommy absentmindedly traced the skin above the Converse sneaker, of the legs propped on his lap, as they listened for any flaws that they may have missed. Kwest noticed the almost innocent contact, sensing there was more there than either of them let on. Tommy's actions were hardly provocative, but yet there was something so intimate about the gesture. Maybe it was the fact that she accepted his touch so naturally, barely acknowledging his fingertips skimming along her skin. Kwest did a mental headshake. There was no way they could be involved, could there? She had just turned 16 a couple of minutes ago. Tommy thrust his empty mug at Jude, who took her feet off his lap to stand, shoving against his shoulder with her hip before heading to hospitality.

She walked into the room singing her song and bent over to inspect the mini fridge. Inside she found a small cake with a single candle in it, which she grabbed with a smile and as she got up, spinning around he was standing in the doorway. He tapped his watch as he walked towards her.

"It's 12:05. It's officially your birthday. Don't know quite what to get the girl who almost has it all. So tell me what you want."

"There is one thing. Shay's coming back tomorrow. Just for the day, for the party."

"Yeah. Counting the moments." He said sarcastically.

"See that. Why can't you guys get along? You both mean so much for to me. And I don't want to fight about it, anymore. Please"

"That's your wish?"

"Yes." She said on a soft breath.

"Okay. It's a deal." She gave him a big smile and they hugged. When she moved to plant a kiss on his cheek, for some perverse reason he turned his head and met her lips with his own. It lasted only a couple of seconds, but they both pulled back a little off balance. They walked over to the counter, both silent. They had gotten so good at this, ignoring the ever constant sexual tension as if they did not know one another intimately. In a smooth move he struck the match with one hand and lit the candle, impressing her with his trick. She blew it out without making a wish, handing him a fork and taking one for herself. They both dug in and the tension seemed to have faded as they shared the cake.

.

.

The following morning Tommy found Jude sitting in one of the alcoves of G-Major strumming her guitar, singing a song he had never heard.

"Is this a private concert?" He asked as he stopped in front of her. She stopped suddenly and looked up at him.

"No. Of course not." She said a little nervously, brushing her bangs out of her eyes.

"Don't stop. I like it. What's the chorus."

_Time to be your only one_

_Always be your way too young_

_Time to crash into the sun_

_Time to be your only one_

_._

"It's not done or anything, but I want to sing it at my party tonight. For Shay." There it was again, that gut twisting feeling he did not want to identify.

"Shay? It's your birthday...He should be the one..." She was going to speak, probably to defend the kid and he stopped her, not wanting to hear it. "You know what? Never mind. Got a second? Come with me."

"I kinda want to work on this." He turned back to her as he started to walk away.

"Fine if your don't want your real present from me..." She got up quickly, catching his jeans belt loop so he couldn't get away without her.

.

Tommy was sweating and his heart was racing and it wasn't from anything good. He had let this crazy girl drive his baby and could only thank God the Viper was still in one piece as she braked hard back on the parking garage roof. Maybe he could buy a little subcompact to teach her on, then at least his baby wouldn't be at risk. He gave her a fearful look.

"What? Just cuz I almost hit one dog?"

"No cuz the dog was on the sidewalk."

"I'm so bad." She laughed at herself. He liked how she could do that. Some of the women he used to date had egos bigger than his own and it was a definite turnoff. She gave him a small smile and contemplative look as she stared at him.

"What?"

"I miss this. Us hanging out."

"Me too."

"You're a pain in the butt Quincy. But there's not one thing I would change about you." She leaned over and found herself giving him a quick peck on the lips before pulling back. Their eyes caught, but before he could say anything her cell phone rang and she flipped it open immediately. She had been missing his calls all morning because of the stupid reception.

"Shay? Oh hey E.J. Emergency? What kind of emergency?" She looked at Tommy apologetically. "I have to go downstairs." He nodded and put his hand to her cheek for a brief second, giving her a slow smile.

"I'll see you later." She smiled back, before getting out of the car.

.

Tommy grabbed Kwest as he finished signing for some packages. They started down the hallway, talking as they went. Tommy told Kwest to start with 24 tonight and Kwest finally had more proof that something strange was going on.

"Yo yo holdup, holdup. You let Jude pilot your ride when I can barely scam shotgun. What? Now you're her party planner?"

"You got something to say, just say it."

"Well you wouldn't be the first producer to cross that line." And wasn't that the crux of it. There was no line, that hadn't be crossed, destroyed or mutilated already between Tommy and Jude, no matter how they pretended it was still there.

"I'm not even hearing this." Tommy said, trying to get away from Kwest's voice of conscience.

"Listen. I know you man. You're falling for this girl. Now I wouldn't blame you if you want to hit that in another few years." What was the point in telling his friend that he was much too late for this talk? That Tommy had started to fall before they supposedly ever met and taught her things no fifteen year old should know. And she had been an eager and apt pupil. Tommy felt like a lech at that thought.

"Kwest you think I'm okay with this? The coolest chick I know, the one who gets me the most is only 16. Give me a break man. She's out of bounds and I'm not that guy." Kwest gave him a strange look, but did not say anything. Tommy realized then what he had just said and how he had said something similar once before not that long ago. _"She's a really cool chick. There's something about her. She's different." _Kwest opened his mouth ready to speak, but Tommy interrupted. "Don't." He warned him with that single word.

"_She_ was Jude?" Kwest could not help but put that out there, the information was that stunning. Tommy just shook his head and walked away. "Jude...?" Kwest said again in disbelief.

.

.

That night Jude was introduced and appeared with the spotlight on her, dressed in emerald silk and high heels, her hair done up and her smile wide. Tommy could only stare as she did a sexy little spin and started down the stairs.

"Man you're screwed. Pick up your jaw." Kwest said in obvious amusement. Who knew a sixteen year old girl would be the one to conquer the impenetrable wall of Tom Quincy? Tommy shook himself, and his gaze could not help wandering back to her. He had tried to forget how mature she looked when dressed up. He had only been able to deal by thinking of her as a kid, but this was the woman she would become, he had met all those months ago. He gravitated towards her without conscious thought. As she neared the bottom of the steps, he found himself leaning over to speak into her ear.

"You look great" Her big eyes met his for a brief second and she smiled at him.

"Thanks...Have you seen Shay?" He felt something unpleasant in his gut and wondered again if it was jealousy.

"No..." She turned away then distracted by her parents who had come up to greet her.

.

Jude had been so excited when Shay had shown up. She hadn't seen it coming when he asked to speak to her alone. They walked into one of the conference rooms and he shut the door behind them. She had hugged him and kissed him, not noticing at first that he hadn't returned the pressure of lips. He kept trying to say something, but it did not make sense and he wouldn't look her in the eye. A feeling of dread settled low in her stomach.

"What did you do?" She asked out of a suddenly dry mouth.

"I kind of met someone." She heard the door slide open and called over her shoulder without looking.

"One sec."

"I told you to wait in the limo." Shay said looking past Jude as she turned to see her archrival and fellow finalist for Instant Star.

"Like I'm going to wait while you talk to your ex-girlfriend." Eden said. Jude looked back at Shay in shock before she stormed out into the crowd. Shay followed as she knocked over a tray in one of the servers hands drawing all the attention towards them. She pushed Shay away as he caught up to her and strode quickly to the next room.

.

Jamie and Kat, who had been making out in the room, were ignored as they had it out once again. He explained how Eden was the opening act of his tour. She told him to break up with Eden, that he had said she made him a better man. He said in turn that Eden made him feel cool just the way he was. She gave him once last glare before walking out into the next connecting room.

Tommy strolled in a moment later with his customary swagger.

"I'm impressed... at the way you manage to humiliate her in front of the press, her friends and her family." He said with hard eyes and a smirk on his lips.

"It wasn't like that. You never wanted us together from the beginning right?" Shay got up in his face as he said this.

"You do not want to be in my face right now." He warned.

"You were just waiting for me to mess up. Why are you so interested in being her hero St. Tommy?" Tommy wanted to punch the kid's lights out, but decided it wasn't worth it. Tommy adjusted the sleeve of his jacket and gave him a disparaging look.

"You're not worth the sweat." He brushed by him, making sure to push him back a step before leaving to find Jude.

He stepped out the door, into the pouring rain to see her standing there, silk dress clinging wetly to her body as she leaned against the railing. She only acknowledged him with a slight tilt of her head before staring off into the darkness. He took his jacket off as he made his way towards her, draping it around her slim shoulders as he drew close.

"Go ahead tell me I told you so." She said bitterly her voice filled with pain.

"For what it's worth Shay's a kid and an idiot and he made the wrong choice."

"That's not worth much coming from you." She directed a little bit of that bitterness towards him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm so tired of falling for guys that don't fall back... It hurts." And he knew she meant him too, but the truth was, he had fallen back, almost since they had first met.

"Jude I..."

"You all say the nicest things...You're so great...You're so nice... But none of you want to date me...So you wanna help me Tommy...Tell me what I do wrong...Tell me why I'm so easy to give up, so maybe I can fix it."

"You are asking the wrong guy!" He gripped her upper arms then and pulled her towards him, his lips melding to hers. When they stopped kissing, breathing ragged, he looked into her eyes. "You know exactly how much I want you." He pressed himself against her and she could feel his hard arousal against the thin barrier of her silky dress. Their faces were mere inches apart. They had been playing this game for so many months; she could only stare at him in shock. They flirted casually as if it was harmless and didn't mean anything, but both of them knew the truth.

"We can't..." She whispered.

"I know..." He said before she pulled his head down for another kiss. His stroking tongue and hard length against her belly made heat curl in her center. When they finally pulled apart again, he took her hand and started leading her down the stairs.

"Where...?" She asked breathlessly.

"My place."

.

She sat in his Viper, both of them dripping water onto his precious car and he didn't seem to care. He kept his eyes forward, trying not to stare at her, knowing he would wind up pulling to the side of the road if he did and fucking her right there. The sexual tension between them had been brewing for too long and he already knew how she would feel wrapped around him.

Jude was surprised when the car stopped; she had been staring so hard at the dashboard. Tommy got out and went around the car quickly. He opened the door and pulled her out. He pushed her against the car and pressed his lips against her bare throat. His body pressed against hers hard as the rain continued to drizzle down. His hands went to her waist and lifted her so she sat on the hood of the car, as he stood between her spread legs. His mouth found hers willing and reckless as she angled her hips to draw him closer.

"Not here..." He whispered against her lips. She drew her head back to look around, still a little dazed. Until this moment she hadn't known they were in the parking lot of his apartment complex.


	10. Chapter 10

SMUT WARNING!!! If you insist on reading anyway, **ENJOY**! ;)

Chapter 10

The front door banged hard against the wall as two entwined bodies shoved their way in. His lips had barely left hers long enough to insert the key into the lock. He kicked the door shut behind him and had her pressed against the wall. Her arms were wound around his neck and their mouths meshed together as if they were two desert survivors, with each being the cool drink of water. His hands went to her ass and raised the hem of her dress up. His fingers hooked through the string of her thong and pulled the panties down her thighs as far as his arms could reach. Using his foot he stepped on the crotch of them and pushed them the rest of the way down. His hand went to her damp curls and eased their way between the slick lips, pushing in with two fingers. She shifted her feet further apart to give him better access as his thumb caressed the nub hidden in the delicate folds, causing her to moan softly.

He felt her hands on his belt as she unbuckled it, fumbling a little. Her hands went to the button of his pants and she had them unzipped a moment later. His hand went to his back pocket for his wallet as she reached inside his dress slacks and touched him through his boxers, causing a small sound to escape from his lips. Her touch alone seemed to do that to him. He took the packet out of his wallet before letting it drop to the floor. She pushed down the waistband of his boxers and pants down, touching his arousal with feather light fingertips. He met her mouth hungrily again as his hands blindly pushed hers away to sheath himself with the latex. His hands reached underneath the hem of her dress again, grabbing her behind the thighs, lifting her up against the wall.

She braced her hands on his shoulders as he aligned his arousal to her wet opening and pushed the entire length of himself in, in one long thrust. A cry escaped her lips before he silenced her again with his mouth on hers. She was a perfect glove around him and he hesitated for a brief moment afraid he had hurt her. He pulled his lips away from hers and saw only the blue eyes he could not forget, even in his dreams, darkened with the passion he had inspired. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head in for another kiss that shattered his self control. He wondered where she had learned to kiss like that for a split second before his thoughts were stripped away by the feel of her wrapped around his body.

Tommy couldn't stop even if he wanted to, his hard flesh sliding into hers felt too good. Jude wrapped her legs around his waist as he shoved into her quickly with almost brutal thrusts, his need for her was so great. He felt her muscles tense as her arms tightened around him. There was a sharp pain on his lip where she had just bitten him before she threw her head back against the wall. His rhythm was erratic as he felt her contracting muscles squeeze him in the most erotic way. He quickened his pace and pounded into her, soon finding his own release. Tommy stood for long moments in the same position, pressing Jude against the wall, his body leaning into hers. Their mingled breath was uneven and the only sound in the otherwise quiet apartment.

He finally eased her down, her legs unwrapping from around him. He took her hand and led her into his bedroom where he proceeded to remove the rest of her damp clothing and then his own. She looked up at him, her eyes still a little dazed and he leaned in to kiss her lightly before leading her into the adjoining bath. His lips did not leave hers as he turned the shower on to warm their rain chilled bodies.

He was gentle as he smoothed the bar of soap over her body, making it thrum with want all over again. He did not take things further this time though, wanting a bed the next time they came together. They rinsed the suds from their skin and stepped out onto the bath mat. Tommy took a fluffy blue towel to Jude's body and dried the beaded droplets of water from her skin. He couldn't resist tasting her lips every now and then as he dried himself off.

.

He took her hand and pulled her, unresisting, back into his bedroom where he stopped them in front of the mirrored sliding closet doors.

"You're beautiful." He said from behind her as he watched her naked reflection in the glass. She shook her head and started to deny it, but he put his fingers to her lips to silence her. He slid the back of his fingers down her arm and then to the curve of her hip. She trembled as their eyes locked in the glass. His hand went up and stroked the tip of one pert breast causing her full lips to part in a soft breath. His body dwarfed her slender frame and she watched with fascination as he rolled her nipple between thumb and index finger. His other hand splayed low on her belly, his fingertips close to her lower curls as his mouth found her neck. His teeth raked along her skin, sending a shiver racing up her spine as his hand dropped lower to tease between her legs. She could not seem to look away as he played with her body, making her want him all over again. Her other breast ached for attention, which he soon provided by moving in front of her and dropping to his knees, his arms around her waist.

His mouth was hot as he took the aching nipple into his mouth, rolling the sensitive bud around with his tongue. He nipped lightly causing a gasp to escape her lips. He took his time tasting the sweet flesh before he went back to the other breast and did the same. Jude wanted more though, no matter how good this felt. Tommy as if sensing her agitation, started kissing the valley between her breasts and then making a trail down, to her belly button and then lower. Jude gasped as his mouth found her blond curls. His fingers spread her folds open so his tongue could flick at the sensitive nub in between them. She gave a small cry as he pushed a finger into her wet depths, his tongue stroking her.

"Tommy..." She begged, needing something she was still not quite familiar with. He looked up at her and her breath caught at the intensity of his gaze. He stood up slowly, letting his arousal brush against her leg, then her belly. He pushed her back, until her knees met with his bed.

He pressed her onto his new royal blue comforter, his hands cupped her ass as he scooted them both further back towards the pillows. And his mouth was on hers again, never before had he enjoyed just kissing a girl this much. He rolled them both so that their positions were reversed with her on top. She spread her legs on either side of him, straddling him, as she subconsciously rubbed her mound against his hardness, wanting him deep inside her.

"Jude..." He groaned before taking her hips to shift her away from him, before he lost complete control. She looked at him confused her mind hazy with need. He kissed her again as he reached for the nightstand and withdrew the foil packet. Slow comprehension came to her as she watched him roll the latex down the length of him. In another instant he pulled her back onto him, guiding his arousal to her entrance. She lowered herself onto him and she felt a sense of completion as he filled her. This was what she had not quite known she wanted. His arms pulled her down so her breasts were pressed flat against his hard chest. She experimented a little by rocking her pelvis against him, causing a groan to escape from his full lips. She grinned, figuring that was a good sign as she was the one who started the rhythm of their joined bodies. With the edge of hunger assuaged earlier he let her take control. Their lips melded together as she rocked against him.

Finally he couldn't take her maddening pace any longer and rolled so he was on top. He took her legs so they rested on the backs of his thighs and thrust into her. She cried out as he pushed into her again and again, not quite as rough as it had been against the wall, but close. Their eyes met as she raised her hips to meet his pressing body. She felt herself splinter apart as his mouth went to her neck to bite down gently. His continued strokes drew out the tremors of her inner muscles, making her clench tight against him. Her nails raked down his back as he quickened his pace and came, crying out her name. His ragged breath was hot against her ear as he collapsed onto her body. She felt a purely female satisfaction at the fact that she did this to him. It amazed her that this was Tommy in her arms when she had never expected it to happen again. When they both drifted to sleep her head resting on his shoulder, his arm curled around her waist, it felt right, to both of them.

.

Tommy spoke her name, but she did not want to wake completely from the drowsy half sleep she was in. His body felt so good against hers and for now she was simply content. She felt him sit up, the cool air now brushing against her skin. Awareness crept in, unbidden. She opened eyes to look up at him. He gazed down at her with a serious expression on his face, that she thought she understood. Her chest felt like there was a vice squeezing all the air out.

"I'm going to shower. We should talk when I get out." She nodded mutely, trying to hold it together long enough for him to leave the room. When he did and she heard the water running, she sprang out of bed. Jude picked up her bra and crumpled, hopelessly water stained dress from her birthday party and slipped them on. Her panties were still somewhere in the living room. She avoided looking at her own form in the mirror not wanting to see the pain seeping through in her eyes.

She walked out into the living room to use his kitchen phone so he would not hear her making a call. She waited impatiently as the company answered and she put in her request, glancing at the doorway constantly, hoping Tommy would not hurry. She made one more call to Kat to tell her she was coming over, so that her parents could pick her up from her house. Her friend had not asked questions when she had called her for an alibi last night, but she knew that would not last. As soon as she finished, she slipped on her heels and quietly closed the apartment door behind her. She never did find her panties, but found she didn't have the energy to care.

.

Jude waited impatiently for the taxi to show up, glancing back at the building constantly to make sure no one had exited. Had it been 15 minutes yet? She hadn't worn a watch last night. The yellow vehicle pulled up to the curb and she let out the breath she had been holding. As Jude started to get into the taxi, a hand on her arm stopped her. She looked up at him and cursed her bad luck. Why couldn't he have taken a longer shower? She hadn't needed to have that particular discussion again; the one where he claimed it meant nothing and sex was just sex. She couldn't bear it, not from him, not again. Her heart was already at the breaking point. She knew she hadn't loved Shay, but she had cared and her ego was already badly bruised. But it was Tommy who had the true power to hurt her and she was afraid to find out that he didn't care if he did. Her troubled eyes met his slightly angry ones.

"How could you leave without saying anything?"

"Let's just pretend we had this conversation Tommy." She said wearily staring down at his long fingers wrapped around her slim arm.

"What conversation?"

"We both know what you were going to say this morning. It never happened. You don't feel the same way I do. You felt sorry for me. It was just a pity fuck." He flinched at her words, practically stunned immobile. She wrenched her arm free of his grasp and closed the door, instructing the driver to go.

How could she have let this happen again? How could she believe even for a minute that he was going to admit he wanted her back the way she wanted him? He had said clearly that he didn't do relationships. She didn't know if she could face him everyday. She didn't know if she could work with him, despite how well they connected musically. She was in love with Tommy Quincy, former boybander and amazing producer. But he didn't love her back.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Tommy's car was parked on the street when Jude walked home from her photo shoot with Sadie. Jude had cajoled Sadie into going with her so they could have some sister bonding time. With Jude's career her Dad had said Sadie was feeling shut out. The photographer had asked Sadie out so Jude had bowed out of dinner with her sister, insisting Sadie go out with him. She had called into G-Major sick for two days and he had known immediately it was because of him, not because of Shay like everyone else thought. He knew it wasn't the tabloids with her public dumping by Shay bothering her, not that they helped her feel better about herself. When Jude had come back to work, she had barely looked at him and there was no way for them to be alone to have the conversation they needed to, with every eye on her.

With the tabloids coming out E.J. had scored her a gig with Under The Mike on Sunday and a photo shoot with Mizurra. Georgia had told her it would be the perfect time to write a song about her broken heart to capitalize on her newfound publicity. It was when Georgia had said she had to work with Tommy that Jude had started to crumble again. She had left without being able to come up with anything.

She saw the familiar blue sports car and frowned as he got out and headed towards her. She quickened her pace in a futile effort to get to her walk before he reached her.

"Jude I need to talk to you." He said as he got closer. She stopped and stared at him, shaking her head.

"Not now Tommy. I just want to go inside and forget everything." She pleaded with her eyes for him to just let her leave, and he found he couldn't stop her when she looked so sad. He watched her put the key in the door before he walked back to the Viper. She couldn't avoid him forever.

.

Jude opened the front door to the shock of her life. It took her a full thirty seconds for her brain to truly process what she was seeing. Her father was on top of some woman, who was not her mother, on the couch. She turned on her heel and fled, banging the door behind her, leaving her key in the lock.

As he got ready to put his car in gear Jude yanked the door open and jumped in.

"Drive!" She urged and he complied, pealing out at the panic in her tone. She looked even more upset now and he was silent, letting her calm down. He pulled the Viper into a spot at a park, she and Sadie used to go to as children, before turning to her.

.

"What happened?" He asked in concern. She shook her head wondering why there was no man in her life that could be trusted. Her father had betrayed her mother and their family. Is that what Sadie had been trying to tell her before? Shay had cheated on her with Eden. And Tommy....

He held her as she created salt stains on the worn leather of his jacket. Finally when her tears had dried up she pulled back awkwardly, realizing what she was doing and wrapping her arms around herself. He looked at her defensive posture in confusion as she shut herself off from him once again.

"I'm sorry....I didn't mean to break down like that...." She looked out the window, not seeing the scenic view before her.

"Jude about the other night..."

"Don't okay? I can't do this right now. It's alright. It's forgotten." She couldn't listen to him saying more words to break her heart. She didn't know how many more blows she could take. Her words were a punch to the gut. He didn't want to forget. What Jude had said to him the other morning before she had left him standing barefoot on the street, had hurt, because it had made him finally face what he had put her through, been putting her through. The fact that it bothered him this much that he had hurt her could only mean one thing. You never want to see the one you love hurting. And that's when he knew the truth he had been avoiding. That was the moment when he accepted the fact that he was in love with Jude Harrison and had been falling since he first laid eyes on her.

"I'm not forgetting. I can't. I don't want to Jude." She looked up at him in surprise with tears shining in her eyes. He placed his hand on the back of her head, tangling fingers in her fiery red hair and pulled her forward, tasting salty tears on her lips. She clung to him as she pressed her mouth harder against his. When they pulled back, their faces a mere hairsbreadth apart, Jude asked breathlessly.

"What are we doing?"

"I don't know. We'll figure it out." Tommy said with a smile on his lips. "But it did happen." She gave a small tentative smile of her own. He rested his forehead against hers and they stayed that way, just sharing in the presence of the other with no one watching.

Tommy asked again what had sent Jude flying out of her house and she told him. He was glad he was there to comfort her as saying it out loud had upset her all over again. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo as she curled into his arms.

"Do you want to go to work?" He finally asked. She shook her head.

"There's a song I want to write." Georgia had wanted a song about heartbreak and she would get it.

"Do you want to come to my place?"

"Yeah..." Tommy called G-Major and explained that he was going to work with Jude outside the studio today.

.

Tommy handed Jude his acoustic and put a notepad and pencil in front of her on the coffee table. He placed a lingering kiss on her forehead before straightening up.

"I'll be in the bedroom. Call me if you need anything 'k?" She nodded and gave him a small smile before she reached for the paper and pencil.

Three hours later Jude found him, napping on top of the covers. She got onto the bed and put her head on his chest. His arms wrapped around her and she felt like he was her only anchor in this messed up world.

She lifted her head to look up after awhile and met his eyes.

"Tommy...Are we...I mean are you still going to see other people?" She asked so seriously. For a moment he couldn't speak, only Jude would come out and ask something like that. He started to grin in amusement. She tried to lift her body off of his, but he held her fast. She gave him an angry and hurt look.

"Babe I haven't been with anyone else since we met." He admitted. Her eyes widened.

"But...That was months ago...."

"Trust me I know." He said in a self-deprecating tone. "Why do you think I practically attacked you in the doorway the other night?"

"Oh..." A smile started to tug at the corners of her lips. He pulled her up and met her parted mouth with his own.

.

On Sunday night in addition to the people from G-Major, Jude's parents, Jamie and Kat had shown up to show their support. The host introduced her and everyone watched as she walked up to him.

"Wild year for you so far. But what's been the craziest thing and did Shay make the list?"

"Yeah he was up there briefly. But like his music he lacks staying power." Tommy had to grin, that was _his_ girl up there. Jude said she was doing a different song when the host announced she was doing Your Eyes.

"Did you know about this?" Georgia asked Tommy. He nodded.

"Don't worry. It's good." They all watched as Jude started her never before heard song, Skin.

_I drift away to a place  
Another kind of life  
Take away the pain  
I create my paradise_

_Everything I've held  
Has hit the wall  
What used to be yours  
Isn't yours at all_

_Falling apart, and all that I'm asking  
Is it a crime, am I overreacting_

_Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie_

"Listen to her. He really broke her heart didn't he?" Victoria said concernedly to Stuart.

"Yeah. I think he did." The guilt was gut wrenching as Stuart responded, while watching his youngest daughter.

_So what you had didn't fit  
Among the pretty things  
Never fear, never fear_

"Wow remind me not to tick her off." Kat said as the lyrics showed how hurt Jude was.

"You mean like I don't know? Like having a secret love affair behind her back?" Jamie looked down at her seriously. "No more lying Kat. We're the last people in the world who should be doing this to her."

_I now know where you've been_

_Braids have been un-tied  
As ribbons fall away  
Leave the consequence  
But my tears you'll taste_

_Falling apart and all that I question  
Is this a dream or is this my lesson_

_Oh, he's under my skin  
Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie_

_I don't believe I'll be alright  
I don't believe I'll be OK  
I don't believe how you've thrown me away  
I do believe you didn't try  
I do blame you for every lie_

Tommy's heart hurt as he listened to Jude's voice start to crack at the emotion coming through. He watched as her pain filled eyes met her father's.

_When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine_

_Oh, he's under my skin_

_Just give me something to get rid of him  
I've got a reason now to bury this alive  
Another little white lie_

Oh my permission to sin  
You might have started my reckoning  
I've got a reason now to bury him alive  
Another little white lie

After Jude finished Skin, she went to her dressing room, unable to look at her father for a second longer. She heard the knock on the door and opened it to see Tommy staring at her with concern in his eyes. She moved to one side so he could slip past her and shut the door behind them.

"How are you doing?" He asked gently. She took a step closer and he wrapped his arms around her as she leaned against him. His hands rubbed her back soothingly as she clung to him.

They heard a knock on the door and sprang apart. He went to sit on the couch and she at the vanity table.

"Come in." Jude called. Stuart walked in and Jude turned to stare at him. Stuart took in Tommy's presence in the room.

"I need to talk to Jude alone Tom. You mind?" Tommy got up and left, closing the door behind him.

Tommy came back in after Stuart left. He took in her mascara stained cheeks and held his arms out for her once again.

"I told him he had to tell my mom." He nodded and stroked her hair. "Can we go somewhere for a little while? I'm not ready to go home yet." She asked.

"Of course." He said softly.

.

Jude walked up to her parents, meeting Stuart's guilty eyes.

"You did great tonight. You ready to go home honey?" Her mother asked.

"Um actually is it alright if Tommy drives me? He's gonna take me out for ice cream." Victoria frowned.

"I don't know Jude you have school tomorrow...And I don't like you being alone with him."

"I need to unwind Mom and we'll be out in public. Right Dad?" She gave him hard eyes daring him not to take her side.

"Let her go Vicky. She deserves a little down time."

"Thanks Dad." Jude said, and only Stuart caught the slight tint of sarcasm coming from his daughter's lips before she spun to meet Tommy outside.

"Not too late." Victoria called to her retreating figure.

.

They parked at the park again, in a spot that was not lit by the streetlamps, and stared at the stars overhead. Jude slid over as far as she could and pulled Tommy's head down for a kiss. Her hands went to the snap of his jeans when he stopped her. She pulled back and looked at him in confusion.

"Jude are you sure? You've had a rough night."

"Make me forget them Tommy. At least for a little while?" She pleaded. He couldn't say no to those big eyes begging him, not that he really wanted to either. He drew her in for a kiss, his tongue tangling with hers as his hands worked their way underneath her shirt. His thumbs skimmed underneath the underwire of her bra and she pressed against him wanting more contact. They pulled apart and got out to move to the back seat. It was a good thing the Hummer had tinted windows.

Tommy pulled her shirt off and then his own. His mouth went to the exposed skin of her breast, his fingers fumbling with the hook of her bra. She giggled, at his inept hands and took care of it herself exposing the tightened nipples to his gaze. He took her breasts into his hands, thumbs stroking her nipples as his mouth found her neck. Jude moaned at his touch, wanting more. Her hands went to the button of his jeans and undid them before pulling the zipper down.

"Tommy hurry. My parents are going to wonder if ice cream takes too long." He had to laugh, never before had a woman asked him to quicken his pace. Of course he only ever took this much time with Jude. His partner's pleasure had not always been on his top list of priorites. She unfastened her own jeans and pulled them off along with her panties as he took care of his own. Her arms wrapped around his neck as she pulled him in for another kiss. His hands cupped her ass as he pushed her down onto the seat. He stopped and reached for the tangle of clothing on the floor, searching for a minute before he found his own jeans. He took the condom out of his wallet and quickly put it onto his hard length. Jude pulled him down again, rather aggressively, before she attacked his mouth with her own. She was trying to drown out all the thoughts crowding her head and only his touch could seem to do that. He placed his hand between her lower lips and slid a finger along the slit, spreading her moistness along the delicate folds. She involuntarily raised her hips to meet the fingers that were suddenly pressed inside of her.

"Tommy..." She pleaded. He removed his hand and his tongue thrust into mouth, mimicking the actions of his lower body. She cried out against his mouth as he filled her completely. He gripped her hips with his hands, pressing into her in the most delicious way before withdrawing until only the tip of him remained, before thrusting into her warm depths again. Her legs wrapped around his waist, as he plunged into her quickly. He soon felt her splintering around him, as her muscles squeezed him tight. His pace quickened as he sought his own release. She kept her mouth locked on his as he cried out his own pleasure. He collapsed against her, and she let her legs fall to the seat, their limbs still tangled.

"I always wondered why people would have sex in a car." Jude said out of the blue.

"You are a piece of work Harrison." Tommy said as he gazed down at her. He got up after only a few minutes. Although roomy the Hummer had his legs bent at odd angles. "Before I forget to tell you. You did good tonight." He kissed her softly, before they proceeded to get dressed.

"Thank you for being there this week." She said as they drove the short distance to her home.

"Anytime." He squeezed her hand and she smiled at him, even though there were still shadows in her big blue eyes.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

During lunch a few days later Kat and Jamie finally cornered Jude who had been preoccupied with work, her mother kicking her father out of the house and Tommy. The three friends sat at one of the outdoor lunch tables. Jude was running through lyrics in her head. _Time to dream that love will last. Time to drive my car too fast. _Tommy had promised to give her another driving lesson, albeit reluctantly. Jude was starting to learn exactly what buttons to push with him though and found the power heady.

"We have something to tell you." Kat said. Jude snapped out of her reverie and looked at them expectantly.

"Kat and I. Well we've become a 'we'." Jamie added and took her small hand in his.

Kat rolled her eyes at Jamie.

"What he's trying to saying, badly I might add, is that we're dating." Jude looked at them in surprise for a moment, as she processed their news. She had had no clue that this was going on. Had Jude become so self-absorbed in her new life that she had missed the signs of her two best friends hooking up? She thought about it for a few seconds more before her face brightened and she smiled.

"That's great." She stunned Jamie and Kat with her genuine enthusiasm. It must be true that people who are in love, want everyone around them to be happy too. Of course her friends had no idea Jude was seeing anyone. Shay had just supposedly broken her heart after all.

"Wow..." Kat said.

"What?"

"We thought you'd be kind of upset." Jamie said now a little uneasy himself. Jude was way too happy for them in his opinion.

"No. I think it's great my two best friends are together." Jamie was actually a little disappointed that Jude seemed to be completely okay with this. His feelings for her were still confused, even though he claimed to be over Jude.

"I heard you were auditioning back up bands too." Jamie brought up the second reason he had wanted to talk to Jude.

"Um yeah..."

"You should check out Spiederman's new band. They're actually coming together, under my sterling management. Surprisingly..."

"Say no more..." Jude said. "I'll see what I can do." This girl in front of him looked like Jude and sounded like her, but she was so Zen like Jamie was worried she was going to crack. Jude had never been one to hold anything in. She had just been dumped in public by her first boyfriend and it was all over the tabloids, yet she seemed okay with it. Her father had also just been forced to move out after confessing to her mother about his infidelity. Jude had always turned to Jamie when things got rough, but he hadn't really heard from her since he had tried to steal the newspapers from her front door the morning after her humiliation. She had to still be upset, her performance the other night confirmed that.

When Jude strolled off, humming a tune, leaving them alone, Jamie looked at Kat in disbelief.

"Am I the only one who thinks that went too easily?"

"Well...She seems happy for us."

"Does that sound like Jude to you? There's something wrong with this picture." Kat shrugged helplessly. She wondered if it had to do with whoever Jude had stayed out with on her birthday. She was happy for her, if her friend had indeed found someone.

* * *

Jude sat next Tommy at the soundboard watching him work on her song after school that same day. They had sent Kwest off for some fast food about 20 minutes ago. As soon as Tommy finished one part he dropped his pen on the floor deliberately and when Jude leaned over to pick it up, his lips pressed against hers in a drive by kiss, before he straightened. He licked his lips, tasting the lip gloss she had put on and grinned at the slightly stunned Jude. They had agreed to no PDA in G-Major.

"Mmm...Cherry." She blushed at the intense look he gave her.

"Tommy?" Her fingers made a slow trail up his arm.

"Yes Jude?"

"I need a favor." He looked at her expectantly, letting her tease him with her touch. "Jamie has a new band he wants to audition."

"Jamie?" Tommy rolled his eyes. He had never liked the kid, something about the puppy dog looks he gave Jude had always rubbed him the wrong way. When Jude had told him Jamie was dating her other friend Kat he had been surprised, because it was obvious to everyone but Jude that Jamie was in love with her. She gave him a cute frown and he sighed. "Is that what you really want?" She nodded and shot him a sweet smile, before Kwest interrupted, walking back in with two McDonalds bags in his hand. Kwest handed one of them to Tommy before sitting down and pulling two Big Mac's out and then two large fries. "Tell him to come by tomorrow morning and I'll talk to him."

"Thank you." Jude could only stare at the amount of food Kwest had in front of him and he caught her intent gaze on him after taking a big bite of his burger.

"What? I was hungry." She smirked at him and turned to Tommy who was busy taking the food out of the other bag, giving Jude her fries and bacon cheeseburger. Jude unwrapped her sandwich and proceeded to take the bun off to remove the pickles which she then handed to Tommy without thinking about it. He took them and popped them into his mouth without missing a beat. Kwest stared at the interaction, more suspicions racing through his mind. Regardless of whether or not Tommy had a thing for Jude he was not a relationship kind of guy, not since Angie anyway. Kwest was starting to get a headache at his own thoughts. He crammed a handful of fries to his mouth automatically as he threw surreptitious glances at the two people in the room with him.

* * *

Two soft hands, distinctly feminine, covered Tommy's eyes as he sat at the soundboard working on Jude's music. He stiffened immediately, because the perfume wafting off this mystery girl was not the scent he had grown to love.

"Guess who." He turned in his swivel chair, forcing her hands to drop to his shoulders instead. Sadie gave him a sexy little pout as Kwest watched them silently.

"Hey Sadie..." Tommy said warily. Jude had gone off into his office to do some homework and he was afraid she would pop out at anytime. "What are you doing here?" Sadie rolled her eyes.

"Mom insisted I pick Jude up. It's such a drag carting my little sister around." Tommy didn't like that piece of news. Sometimes the only time alone he and Jude got was when he drove her home. Sadie's eyes took on a predatory gleam as she stared at Tommy. "Maybe we can finally go out again sometime." Sadie said coyly, batting her blue eyes at him, a small sexy smile gracing her lips.

"Look Sadie, you seem like a nice girl..." He untangled her arms from around him. "But I'm already seeing someone." Sadie frowned. He must have just met this mystery woman, because he hadn't mentioned her when they had gone out after the dinner with Shay. And if that was true how could he already be that committed to her? It's not like he could have been with her that long.

"Oh... I didn't know." Kwest watched the scene play out quietly. Sadie left them, her cheeks tinged pink with embarrassment.

"You're seeing someone?" Kwest asked once she was gone from sight.

"No..." Tommy lied. "I was just trying to let her down easy."

"Why? She's hot and she wants you... and she's legal. Why wouldn't you be interested in her?" Tommy just gave him a look that had him shaking his head.

"You're not still hung up on Jude are you?" Tommy took a beat too long to answer.

"Of course not...."

"You were telling Sadie the truth. You are seeing someone." Tommy didn't confirm his friend's suspicions, but couldn't seem to deny them either. "Man you better be careful...If her parents find out..."

"I know."

* * *

As Sadie drove Jude home in her lime-green VW Beetle she turned to look at her sister.

"Do you know who Tommy's girlfriend is?" Jude just looked at Sadie blankly, so Sadie rolled her eyes. "Why am I asking you? Like he would tell you anything personal."

"He said he had a girlfriend?" Jude's insides grew warm. Sadie rolled her eyes again.

"He told me he was seeing someone. Weren't you paying attention? Anyway have any girls come by G-Major looking for him?" Jude shook her head. Tommy never invited women to work even if there was one. "I used my best material on him." Sadie wailed in confusion. "I can't believe he met someone so fast. I mean that date wasn't more than a month ago."

"Date?"

"Oh...Tommy thought you'd be upset, so we didn't tell you. You aren't are you?" Sadie was oblivious to the thoughts flitting through Jude's eyes as she shook her head.

* * *

The following morning Jude brought Jamie in to the studio to meet with Tommy. Jamie had his chance with Tommy and for Jude's sake Tommy had given SME a chance to work on their music. He let them have studio C to rehearse and almost regretted it.

Georgia and Tommy had just come from another round of auditions, with no luck, when they heard the noise masquerading as music coming from said studio. Georgia was getting antsy since Jude needed a band for her live mall radio concert the very next day and they still hadn't found anyone hopeful. They stopped to listen and Georgia complained about the migraine she was getting from whoever was in Studio C when Jude came up behind them listening as well.

"Maybe they need to sing a different song." She contemplated for a second. "A better song. A song I wrote." Jude said excitedly. She hurried towards the doorway as Tommy called after her.

"Jude you're not serious."

Georgia and Tommy listened from the doorway. Although the band was rough, they seemed to mesh well with Jude as well as being the same age. Jude had found her 'bonafide garage band' as Georgia had called it. She looked up and grinned at Tommy who could not help but grin back. They needed work, but seeing the smile on her face was worth it after all the hurt her family life had been causing her.

* * *

Jude came in after school to find Tommy in the hospitality area, excitement brimming in her eyes as she grabbed his hand. He pretended reluctance, but the truth was he would have followed that perfectly curved ass anywhere. She pulled him into his office, shutting the door behind them where she took her acoustic guitar out of its case.

"I take it you have something to show me?" Tommy asked with amusement as he folded his arms in front of his chest. She sat on the edge of his desk, adjusting the strings.

"What haven't you seen?" She gave him a pointed look that had him coughing. "So I changed that song I was working on, on my birthday a little, but I finished it."

"The one for 'Shay'?"

"It's not about him anymore." His lips curved as he looked at her. With a grin on her face she started playing.

_You never lied to me not once  
Its not your fault that I can't trust  
Its in my past, its in my path and I can't go there  
Making a mess out of this game  
To see it all go up in flames  
So tired of being ruthless and reckless_

_Time to be your only one  
To almost be your way too young  
Time to crash into the sun  
Time to be your 21  
Time to dream that love will last  
Time to drive my car too fast  
Time to walk before I run  
Time to be  
Ohh time to be your 21_

_I don't believe in love and I  
I pull it to the wall  
I tasted sweetness there to laugh so hard as it falls  
And I could push you there if you don't stop me  
Push you there if you don't stop me  
Please stop me_

_Time to be your only one  
To almost be you're way too young  
Time to crash into the sun  
Time to be your 21  
Time to dream that love will last  
Time to drive my car too fast  
Time to walk before I run  
Time to be  
Ohh time to be your 21_

_Its gut wrenching sometimes  
Its life threatening sometimes  
Seems like nothing can wash it all away_

_Time to be your only one  
To almost be you're way too young  
Time to crash into the sun  
Time to be your 21  
Time to dream that love will last  
Time to drive my car too fast  
Time to walk before I run  
Time to be your 21_

_Time to be your 21_

As she finished Time To Be Your 21 his eyes scanned her face. She put the guitar down on the visitor chair and waited for his reaction. Okay so he had innocently said one late night with her that it would have been so much easier if she were older, then he wouldn't have had to drive her home, claiming it was just another late night recording session. She apparently had not liked that comment.

"Are you mocking me?" He finally said teasingly.

"How could I possibly do that?" She asked innocently. He gave a growl low in his throat and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her into his chest.

"Because I couldn't wait." His teeth found the delicate shell of her ear as he bit down softly. This was so wrong, but she felt so right in his arms. His hands cupped her ass, as he lifted her back onto the desk. He stood between her legs, and drank in her mouth. She pulled him closer with her arms around his neck, wrapping her jean clad legs around his waist. His insistent arousal pressed against her through the denim of their jeans. He thrust against her, driving them both a little mad, the friction making her whimper against his mouth. The rubbing pressure had her gasping against his lips, until she let out a tiny cry. He drew back from her swollen mouth and looked at her with a glint in his eyes.

"Did you just....?" She could see the amusement lurking in that sapphire gaze. He knew exactly what he could do to her.

"I..." Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink, as she caught her breath. "I hate you Quincy." She said without heat as she pushed him back and moved away from him.

"Jude." He reached for her hand, but she slipped out of his grasp. "Jude what about me?" He said with the faint tint of desperation, his arousal still straining against his jeans.

"I thought we had to be professional at work." She blinked at him with her guileless blue eyes, and he wondered how she could still pull that look off; the look of a beautiful red haired angel. Jude Harrison was no innocent, not anymore, thanks to him. She gave him a small grin as she grabbed her guitar and opened the door to leave his office. He fell back onto the visitor chair, wondering how he, the man who had spent years avoiding complications and entanglements, found himself loving every minute of the ones he found himself in.

* * *

They were at his apartment, in one of those semi-regular times when Victoria was out of town for work. Jude had told Sadie she was staying over at Kat's to work on a history paper, not that her sister really cared. They sat together on his leather couch, a movie in the DVD player that hadn't been turned on yet, legs resting on his lap.

"You never told me you went out with Sadie." Jude said in a too even voice, that Tommy did not trust for a second. He knew her well enough to know she was not the most rational creature, even on a good day. She was fire and passion and there wasn't a single thing he would ever change about her, well except maybe for her age.

"Uh...Jude it's not what you think." The expression on his face was priceless and she couldn't help the grin that leaked out.

"I was just asking Quincy. You don't have to look so terrified."

"I'm not." It came out on a croak, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "I mean I only went out with her to get away from your Dad that night you had your school dance."

"Oh...Did you have a good time?" He blinked at her, unable to get a fix on her mood. Was she upset or not?

"It was alright." He said warily as he eyed her. She twirled a loose strand of hair in her fingers.

"Sadie would be upset to hear that. I mean guys usually fall at her feet." He did not trust the glint in her eye.

"Are you actually upset over this?"

"Sadie said, you said, you had a girlfriend." Tommy relaxed. She had been teasing him all along and he had fallen for it.

"She, unlike you, is resistable." Tommy said drawing her onto his lap. Her insides grew warm, even though she didn't show her weakening state. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck.

"Is resistable even a word?"

"You're a songwriter. Since when has that ever stopped you?"

"True..." He caught her gaze.

"Sadie's a pretty girl. I won't deny that." Jude stiffened in his arms, but he would not let her get up. "But you are the one I took home that night. I didn't even notice her in the bar."

"Does that mean you like me more than Sadie?" Jude teased.

"I like you more than anyone." His mouth hovered a hairbreadths away from hers. Neither of them closed the distance, until Jude shifted her butt on his lap and he couldn't help but brush his lips against her full ones. She deepened the kiss and he soon shifted her so she was lying underneath him. He had not forgotten earlier when she had left him hanging. Of course it was true he should never have started anything at work either.

He made short work of her shirt and bra, his lips finding the aching nipples. He pulled back just long enough to remove his own shirt, his chest pressed to her belly as he teased her breasts with his mouth, taking all his skill to make her moan. His tongue made a trail down her chest to her belly and his hands went to her jeans to undo them. As he slid the denim down her legs his mouth hovered above the fine satin covering her. She shivered as he blew on the thin fabric. His fingers hooked under the string of her panties and slid them off of her slowly. As she raised her hips to help him, he placed a small kiss on her curls, but went no further. His thumbs skimmed her inner thighs as he spread her legs to his gaze.

Jude screamed out as his tongue lapped once over the length of her nether lips. She was already wet and open to him, but he seemed to be taking his time. Finally she felt his mouth take her clit and suck, causing her to buck against him.

"Tommy..." She moaned as his tongue swirled and stroked over her clit. His hands went to her ass to lift her against his mouth. She breathed shallowly, unable to bring enough oxygen to her lungs, as he tormented her swollen flesh with his mouth and when she felt her muscles begin to tighten he stopped suddenly and let her fall back onto the leather. She looked down at him in confusion as stood up and started to take off the rest of his clothing.

"Did you really think I'd forget about earlier?" Tommy asked with a grin as he slid his pants off. It took Jude a moment to process his words past the haze of lust, but when she did her own lips curved in a wicked little smile.

When he started to lean over to cover her body with his own she shifted off the couch, letting him fall onto it. He turned to see what she was up to and her hands went to his chest to push him back. Her mouth closed on his rock hard arousal before he could even blink and at that point he could no longer find the will to protest their sudden reversal of roles. She took him deeper into her mouth than she ever had and her hand encircled the base of his shaft so when she began to move up and down it felt like, she had taken all of him into her lips. As her head pulled back she started a sucking motion that had him groaning as his fingers tangled into her hair. She bobbed her head up and down on his erection, his breath growing ever more erratic.

"Oh God...." He panted. "Jude stop...I'm going to..." With her other hand she squeezed his balls as she sucked on his shaft. He thrust up in an involuntary motion as he pumped his pleasure into her mouth. She pulled back, kneeling before him, her bare ass resting on the pads of her feet and Tommy watched her lick her still glossy lips.

"Where did you learn to do that?" He asked suspiciously; no woman had ever done that to him quite like that.

"I read..."

"What exactly have you been reading?" She just gave him an enigmatic smile as she slid up his body to place her lips against his. His hand fisted in her hair again as he kissed her, tasting his own salty fluids on her tongue. It wasn't long before she felt his erection pressing against her belly. Jude found herself suddenly on her stomach, against the cool material of the couch, as he had somehow flipped their positions. Tommy had one hand on her back holding her down as he slid a condom on. His hands went to her hips pulling her up so she was on her knees, ass in the air.

Jude felt the tip of him grazing her entrance and she tried to push back, but his arm snaked around her belly holding her in place. The fingers of his other hand slid through her downy curls and found the kernel nestled among her folds. As his callused fingers stroked she gasped. Without warning he thrust into her in one smooth motion, causing a cry to escape her lips, as his fingers continued to work on her swollen flesh. She came almost immediately, squeezing his cock tightly, but he was not done with her yet.

He pushed in and out of her in one continuous motion, stretching her inner walls as he pressed himself deep inside. Jude braced herself on her arms as he pounded above her, her mouth biting at her lower lip to keep from screaming out loud. When his fingers found her clit again she did cry out and her convulsing muscles caused him to quicken his pace, his mouth biting down on her shoulder as he too felt the rushing wave of sensation focused on where their bodies joined. He cried out against her skin as the orgasm shot out of him on every last thrust.

Tommy rolled off of her and pulled her down to his side. They lay there silent, Jude's long hair sticking to his sweaty body. He thought he could feel the pounding of his heart and was amazed all over again that he had found someone who could do that to him. He smoothed the fiery strands from her face and kissed her forehead. She curled more fully against him, placing her palm on top of his pounding heart.


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

_The song in this chapter is Addicted by Saving Abel_

**Chapter 13**

As Tommy was setting up at the makeshift soundboard for Jude's concert at the mall that day, he saw the gangly form of Jude's best friend.

"Spiederman's not here man. Sent him out to get guitar strings." Tommy called to Jamie who was looking around in front of the stage with an upset expression on his face. "You alright man? If you need to talk...I guess I could listen." Tommy felt a slight bit of pity for the kid, knowing exactly how hard Jude was to give up. Jamie walked up to the sound booth reluctantly. He and Tommy had never really liked one another.

"It's just....I'm worried about Jude and Kat doesn't understand why I'm spending so much time worrying about her."

"What's wrong with Jude?" Tommy asked. Jude seemed okay to him.

"That's exactly it. She's acting completely out of character. You know her Dad moved out right?" Tommy nodded. "Well between that and Shay she should be flipping out, at least a little, but she's been so calm it's kind of scary." Tommy wanted to chuckle. Jamie had no idea how hard Tommy had had to work to slake Jude's nervous energy.

"I don't see the problem. If Jude seems okay maybe she is. And shouldn't you be worrying about your girlfriend? I can see why Kat would be pissed about you obsessing over Jude when she isn't even asking for your help."

"I'm not ob..." Tommy held up his hand.

"Come on Andrews. You're supposed to be over Jude."

"I am. Sorta...Kind of.... Not even remotely." Jamie wailed with his face in his hands. "God. This can't be happening. Not now. Not when I'm supposed to be with Kat."

"Supposed to? You got to want to be."

"I do. I adore Kat."

"Then there's your answer man." Jamie's digital watch started going off and he looked down at his wrist in panic. "Oh my God I'm so late." Tommy shook his head as he watched Jamie run off. He would have to warn Jude not to send off any mixed signals to Jamie. The kid was obviously still infatuated with her.

As show time drew closer, Tommy spotted Stuart Harrison in the crowd. He frowned, and headed backstage to find Jude. He knew she hadn't spoken to her father since he had left the house. There were people milling around so he couldn't pull her in for a hug, no matter how much he wanted to. She had obviously seen her father in the audience out there.

"What am I going to do Tommy? I'm not ready to talk to him." Jude said in a panicked voice as she paced back and forth. He put a hand on her arm to stop her movements and caught her eye.

"I'll take care of it. Just breathe Jude." She gave a short nod and he walked back out to find her father.

"Stuart I don't think you being here is a good idea right now. She needs to be able to concentrate."

"She told you didn't she?" Tommy simply nodded.

"Give her some time. She's stubborn. You know she won't listen to you until she's ready." Stuart nodded reluctantly.

"I know she looks up to you. Watch out for her Tom." He said before walking away. Stuart's words made Tommy question again, if he was really what was best for her.

.

* * *

Jude and Tommy sat in his Viper at the park again. Sometimes this was their only alone time and they savored the solitude.

"Why do you straighten your hair?" She had her hair back in curls for her concert that day and it reminded him of the first night they met.

"I like the way it looks. Why?" She asked curiously.

"Because I love doing this." He said tangling his hand in her curls and pulling her in to meet his lips. "Can I persuade you to leave it the way it is?" Tommy whispered against her mouth.

"Mmm...I think if you try really hard you could." His mouth moved to her throat leaving a trail of kisses along the soft skin.

"Like this?" He asked before sucking on the delicate flesh.

"Mmhm. It's a good start." She murmured before she gasped at the pressure of his teeth on her.

* * *

After school one day Jude dragged Kat to a drug store near Carson Hill. Kat looked at Jude strangely as she picked up tube after tube of lip gloss, inspecting the name of each, holding on to the ones that met her approval. Sure Jude wore makeup, but she was no Sadie, who had an actual vanity table in her room full of the stuff. Jude grinned, kiwi-strawberry, would Tommy be able to guess that one? She had already gone through all the ones she had owned and he had gotten only 2 wrong.

"Jude talk to me. Who is he?" Jude looked over at her friend, snapped out of her reverie.

"Huh?"

"Tell me what's going on Jude. The truth this time. You're forcing me to lie to my boyfriend, your other best friend." Kat said. Jude debated the wisdom of telling her, but she had been lying for her for all this time and maybe she deserved to know. Kat gave her a stern look and Jude finally sighed.

"You know the guy I met that weekend I won Instant Star?"

"Yeah....Are you seeing him again? I thought it was only that weekend."

"Well....That's where it gets kind of weird. When I walked into G-Major that Monday he was there."

"What?! And you didn't tell me?! Who is he?!" Jude had never said it out loud to anyone before.

"You remember asking me if I thought Tommy would be a good kisser?" Kat's eyes grew wide as she started to wheeze. "Kat are you okay?" Jude asked in concern as her friend started to hyperventilate. Kat held up her hand when Jude tried to pat her back.

"Tommy freakin Q?!" Jude ducked her head and nodded. "And you didn't tell me?!" She asked her next question in a hushed hiss. "Did you.... Did you sleep with him?"

"That's why I couldn't tell you Kat. I was only 15 when it happened. He could go to jail for that. No one can know Kat, promise." Kat nodded. "Besides we agreed to pretend it never happened. So I tried to forget about it."

"Then what happened?"

"My birthday..." Jude had never been one to share her most private emotions, and her sex life now that she had one, but she told Kat how she had stayed over at Tommy's that first weekend and how he had asked her to come back. Then she told Kat about her infamous birthday. When she finished Kat just stared at her with her mouth agape. "Kat you can't tell Jamie. He wouldn't understand." Kat nodded dumbly. She knew very well that Jamie still had a thing for Jude and this kind of news would devastate him.

"I never thought you'd be the first." Kat finally said.

"What?"

"To lose your virginity." Jude started to blush and Kat had to give her a big smile. "So do you...Do you like it? I mean I heard the first time can really hurt." Jude gave a secretive grin that had Kat raising her eyebrows. "That good?" Jude nodded.

"It's him Kat. I've never felt like that with anyone else I've ever met." Kat had reservations, but she did not voice them because her friend looked way too happy. Tommy Quincy did have a reputation as being a ladies man and he was so much older than Jude. He was always in the tabloids with one model or another on his arm, at least he had been before. "I love him." Jude had never said that to anyone other than Tommy before and found herself wishing, not for the first time, that she didn't have to hide their relationship from the rest of the world.

"You love him..." Kat said softly. "Does he...I mean has he said..." Jude nodded and gave her a smile that lit her eyes. Kat shook her head in amazement. "Little Tommy Q?!" They both cracked up at the way she said that.

.

* * *

Jude was so not happy as she made evil eyes at Tommy who had been smart enough to hide in the studio. He could see her clearly enough as she stood in the common area where E.J. bawled her out. This was all his fault!

"How could you change your hairstyle without my approval and what is this?!" E.J. yanked at the gauzy scarf wrapped around Jude's neck, which Jude put her hand to, to hold more securely.

"I'm just trying to change my look a little..." Georgia came out of her office then hearing the commotion and interrupted E.J. before she could continue her tirade.

"Leave her alone E.J. I think she looks good." The other woman spun on her heel and walked off in a huff. "So? Who is he?" Georgia asked grinning at Jude.

"Who?" Jude said with apprehension.

"Jude I know it's been a while since I've been a teenager, but come on...You're not exactly the scarf type...Unless you're hiding something under there." Jude looked over at Tommy in desperation.

"Just a guy at school...Um I gotta go. Tommy needs me." Georgia looked on with amusement as Jude rushed into the studio.

Jude shut the door behind her and glared at her boyfriend. He just stared at her with a nonchalant expression on his face.

"You!" She stabbed a finger into his chest. "So owe me." She poked him again. Her death look soon switched to one of laughter though as her lips twitched, because honestly Tommy Quincy trying to appear sweet and innocent was so bad. Knowing he wasn't achieving the look he wanted he changed tactics.

"What exactly is the problem Harrison?" He said coolly as he removed her finger from his chest.

"I love your curls Jude. How can I convince you to leave them alone? Oh and this!" Jude said as she pulled the fabric from her neck to show him the dark stain against her pale skin. He winced at the mark, so he had gotten a little carried away. "What happened to keeping it below the neck?! Now Georgia thinks I'm hooking up with random guys!"

"What do you want?" Tommy folded his arms over his chest and waited for her reply.

"Wait...What?"

"What can I do to fix this and make you happy?" She got a gleam in her eye, that had him regretting his question immediately.

"Anything?" He nodded warily. Jude turned her head to make sure no one was walking by, before her hand shot to the front pocket of his jeans.

"Whoa! Are you crazy?!" Jude rolled her eyes as her fingers fished around.

"Relax your virtue is safe with me." She pulled the keychain from his jeans and dangled them in front of his face. Tommy's face turned a shade paler as he shook his head in denial.

"Nooo....Not that....Please Jude...." He begged. They both looked up as they heard the door open. Kwest came in and gave them a questioning look.

"Are those....?" He asked as he saw the keys in her hand. She nodded with a grin on her face. "Wanna give me a driving lesson Kwest?" She dangled the keys in front of him. "Tommy doesn't think he can teach me...." If anyone taught Jude anything it would be Tommy.

"Sure. I always like a ride in the Viper." Kwest said as Tommy stood suddenly. Tommy gave his friend one final glare, before he grabbed Jude's hand and dragged her out the door, leaving Kwest's laughter in their wake.

.

* * *

When they came back 40 minutes later Tommy looked a little shaky as Jude happily strolled in and plopped in a chair. Kwest eyed his friend with amusement as he seated himself.

"How'd it go?"

"Great! I think I'm getting the hang of it." Jude said and Tommy could only glance at her askance.

"You almost hit a nun."

"I did not! Besides she was in the street. And she was worth 500 points." Tommy thought his mouth was open, but he couldn't seem to form words as he stared at her. Kwest burst into laughter again as Jude wrinkled her nose.

"Was I really that bad?" She asked worriedly. Tommy finally shaken out of his slight daze, put his hand on hers.

"We'll work on it." That was the moment Kwest knew his friend was truly whipped.

.

* * *

"Listen to this. Eden cancels concert due to emotional distress. Claims Jude Harrison is stalking her." Jude said as she flipped through the tabloid. She looked up at Tommy with outrage. "What is up with psycho Barbie. I mean she got Shay. Why can't she just leave me alone?"

"She's desperate for attention. I mean I'd say her 15 minutes are almost up." Jude pouted and Tommy had to grin at her. "I have something that might cheer you up." Tommy reached for the guitar in the corner and sat down next to her.

"You wrote a song? Why didn't you tell me?!" Jude asked excitedly. Tommy simply looked at her until she shut up and then he started to strum the guitar.

__

I'm so addicted to all the things you do  
When you're going down on me in between the sheets

"What?!" Jude interrupted in shock. Did he really just sing...? Tommy stopped strumming and gave her a look.

"Do you want to hear this song or not?"

"What else are you addicted to?" Jude asked in a low voice that had him grinning before he resumed playing.

_All the sounds you make with every breath you take  
It's unlike anything when you're loving me_

Oh girl let's take it slow  
So as for you, you'll know where to go  
I wanna take my love and hate you 'til the end  
It's not like you to turn away  
From all the bullshit I can't take  
It's not like me to walk away

_.  
_Unnoticed by the couple who only had eyes for each other, the door swung open and a man leaned against the jamb listening to Tommy sing.

_I'm so addicted to all the things you do  
When you're going down on me in between the sheets  
All the sounds you make with every breath you take  
Its unlike anything when you're loving me_

_Yeah_

_And I know when it's getting good  
For the times we spent trying to make this love  
Something better than just making up again  
It's not like you to turn away  
From all the bullshit I can't take  
Just when I think I can walk away_

_I'm so addicted to all the things you do  
When you're going down on me in between the sheets  
All the sounds you make with every breath you take  
It's unlike anything  
I'm so addicted to all the things you do  
When you're going down on me  
All the sounds you make with every breath you take  
Its unlike anything when you're loving me_

_Yeah_

_When you're loving me_

_How can I make it through all the things you do  
There's just gotta be more to you and me_

_I'm so addicted to all the things you do  
When you're going down on me in between the sheets  
All the sounds you make with every breath you take  
It's unlike anything, Its unlike anything  
I'm so addicted to all the things you do  
When you're going down on me  
All the sounds you make with every breath you take  
Its unlike anything  
I'm so addicted to you  
Addicted to you_

"So what do you think?" Her smile was bright as she looked into his eyes and as she opened her mouth to speak, was interrupted by clapping. They both turned in surprise to see the man standing there, a stranger to one of them, and the past for the other. They both wondered how much he had heard and how he would interpret the song.

"That was great Tommy. I didn't hear you were planning to restart that solo career."

"Tom...I told him you'd be busy." Georgia said apologetically as she walked in behind him.

"You look good T. Older but good. Do you have a second?"

_._

"Is that who I think it is?" Jude asked as she, Kwest and Georgia watched the man and Tommy speaking in the sound booth.

"Yep. Chaz Blackburn. Boyz Attack's own. He and Tommy were like brothers until Tom quit to go solo." Jude actually knew some of this from Tommy, but still...Wow...They each grabbed some popcorn from the bowl Kwest held as they watched the drama before them unfold.

"Okay talk." Tommy said to Chaz, still a little stunned by his presence in his life.

"I do bookings now for Music Helps. It's a televised benefit."

"I know what it is. You want Jude go talk to her." Tommy said impatiently.

"She's not the only one that I want. You always wanted the chance to go solo and I'm offering you that chance. If what I heard today is any indication you're ready to get back behind that mike. Nice song by the way. A little risqué to sing to your teenage artist though." Chaz said smugly.

"It's just a song." Tommy said with a hard set to his jaw.

"Sure..." Chaz nodded and Tommy looked at him warily. "Just think about it."


	14. Chapter 14

_Happy holidays everyone! I thought I'd post as a little present. ENJOY and don't forget to review!_

**Chapter 14**

"What do you think?" Jude asked Tommy about the benefit as they walked back to his office.

"I think it'd be great for _you_ Jude. Just watch Chaz the guy's always got an angle."

"Well you're going to be doing it too right?" He scoffed. "Oh come on Tommy it's one song for charity. Show me the dancing." She teased. She loved the idea of performing with him.

"I haven't performed in 5 years I'm not about to start now." They entered his office and he shut the door behind them.

"What are you scared?" He scoffed again.

"No." He mumbled unconvincingly. Jude's eyes softened. He looked so cute and unsure of himself.

"Tommy that is so adorable." She wound her arms around his neck and rubbed her nose to his.

"Look producing is a fulltime gig. I don't really have anything I can use. I would rather yodel than perform Boyz Attack."

"So use one of my songs. They're as much yours as they are mine." He grinned suddenly and it had her looking at him warily.

"You think I should do Addicted?"

"Yeah...Nice try Quincy, but I don't think Addicted is meant for public consumption, unless you plan on telling the world you like how your 16 year old artist gives you head." They both knew Jude would not take it well if Tommy said it was about anyone else and the press would be sure to ask.

"Ohh....Harrison so tempting." His hands went to the bare skin showing at her waist. After all this time she still didn't seem to be completely aware of how appealing she was to him, at least he didn't think she was anyway.

"You and me on the same bill. You know you want to." She said the last part cajolingly, knowing the way she said it would get to him. She grinned as she tilted her head up to meet his lips in an unhurried kiss.

* * *

Jude, Kat and Jamie sat in Jude's living room watching the news as they finally had a chance to hang out. Tommy was busy producing another band, so Jude had called her friends over. She hadn't had much of a chance to spend any time with them and found she had missed them.

"Uh Jude..." Jamie interrupted Jude's tirade about Eden's tabloid story. "Jude. Satan and a half talk channel 8." They watched as Eden mentioned the duet Jude had supposedly asked her to perform with her on Music Helps. Jude immediately reached for her cell phone.

"Who's she calling?" Jamie asked Kat as they watched Jude in the dining room.

"Probably Tommy." Kat said unthinkingly.

"What can her producer do?" Kat shrugged.

"He's her musical support." Jamie knew that all too well, ever since that first show at the Vinyl Palace.

"Yeah I get that." He said a touch too bitterly for even Kat to ignore. She stared up at him, but he was lost in his own thoughts and did not notice.

* * *

"A duet?!" Jude wailed as she paced around Tommy's office.

"Look the dueling pop star bit. It's the oldest PR trick in the book. I'm calling Chaz." He would not let anyone use Jude. "I told you that guy's always got an angle. I'm pulling us both." He reached for the phone, but she put the receiver back before he could make the call.

"So she can tell the whole world I punked out. No way." He waited for her to continue, with arms folded over his chest. "I've been thinking about this. I got a plan." She explained what she was thinking and looked at him expectantly. "Well? What do you think?" He nodded his head reluctantly.

"It could work....but watch out. Eden's not exactly a girl scout."

"More like a talentless skank." Jude muttered under her breath.

"Jude Harrison....And here I thought you were a nice girl." She smirked at him.

"I used to be."

* * *

They had a meeting with Chaz and Eden the next day. Jude sat on the conference room table and pitched her idea to Eden as Tommy sat behind her paying more attention to her jean molded butt than was strictly necessary as he sipped at his mug of coffee. He knew his girl had Eden in a stranglehold. Jude was a rising star and Eden's 10 minutes were almost up. Even opening for the Shay tour had not boosted her record sales as much as she had hoped. The public did not care much about she and Shay as a couple either. Jude had just told Eden she wanted a public apology at the concert and Tommy watched on in amusement as Eden balked at the idea as he knew she would.

"Forget it. I'll just go on solo. " She turned to Chaz who sat behind her on the console. " Right Chazzy?"

"Sorry doll the bill's full. No Jude no dice." Chaz said insincerely. Tommy rolled his eyes and drank some more of his coffee. Eden being Eden would not admit defeat gracefully. She had nothing on the 16 year old before her, who could show so much poise it sometimes blew him away.

"Fine. I'd be happy to you over-dyed sore loser."

"Thank you. You cradle robbing boyfriend stealer." Chaz couldn't miss the wince Tommy gave at Jude's words.

"Done. We'll uh announce it at the press conference. They'll eat it up." Georgia said to diffuse the tension. When the others left the room Tommy stopped Jude from walking out too.

"Did you have to call her a cradle robber?" He asked her a little sarcastically.

"Sorry....It just came out?" Jude said trying hard not to laugh. She knew he was sensitive about the whole age thing.

"What am I going to do with you?"

"You'll find something." Tommy blinked. Did she just wink at him? She took his mug before he could stop her, and sipped his drink.

"Ugh...How much sugar did you put in here?" She wrinkled her nose.

"You know I like things sweet." She raised her eyebrow at him skeptically.

"Really?" There was no way he was going to tell her the truth. That she had distracted him while he was making his coffee, by flirting with one of the interns. There was only so much ammunition he could give her. Jude shrugged and thrust the cup back into his hands before walking out with an extra sway in her hips.

* * *

Tommy stopped at the curb in the Viper and Jude turned to smile at him. She squeezed the hand that had taken hers, not wanting to leave his presence, but she had homework and he could be distracting. And her mother would get suspicious if she was never home on time.

"Call me later?" She asked and he gave her that adorable shy little boy smile she loved so much, before nodding his head.

"You should go." Jude sighed and got out, slinging her book bag over her shoulder. She gave him one more look, before shutting the car door. He waited until she got to her front door before he took off.

As Jude started to put her key into the lock, the door opened to reveal Sadie.

"Hey..." Jude said as her sister moved aside to let her in. Sadie followed Jude into the living room and Jude turned back to stare at her in puzzlement.

"I thought Tommy was hot n heavy with some girl. How come he has time to drive you home every day?" Sadie asked her as she threw her bag onto the couch. Jude shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "Is he still seeing her?"

"I don't know Sadie. I think so. He doesn't exactly talk about his love life to me." Jude was so tired of Sadie going after Tommy and not being able to tell her the truth.

"Does he seem into her?"

"Sadie leave him alone. He has a girlfriend! There are a million guys who would love to date you. Why do you have to go after my...producer?!" Jude finally snapped at her wide-eyed sister.

"You like him." Sadie finally whispered in realization, in response to Jude's over the top reaction.

"I...Yeah...I like him okay? He's...an amazing producer." Jude looked away from her sister, praying her eyes didn't hint at the truth. It wouldn't exactly come as a surprise to Sadie that Jude had a crush on the entirely too hot Tommy Quincy. They worked so closely, it was almost a given Jude would fall for him, at least that's what Jude hoped Sadie would believe.

"Jude...You're too young for him." The sudden sympathy in her sister's voice almost undid her.

"I know...I'm just a kid." Jude said softly as guilt overwhelmed her. She hated lying so much. "I'm gonna go to my room. Call me for dinner?" Sadie nodded and let her sister leave without comment.

* * *

The press conference for Music Helps did not go as planned for neither Jude nor Tommy. Instead of the tolerance Jude expected Eden managed to insult her more and Tommy had to grab her by the waist to hold her back from doing damage to Eden's plastic face. He told her to show her up by outsinging her at the benefit and smile and say 'anything for the kids.'. In the next instant though it was Jude who had her hand on his back to center him as Chaz pulled his next stunt. Instead of Tommy being introduced as a solo act, the backdrop had been pulled down to reveal the rest of his former band and the long awaited reunion of Boyz Attack was announced. Tommy held a tight smile as the press took the media shots and Jude placed her hand on his shoulder, repeating his own words back to him. Her touch was the only thing keeping him grounded unbeknownst to his former band mates who were busy smiling for the cameras.

When they got back to the studio it was a different story though. Tommy was understandably angry at Chaz who had come after him. He tried to convince Tommy that everyone in the band needed the publicity, not all of them had been doing as well as Tommy had. They argued until Jude intervened.

"Okay, okay. Can I just have him for one second?" Jude said to Chaz before pulling Tommy to one side.

"Can you stop freaking out for 5 seconds and think! This is not about reliving your dorky past. It's about changing it." Tommy shot a disgruntled look past her at Chaz who stood below them at the bottom of the stairs. His gaze drifted back towards her as he tried to process her words.

"What are you talking about?"

"You're a producer, so produce. Show them a Boyz Attack you can be proud of. If I can suck it up to Eden you can suck it up to Chaz." Her hand grazed his as he looked into her eyes. He turned to Chaz below them.

"One song. Our last...one."

"That's all I'm asking." Chaz said.

.

Jude had just put a tea bag into her mug when she heard her name being called. She turned to see Chaz Blackburn walking towards her.

"Hey Jude." She bit back a sarcastic retort at the hated phrase. She didn't know this man well enough to snap at him. Chaz put his hands in his jacket pockets and gave her a bashful smile, she wasn't sure she bought. "Thanks for convincing Tommy to do this." They stood in the common area of G-Major and Jude wondered what he was still doing here.

"No problem. But it wasn't for you." He nodded acceptingly.

"So you and Tommy are really close." Jude tensed slightly, but realized he couldn't possibly know the truth. He might have suspicions, but Tommy had only sang a song after all. That didn't necessarily mean anything.

"He's a great producer." Chaz brightened at those words as if hearing the answer he wanted.

"So are you busy tonight?" What did he just say?! Chaz knew she was only 16.

"Are you asking me out?"

"Why is that so surprising? You're a beautiful, talented girl."

"I can't..." Jude realized she had been so insulated in this world of G-Major she hadn't been in contact with a lot of guys who would have wanted to date her and she wasn't sure how to say no.

"I understand." Chaz smirked. "Tommy wouldn't approve huh?" Jude simply stared at him with a penetrating gaze.

"I don't think my parents would actually. I'm only 16."

"I forgot that. You seem older somehow." He observed as he looked her over. She shrugged, not knowing whether that was a compliment or not.

"I'll see you later Jude." He gave her a smile as he started to walk away.

Jude walked into Studio B and sat down beside Tommy who working on one of her tracks. When he finished what he was doing he finally glanced over at her, knowing she had something to say.

"Chaz asked me out." Jude said still a little surprised. Tommy shook his head, not nearly as angry as she thought he'd be.

"He's just doing it to get to me. He suspects something's going on between us. You know that."

"What no one is allowed to want me but you?" Jude asked indignantly. Tommy shrugged and looked at her. Yeah he could see Chaz going for Jude, her long hair, big eyes, luscious mouth and that misleading air of innocence. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair as his mind wandered to her other assets, his eyes drawn to her chest. He shook himself, knowing he couldn't focused on that at work.

"He used to like them young and drunk. I guess he hasn't changed much." Jude smirked at him, until he realized what he had said and to whom he had said it.

"I'm Chaz!" He put his heads in his hands and groaned while Jude tried to hold back a snort of laughter. He looked up at her with a grimace on his face. "I'm having a crisis and you're laughing at me. Nice Harrison."

"You're an idiot Quincy." She drew closer, her knees bumping against his. "Since when have you wanted me because I was young?" He had simply wanted her period, since they had first met and wanted her more with every moment they had spent together. Their fingers linked underneath the soundboard as their eyes held a silent communication.

* * *

Jude stood on the stool in front of the mirror they had dragged from Victoria's room into the living room, as Kat did a few last minute touchups to the dress she had created for Jude to wear for the event.

"Try not to move. I don't want to stick you." Kat was intent on the dress as she adjusted a fringe here, a ruffle there.

"So how are you and Jamie?" Jude asked trying to breakthrough her friend's uncharacteristic pensive mood. Kat looked up finally and caught Jude's eye.

"We broke up."

"What?! But why?! I thought you two were doing good."

"He's in love with someone else. I thought I could change his mind, but I was wrong." Kat said matter of factly, flooring Jude.

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Come on Jude you've been so self absorbed in your own world. When was the last time we talked?" Kat reached for her bag of supplies and started stuffing her loose things into it. Jude stepped off the stool and went over to her friend.

"Kat...." Jude touched her friend's arm. "I'm sorry I've been wrapped up with my stuff...But I'm here now. Want to talk?" Kat looked up at her with pain filled eyes.

"Who do you think Jamie's in love with Jude?" Kat picked her bag up and walked out, leaving Jude standing there still processing her news.

.

Sadie came downstairs then, in an indecently small blue Boyz Attack tee, humming Put Me Back Together Again.

"I can't believe Boyz Attack reunited. I never thought it would happen!" She said excitedly as she bounced around exuberantly singing the song badly off-key now. She stopped when she saw the expression on Jude's face. "What's wrong sis?"

"Sadie do you think Jamie likes me?"

"Like, he's in love with you and wants you to have his babies, like?" Jude looked at her like a deer caught in headlights. Sadie sighed and glanced at her sister more closely. She had to admit her sister was good looking, but her sister didn't seem to be aware of the effect she had on boys. "Jude, Jamie's been in love with you like forever. I think you're the only one who never saw it." Jude bit her bottom lip nervously. Tommy had warned her, but she had laughed it off, now she had to face the truth and she didn't know how to fix things.

Chaz found Tommy the next day and urged him to the open room Georgia had lent them to practice. When Tommy tried to hand Chaz a copy of the remix of Put Me Back Together Again he had made, Chaz had been so excited about practicing he'd blown it off. That would be a portent of the storm that would soon come. Jude had followed them into the room simply watching as Chaz turned the music on and the Boyz minus Tommy started doing the dance moves straight from the 90's video. She tried hard not to laugh as she leaned against the wall and held her stomach. She could tell from his tense shoulders and cutting words that her boyfriend was not happy at what Chaz was trying to do. After harsh words between the both of them, with Tommy basically telling them not to embarrass themselves like this and Chaz saying what a loser Tommy was for abandoning the band in the first place, things just got worse. Tommy told them the reunion was a bad idea and Chaz said they would do it without him.

Jude followed Tommy out, but did not speak, having never seen him quite this angry before. They went into his office and when she shut the door behind her, he grabbed her by the waist and his lips were pressing down upon hers. She did not protest the intrusion of his tongue or his fingers that had wandered to her breasts, caressing her through her shirt. Her acceptance of his anger undid him and his lips softened on hers. He simply held her then, resting his head against her shoulder.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly and he nodded as he inhaled the soft scent of her hair.

* * *

The concert came upon them quickly and as Tommy had half suspected would happen Eden did not give Jude the much anticipated apology during the introduction to the event, instead she had insulted her calling her a loser. They exchanged more words, until Jude had had enough.

"Good luck hitting my high notes." Jude said sarcastically before storming off. There were other things on her mind, such as the realization that Kat was hurting, no matter how short a time her and Jamie had been dating. Jude being Jude had an impatient need to fix things between them right away and left the studio.

.

Strangely enough it was Sadie who finally got Tommy to change his mind about performing with the band again. She had been one of his biggest fans and appealed to that side of him, telling him there were a lot of people who would be disappointed in his lack of appearance on the show.

Tommy had not seen Jude run off originally and it was Georgia who had pressed him to find her as Eden performed alone onstage, butchering Jude's song. Tommy winced as she missed a particularly difficult note. He thanked his lucky stars yet again that Eden had not been the one to win Instant Star. He called Jude's cell phone worriedly, leaving a text message, not having seen Georgia so upset, ever.

Jude made it back with barely 10 minutes to spare, before the final act of the day, Boyz Attack. She had made up with Kat at her work; a little donut stand at the local mall, and promised to spend that night eating ice cream and watching chick flicks with her.

"Where have you been?!" Tommy said a little too loudly causing her eyes to widen.

"I had to talk to Kat."

"Doesn't matter. New plan." He grabbed her arm and pulled her backstage where the Boyz Attack members were waiting. Tommy had made up with his old band while Jude had been away and she widened her eyes in surprise as he told her she would be going on with them, all of them.

"Seriously?" She asked still flabbergasted. Jude Harrison and Boyz Attack, singing to the new arrangement Tommy had made.

In the end the song went amazingly well, showing more maturity and depth by the old band than had been present 5 years ago. Jude had been able to highlight her amazing singing voice, bringing Eden's own performance to shame. She had gotten such a kick out of singing with Tommy and wished it wouldn't be the only time. As they finished the song Chaz and Tommy had bonded a little. They stood up from their stools and Tommy put his arm around Jude as they got ready to take their bows.

"Admit it. You loved it didn't you?" She whispered to him. He gave her a cute grin as he whispered back.

"Anything for the kids."

* * *

After the show Tommy and the Boyz Attack members agreed to meet up for drinks. Chaz had asked Kwest to come along, having known Kwest from the old days when he had been a roadie for them. Jude had told Tommy she would be busy that night anyway with Kat, trying to patch their strained relationship.

"Your girl's got quite the voice." Chaz commented as he took a drink of his microbrew. They sat side by side at the bar, watching the girls flirting with the other band members.

"She's not my girl." Tommy denied automatically.

"Come on Tommy I've known you a longtime. The only other woman you ever looked at that way was Angie." Tommy's hand tightened involuntarily on his own glass at the mention of Angie. She was a past he avoided whenever possible, but Chaz had known her back then too, and he couldn't escape that fact. "Don't worry about it. I won't tell anyone. It's none of my business." Chaz said nonchalantly. Tommy knew Chaz meant his words, but he also had a big mouth sometimes. Too many people knew as it was, in Tommy's opinion. How long would it be before the wrong person found out? And what would it do to Jude's career if it ever got out that she was involved with her much older producer at the age of 16? The publicity might be good, but would mothers let their daughters buy her music after something like that? Chaz changed the subject after that and they talked for a little while longer catching up and talking about old times, although the doubts never left Tommy's mind completely.

Kwest sat down next to him, after leaving Sean and J.P. flirting with some Boyz Attack fans.

"What's up man? Did Chaz say something?" Kwest looked over at his friend's troubled face.

"He knows about Jude or at least he thinks he does." Kwest whistled through his teeth.

"Shit. How did that happen?" Tommy was quiet for a long moment and took another sip of beer before replying.

"I wrote her a song and he heard me singing it to her."

"You're writing again?" Kwest asked in amazement. He had been there when Tommy's solo album had been shot down by Darius years ago and Tommy had been pretty traumatized by the whole thing. Kwest hadn't heard about Tommy working on his own music since. "I don't get it. What's the big deal?" Tommy looked a little embarrassed at that point and Kwest could only stare at the uncharacteristic face his friend was making. "Don't tell me it was about sex. Cuz I really don't need to hear that about Jude."

"It could have been interpreted as sexual." Kwest just shook his head, not for the first time wondering what Tommy was doing with her, not matter how well they connected, musically anyway. Kwest would not let himself think about the other aspects of their relationship, because Jude was definitely not one of Tommy's nameless girls and after all these months of working with her, he had grown to really like her. Kwest could only watch as Tommy signaled, for yet another beer.

Although plenty of women had come up to Tommy, he had blown them all off, preferring to simply drink and hang out with his old band. Kwest could tell Chaz knowing about Jude bothered him as he drank more than usual and later had to be driven home. By the time they all left late that night, Bruno and Chaz each with a woman on their arm, most everyone was plastered.


	15. Chapter 15

_I forget who it was that asked for some drama, but here it begins. As I've stated before reviews make me post quicker._

**Chapter 15**

Kat left Jude's house late that night after three movies and two pints of ice cream. Jude wasn't sure their friendship was repaired, but it was a start. Kat had talked about Jamie a little and Jude didn't know if she should avoid him for a while just to let things blow over. He was her oldest friend and next door neighbor after all. Jude walked up the stairs to her room and whipped out her cell phone after she shut the door behind her. She wondered how Tommy's night had gone and whether or not he and his band were still getting along. They had seemed okay after the show, but there was a lot of old history there. She got comfortable on the bed as she waited for him to pick up.

Tommy had just made it into his apartment with Kwest supporting him, when his cell phone rang. He fumbled for a moment to get it out of his jacket, before flipping it open.

"Yeah?" He slurred a little as he heard her voice. She, the source of his torment and the one person he cared about more than anything.

"Tommy?" Jude asked a little concerned at the way he sounded. Tommy sat down heavily on the couch and looked over at Kwest who was preparing to leave. "Hold on." He called to Kwest.

"Is somewhere there with you?" Jude said in a small voice, her mind unwilling to process the implications. He made a rash decision right then.

"Thanks for bringing me home." He said in a low soft tone that had Kwest looking at him like he had grown two heads. No man had ever spoken to him like that! He could see how it charmed all the women Tommy slept with though, but he had to control an impulse to punch his friend.

"I'm a little busy Jude. I'll talk to your tomorrow." He flipped the phone shut and sighed heavily. Kwest looked at his friend and shook his head.

"Don't do it like this man." Tommy looked up at him bleary eyed, the edges of pain hurting him as he had just hurt her. "If you don't want to be with her, just tell her. Don't make her think she means that little to you though. Don't make her believe she isn't enough. Did you forget Shay just did the same thing you're pretending? That's heavy for one girl." Tommy could only stare at him, his eyes racked with grief at what he had just done. Kwest sighed and put his hand out. "You want me to call her back?" Tommy waited a long moment before he silently handed him his cell.

Jude picked up immediately, Tommy's picture on the screen. She wasn't sure what to think anymore, and she hurt as if someone was pulling her apart from the inside out.

"Tommy?"

"Jude. It's Kwest."

"Kwest?" She said puzzled now. "_You're_ the one there with him?"

"Yeah. He had a little too much to drink, so I brought him home." Then why had he deliberately made her believe he was there with a woman?

"Oh...Okay..." She said through an impossibly dry mouth. "Um...Thanks for bringing him home...I guess I'll see you Monday..."

"Jude don't you want to talk to him?"

"No..." Kwest heard the dial tone and shook his head at Tommy who had been watching him.

"If you break up with her. Do it face to face. She deserves that much." With those final words he headed for the door. Tommy buried his head in his hands. He didn't want to break up with her. He wanted to hold onto her forever, but in his life he had learned the things he found the most precious never lasted. Wasn't he just speeding up the inevitable by breaking her heart now? His motives, however Kwest might interpret them, were pure this time. He wanted to protect her and that scared him, that he could put her before himself.

When Kwest left, Tommy tried to call her back, but she didn't pick up. He finally curled in a ball on the couch and passed out with the phone still clutched to his side.

* * *

Jude ignored every one of Tommy's calls the following day. She stayed in her pajamas all day long, eating the leftover Ben & Jerry's and staring at the T.V., although she had no idea what she had watched. She had picked up her guitar earlier and strummed aimlessly, before finally giving up. Her mind was so jumbled she couldn't even think about writing a song. All she could do was think of the phone call. Did Tommy not want to be with her anymore? Had he grown bored of her? It was true she didn't have his level of experience, but she thought he was happy. She was too inexperienced with relationships and didn't know what was going on, but she couldn't talk to him. She knew if she did she would start crying in front of him and that would show him what a baby she really was. She had had a hard enough time convincing him she was mature enough to be in this relationship. And the hardest question of all, if he didn't want her, could she let go of the man she loved so much? She fought back tears again as she watched the screen through blurry eyes.

Sadie walked into the living room and stared at her sister with a confused look on her face.

"Since when is an infomercial worth crying about?" Jude shrugged and curled her knees more tightly to her chest, never taking her eyes off the screen.

"The dogs look so sad all crated up." Sadie rolled her eyes. Jude's thought process could be really out there sometimes.

"I'm meeting up with the girls at the mall. You interested?" Jude shook her head and finally looked up at her sister.

"Sadie can I ask you a hypothetical question?"

"Sure....What's up?" Sadie down beside her an looked at her inquisitively. Jude gnawed on her bottom lip as she tried to formulate the words without giving too much away.

"You've dated a lot of guys right?"

"I guess..."

"What if you were seeing someone..."

"Are you dating someone?!" Sadie interrupted, a little surprised, since Jude had not seemed interested in anyone since Shay.

"No!" Jude said a little too loudly, but her sister failed to notice. "It's...it's Kat. She's kind of seeing this guy."

"Wow didn't she just break up with Jamie?" Jude nodded.

"Can I ask my question now?"

"Oh right...Shoot."

"Say you were dating this guy and you call him one night and he kind of blows you off, implying he's with a woman. But then it turns out he was only trying to make you think there was a woman there. What does that mean in guy speak?" Sadie thought about it for a few minutes.

"There was definitely no woman?" Jude shook her head. "Then I'd say he was trying to get you to break up with him."

"Really?" Jude asked in a hollow voice.

"Yeah guys are stupid like that. It's like they don't want to have to deal with all the heavy emotional stuff, so they put it on you and somehow it lessens their guilt, even though they're the ones who might want out of the relationship." Jude's mind was reeling by now. She had never thought Tommy could be like that. "Are you seeing someone Jude?" Sadie asked again a little suspicious now. "Is it Spiederman?"

"Huh?" Jude asked absentmindedly.

"I see how he looks at you when you practice together."

"No." Spied and her were buds. He didn't look at her in any special way did he?

"It's not Jamie is it?!"

"No! I would never do that to Kat. There isn't anyone! I've been so busy finishing my album, it's not like I have time to meet anyone."

"True." Sadie stood up then. "I should go. Sure you don't want to tag along?"

"No thanks." Jude barely acknowledged her sister leaving. What Sadie said made sense, even though she didn't want to accept it. She didn't know how. When Shay had broken up with her, she had been upset and sad at being rejected, but he had hardly mattered compared to Tommy.

* * *

The next day was the photo shoot for her album cover. Jude had made sure to get there just in time, so that Tommy would have no chance to pull her into his office to talk. If he wanted to break up with her, she wasn't ready to hear it yet.

Tommy saw her walk in, looking young in her denim jacket and tight jeans, and so beautiful, but before he could go to her, E.J. got their first. She pushed Jude towards the conference room as he watched them. Jude had her eyes fixed ahead, she would not let herself look around for him. Tommy followed hoping in vain that he could somehow talk to her, but when he neared the doorway he could see she was occupied with a guy with scruffy dark hair, in his twenties. They were talking and smiling at one another, standing a bit too close for his liking. Jude was not the type of girl who would use someone to make him jealous was she? He clenched his fists as he debated whether he should go over there.

"Hey Tommy, Georgia wants to see you in her office." E.J. came up to inform him. He gnashed his teeth as he reluctantly walked away, leaving E.J. to wonder what was bugging him.

"Jude Harrison, funny seeing you again so soon." The man in the room said with a smile as he walked up to greet her.

"Hey...Simon right?" He nodded. "I didn't know you did album covers too." The last time they had seen each other was that photo shoot for Mizurra where he had asked Sadie out.

"Yeah I do freelance stuff in my own time. I like it better actually. I get to be more creative."

"That's cool."

"So your first album is almost done huh? Excited?" She smiled halfheartedly.

"Excited, nervous...well more like scared senseless that no one will buy it..." She admitted. He put his hand on her arm to reassure her.

"I heard some of your stuff. I liked it."

"Thanks..."

"So...Where's that sexy sister of yours?" She grinned. She had never asked Sadie how their date had gone, just assumed not well since Sadie had never mentioned it again.

"I'll tell her you said hi." He nodded.

"So you ready to get started?" She took in a big gulp of air and smiled. Maybe Tommy hadn't come into work today or had to work on his other band. She could only hope, in vain, she wouldn't encounter him.

.

Tommy tried to keep the meeting short, but Georgia had insisted on talking about Jude's upcoming tour and listening to the newly mixed songs. When they were done he hurried back to Jude and that man! When he opened the door there were a only a few people in the room, including E.J. He closed the door softly behind him, not that anyone heard him anyway with the music blasting from the speakers. Jude did not notice him, she was so focused on holding the pose. When Tommy finally fixed his eyes on her, he was not sure if it was lust or anger running down his spine. Then the dark haired man walked up to Jude adjusting her position with his hands on her hips. She wore only a nude colored tube dress and from far enough away it looked like she was completely naked. Tommy walked up to E.J. and whispered furiously into her ear.

"What the hell is she wearing?! I thought this was for an album cover , not a porn shoot!" Of course his timing was impeccable as the CD had chosen just then to end. The entire room whipped their heads towards him, including the object of his anger and jealousy. Jude straightened as color burned through her cheeks and visible upper chest. She glared at Tommy for a long minute before turning her head towards E.J.

"Is it alright if I don't have an audience?" E.J. nodded and grabbed Tommy's arm. Jude did not breathe again, until they were gone.

Tommy shrugged off E.J.'s hand and walked towards the alley door. He couldn't understand how Jude could agree to wear something like that? Did he really know her as well as he thought? How could this be the same girl that had balked at wearing a school girl uniform, complete with short plaid skirt, at her first photo shoot for Solid magazine? Of course no one had had a chance to tell him, that her body would be covered over in a blanket of stars, Photoshopped in later on.

Jude looked fierce as she held onto the anger at Tommy calling her a slut. Her eyes sparkled and Simon loved it. She had the angry rocker chick thing going as they took additional photos for the press releases. Later as her energy faded she felt slightly hollow inside. Why couldn't things go back to how they were? She had thought they were so happy.

.

Jude swung her bag over her shoulder as she finished for the day, walking out onto the sidewalk in front of G-Major. Normally she would have stayed much later, after the shoot, to work on her music, but Tommy had disappeared, not that she had been ready to confront him anyway. She started down the street towards the bus stop, when she saw movement in her peripheral vision. She turned to see his Hummer following her at her pace and impatient drivers behind him. One car blared his horn in anger.

"Jude get in. I'll drive you home." Tommy said after he rolled down his window, meeting her gaze. Jude stopped walking to glare at him and he came to a stand still too.

"No!" More horns beeped, making Jude jump. Tommy ignored the cars behind him and a guy shouted bodily harm at him out his window. "You should go." Jude said wide eyed at the epithets hurled at Tommy. He looked unruffled as he stared at her. She let out a breath and made her way to the passenger side door. She got in and slammed the door behind her, making him glad he hadn't taken the Viper today. She crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to look at him as he pulled back into traffic.

"What do you want?" She finally asked, unable to bear the silence a moment longer. It always confounded her, why he never felt the need to turn the radio on, even though he had spent quite a bit of money on a custom sound system.

"We need to straighten things out."

"You want me to break up with you. What's there to talk about?" Jude said quietly, not realizing despite how much she tried to keep the hurt out of her voice, it leaked through, piercing his heart.

"I never said that." He said through gritted teeth.

"Then how long has it been going on?" Her tone was light and breezy and he felt anything but.

"What?"

"How long have you and Kwest been lovers?" His palm hit the steering wheel and she flinched in surprise.

"Could....you...just stop?" He said with barely veiled frustration. She looked over at him and her eyes were simply sad again. She turned her head away so he couldn't see the wetness gathering in them. He desperately wanted to look at her, but had to keep his eyes on the road in the downtown traffic. "Jude?" His hand rested on her thigh and she didn't push him away, so he kept it there as he drove them to the park.

.

When he stopped he looked immediately over at her. His finger touched her cheek and she scooted further away, as if rejecting him. He sighed heavily as he watched her profile against the afternoon sun. He had never been good at expressing his feelings and found it ironic that this slip of a girl would be the one to make him try.

"I don't know where to begin." He said, letting his voice show a rare hint of vulnerability. "I'm sorry Jude. I just started having all these doubts..." She flinched as if struck, and in a way she had been, emotionally anyway.

"About us..." She stated. "I'd like to go home now Tommy. If we're done talking." She turned her body away from him, to face the side window again, but his arm went to her shoulder to shift her back towards him.

"Jude you're so young...."And he was so jaded, too jaded he sometimes thought when in her vibrant presence.

"I can't change that Tommy!"

"I'm not asking you to. Jude look at me." She reluctantly met his gaze and he cupped her cheek with his hand. "You matter to me. More than anyone else I've ever met." When he said the words he knew them to be true and he didn't have the strength yet to do what he perceived as the right thing, by breaking it off. His lips were hesitant on hers and it made her fall for him even more, because that was proof that she meant something to him. She pulled back and gave him a gentle smile, still bruised, but also confident he loved her.

"Tommy...You're everything to me." Her words scared him, there was so much responsibility inherent in them. He pulled her in and simply held her.

* * *

Jude sat behind Kat in English class as she twirled her pen like an imaginary drum stick when a student teacher popped his head in the door and spoke to Mrs. McKenzie.

"Jude." Jude looked up startled. "You're wanted at the vice principal's office. Take your things with you." She did as she was told and wondered what she could possibly have done. She had passed her last math test,....barely.

The secretary told her to go right in and she saw him sitting there, flirting with the woman old enough to be his mother. He turned his blue, blue eyes on her at hearing the slight intake of breath she had let out. He turned back to Mrs. Blake as he stood up and took her hand.

"Thank you so much for being understanding. Sometimes we have to work around the photographer's schedule." They exchanged a few more pleasantries, before he turned to go, making sure Jude followed. As soon as they were out of earshot, she turned her head and looked at him.

"What photographer?! Simon said everything was great yesterday." A few students who had no classes that period and were lounging around the hallway, definitely noticed him walking by. Jude looked embarrassed as she noticed their gazes fixed on the two of them. She quickened her pace to get outside. Once they reached his black Porsche Jude turned to him again.

"What's going on?" She asked and Tommy just rolled his eyes before putting his sunglasses on. He got in the car and Jude had no choice but to do the same. "Well?" She asked as they pealed out of the school grounds.

"We're playing hooky." He grinned at her and she could only grin back.

"So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise." He said before turning the radio up, drowning out any more questions she might have. He took her hand with his and rested them on her lap.

"Why are we getting on the highway?" She finally asked, since he showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

"Your family must have hated going on road trips with you when you were growing up Harrison." He commented.

"That's not true! Well maybe a little...But Sadie's the one with the tiny bladder. She made dad stop every hour or so." Tommy laughed and she looked at him again. She remembered when she had first gotten to G-Major he had never laughed or even smiled much.

.

Tommy parked underneath a stand of tall trees, next to a small grassy clearing, surrounded by more ancient trees. Dappled sunlight filtered through, making the green leaves look even richer in color. Jude looked over at him with questions dancing in her eyes. He smiled at her and opened the door to get out. He had her door open before she had a chance to do it herself. He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, just holding her for a minute.

"What is this place? It's beautiful." She looked around in wonder in the shelter of his arms. She felt isolated, rather she felt cocooned away from the rest of the world.

"Sometimes when I need to get away I drive." He admitted. "I found this place one of those times."

"It's perfect." She said in awe, loving that he had decided to share this with her.

"Hold on." He said as he reached inside behind the seat, pulling out a wicker basket and blanket. She looked at him in surprise. "This is our first date." He knew it bothered her that they couldn't be out in public together, except as the most casual of friends. Hell it bothered him too.

"If you got a guitar back there, you are the man of my dreams." They shared a look and then he pulled her towards the grass. He spread the blanket out and then sat down, pulling her down with him. She wound up half on his lap, not that she was complaining and his lips pressed against hers in a lingering kiss.

His hands found the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head in one motion. The sun warmed her bare flesh as his tongue wet it, lathing along the silky surface. He felt her tug at his shirt and helped her pull it off, tossing it onto the grass.

"I must be a pretty cheap first date, if you've already got me half naked without buying me a meal." She teased as she looked up into his light blue eyes.

"Well, we can have lunch after, but how about a little dessert first?" She raised her eyebrow in question, but his mouth found hers again and she forgot what she had been saying. His hands went to the clasp of her bra and she let him pull it away from her overheated skin. The rest of their clothes quickly found their way onto the growing pile, until she lay naked before him with the sun kissing her pale skin, and the overhang of the trees drawing intriguing shadows.

She felt liquid and hot as he gazed at her like that. Abruptly he moved away from her and she was about to protest when he took a couple of things from the hamper. In his hands was a plastic container of cut strawberries and a canister of whipped cream.

"I promised you dessert first remember?" He gave her a lecherous grin that had her laughing, until he squirted her bare chest with the white foam. A gasp escaped her lips; the stuff was cold. Tommy took a strawberry out and dipped it onto the feast spread out before him, before taking a small bite. He did it again, this time letting the fruit graze across her nipple, made erect by the cold cream, causing a shiver to run up her spine. The berry made it's way to her lips and she took it and his fingers into her mouth, sucking and nipping playfully, sending pleasure dancing down the length of his body as well.

He pressed his mouth onto hers and they could both taste the sweetness of the fruit as their tongues lapped at one another. He pulled back once again and sprayed more cream onto her body, before he started to lick it off slowly. His tongue circled the outer shape of her breast, working its way towards the center with every lazy spiral lick, until he reached the nub begging to be touched. She bowed up as he took it into his mouth to suck and flick with his tongue. The other breast begged for equal attention and he did not disappoint as he spent equal time tormenting the sweet flesh.

He moved down her body, to the vee of her legs where he had sprayed more of the foam. His hands went underneath her cheeks to lift her hips up to his mouth. And he made sure he got every last drop of the sweet cream, before he let her body drop back to the blanket. Jude was so close to the edge she could only pant as he slid his way up her slick body. There lips met again in a long languorous kiss that had both their pulses speeding out of control.

Jude pressed Tommy onto his back, before starting the same torturous treatment he had subjected her to. Her mouth paid special attention to his hard male nipples, causing a groan to escape his lips. Her tongue traced the same line as the whipped cream, down to his navel, where her tongue flicked out into his belly button. She continued lower, licking off the sweet cream along his shaft, causing it to quiver in front of her. Then she took him into her mouth, letting him slide along her lips. His hand fisted in her hair as she worked her mouth over him, until he felt the slow roll of pleasure start to take control. He took her upper arms and lifted her to his level to taste her mouth again. His hands caressed her body as his lips moved on hers hungry, but slow. She started to quiver at his every caress and he still felt a thrill of pleasure at how she responded to his touch.

She lay on her back with one knee bent staring up at him with her trusting eyes that awed him. That she believed in him so much, even after what he had almost done to them. She always made him feel a high level of anticipation as if it was the first time and she was a woman he had just met and was instantly attracted to. If he ever told her these things she would know that she was everything to him too, but he wouldn't say the words, not in this place and especially not at this time. He took care of protection and rested between her thighs as his mouth found her vulnerable neck, sinking his arousal into her slowly as his teeth grazed her tender flesh. She wrapped around him, holding him as he began to moved so gently inside of her. His strokes were long and deep, as he listened to the hitch in her breathing. She buried her face in his neck, holding on tightly as he plunged in over and over again as she came on a small whimper. He continued to move against her, in her as she surrounded him with her body, her scent. He was almost desperate to keep this going, to never let it end, but his body betrayed him as her muscles contracted around him again. She let out a louder cry this time as her hand ripped out a tuft of grass, though she barely noticed, too centered on the sensations he was wringing out of her. The sound echoed in the natural amphitheater and her hand went to her mouth in embarrassment. He could feel her laughter, vibrating around his cock and his loud moan, as he felt the pleasure rolling over him, joined hers among the trees and birdsong.

They held each other as they came back down to earth, her cheek pressed to his chest, as she listened to his heartbeat. The sun warmed their bare skin as they lay contentedly together.

"This is what happens when you date a singer." He commented and she looked up at him in puzzlement. "You get loud sex." She giggled and bit him playfully.

"This place does have nice acoustics."

"So are you feeling inspired?" Jude looked at him warily. "I meant to write a song. I kinda told Georgia that's why we were working out of the studio today." Jude gave him a sly grin.

"Should I write about your technique?" He tickled her ribs, making her squirm deliciously against him. He pinned her arms with his so that she could not return the favor. His mood changed as he looked down at her, his hand going to her cheek to brush away the red strands glistening in the sunlight.

"You'll always matter to me." He said so seriously, it brought a hint of fear into her heart. Why did his words sound so much like goodbye? Before she could think about it too hard, his lips were on hers and she let him distract her from her somber thoughts, as he deepened the kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

_Alright guys I am only updating now because aerionna asked. otherwise I probably wouldn't have bothered for awhile. I was hoping for a couple of reviews at least. As you know feedback is appreciated otherwise I don't know how people like my story._

**Chapter 16**

Tommy had just raised his hand to knock on the Harrison's door, when a harried looking Sadie opened it and jumped back a step, startled.

"Oh...Hey Tommy..." She smiled at him, taking in his tight jeans, blue Polo shirt and worn leather jacket. "Come in." She stepped back and he walked into the hallway.

"Is Jude ready?" He asked, growing a little uncomfortable at her continued gaze.

"I think she's still in bed." Sadie said absentmindedly. Tommy should have been annoyed, but he knew how much his girl liked her sleep and he had kept her at the studio pretty late last night, with her album deadline looming.

"Could you get her please?" Sadie looked down at her watch and shook her head.

"I can't. I'm already late. You can wake her up yourself. Second door on the right." Sadie called as she headed for the front door, swinging her purse over her shoulder.

"Are you sure you couldn't just run up real quick and tell her I'm here?" He let a small pleading note enter his voice. Sadie rolled her eyes at Tommy.

"Do you have any idea how hard Jude is to wake up?" She asked rhetorically, not actually expecting him to know the answer to that question. He had found that the gentle approach did not always work, but he had learned the hard way that if she was startled awake she could become violent. He had sported a bruise on his arm for 2 days for his efforts.

"Can your Mom get her?" Tommy asked a little desperately now. The last thing he wanted was to get caught in Jude's room. She always looked so cute when she was asleep. He found himself wondering what she wore to bed at home. The rare occasions she managed to stay over at his place, she didn't bother bringing pajamas with her. There was that one time she had fallen asleep with his tie on though. Tommy Jr. did a slight twinge that had him doing a mental slap. "What?" Tommy asked absentmindedly realizing Sadie had said something while he had been spacing out.

"I said Mom just went out to meet her friends for breakfast. Anyway I have to get going. See you later Tommy." He nodded and she gave him a what she hoped was a sexy smile, before letting herself out.

.

He didn't bother to knock, but instead twisted the knob and pushed the door open. The room was pretty much how he had pictured it would be as he looked around. He shut the door behind him, just incase Sadie came back. There were concert posters decorating all the walls, a small pile of clothes on the floor and a desk with her laptop on it. And on one wall was a huge shelf, containing nothing but CD's. There were also about a hundred random scraps of paper piled next to the computer. Song writers always finding inspiration in unexpected places at unexpected times. He grinned as he saw her form sprawled on the full size bed. Her comforter was sky blue, no pink for this girl and covered her lower body. The shirt she wore had ridden up to just below her breasts, showing her flat tummy. His fingers started to itch, although he tried to control his impulses. They were in her home and even though there was no one else there, he was cautious.

He stood beside the bed and caressed her cheek lightly. Her fiery hair fanned the pillow and he wondered once again how she managed to do that. He had woken up more than once with the strands practically choking him. His hand went to her shoulder as he shook her gently. She looked so peaceful in sleep and different without her customary energy raging through her every movement.

"Jude...." He crooned.

"Mmm..." She murmured and cracked her blue eyes open the barest bit. "Mmm always wanted a gorgeous guy in my bed." She said sleepily as she closed her eyes again.

"What?" He sat down on the side of the bed to hear her more clearly. He barely had time to process her mumbled words before she had somehow yanked him down beside her. Why was she unnaturally strong when she was asleep he could not understand. She pulled him closer so that his head rested on her chest, settling herself more comfortably.

"Jude... We have work...You have to get up." He was nervous, even though he knew no one else was home.

"No...Tired...Sleep...." When he tried to push up from her chest, her arms wrapped more firmly around his neck where she had him in almost a stranglehold. His mouth was so close to the bared skin of her stomach, he was having a hard time remembering why he had come in here.

"Jude..." He groaned. "You have to get up." He felt so content in her arms, he knew he had to break the spell. Her eyes opened finally and she stared into his eyes.

"Tommy? What are you doing in my bedroom?" She asked, finally coherent. "Did my Mom or Sadie see you come up here?" She said, a touch of panic in her voice.

"Sadie just left and she said your Mom went out to meet her friends for breakfast."

"Oh...I think I remember her saying something about that." Her smile grew warmer as she slid lower on the bed so that their heads were at the same level. "Hi..." She said softly. She loved waking up to the sight of him. Her fingers went to his lips to trace the outline of them and he captured her wrist with his hand, bringing it to his own lips. He traced her pulse point with his tongue and it had her inhaling sharply. He breathed in her scent on her wrist deeply and moved his mouth to hers. Her arms wrapped around him and she did not protest although the zipper of his jacket was digging into her flesh. When they touched like this, physical discomfort seemed far away compared to, the sensation of their bodies against each other. This wasn't passion, not yet anyway, just them saying hello in their own way.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Jude's first instinct had Tommy flying off of her, landing hard on the floor between the bed and the window, where he was not visible to the doorway. He rubbed his aching elbow as he dared not breathe.

"Jude?" Her mother called. "Aren't you supposed to be working? And what was that noise?" The door swung open to reveal Victoria with her hand on the knob staring at her daughter.

"Uh hey mom. I got to bed so late, I must have over slept. I musta knocked the alarm clock off the nightstand." Jude sat up making sure the comforter fell to the floor, covering Tommy's prone form. He knew there was a reason he had resisted coming up here! He tried not to move, as predictably his nose started to itch. Did she ever clean her floor?

"Are you feeling alright honey?" Victoria eyed her critically. "You look a little flushed. Are they overworking you at the studio?"

"No!" Jude said a little too vehemently making her mother give her a calculating look." No... " She said more softly this time. "I just got a little warm under the covers is all. Um I thought you had breakfast with Suzette and Linda?" She said to get her mother's mind off how odd she was acting.

"Yes. I need to get going. I got halfway there and realized I left my credit cards at home when I changed purses. I'll see you later honey."

"Bye Mom. Have a good time." Jude called as Victoria left the room. She waited a minute and gave a big sigh of relief as she heard the click of the door downstairs. Jude leaned over and picked up her blanket, placing it back on the bed, to see Tommy trying to stay as still as possible. She had to giggle and he looked up at her with an upset look on his face.

"She's gone. You can get up now." He stood up slowly and shook his head.

"You are going to be the death of me." He said wiping imaginary sweat off his brow.

"Aww..." She said in mock sympathy as she knelt on the bed and wrapped her arms around his neck. "But you'll die so happy." She grinned as she pulled his head down for a proper good morning kiss. They pulled apart and he grinned at her like he knew a secret. "What?"

"You dreamed of having Tommy Q in your bed?" He teased, remembering her earlier remark.

"Uh....I think I said I always wanted a gorgeous guy in my bed. I didn't even recognize Little Tommy Q when I was staring at him in the face, remember?" He winced as if he had taken a physical blow.

"You are so bad for my ego." Jude shook her head. She touched her forehead to his.

"I love you. How could that possibly be bad for your ego?" She loved him, not Little Tommy Q, but the him only she had been able to see underneath his many layers. He held her for another moment, before breaking their mutual trance. If they continued like this they would never get to work and that was definitely not something either of them could explain to Georgia.

It was a good thing he had taken the bike today, he thought as she scrambled into the bathroom for a quick shower. His motorcycle was thankfully parked behind Andrews old clunker and not in front of the house. Victoria would have recognized any of his other vehicles when she had come back.

.

* * *

The last days of finishing an album were a lot like summer camp. The natives were restless and the camp counselors impatient. Georgia watched them working through the window, trying to stay the impulse to tell them to hurry up. She knew rushing them would not net the results any of them wanted and made herself walk away to give them the space to finish.

Jude tried not to laugh as she sang into the microphone and watched the two men fooling around on the other side of the glass. Were they even listening to anything coming out of her mouth? It was like they had forgotten her completely, all alone stuck in the sound booth.

"I'm the smoke from your fire. I'm the lie you can trust. I'm the naked girl on the bus." They two men stopped their game of imaginary table tennis mid-motion to fix their eyes on her. Tommy leaned over to stop the recording and hit the intercom button, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Uh I think it's a little late to be improving lyrics Harrison as much as I like the idea of the new ones."

"Just seeing if you were still listening." She gave Tommy a saucy grin.

"Ugh stop looking at him like that!" Kwest growled, disgusted by the both of them.

"Ignore him. He's just frustrated because he isn't getting any." Tommy said causing a small laugh to escape Jude.

"What is this? Gang up on Kwest day?" He muttered. He could get dates if he wanted. It was just that he had his eye on this one blond that until recently only had eyes for someone else.

"I can't believe our first album is almost done. I could never have done this without you. I can't wait to work on the next one." Jude said excitedly with her feet propped on Tommy's lap as he put the finishing touches for her last song on the album. He swiveled his chair so that he was facing her and placed her feet on the floor with a grim expression on his face.

"Jude about that..... We need to talk later." Hadn't she known in the back of her mind, that something would happen again?

"What's wrong with now Tommy?" Her gaze was penetrating as she stared at him.

"I don't think this is the place..." She looked at him determinedly until he sighed in defeat.

"I've been offered a job at Wendell Records in New York City. It's a great opportunity... I'm going to take it."

"You're leaving?" She said in such a small voice he felt instantly horrible. He gave a curt nod and he heard her sharp intake of breath. She looked at him for a moment more, before she turned her head away, silent. He kept waiting for her to speak, she was not one ever at a loss for words, but no sound escaped her lips. He finally understood the term 'deafening silence.' because that was what surrounded them in the small space.

"Are you going to say anything?" He asked a little harsher than he had intended, wanting to finally get her reaction out of the way so he would know how she felt. She stood up and turned to go when he grabbed her wrist. "Jude..." His tone had softened. She was still silent, simply staring down at her arm where he held her, until he finally let go. She walked away, having only said that one single thing since his announcement. He should have told her sooner he knew, but he hadn't wanted to distract her music, with their goal so close to being reached. But the main reason was he had never wanted to hurt her again, not wanting to see that wounded look in her eyes, aimed at him.

Jude walked out into the pouring rain with no destination in mind, just the instinct to flee. Why was it raining every time someone broke up with her? It was late afternoon and the sky had been overcast all day. Her skin like her heart was slightly numb as the water pelted down soaking her thin t-shirt and jeans. There had been a seed planted at the back of her mind, from that first time he had wanted to break up with her and she had half expected something like this to happen again. Not that she had expected him to actually flee the country. Tommy took too long to make the decision to go after her and when he reached the street she was gone, leaving him with no idea which direction she had taken. He was almost in a panic when he walked to his parking spot. Their receptionist Sarah had told him Jude had just walked out the door ignoring the warning she had called about it raining.

His girl was somewhere out there in the inclement weather wearing only a t-shirt and jeans. He had looked down right after she had left to see the jacket and book bag she had a habit of leaving underneath the soundboard.

.

It seemed like he had been waiting for hours when he finally spotted her sodden figure walking down the street towards her house. After she had run off earlier he had driven around looking for her, obviously with no luck and had finally decided to wait for her here. She started to walk by his Porsche, her head bent low, not even noticing the car. He swung the door open and stepped out to intercept her.

"Jude." He said over the rain and she finally looked up, realizing he was too close. His arms wrapped around her before she could get away. The fight he expected never came, all her energy had already been spent, crying. She simply slumped against him and he led her into the passengers seat. He took his leather jacket off and covered her with it before getting in the driver's side. Tommy turned the heat on full blast as soon as he started the car. She was shivering as the cool air hit her wet skin.

.

When they entered his apartment Jude went to the bathroom to get out of her wet clothes. He knocked once and when she opened the door, handed her some sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. She didn't say anything as she took the clothes from him and he went back to his bedroom to change himself. He knew he shouldn't have done it like this, but was there a good way to tell a girl that loves you, you're leaving her? He knew his inaction had hurt her more and regret was a bitter taste as he saw her still ravaged form, swamped in his clothes, coming out of the bathroom. She bravely looked him in the eyes, letting him see her emotions written right into their shining depths.

They sat down together on his couch, with a small distance between them and he reached for her to pull her closer, into his arms. She clung then, like he would disappear any second and he realized that was exactly how it would seem to her. She spoke first and he had to strain to hear her soft voice.

"When are you leaving?"

"When I drop the masters off in New York... I'll be staying there." 3 days?!

"God! Were you even going to tell me you weren't coming back?! Or were you just going to disappear?!" Jude struggled halfheartedly to get out of his arms, but he never loosened his grip.

"I'm sorry..." Tommy whispered and she calmed, hearing the pain his voice.

"Why?" She said in such an aching voice he flinched.

"I didn't want to distract you. We were so close to being done with the album."

"No....Why won't you stay? Is it me?" He had known that had been her real question. He had known he would never be ready to tell her his reasons, but he didn't have a choice now.

"Jude you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. But..."

"Then why won't you stay?" He took her cold hands in his and looked into her face.

"Our timing's wrong. I know you see it. And too many people know about us already." Jude shook her head from side to side, not wanting to understand his words, even though she did on some deeper level, that was not this hurt little girl. Her career was a fragile thing at this point in her life and until star power shielded her, she could not have the kind of scandal that public knowledge of their relationship would bring. "If your friend Kat or even Sadie said they had met a guy and she knew he was the one she would spend her life with, would you believe her?" Jude wanted to say yes, but found the word stuck in her throat. "Jude you're only 16. There are so many things you haven't experienced yet."

"What do you want from me Tommy? I can't change how old I am."

"I need to know what you feel for me isn't because I was your first."

"You really think I love you because you were my first?!"

"No...But can you know for sure Jude?"

"Yes." She gritted her teeth, unable to believe he would doubt her like that.

"How many men have you met that you've been attracted to?" She simply stared at him. They never did resolve things that night, but had agreed to wait until the album was done before finishing the conversation.

.

He parked a block from her house and they sat in the silence, neither of them wanting to lose the presence of the other. The album was complete and they had celebrated at the studio with all the employees. Sadie, Jamie and Kat had even shown up. The excitement for Jude and Tommy was not overshadowed by his decision, but still present in the back of their minds tempering their joy. The hours were ticking down and anxiety coated Jude's insides. They had not spoken of his leaving since he had told her the day before, letting Jude absorb the reality.

"Fine. I'll do it your way Tommy...but I'm not sleeping with anyone else." She said it abruptly, out of the blue and so totally Jude like. He already missed it even though she sat in front of him. He frowned, not wanting to imagine her in anyone's arms but his own. He shook himself. He had to let go for now.

"You slept with me the first night we met." She grinned at him, letting him lighten the mood.

"That's cuz I knew I'd love you Tommy Q." She put her fingers up to his lips. He placed a kiss on them, taking her wrist in his hand, groaning at the temptation that was Jude.

"You make it so hard..." She let the opportunity for sexual innuendo slip away. This _was _hard. She could be a grown up too.

"Should it be easy?"

"I don't know..." This was new for him too. When he had lost Angie, it had been out of fear and he had never had a chance to change his mind. This was him doing the right thing, letting her go, because he loved her.


	17. Chapter 17

_Everyone thanks for reading and reviewing. The songs in this chapter are Save Tonight by Eagle Eye Cherry and It Starts With Goodbye by Carrie Underwood_

**Chapter 17**

She stared out the window at the city lights as he poured the wine into their glasses. Long red hair whipped around as he called to her and she turned to see him sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, leaning against the couch.. His eyes beckoned her to join him. She let the curtains fall back into place and walked towards him.

__

Go on and close the curtains  
cause all we need is candle light  
You and me and a bottle of wine

She sat down beside him and he pulled her into his arms so that she leaned against his chest. She watched the flames of the tapered candles he had lit, flicker almost hypnotically.

__

going to hold you tonight  
Well we know I'm going away  
and how I wish, I wish it weren't so  
So take this wine and drink with me  
let's delay our misery

He reached for a glass and handed it to her, taking one for himself.

"Trying to get me drunk Quincy?" She joked, halfheartedly.

"You _are _an easy drunk Harrison." She hit him on the arm and the mood lightened for the barest moment.

__

Save tonight  
and fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
tomorrow I'll be gone

They both took sips from their glasses as if they could deny what would happen if they ignored the impending day. There was not enough time for them and they both knew it. Jude had to be home tonight. She had told her mother that Tommy was taking her out for a celebratory dinner, but it could only last so long before Victoria would get suspicious.  
_._

_  
Save tonight  
and fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
tomorrow I'll be gone _

Tommy stood up suddenly and bent down to take her hands and pull her to her feet. He could not bear the idea of wasting the last minutes they would be together. He placed one arm under her knees and the other to the small of her back, picking her up so her head rested against his shoulder. She closed her eyes as tears seeped through her lids and let him carry her into the bedroom.

.__

There's a log on the fire  
and it burns like me for you  
Tomorrow comes with one desire  
to take me away it's true  
It ain't easy to say goodbye  
darling please don't start to cry  
Cause girl you know I've got to go, oh  
Lord I wish it wasn't so

_._

_.  
_With every action Tommy seemed to be fighting the inevitable. He pretended every touch he placed against her skin was the first. He undressed her slowly, taking extra time to trace the curve of one shoulder, the indent of her waist, the sweet swell of her breast. He took care of protection quickly, not wanting to waste a moment in her presence. He sat down beside her on the bed with his legs out in front of him. He pulled her onto his lap so she sat on his thighs with her legs outspread on either side of him. She had never done this position with him before, something about it seemed so intimate.

Tommy took her waist and lifted her so her entrance was poised on his hard flesh. She sank down onto him, until they were joined together and he raised his knees to get better leverage. Their eyes remained locked together as his arms wrapped around her bare back and her arms around his waist. Their lips melded together, as he pressed up into her with small thrusts that were enough for both of them. This was about intimacy and not mindless pleasure.

He tasted salty tears that would sporadically slide down her cheeks and almost felt like crying himself. They held each other tightly as his hips barely moved to push himself into her. One hand splayed at the back of her neck as he tilted her head back so his mouth could taste the soft skin there. She moaned as his teeth found her throat. Her hands gripped his hard thighs, seeking purchase as he moved inside of her.

_Save tonight  
and fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
tomorrow I'll be gone_

_Tomorrow comes to take me away  
I wish that I, that I could stay  
Girl you know I've got to go, oh  
Lord I wish it wasn't so _

"Tell me you understand." He begged as his breathing grew heavier, his thrusts more urgent. He fought to hold on, but her sweet flesh made that impossible. She didn't know if she could understand, but she knew what he needed to hear.

"I do..." She said on an intake of breath as her body started to tighten and her muscles clenched him inside of her, as if never wanting to let go. It was the only time Jude had ever lied to him and the only time she had ever done it well. What was one more secret, added to the list they already shared?

__

Save tonight  
and fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
tomorrow I'll be gone

Save tonight  
and fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
tomorrow I'll be gone

He pressed into her until he felt the pleasure roll over him like a torrent, replacing the slow drugging sensation he had been feeling buried in her flesh. His arms wrapped tight around her bare back, her breasts pressed against his chest as the spasms slowed. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears as she looked into his eyes. Her hands cradled his cheeks as she brushed her swollen lips against him softly. They stayed wrapped together as their mouths moved together in desperation, each of them trying to remember every second of this night.

_Save tonight  
and fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
tomorrow I'll be gone_

_Save tonight  
and fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
tomorrow I'll be gone  
tomorrow I'll be gone  
tomorrow I'll be gone  
tomorrow I'll be gone  
tomorrow I'll be gone_

_Save tonight  
Save tonight  
Save tonight  
Save tonight_

_

* * *

_

Jude opened the door and stepped outside to wait as Tommy got out of his Viper. She didn't know where the strength came from, but she held herself back from her instinct to run to him and fling her arms around him and never let go. He walked up to her, letting her see the unhappiness in his light eyes. He found a small smile to give her as she stared at him.

_"_I can't stay. They're expecting the masters." She nodded and let her gaze fall to the concrete between them. In their silence was goodbye, maybe not forever, but definitely for now.

"Remember I will always be there if you need me. For your music or anything else. Call me when you're ready. You have my new phone number and address?" She nodded and he placed his hands on her hips to pull her to him. She rested forehead against his, as his hands rubbed up and down her arms gently. He put a small space between them to look down into her eyes, giving her one last kiss on her forehead before stepping back. Her fingers caught his one last time before he turned and she dropped her hand back to her side, leaning against the doorway, to watch him cross the street to his car.

Sadie, wearing a short blue silk robe, joined Jude at the doorway and they both watched as Tommy got into the Viper. They heard him gun the engine once, before he took off in a blur.

"Why didn't you tell me Tommy was here?"

"He just came to say goodbye. He's dropping off the masters in New York."

"When will he be back?"

"He's not coming back." At least he wouldn't be for a long time. She thought she understood, but it didn't make it any easier to let him go.

"Ever?" Sadie asked in shock. Jude shrugged trying to play nonchalant as her heart continued to crumble. Her sister put her arm around Jude's shoulders and they walked back into the house. Even Sadie with her own ulterior motives, couldn't help but see that Jude and Tommy had been close.

"What happened to his girlfriend?" Sadie asked curiously as they walked through the hallway towards the kitchen.

"He changed his mind about her." Jude said, not letting on that those were the most heartbreaking words she had ever said out loud.

_

* * *

_

_Is it irony or simply a cruel twist of fate when the man you love more than anything leaves you and then just as quickly a man you should hate reenters your life?_

She spotted him and his oversized SUV pretty quickly parked by the curb in front of her house. She walked towards the man leaning against his black Escalade with his shades on, in his customary pose, trying to look as cool as possible. Seriously who wore sunglasses at night? It only took her a split second to think about whether or not seeing him there bothered her and the answer was a resounding no! He did not impress her anymore, his charisma seemed no longer so shiny in her eyes and she had driven a fancy car now too. She simply found she was apathetic to his presence, only mildly curious as to why he would be here after all these months. He removed his sunglasses to meet her gaze.

"Jude." He stated, looking her over with his chocolate brown eyes that she had once thought soulful, but now found insincere. "You look good."

"You too Shay." He gave her a smile that she returned. "So...What are you doing here?" He had come to make up his earlier behavior towards her or so he said. He had heard about the club tour she was doing and offered her the chance of a lifetime, a stadium tour with him. He told her the one thing they had done well together was music. With that she had had to agree_._

He handed her the plane ticket to New York where rehearsals would start on Monday for the next leg of his tour. She stared down at the paper in her hands as he drove off into the night. New York...Playing for thousands of people. She walked into her house to see her mother and father doing unspeakable things on the couch, and promptly walked back out. Old Jude would have believed that this was their reconciliation, but this Jude simply waited to see, knowing sex did not always solve problems, sometimes it simply created more.

_._

Jude went over to Jamie's house and knocked on the door. He opened it in surprise, but beckoned her to enter nonetheless. They hung out like old times and she told him about Shay's offer. Although he hated the idea, jealousy raw in his gut, he couldn't say anything. Somewhere along the way they had lost that closeness that let him speak his mind to her and he did not know why.

.

"You're really going on tour with your ex?" Sadie sat on Jude's bed watching her sister pack.

"It's a great opportunity." Jude said nonchalantly as she put some shirts in her suitcase.

"It doesn't bother you at all?" Sadie asked incredulously. Jude shook her head.

"Why should it?"

"Uh he dumped you in front of the entire country? On your birthday?"

"His loss." Sadie digested her sister's statement in wonder. It's not like Jude had another boyfriend to get over her last one with. So why didn't she seem to care? For Jude it was simple, Shay's little betrayal had barely touched her compared to Tommy leaving. Then there was the added bonus of their parents announced plans to divorce. When Jude had gone home from Jamie's later that night, her parents had been there to tell her the news.

"So you really have no feelings for him anymore?"

"Sadie let it go." Jude was sick of the interrogation. " I don't care about Shay... at all. The only reason I'm doing this is for my music." And to get away from everything that reminded her of him. She couldn't even drive by the park she and Sadie had played at as kids without remembering the times they had stopped there for a little privacy before he dropped her off.

"Are you going to see Tommy? You said he moved to New York right?"

"I don't know..." Jude stopped for the barest second as the thought of him sent a new ripple of pain running through her body.

"Why not? I mean you guys were close before he left."

"He's got a new life. Besides I doubt there'll be time. With rehearsals and all..." Jude looked up at Sadie with a tinge of fear in her eyes. "It's a stadium tour Sadie." Jude said aloud to absorb the magnitude of what she was doing.

"Jude I know I haven't always been supportive of your music, but you're my sister and you are going to kick some major ass." Jude gave a small laugh and they hugged one another.

"So what about you? Are you all set for Italy?" Sadie grinned.

"I can't wait!" Sadie said excitedly, not noticing her sister's subtle subject change.

"I bet! All those hot Italian guys..."

"I'm not going so I can meet someone!"

"But you're Sadie Harrison. You will...You're like a guy magnet." Jude teased. She lacked the old jealousy for her sister she had held not that long ago. Because he had wanted her.

* * *

Kat and Jamie had decided to meet at their favorite coffee shop after seeing each other at G-Major the other night. Jamie was relieved that she had started speaking to him again. They stood in line as they discussed the tour Jude had almost instantly decided to do instead of the club tour Tommy had set up for her. Jamie had anxiety coursing through his veins as his mind could not get past one simple question. Would Jude give Shay another chance?

"So have you told her how you feel?" Kat asked him as he grabbed a blueberry muffin from the counter.

"I don't know Kat. The timing..."

"Jamie. It's time to carpe Judem. Either go after her or let her go." Kat knew what Jude's answer would be. The rare times she has seen Jude and Tommy together she had seen the connection they shared. Jude would never look at Jamie that way even though Tommy had apparently moved on. They paid for their coffees and found a table by the window.

"You're telling me to go after her? But that's why we broke up Kat." He asked her in puzzlement.

"I think we're right together, but you need to find out for yourself. She's going to break your heart. If you're lucky I'll be there to put it back together." The boy watched the girl and wondered again when he would be able to understand the female species.

* * *

Jude sat out in front her house, bags at her side, waiting for her taxi to arrive. She flipped shut the cell phone in her hand without hitting send, although her heart wanted to so badly. She had made the decision and she would stick to it. She wouldn't tell him she had decided against the club tour because he wouldn't understand and she no longer owed it to him to explain anything. When she had asked about the small venues he had told her that the small tour was the best way for her to ease into touring gradually. If she was going to learn, it would be on her own terms. She waited impatiently for the taxi to take her to the airport, to her new destiny. She knew he wouldn't agree with her choice, but then again, hadn't Tommy accused her of doing everything in a hurry once upon a time? As always, thinking of him, sent pain shooting through her heart.

.

_I was sitting on my doorstep,  
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,  
But I knew I had to do it,  
And he wouldn't understand,  
So hard to see myself without him,  
I felt a piece of my heart break,  
But when you're standing at a crossroad,  
There's a choice you gotta make._

As she stood there alone in the large airport, she looked around and so many memories flashed through her mind. Him first of all, her family, her friends and then finally the most important thing. She remembered herself, who she was and who she had wanted to be 6 months ago. Not just lover, daughter, sister, friend, but musician. That had always been the one constant in her life, since the moment her Dad had placed a guitar into her small 9 year olds hands. She had always wanted to make music, she was music. Amidst the chaos and bustle, she found part of herself again. And she didn't know yet if it was worth the price. But she promised herself right then that she would try to live her dreams, for herself and no one else.

.

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye._

She finally accepted the pain was going to be a part of her, whereas before she fought against it bitterly. Her thoughts as always returned to him as she started towards the escalator. Was he already happy in his new life with a new artist to replace her? Someone older, more sophisticated about the world? Not that it was hard to find someone older than 16. She heard her name being called and turned to see Jamie, jogging forward to catch her.

"Jude..." He said breathlessly, as he adjusted the glasses that had been knocked askew from his run. She gave him a smile, glad to see him and let his presence take her mind off of the enormity of her choices.

"Jamie? What are you doing here? We said goodbye last night..." She scanned his face in bemused surprise.

"There are some things I've been wanting to say to you...But I couldn't get it out." She looked at him in puzzlement as he gazed down at her so familiar face. "You're going to miss me this summer." He stated.

"Of course..." She never got to finish her sentence as he took her by the upper arms and leaned down pressing his lips against hers.

Jude pulled back from him, not that it had been a bad kiss or anything, but surprise had won out over anything else she might have felt. Panic that if she said the wrong thing, she would lose him and his friendship, overwhelmed her.

"Jamie my head's in a bad place right now..." She said apologetically, begging him with her eyes for him to understand.

"Because of Shay?"

"Shay?" She asked in utter puzzlement, confusing him. If not Shay then who or what? She shook her head, finally getting his meaning. "Remember that first day at G-Major when you made me promise not to change for anyone?" He nodded, not quite understanding where this was going. "I think...Somewhere along the way I lost that girl...I need to find her again before I can think about anything else....Okay?" He didn't like her answer, but it wasn't a flat out 'no' like he had always feared. He nodded and reached down to hug her.

"You'll do amazing." He whispered into her ear.

He let her go and she gave him one last sad smile before turning away. She got on the escalator and her gaze fixed up to the second floor, looking forward to her next adventure. How hard could it be to tour with her ex-boyfriend and ignore the fact that her other ex was in the same city she was headed to, when she wanted so much to see him again?

.

_I know there's a blue horizon,  
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,  
Getting there means leaving things behind,  
Sometimes life's so bittersweet._

At first she had believed Tommy was doing this for her, to let her stretch her wings, but as days slipped into weeks without a word from him, doubts began to surface. Maybe it had been just an excuse, an easy out for him. She had been too much trouble, too much work. And he didn't want to piss her off, by ending their relationship the way he usually did with women, because then maybe she would have told her parents what they had been up to. Sure at 16 it wasn't a crime, but that first time it had been. She was resigned to the fact that she would never know the answers to her questions. Tears pricked her eyes as they did most days, hearing a love song or just a memory of him in a place they had been together, could trigger her sadness, not that sadness wasn't a constant in her life anyway.

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye._

_Time, time heals,  
The wounds that you feel,  
Somehow, right now._

"Ms. Harrison where are you going today?" The smiling female security guard asked as she glanced up from her passport. Jude looked down at the tickets in her hand. She handed them to her and the woman scanned the boarding pass before handing it back.

"New York."

"Enjoy your trip." Jude returned her smile before walking through the metal detectors.

Jude was the last member of her band to get on the plane. She found herself sitting beside Wally where he had graciously left her the window seat. After the initial greetings she leaned her head against Wally's shoulder and found it wasn't as bony as it looked. He was surprised, but didn't protest, letting her shift against him until she was more comfortable. She took her journal out of her bag and began to write.

_I guess it's gonna have to hurt,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
I guess it's gonna break me down,  
Like falling when you try to fly,  
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye,  
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,  
And let go of some things I've loved,  
To get to the other side,  
Starts with goodbye,  
The only way you try to find,  
Moving on with the rest of your life,  
Starts with goodbye,_


	18. Chapter 18

_Thanks for all the lovely reviews everyone!_

**Chapter 18**

Shay was not stupid, he knew to get what or who as the case might be, he wanted he would have to be patient. She had agreed to come on the tour, that was the first step. She was laughing with her band as they walked towards the stage when he spotted her. He observed her from a distance, knowing since he had seen her in Toronto that he still wanted her. She saw him standing by the mike and spoke to SME, before walking towards him.

"I see you made it." He said smoothly as she came to stand in front of him.

"Yeah....Thanks for asking me."

"So Harrison you ready for this?" Jude grinned at him and nodded. "And us? We good?" She studied his features for a moment, purposefully making him wait for her reply.

"Honestly Shay I'm over it. I was never that into you."

"Oooh Shorty that is so cold." They shared a laugh. "Have you gotten the tour?" She shook her head and he led her around the massive stadium.

They were back on the stage, after he had shown her the vast space and she had found it a tiny bit overwhelming although she didn't show it. Gone was the Jude that wore her heart on her sleeve. That way only led to ruin.

"So what's the real reason you took Eden off the tour?" Jude crossed her arms in front of her chest as she turned to him and gave him an intent stare. He looked a little embarrassed as he answered her.

"She cheated on me with one of the dancers." Jude had to laugh and it took her a minute before she had herself under control again. He started to get flustered, not enjoying her amusement at his expense.

"Sorry..." She snorted again. "It's just....I knew it would happen."

"Come on Jude I know you and her had issues..."

"Actually Tommy told me some things she said to him..."

"What? You saying she tried to get it on with Quincy?" Shay said in disbelief. Jude grinned as she looked at her ex. She tapped her chin pretending to consider.

"How do you like her Altoids trick?" Jude watched his face slowly turn a shade of gray. "She bragged about being really good at... you know. Is it true?" Shay groaned. He should have seen the signs. It wasn't like Eden had been the first woman to want him for his money and fame. Actually she had been the norm and this girl in front of him the exception.

"She was such a whore." He shook his head. Shay's gaze lingered on her as if examining her.

"What?" She asked, getting uncomfortable at his probing look.

"You're different Harrison. What exactly have you been up to?" Jude shrugged. She changed the subject abruptly.

"Regretting breaking up with me aren't you? I'm the only person who didn't want anything from you."

"I know." He said voice filled with remorse, starting to finally learn how rare that was in their world.

"So do Altoids really make a difference?" When Shay opened his mouth again, he said something that had Jude mute.

"Jude you think we could try again?" She reacted without conscious thought, having belonged to someone else for so long.

"I'm seeing someone..." Shay looked surprise.

"I haven't seen anything in the tabloids. Who is he?" Spied who had been looking for Jude, came to the rescue. He put his arm around her shoulders and she jumped a little.

"Hey babe." He gave his cute puppy dog smile and she could only stare back. "You ready to go?" He prompted her. He pinched her shoulder and she snapped out of her daze.

"Uh yeah..." She gave Shay an apologetic look. "I'll see ya." Spied led her off and they walked out of view before he dropped his arm from around her shoulder. Shay stared after him, his ego not letting him believe that skinny kid was really competition.

* * *

She hadn't contacted him once since he had left, no calls, texts, emails or letters. He had told her to take her time, but hadn't actually expected her to cut all communication. He knew she had been due to kick off the club tour he had set up before he had left and found himself dialing a familiar number. He needed to know how she was coping with the stresses of the road. He knew it could be hard, from personal experience. And if he was honest with himself, he simply wanted to hear any information he could get about her.

"Hey man. How's it going at G-Major?"

"New York's good. You hear how Jude's tour's going?"

"What do you mean she didn't go on the club tour?"

"Shay's tour? She's in New York right now?" He absorbed the information in disbelief. Jude was here, in New York City, and she hadn't told him, hadn't tried to see him. Kwest said she had been there the entire week for rehearsals. Tonight would be her first concert and then they would be moving on to the next stop. The news floored him for a moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tommy asked accusatorily. He had told Kwest to watch out for her before he left. He had trusted his best friend to keep him updated.

"It wasn't my call to make man. If she wanted to tell you she would have." Kwest had actually assumed Jude had contacted Tommy, but hadn't wanted to press her by asking. He had a lot of respect for what Tommy had done, but it did not make seeing the depressed girl any easier to deal with. It was a good thing Jude hadn't spent a lot of time at G-Major with her album done. Kwest didn't know if she could have hidden the deep pain he knew she had been feeling. He had even offered to take her out for lunch one time to talk, but she had shaken her head and thanked him for asking. Tommy was up and out of his new office within minutes. Sometimes it really paid to work so intimately in the music business. For him a ticket and backstage pass would be no problem as he went in search of the PR person at Wendell Records.

.

* * *

Jude sat in her dressing room, still unable to believe that she had done it. She had performed to a packed stadium and had loved every minute of it, well except for the first minute when she thought she might throw up. After that though, once she heard the music start, she had been good. SME had rocked it and they had all had fun. The duet with Shay had gone off without a hitch too, except for her backing up when he had tried to kiss her. She hadn't been prepared to go that far for her performance. She took the notebook in front of her and flipped through it, contemplating the songs she had on her lineup and whether or not there were any she should change.

There was a cut out cardboard star with her name on it hanging on the door and he had to smile, having always known her potential. He knocked lightly and heard a muffled reply. He turned the knob swinging the door open to see her red hair bent over her journal. She swung her head up from where she sat in front of the vanity and stared at him in shock.

"Tommy?" He walked in and closed the door behind him. It was the last night she was supposed to be in New York and she had finally let her guard down, figuring he had not heard about the tour. When she had first gotten to the city every dark haired man who was the right height had drawn her gaze, making her heart skip a beat, until she had realized how silly she was being in a city of millions.

"Were you going to tell me you were here in New York joining your ex's tour?" He said slightly sarcastically. She sighed and looked down at her clasped hands. Was this how it was going to go?

"Why would I?" She kept her voice emotionless, surprising him. This was not going how he had expected. She should have tried to apologize, tell him she was just afraid to see him. She should have been rushing into his arms. He tried a different approach, knowing antagonizing her wouldn't help matters.

"Jude even if we're not together, we're still friends...." She was silent for a long moment even though her words had been on the tip of her tongue immediately.

"You know what Tommy? I might be only 16, but even I'm not that naïve." She scoffed, as she looked up catching his eyes. "We can't be friends." He knew she was right. There was too much between them. Their relationship wasn't one where the passion had faded with time, into friendship. Every emotion they held for the other was still present and as Tommy watched her beautiful face, realized had not ebbed, but instead with distance felt even more precious.

"Jude..." She just shook her head. "Are you and Shay back together?" He asked finally.

"Why do you care? You told me to live my own life." Her heart wanted her to throw herself into his arms and hold on, while her brain shouted at her to be smart and tell him to leave.

"You know Shay's a bad idea Jude." Her hands clenched in agitation, putting crescent moon indents on her palms.

"You don't get to do this. You don't get to tell me to have my own adventures and then turn around and tell me what I should do." She looked up at him and he found he could not look away from the anger and hurt radiating from her expressive eyes.

"You're right." He put his hands to his head. "Jude I can't not have you in my life. At least a little bit." Jude looked at him in shock. He had left her...Hell he had moved to another country to get away from her. Why was he here saying this now?! She shook her head as if rejecting him. "Don't do this Jude."

"Do what Tommy? I'm living my life. You're the one who didn't want to be a part of it." He looked at her with intensity and...was that hurt?

"You know that's not true...."

"Do I?" She said in a heartbreakingly small voice, her walls finally crumbling.

"Jude..." He said her name so gently, it undid her.

"Don't do this Tommy. I cant..." Her eyes filled with tears. He held his hand out to her and she found herself in his arms. "I can't..." She whispered over and over, every time it broke his heart a little bit more. Had he destroyed any chance of them in the future by letting her go, this way, now? He had thought he was making the right choice. He had thought she understood, but obviously she didn't. She was so young. Too young, too inexperienced.

.

* * *

Tommy waited as the elevator door finally opened, in what seemed like hours although could only have been a couple of minutes, to reveal her. She looked up in surprise and took the hand he held out to her. She had called him from downstairs when she arrived in front of his building, after the show. He led her into the open doorway of his new apartment and he let her go as she turned her head to look around. A baby Grand piano sat by balcony windows with shades opened allowing the city lights to gleam against the dark wood. This apartment had been provided by his new label, so was more lavish than the one in Toronto. The matching living room sofa set was plush moss green velvet and the feel of the apartment modern contemporary. Tommy had not particularly cared about how the place looked as long as it was comfortable. To him it was just a place to sleep at night, and not a home.

Jude felt his fingers press lightly against her back and she turned into his arms. She stiffened for the barest second and he noticed, giving her a confused look. She forced herself to relax though and he did not want to voice her reaction aloud, sensing it might ruin what little time they had together. He led her over to the couch and they sat down together, a little awkwardly.

"You want a drink? Did you eat?" She shook her head.

"I'm not thirsty...or hungry." He was caught for a minute, unsure what to say when there was so much that needed to come out.

"You did good tonight." Her eyes finally caught his in surprise. She figured he had shown up after her performance, never guessing he had sat through it before confronting her. He had been tempted to see her beforehand, but had known better than to distract her.

"You saw it?" She asked in a small surprised voice.

"Did you really think I would miss Jude Harrison's first stadium concert?" He asked softly as he searched her eyes to gauge her true mood. She gave a small helpless shrug.

"You said I wasn't ready..." She had expected him to be angry about not taking his advice, but he wasn't showing signs of it.

"I never said that. I just wanted you to ease into touring. It's a new muscle for you." He couldn't resist the urge to touch her soft cheek, and she leaned into his hand. He had been looking out for her, she finally admitted to herself. He pulled back then, having been too tempted by her mere presence. She looked at him in puzzlement as he excused himself to use the bathroom, leaving her to watch his retreating figure.

Tommy splashed ice cold water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror. If he seduced her like this, then she would never believe he cared about her. He didn't know how, but he had to make her realize what she was worth to him. He pulled a wash cloth from the rack and dried his face, wishing for the first time since he had admitted his feelings for her, that his body didn't automatically respond to hers.

.

When he reentered the living room she was no longer there. He noticed a stray boot and then the other on the floor a few feet away, a sock, her jeans, all of her clothes leading a trail to his bedroom. He entered and his breath caught at the sight before him. She had his nightstand light on dim, casting a faint glow on her bare back. She was lying facing away from the doorway, staring out at the scenic view from his penthouse apartment, her hips barely covered by his sheet and he couldn't tear his eyes away from the scene before him. He climbed into bed behind her, still clothed in black tank top and sweats.

"This...Isn't what we're about Jude." He was saying it badly he knew, even as his fingers couldn't resist caressing her bare hip. Her naked body was wreaking havoc on his thought process. She turned her head, fiery hair sliding from her shoulder, and looked at him.

"Do you want me?" She had always demanded honesty from him and he found he could not deny her.

"Always..." His low husky tone caressed her senses as she twisted her neck to taste his mouth, her hand twining around his neck to cup the back of his head. He pulled back to removed his tank top and then his lips founds hers again as he pulled his pants off. His hand kneaded her soft breast eliciting a moan from her as the callused pad of his thumb rubbed at the taut peak of her nipple. He knew how she liked to be touched and used the knowledge shamelessly.

He took her leg, lifting it to place it on top of his so she was open to his touch. Her head fell back to lie against his shoulder as his teeth grazed the sensitive skin of her neck, his fingers caressing the silky skin of her inner thigh. She was already wet as his hand drew closer to her core. He slicked the moisture around the nether lips, before plunging his middle finger into her heat. She cried out at his intrusion as her flesh clung to him so sweetly. He pulled back, realizing if he didn't stop now to look for protection, he wouldn't be able to. His mind was drawing a blank, since he had not thought about condoms since he had gotten to the city. He started to draw away from her, but she placed a hand on his hip, holding him there.

"It's alright. I'm on the pill." She said, embarrassed, but wanting him deep inside her more. He let the questions go as her fingers wrapped around his arousal, and she started to stroke the length of him. He took her wicked teasing hand away from him and position himself at her entrance. He plunged in, making her breath hitch. He placed her hand at the juncture of her thighs, and with his fingers covering hers, tangled them into the delicate folds of her skin, searching out her delicate nub. He thrust into her over and over as they jointly teased her flesh, until she couldn't stop the cries from escaping her lips. He used his hand to sweep her hair from her shoulder so he could nip at her neck.

She continued to touch herself as he pushed against her willing flesh and when his hand joined hers again she came, almost bucking against him. Her tightening flesh drew him so close, but it was her hand that went between both their legs to squeeze his balls that drove him over the brink. He bit down on her shoulder as he seemed to come for what felt like minutes. The feel of him inside of her, skin to skin had driven their lovemaking to a new level.

.

Jude lay with her head on Tommy's shoulder, her arm wrapped around his chest, his fingers stroking her red curls.

"Tommy I'm sorry." She said softly.

"For what? You didn't do anything wrong."

"Telling myself you didn't care..."

"Did you really believe it?" He waited with bated breath for her answer, needing to know whether she had really lost her faith in him.

"I wanted to..." She said hesitantly.

"Why?"

"Because it was easier to be angry, than to miss you." She admitted finally, to herself as much as to him. " Not that I didn't miss you anyway." She said with a hint of the sardonic in her tone.

"Jude there's something I promised myself I wouldn't tell you, but..."

"What Tommy? You know you can tell me anything."

"I love you girl. That's why I had to leave. You weren't ready for all this. But I should have told you the whole truth." He looked at her closely to make sure she really understood this time. She did understand his reasons better now than when he had first left and in that instant she forgave him every hurt he had caused, because she loved him too.

Jude went on to explain her reason for taking the Pill, without him having to bring it up, knowing he was wondering. He found himself angry at her words, seeing it would have hurt Jude that her mother showed such a lack of faith in her own daughter. Victoria had only allowed Jude to go on tour with Shay if she agreed to go on the Pill, even though Jude had sworn vehemently that nothing would happen. Tommy kissed her cheek softly and she smiled against his skin.

"It's okay....I mean I guess she did have reason to worry." Jude said, but her words did not sound convincing to someone who knew her too well. Her mom had been having a hard time since her Dad had left and she couldn't find it in herself to stay angry at her.

"You know what I miss?" He asked trying to lighten her slightly pensive mood.

"What?"

"Creating a song with you." He untangled himself from her and got up, holding his hand out to her.

"Now?" He nodded and put his boxers back on as she slipped on the dress shirt he had been wearing earlier.

"I want to know how you felt after I left Jude." He said as they sat on the piano bench, their thighs pressed together. He wanted to know what had made her tense against him earlier and she had never been able to hide what she felt when she sang.

"I don't know Tommy..." She said hesitantly, not wanting to let him know how much she had been hurting, because he had obviously been the cause of that pain.

"Please?" He begged in his little boy way that melted her into a puddle at his feet. He played a few bars and she found words coming to her, in spite of her reservations.

__

You said I was your everything. You said I was the one.

He nodded and grinned.

"I like it. Chorus?" He continued to play as she thought. The melody he found was haunting, deserving deeper words this time around.

_Tell me you love me like a star_

And he did as he watched her face light up. She always shone so bright, he had never been able to keep his gaze from her.

.

_Tell me you want me wherever you are_

He had never stopped wanting her, not for a single instant since they had met.

.

__

Tell me you breathe me til your last breath

And he thought he could so easily. She was enough for him.

.

__

Liar Liar

His hands fumbled on the keys and she looked at him in panic, that she had sung the wrong thing.

"It's okay." He assured her though the accusation had rocked him to the core.

"I didn't know...I'm sorry..."

"Shhh...I didn't tell you." He took her face in his hands and touched his lips to her in the barest caress. Her hands covered his, framing her face, as he gazed into her blue eyes, made dark in the dimly lit room. "Maybe you should get some sleep." he suggested, but she shook her head.

"I won't..." She stared at him so intensely as if she blinked he would disappear again. He knew she didn't fully trust him in that instant and it hurt more than he thought it would.

"Then let's get this song done for your next platinum album." He started to play again, watching her close her eyes to find the music deep inside. They were inspired that early morning and the music and words came rather quickly.

.

__

You used to love that I had no shame

His fingers stilled on the ivories and he turned to look at her with heat in his eyes. He had always loved her open responses to his touch. He puts his hand to her shoulders and skimmed her flesh as he slid the shirt off of them, where the shirt caught on her upper arms. The tops of her breasts were visible and his fingers went to stroke the silky skin. He swung one leg over the bench so he could face her more fully as his head lowered to the spot where neck and shoulder joined. She swung one leg over so that she too straddled the seat. Her hands went to fist in his soft hair, the customary hair gel having been left out after his shower. His lips made a trail lower until his hot breath hovered above the swell of one breast. He undid the next button of the shirt and it was enough to let the material pool to her waist, her arms still tangled in the sleeves. He took a taut nipple in his mouth and the feel of his teeth grazing against the sensitive flesh caused her to cry out. He sucked on the nub, and a tugging sensation occurred lower on her body in response. He moved to the other breast with his hot mouth, both of his hands resting high up on her thighs, thumbs facing inwards, touching the edge of her curls.

"Tommy..." She begged as her hands moved to his bare back and she raked one hand up his spine, causing a shiver to work through his body. He wasn't sure how he managed it, but he got his boxers off without falling off of the bench. His hand went to the middle of her chest and pressed her down gently so her back touched the varnished wood. His hands went to her ass to pull her lower body closer to his, her legs outspread on either side of him, her thighs resting on the top of his. Tommy's palm lay flat between her breasts and he slid it down slowly, to her belly and then lower to the juncture of her thighs. His arousal nudged insistently against her wet opening and their eyes met as he pressed in.

His hands grasped her hips to hold her steady as he began to thrust into the velvet glove of her body, the noises she made driving him insane. She wrapped her legs around his and her lower back bowed off the dark wood. Jude's hands sought something to grab onto and they finally found the legs of the piano bench as he started to pound into her more vigorously. The angle had him deep inside of her and she could feel every inch of him sliding against her over-sensitized flesh. She cried out as he pushed into her over and over again, not letting up on his brutal pace. And her pleasure spiraled out of control as she went, on a scream. He joined her almost immediately as she convulsed around him, squeezing him so tightly.

.

They jammed so much into the short hours left to them that night. She had to be back at the hotel before people started waking because then she would be unable to sneak back unnoticed. She asked him flat-out what they were doing and the answer did not satisfy the part of her that wanted him as close as possible right then, but it did give her hope. He told her honestly that he hoped the timing would not always be wrong for them.

"If it feels right in a couple of years we'll try again."

"When I'm 18?" She asked, needing to know where they stood.

"Could we wait until you graduate? Dating a highschooler still wigs me out." He admitted, making her give a small laugh, even though to her graduation was so far away. At her age, 2 full years seemed like a lifetime, but she could only nod, because he would not change his mind and she knew it.

.

He walked her outside at 5 in the morning to meet the cab he had called. She told him she would call him on the road, but he had told her to have a good time and wait until she got back home. She had had to smile when he said to make sure not to get arrested. Apparently he had been once or twice in his wilder Boyz Attack days. There were few people on the streets at this hour, so he took a chance and bent to kiss her one last time before straightening and shutting the taxi door. Her hand went up to the glass in a small wave as the car started off and she turned her head to look out the back as his form got smaller and smaller.


	19. Chapter 19

_The songs in this chapter are Apologize by Timbaland/One Republic and God's Gift by Kate Hall. As always reviews give me a better sense of how you are enjoying the story. And thank you to everyone who does. I'm sorry I don't always have time to personally reply, but they do mean alot! ENJOY!_

**Chapter 19**

Jude turned back around when the car turned the corner and leaned her head back. Her hand went into her jean jacket pocket and she felt something hard and rough edged inside. When she took her hand back out there was a key ring and on it a key fob with a crest of some kind, a car key with a remote, and a house key. Her other hand immediately went to her phone and she turned it on ignoring the messages on it, to call him.

"Hey..." Tommy answered on the second ring, having just poured himself some water. Their activities had left him a bit dehydrated. He took a long swallow as he listened to her, knowing what she would say.

"Why do I have keys?" He was too tired to tease her, even though the thought had crossed his mind.

"Well...I thought if you ever needed a place to stay or just to get away..."

"Really?" She asked in delighted surprise. Was it really a wonder that she had fallen for him? When he was sweet he blew everyone out of the water and when he wasn't he was slightly dangerous and so sexy.

"Just don't total my Porsche okay?" He pleaded as he drank some more water.

"Thank you...." She said softly.

"Your welcome." Though they could not see each other their smiles were identical.

.

Jude slipped into her hotel room quietly and shut the door. As she turned she found her bedside lamp was on and a figure was lying on top of the other double bed. She jumped in surprise and let out a small noise as the figure stirred to reveal a dark haired woman. Melissa sat up immediately with a scowl on her face as she saw her young charge by the door. Jude cringed a little as she saw how the woman she had just met that week giving her that mom stare that made every child no matter how old, a little bit apprehensive.

"Where the hell have you been?!" Melissa asked in an angry tone that had Jude wincing as she took her jacket off and dropped it off on the desk chair, steeling herself before she turned back. Jude had never been the best liar, but she had been getting a lot of practice these last few months and had gotten a little better.

"I told you I was gonna watch some movies with the boys in their room. I fell asleep." Melissa gave her a disbelieving look and crossed her arms.

"Try again." Jude had thought about what to say on the short ride back here.

"Alright... I went to see a friend." If pressed she would say it was Kat although the internship her friend had won that summer didn't start until the following week. Kat and Jude had both been disappointed that they wouldn't be able to spend time together in the amazing city. Melissa wasn't sure she bought the story. "What's the big deal?" Jude asked, it's not like the other woman took her chaperoning duties all that seriously. Jude and SME had gone clubbing with Shay and his boys a couple of nights that week and Melissa hadn't cared as long as she had known where they were.

"Because I'm responsible for your safety." Melissa was only in her late twenties and knew what it was like to be a teenager. She didn't care what they did as long as they were safe and didn't get arrested. "And I had no fucking clue where you were. Why didn't you at least turn your cell phone on?!"

"I'm sorry..." Jude said as she started getting some clothes from her bag to change into after her shower. Melissa sighed warily, sensing Jude would give her no more answers and stood up, grabbing her stuff from the nightstand.

"Remember we have to be on the bus by 7:30." She said and Jude nodded, before she slipped out the door.

.

.

Jude got on the bus and flopped beside Spied, exhausted. She had still not slept and was starting to feel the effects of her activities last night. She looked a little rough as he stared at her in puzzlement.

"Melissa was looking for you last night. She caught me at vending. You said you were watching movies with us. Where were you?" Spied asked in a low voice as others started to get on the bus.

"I...went to see Kat. She has that internship here remember?" Jude muttered as she put her sunglasses on and closed her eyes. Spied didn't ask more questions, but her answer did not quite add up. Wouldn't Jude have invited Kat to the concert? Jude slumped lower in her seat and her head fell onto Spied's shoulder. She was out in an instant.

.

.

They had just made it to the arena of the next concert later that day and Jude was waiting for Shay to finish his sound check before she and SME did theirs. Melissa stood a few feet away and gave her a stern look, as she listened on her cell phone. She started over to Jude and handed it to her.

"It's Darius. He wants to talk to you." Jude took it with apprehension. She did not know the big man that well and he was a bit intimidating.

"Hey Darius." She said in a small voice.

"Where the hell were you last night Jude?! You're still a minor and your welfare is my responsibility on this tour. " She flinched at his deep, demanding voice.

"I just went to see my friend Kat. She has an internship in New York." He really didn't care what her excuses were. Her behavior was simply not acceptable to his controlling personality.

"I should tell your parents about this." He warned.

"My mum would pull me out of the tour if you told them. Is that what you really want?" There was silence for a moment before he replied.

"No...I won't say anything to them." He said begrudgingly.

"Thanks D." Jude said in a relieved tone. She was already so amazed by this whole touring process and half in love with performing in front of so many people.

"This is your only warning Jude. You have a chaperone for a reason. And you owe me now."

"Okay..." Would she have done things differently if given the chance? No. To her Tommy was always worth any price. Although she didn't know it then, the rest of the tour Jude would have to share a room with her chaperone.

.

.

They sang Waste My Time to frenzied fans and Jude was surprised she was having such a good time with Shay. Of course he had always been fun to be around, at least when he wasn't being a cheating SOB anyway. Gone were the overwhelming nerves of the first performance, not that she did not still break a sweat when she saw the sea of people out there in the audience. Shay reached his hand out to Jude and she took it as they did the dance that was in the video. Although unplanned it was fun as they sang the rest of the song. She also remembered the expected kiss that followed , so when Shay who stood next to her leaned down she didn't back away. She was mildly curious if he could still make her feel something.

It was nothing as his lips pressed against hers, not that she really expected much, but her wicked side let him feel how good she could be and she kissed him back expertly. It changed nothing for her. She could tell Shay was surprised and a little excited at her response. But for her there had been no room for anyone else since Tommy. Soon enough they pulled apart to the roar of the crowd. They both headed off stage to their respective dressing rooms, Jude done with her portion of the concert and Shay getting ready for his. Only one of them continued to think of the powerful kiss, while the other thought of someone else.

.

.

"Hey baby." He whispered into her curly locks as his arm snaked around her waist. She jumped a little, startled by his touch and whirled to stare at him.

"What are you doing?" Jude asked Shay in barely concealed outrage.

"I know you're not really with your guitarist Jude. Be honest...You still want me." Her eyes were wide as she stared at him. He had to be kidding! Did he really believe she would jump back into his arms after he had cheated on her with Eden?! "You haven't dated anyone since we broke up." She shook her head, unable to believe he could be so sure of himself. And hated that she couldn't tell him she had indeed been 'busy' with another man.

"I have not been waiting for you to come back Shay. Don't you think I would have called you if I was still interested?" She couldn't hide the slightly sarcastic note that slipped through.

"So why'd you kiss me back?" He looked a little less cocksure now as he started to realize maybe his plan to get her back would not be as easy as he had first thought. He should have gotten the clue when he realized she wasn't quite the same naïve 15 year old he had dated.

"Oh please. It was for the show. You should be the first person to get that it looked good." She had been having a good time, while he had been getting the wrong idea. Figures! She never seemed to be on the same page as men in her life.

"I don't believe you Jude. That kiss...You can't fake something like that." That kiss had been so full of heat he had wondered why he had ever been tempted by Eden. Of course back when they had dated Jude had not kissed him like that. Jude rolled her eyes and grabbed Charles, one of the tech guys, before he could walk past them.

"I need an honest opinion." She said to him. He gave her a small smile, never one to refuse a pretty woman. She pulled him down by the lapels of his jacket and pressed her mouth to his, shocking the hell out of both men. Charles was a little dazed when Jude finally released him. "So did you believe I was into you? That I wanted you more than any other man?" Charles nodded numbly, feeling a trickle of sweat run down his back. If that was fiction he couldn't imagine her when she was playing with truth. He probably would have had a heart attack.

"Do you want to go out with me?" He asked only half joking, that girl could seriously change his mind about dating musicians. She shook her head, giving him a mocking grin and Charles took the hint to leave.

"Like I said Shay. It was an act." Charles was still within hearing distance when he heard her words and had to hide the snigger behind a cough. Apparently Shay couldn't have any woman he wanted. Jude was done with the conversation and turned to go, leaving him standing there wondering how to change her mind.

.

.

Three concerts later T-Bone was at Jude's dressing room door insisting she go watch Shay's performance. She followed him, slightly annoyed that he had tried to summon her like when they had first met and T-Bone had been told to tell her she was going out with Shay and even what color clothing to wear. Shay saw her standing on the side of the stage and gave her a cocky grin before he addressed his adoring fans again.

"I have a new song tonight for a special woman in my life and it's a little different from my usual style." He paused for a moment for effect before continuing. "Just like she is." He turned his head to wink at Jude again before the music started.

SME walked up behind Jude and they all watched as Shay began to sing something not rap.

.

__

I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
And I'm hearing what you say  
But I just can't make a sound  
You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down  
But wait...  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around and say..

That it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

.

Spied had to grab Jude by the waist when she made a lunge towards the stage. It was a good thing the speakers were plenty loud because the obscenities coming from her mouth were truly awe inspiring and some of the things she said Shay should do were physically impossible. Kyle helped Spied pull Jude back, since she was surprisingly strong in her anger.

.

__

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
(But that's nothing new)  
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue  
And you say  
Sorry like the Angel Heaven let me think was you,  
But I'm afraid

.

That arrogant asshole claimed to have loved her?! She would show him where he could shove that love!

"Don't get mad." Spied whispered into her ear and she whipped her head around in her frenzied rage. "Get even." Her bright eyes started to dim back to normal as she contemplated his words.

.

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
Woahooo woah_

_It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah yeah  
I said it's too late to apologize, a yeah_

_I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off the ground..._

_._

Shay put two fingers to his lips and then gestured towards Jude who simply watched him with quiet eyes. He had done it to get her angry, hoping for a reaction because the other side of anger was passion. He loved her fire and thought fanning it would get her to admit how she really felt about him. His fans voiced their love of his new song and she shook her head as she turned to leave with her band.

.

.

Tommy found himself alone at the studio yet again, pulling another late nighter. It was harder than he had expected to fall back into his normal routine of having drinks after work and meeting people, mainly women. He found the single life he had fallen back into didn't quite feel the same; it felt emptier, hollow and he knew it was because for a brief time she had been in it. He had felt protective of her from the start and examining, actually thinking about his past experiences to help her had changed him in inexorable way. Because he had never actually delved into his past to learn from it, but ironically a 16 year old had forced him to look at it through different eyes. A girl had forced 23 year old Tommy Quincy to see his past actions and learn from his mistakes. She had made him grow up.

His hand slid the control up as he listened to the bass line again and he unconsciously shook his head to clear images of her from his mind. She was everything good and pure and brilliant that had entered his life in recent years and if he was honest with himself, which itself was a rare occurrence, he didn't know if he was good enough for her. He let the vocals carry his thoughts away from her and let his mind focus on the music blasting into his headphones.

.

.

"Everyone I have a special song I'd like to debut tonight in response to the amazing song Shay dedicated to me at the last show. This one's for you babe." She held onto Shay's hand before he could leave the stage after they finished Waste My Time. There had been no staged kisses since he had sang to her the other night and he hadn't really expected any. He nodded cockily and stood to one side at her words and she rolled her eyes, before cuing the band.

She strutted around in her high heeled boots as she sang around the stage drawing in all the teenage girls that ever wanted to say F* you to a guy, empowering them and mesmerizing the boys with the sway of her hips and her confident smirk.

.

__

You got a mind  
I'm sure you do  
A great body and the money too  
You've told me twice  
That you're a star  
You've got your own show  
now at this part  
You need a woman and I'm the deal  
I can't believe what you say is for real

.

Shay didn't know enough to be worried about the lyrics quite yet. He thought she was finally giving in. She had written him a song after all, praising his good qualities. He had never met the other side of Jude that she had never exhibited in front of him or many others for that matter.

.

__

I'm truly tired now  
I'm falling asleep when you say that you are

_God's gift to a woman like me  
God's gift to the palling ever  
God's gift to me would be  
If you drive away and just keep going_

_._

Jude turned back to catch Shay's reaction to her lyrics and a big grin played on her face to his appalled expression. He had been the one who wanted to play games when she had clearly said she wasn't interested.

.  
_  
You really think  
That you're the one  
I think there's nothing new  
Under the sun  
I can't believe that you exist  
You're all the things I never missed_

Jude walked up to Spied who played his guitar with passion as they leaned against one another, showing the audience the great chemistry she had with her band. They both shared a smile as she continued to belt out the song. She wound her way over to Kyle next and then Wally, having fun with this upbeat song, leaving Shay forgotten by the side of the stage.

.

_God's gift to a woman like me  
God's gift to the palling ever  
God's gift to me would be  
If you drive away and just keep going_

_  
God's gift to a woman like me  
God's gift to the palling ever  
God's gift to me would be  
If you drive away and just keep going_

_God's gift to a woman like me  
God's gift to the palling ever  
God's gift to me would be  
If you drive away and just keep going_

_Just keep going  
Just keep going  
Just keep going_

_._

Jude made her way back to center stage as her song drew to a close and she could see the fans had been energized by her music.

.

__

God's gift to a woman like me  
God's gift to me would be  
God's gift to a woman like me  
God's gift to  
God's gift to me would be  
If you drive away and just keep going

.

She turned her head and blew Shay a kiss before turning back to the fans and taking a bow, her tousled hair falling sexily forward. The lights dimmed and they all headed off stage as the techies prepared for Shay's act. Jude group hugged SME as they all bounced around exhilarated by the performance.

"Now wasn't that better than getting mad?" Spied asked her with his little puppy dog grin. Jude nodded and smiled at him exuberantly.

.

._  
_

Tommy heard some disturbing news on the industry grapevine that had him looking up a number he had never used before. He had seen some of the antics Jude had been up to on tour in the tabloids, but paid them little attention. This was something totally different from a reliable source, concerning her future. His first instinct, as always was to protect her.

.

._  
_

He waited impatiently as the bus pulled in to the G-Major parking lot. He had missed her so much this summer and he had to know if she had changed her mind about giving him a chance. He had talked to Jude on the phone when the tabloids came out with speculations of Jude and Shay getting together again and she had reassured him that that would never happen. He believed her, because he needed to, most of his hopes were riding on her decision.

Jude got off first and had a big smile for him when she spotted him. She went up to him and immediately gave him a big hug. He took this for a positive sign. He was euphoric as they pulled apart and he gazed down at her.

"I missed you! You look different Andrews." Jude said in surprise studying his face. "How'd you get so cute?"

"Contacts. Better to see you with my dear." The smile was quickly wiped off his face when SME got off the bus and Spied walked over to them. Spied said hi to Jamie before he turned his attention on Jude. He put his arm around Jude's waist possessively and whispered into her ear. She gave him a small smile before he let go to join his band-mates.

"You...and Spied are together?" Jamie choked out. Jude shrugged.

"Um...I don't know...Maybe I guess." They had shared a kiss just two days ago and although it hadn't been burning with passion, it had been nice in it's own way. She enjoyed Spied's laidback attitude and the way they clicked musically. She and Tommy had always been so intense, it had taken a lot of energy, this was a welcome change. She thought she was ready to see where it would go.

"But what about us?" Jamie asked in confusion. He had loved her since they were both six years old.

"Jamie...." She didn't know what to say. It wasn't like she had led him on.

"You said you were in a bad place when you left seven weeks ago. How does that translate to hooking up with your guitarist?" She didn't like how he was grilling her and frowned.

"I worked some stuff out okay? Look you're my best friend...but I never saw it as being anything more." Jamie tightened his hands into fists and gritted his teeth.

"Let's go." He finally said. "You're mom's probably wondering where we are." She nodded and reached for the bags the driver had left on the curb.

They sat in the car in an uncomfortable silence Jude had never experience with Jamie before in all the years she had known him.

"Jamie I'm sorry...You're my best friend..." But she knew he wanted more and if he couldn't get past it then their friendship would be over.

.

Jude sat at the kitchen table while her mom made pancakes. Jamie had taken off with some lame excuse as soon as they had gotten home and Jude knew it was because she had been unable to give him what he wanted.

"So why didn't Jamie come over again?" Victoria asked in puzzlement as she flipped a J shaped pancake onto a plate.

"He...uh...said he had stuff to do." Jude's mind was not only occupied with her best friend's unhappiness however. She couldn't wait to call a certain someone, to tell him about the tour and just to hear his voice. The two of them turned their heads towards the hallway as a knock sounded.

"I'll get it." Jude called as she got up to answer it.

A tall man with light brown hair with golden highlights dressed in a gray suit, stood in the doorway. He looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties with green eyes that Jude found herself drawn to. His smile was contagious as he grinned down at her.

"Hi Jude..." She looked at him in confusion. "I'm sorry. I'm Ian." He held his hand out and she took it automatically. "Ian Rainey." She gave him the same blank look and he ran his hand through his hair, finally realizing she had no clue who he was. "Didn't Tommy call you?" He asked and her face relaxed as she shook her head.

"Hold on." She went back inside and took her cell phone from her charger. She had left the charger she had brought on tour with her in a hotel room last week and hadn't checked her voicemail since. She opened the phone and saw the numerous calls, Tommy among others had left. "So what's going on?" She asked. She heard Victoria calling from the kitchen and nibbled on her lower lip as he answered.

"I'd like to be your new manager?" He went on to explain that there had been a major shakeup at G-Major and Tommy had called as soon as he had heard the news. Someone had bought the company out from under Georgia and she would be walking into new management. Jude was still taking the shocking information in and asked the least complicated question she could think of.

"You're JP's partner?" Jude asked in surprise. Tommy had never mentioned that his former bandmate was gay and living with one of the best music managers in Canada.

"I met him when I was just starting out and Boyz Attack was 'it' back then. It seems the music business can get kind of incestuous." Jude had to give a small laugh. She couldn't argue with that. She had dated Shay, her producer and now her own guitarist after all. She found herself liking Ian immediately and invited him inside for pancakes.

Victoria eyed the man that followed Jude in and looked to her daughter questioningly. Jude explained that he was a music manager and that he was interested in representing her, begging Ian with her eyes not to mention Tommy. Her mom had never liked how close Tommy and she were and if she only knew the truth... Ian was a charming man and had her mom eating out of his hand before the morning was over although they did not discuss G-Major until Victoria excused herself from the kitchen.

"So who bought G-Major?" Jude asked as thoughts ran through her mind a mile a minute.

"I think I should let Tommy tell you that." Puzzlement was clear in her eyes as she stared at him. "So are you interested in my representation?" He usually schmoozed his clients, but sensed, and rightly that Jude was not the type to enjoy the talk.

"Do you mind if I talk to Tommy first?"

"Of course not." He could see she had something else to ask and waited patiently.

"Did Tommy say anything to you about...." Jude didn't know how to finish that sentence, if he did know about them, then she had to know he'd keep quiet, but if he didn't she didn't exactly want to inform him.

"Just that he had worked with you and you were close. And he wanted me to keep an eye out for you." Frankly Ian had been surprised when Tommy called. The Tommy he had known rarely noticed the needs of others, so when he asked if he could take Jude on as a client Ian had sensed something was up. But he did not get to the top of the business by opening his mouth to ask too many questions. His glance was speculative as he watched the young woman in front of him. She was pretty and different, very grounded it seemed, but she still had that air of naiveté he suspected that she would never get rid of. She was just one of those women men would always want to protect, although he wouldn't know that from personal experience. He wondered privately what Tommy had been up to with his former artist, but would never voice the question out loud. She had told him she would call him once she spoke to Tommy.

.

.

Jude lay back on her bed in stunned disbelief as she listened to his raspy voice on the phone.

"Darius?!' She said in utter horror. He was still angry with her over that disappearing in New York thing and the song she had written for Shay that Darius thought made his nephew look bad.

"Jude you have to watch out for him. He'll do anything for money. He had us doing Taco commercials." Jude had to laugh when he volunteered that bit of information. "Ian can help you." She didn't know Ian, but she always trusted Tommy.

"Okay..." She conceded.

"Uh Harrison I thought you didn't know how to play poker."

"I don't..." She knew what he was referring to and tried to stall.

"Let me try this again...Why are there rumors of a wild strip poker game on your tour and you winning it?" In fact there were a few photos of a half clothed Shay, a couple of his groupies and barely clothed SME leaving her hotel room in Talk National.

"Um it wasn't poker, since I don't know how to play. We played Go Fish." Tommy was so busy laughing Jude could only join him.


	20. Chapter 20

_Since i'm totally unmotivated to write right now I thought I'd post a chapter instead. ENOY!_

**Chapter 20**

Ian was at Jude's door the next morning to take her to work and a sense of nostalgia hit. How many times had Tommy shown up, looking perfect in his sunglasses and gelled hair, to pick her up? Jude raised her eyebrow at the silver Cadillac STS parked at her curb. She was so used to Tommy's sports cars it felt a little strange as she got into the luxurious cream colored leather interior.

"Nice car." Jude said to fill the silence. She was a little apprehensive at what she would find at G-Major. Ian turned his head to give her a reassuring look.

"What do you drive?" Jude sighed. It had never been the right time for her to ask her parents for a car with the pending divorce. And she figured her mom would have said no anyway, having made Sadie wait until she was 17.

"I don't have a car. I got my license right before the tour." Ian whipped his head back towards her and stared at her with a penetrating gaze that made her slightly uncomfortable. "Are you okay? You aren't going to go psycho on me or something are you?" His gaze went back to the road.

"Exactly how old are you?" Usually Ian tried to find out as much information as possible about his clients, but Jude had been sprung on him rather quickly. He had found out how well her album had done, but lacked basic personal information. He knew she was still in high school, unlike most young contracted musicians who usually opted for the tutor route, but figured she was coming into her final year.

"16. Why? Is that a problem?" Jude wondered why her age always came up and whether people judged her on her youth. Ian hid his surprise well, but inside his mind was reeling. What kind of relationship could Tommy Quincy possibly have had with a 16 year old? Sure when Tommy was in Boy Attack jail bait hadn't even been considered, but that had been years ago. They had all grown up or so he thought.

"No of course not...I didn't realize you were that young. I thought you were older for some reason."

"Thanks...I think." Ian started to talk, after a brief silence, filling her in on his role and all the information he thought she needed to know for that morning.

* * *

Jude knocked on the office door and heard a deep baritone bark to come in. The tall dark skinned man's face broke into a wide grin as he spied the girl in the doorway. She looked at the gaudy gold décor in distaste, but reigned in a comment as her gaze fell on his.

"Jude Harrison. My favorite Instant Star. Welcome back." Jude looked at him warily as he held his arms out. She hugged him a little awkwardly and as they pulled apart he gestured for her to sit, noticing the man who had come in with her for the first time. She followed his gaze and turned back.

"Darius Mills this is..."

"Ian Rainey..." Darius uttered, not giving away a hint of discomfort at the curveball thrown his way. He had dealt with Ian on more than one occasion and had met him back in the Boyz Attack days, just like Tommy had. Ian strode in nonchalantly and put his hand out for a handshake, before seating himself beside Jude.

"Good to see you again D." Ian said in a charming, faultless tone although everyone present knew it was insincere. Darius sat reluctantly being the only one left standing.

"I didn't know you knew Jude." Darius said fishing for information, that neither of them seemed in a hurry to provide. Jude sat back and crossed her legs, letting Ian do the talking like they had discussed on the way over.

"Actually we just met, but a mutual friend thought we would work well together." Ian smiled at Jude.

"So you've signed on with him?" Darius directed at Jude, not liking this turn of events one bit. Darius Mills liked being in complete control and had honed his tough façade with years of practice. He did not like surprises. Jude simply nodded.

.

.

The rest of the day was spent in a whirlwind of activity. Jude had met Darius's new vice-president Liam who seemed to have a giant poker up his you know what. Darius had tried to get a command performance at his launch party for the new G-Major, telling Jude she would be singing Stupid Girl by Garbage. Jude loved performing, but balked at the idea of singing someone else's music. Ian had convinced her finally, by telling her to know which battles were worth fighting. Although Darius seemed genuinely happy to have Jude as an artist, Ian wanted to test the waters before rocking the boat too much. But he had said if it really bothered her that much, he would simply tell Darius no, but she had given in at the end even though the thought of singing someone else's stuff still bothered her.

And then there had been the run in with another new G-Major employee, their stylist Portia, Darius's sister and Tommy's ex-wife. The woman was perfectly pleasant to Jude and she had seemed sincere. Sure Portia had been nice to Jude the one other time they had met, and she had even helped her get that cover of Solid Magazine, but something about the whole situation still seemed a little strange to her.

.

And then Jude had seen Jamie come in, trying to talk to SME, but they were blowing him off. She walked over, sensing his confusion and hating that the boy she was seeing could be such a wuss and not tell his friend the truth, that they had dropped him as their manager. She walked over slowly, until he finally looked up and noticed her. She waved her right hand awkwardly and put her hands back in the front pockets of her jeans.

"Hey..." His face was stony as he stared at her.

"Hey..." Jude couldn't take the heavy silence between them a moment longer.

"SME has a new manager!" She blurted out. He looked as if she had gut punched him. "That's why they've been blowing you off..." She said more calmly. "I told Spied he should have just come out and told you..." She sounded apologetic, even though it had nothing to do with her really. His hands clenched into fists and his face started to turn red. "Jamie are you okay?" Jude asked worriedly, reaching a hand out, that he shrugged off, before storming away from her. Jude sighed as she turned back to Darius's office. He had said her new producer would be in later that day and to stop by so they could be introduced.

.

"Hey you." Jude turned to see a familiar face and gave him a big grin as she hugged him. Jude had never thought that Kwest had particularly liked her as more than a fellow employee, but he had been really decent when Tommy had left and they had grown a little closer. "So you alright now?" He asked as he gazed down at the girl in front of him. Jude nodded, feeling so relieved that she could tell at least one person the truth.

"I saw him." She admitted.

"And?"

"I got what I needed."

"He cares about you." Kwest had seen the way Tommy had started to change.

"I know." She smiled at him. He could tell she was still a little sad, but she looked so much better than when she had left.

"So how was the tour? Tell me you didn't really kiss Shay?" They both laughed and settled into a new friendship as they talked.

* * *

Although Jude had not done any actual music work that day, it had been exhausting and she didn't think it was leftover fatigue from the tour either. She let herself into the empty house warily and dropped her bag on the couch. There were so many new faces at G-Major that her head had been spinning before she met half of them. She knew who she wanted to talk to and went straight up to her room. Sadie was obviously out somewhere, probably bragging about Italy to her friends and she had no idea where her mother was.

He picked up on the third ring, sounding a little exasperated until he realized who it was. He had told her she could call him anytime and he had meant it. He had said he would be there for her if she needed it, although from the buzz on her right now she was doing fantastic on her own. The tour had really boosted her album sales and he had been proud of her.

"So how was your first day back?" Jude ignored his question and asked one of her own.

"Guess who else works for Darius?"

"I don't know Jude...I didn't hear anything else." Tommy was tired and he walked through his living room with one hand squeezing the back of his neck. His stomach growled noisily and he tried to remember the last time he had eaten. Had it really been this morning? Wendell Records was quite a bit bigger and more formal than G-Major. Here every producer had a minimum of 3 artists at one time.

"Guess."

"Jude....I'm tired....I've been at the studio for 10 hours today."

"Your ex-wife."

"Oh..." It took him a minute to truly comprehend her words. "Portia?" He should have figured it out himself, since Darius had always looked out for his baby sister and kicked himself for being slow.

"Uh...Do you have more than one?" Jude teased.

"Be careful around her Jude. She's not as nice as she appears." Jude frowned. Portia had seemed fine to her. Tommy knew full well how Portia could act when she was upset. And if she ever got wind of anything but a professional relationship between Jude and Tommy there was no predicting what she would do. Portia Mills, Portia Quincy really since she still retained it as her professional name, was a schemer and more vindictive than everyone but Tommy gave her credit for.

"Okay..." They talked for another two hours until Victoria finally came home and insisted on fixing Jude something to eat even though it was already close to 9.

* * *

Jude had not been having the best day, understatement of the year, when she found a kindred spirit by the name of Patsy Sewer. SME was performing at a rough and tumble club/bar called The Chain and although Spied had insisted it was too much for Jude she had insisted on going, bringing Kat with her. Jude had a fake I.D. from tour and Kat had one from her internship in New York. SME were Patsy's back up band and both she and Kat watched the dark haired girl sing with her guts and a take no prisoner attitude that Jude admired right away.

Jude had been shot down by an ass of a shock jock, Van Demme, just the other day when she had gone in for an interview. He had said the only thing separating her from the other pop tarts out there was he red hair and maybe she should just go blond to save everyone confusion as to what her music was like. And that had been the least of his insults. She found she had lost her voice and her new producer Wayne Mattel had been upset by her lack of focus. Spied had not been the supporting boyfriend she had hoped for, instead teasing her mercilessly and she couldn't even find her anger.

On the way to the club Kat started grilling Jude on her choice of boyfriend. Kat still had a hard time picturing them together, especially after Jude had been with someone as hot and mature as Tommy Quincy.

"Seriously Spiederman? He was the one we made fun of in kindergarten."

"We have fun together and we jam well." Kat looked over at her friend contemplatively.

"Are you sure he's not just a rebound? I mean he's so different from Tommy."

"I...no...Spied's just lower maintenance. I like him. Things with Tommy were so hard, with the lying and the sneaking around. This is just so much easier." Kat had her doubts, but could see her friend was not ready to hear them yet. They found a parking space a block away and put the subject away.

.

Jude saw that Jamie had shown up and she made her way over to him. She took it as a good sign that he did not simply walk away.

"So what brings you here?" Jude asked.

"You are looking at G-Major's newest A & R scout. Liam recognized my talents for finding new acts_. _Realnot _manufactured_ acts." Jamie said the last part pointedly, getting Jude's blood boiling.

"Well Liam's bound to make a few mistakes, being new and all." Jude said equally cutting, before she spun away quickly, her long hair whipping around as a sexy parting gesture, leaving him feeling ashamed and angry, both.

Patsy stopped Jude later on having been briefly introduced by Spied.

"Hey Red didn't you used to peel at Peaches?"

"Um no, no I try to stay fully dressed on stage. Jude Harrison, Instant Star."

"Okay...Patsy Sewer often smashed."

"'K" They grinned at one another, drawing the attention of a few pairs of male eyes their way.

"Jude let's just go. It's past curfew." Kat spoke up, almost forgotten and feeling extremely uncomfortable in this dirty place.

"Be a good girl and listen to Tink here or a join me for a couple of elbow lifts." Patsy said mockingly.

"She's underage." Kat added.

"That's what I got the fake I.D. for." Jude hissed at Kat who looked hurt and then decided to leave.

"K don't worry about me." Kat muttered before she started to walk away. Jude let her go, although knowing she would probably regret blowing her friend off later. Kat would never understand the energy burning in her right now, but she had a feeling Patsy would. The bartender set two shots in front of them, which they both proceeded to belt down, watched by Jamie in the crowd. Jude was drinking like a pro and he wondered again what she had been doing on tour.

"Malicious mischief. Destruction of public property. Consumption of alcohol by a minor and impersonation with the intent to gain advantage. What do you have to say for yourself?" Stuart asked Jude in front of the police desk at 5 in the morning, as he signed the final papers to bring Jude home. She and Patsy had gotten shit-faced and it had seemed like a good idea to spray paint over Van Demme's ugly face on a billboard. That was where the police had caught them.

"I needed to blow off steam?" Jude asked as her head pounded. All she could think of was red liquid and Advil. "Could we stop at a convenience store Dad? I need some Gatorade." He frowned at her, but nodded. Bless Tommy was all she could think and the fact that he had told her not to get arrested. Had he meant on tour only? She would have to ask him that when her head stopped aching. She followed Stuart out after saying goodbye to Patsy.

* * *

Jude knocked on the door to the familiar house and put her hands in her pockets as she waited for him to come to the door. He looked surprised to see her, but at least there was no scowl present this time.

"Hey." She said on a long breath. "Look I just wanted to say I was sorry for springing the whole Spiederman thing on you. I could have done it better. Can you at least try to let it go?"

"I guess." He said halfheartedly.

"Patsy agreed to meet you at The Chain at 10 tonight."

"How'd you pull that off?" He asked, unable to remain aloof at the news. He had been trying to sign her, but she had blown him off.

"I told her you weren't like all the industry suits. You really care about your artists."

"Thanks."

"So see you around?" She asked hopefully, looking for some sign he had softened towards her.

"Yeah." He said it less than enthusiastically.

"Okay..." Jude bit her bottom lip as she turned to walk back to her own house. "Wait actually. Not okay!" She said more forcefully as she spun back, stopping him from shutting the door. "We have been friends for 11 years James Alan Andrews!" She was so tired of him blaming her for things she had no control over. She could not make herself want him the way he wanted her. "You would just give it up like it meant nothing because I don't want to date you?!" Jamie stared at his old friend stunned at the anger coming from her mouth.

"Jude...I..."

"You know what? Not everyone gets to be with the person they're in love with. That's life! Deal with it Andrews." She had been forced to, by a man that had loved her back, making it ten times harder than this crush Jamie had on her. There was a flash of something that resembled old pain in her sky blue eyes, but in a blink it was gone and he wondered if he had imagined it. Jude left quickly, leaving Jamie gaping at her retreating back. Why did it sound like she had personal knowledge of her own words?

* * *

Jude was at the finale for the search for the next Instant Star. When she had first heard they were running the contest again, she had felt like she was being replaced, but Ian had assured her that her album had been successful and had made D plenty of money and she held more cards than she realized. She started to understand then, why Tommy had sent Ian to her. He could stand up to Darius admirably well when many could not. Originally she had not wanted to sing at the show or perform with the contestants. Ian had told her she didn't have to do it if she didn't want, but she had reluctantly agreed yet again. Darius had slyly pointed out she owed him one and this way at least she wouldn't have to anticipate him using that favor for some other nefarious purpose.

"Hello?" Jude said holding her cell up with her shoulder as she tried to reach behind her to unzip her dress. She stood in the dressing room they had assigned her and was getting back into her own clothes to be present as they announced the winner.

"Nice dancing." Her face lit into a smile. His voice could still send chills down her back she realized.

"You saw the show?"

"Nothing says Instant Star like space prostitutes." She let out a bark of laughter. "so are they letting you keep the wig and outfit?"

"You just said I looked like a hooker in it."

"Hey I wasn't complaining."

"Perv!" She heard his laughter over the line. "So...How much do you think I'm worth?" She asked in a sultry voice. Portia walked into the room, hearing Jude's words and stopped abruptly. Wasn't her boyfriend Spiederman out in the audience? So who was the girl talking to like a lover?

"Hey I gave you my Porsche."

"Correction you let me use it. It's not like you left the Viper behind." Portia's eyes widened in shock. How many people could Jude possibly know, that owned a Viper? "Hmmm how much is a Porsche lease worth? Let's say 800 a month? Divided by 30 days? I feel cheap."

"I see your math skills have improved."

"Hey!" Jude said in mock outrage, even though she enjoyed the sound of his laughter. Portia made sure to brush against the dressing table to make some noise and Jude turned from her position behind the screen. "I gotta go." Jude said abruptly, leaving Tommy to a dial tone. He stared at the phone wondering who had interrupted their conversation. Jude slipped out of her dress and handed it to the silent woman as she averted her face to slip into her own clothes.

Mason Fox, a country singer won the show and Jude was secretly glad. He was the most down to earth of all the contestant and they had hit it off right away while she had tried to learn the dance moves to their joint performance. She wished just for a second that Tommy was there to reassure her that she would never be replaced.

* * *

Jude was feeling slightly claustrophobic at work which had never happened to her before. They were rushing to get her to complete God's Gift to release as a single before the hype disappeared. Sure Wayne was great, but he wasn't Tommy and did not understand and anticipate the way her music should sound. The atmosphere with Darius at the helm was stifling, with set studio times and time was money mantra's drilled through every employee there. With the stressful tension all the time and no way to jam at home she had finally decided to get her own place. When she spoke to her father who had her earnings invested he had flatly denied her request, telling her it was too much money. Spied had found the perfect rehearsal space rented out by a friend of Patsy's. Jude did the only thing she thought she could, for her music, she signed her trust account over to her mother on one condition. She asked for an extra $400 a month for allowance which she knew her mother had agreed to, only to one-up her father. They had been bickering nonstop, with her and Sadie stuck in the middle, and Jude found she actually wanted the divorce over and done with, even just to stop their fighting.

In the end she got her rehearsal space and lost her father, at least that's what it had felt like. He had been cold and distant ever since she had signed over the trust to her mother. They had a party to christen the place and all her and SME's friends showed up, except for Jamie. Ian even made an appearance with JP before they headed off for an early dinner. Patsy had shown up with her ex and they had jammed with no worries that anyone in this neighborhood would bother to call the cops.


	21. Chapter 21

_If you like my efforts please drop a line. ;)_

**Chapter 21**

It wasn't long before Jude caved and started asking Tommy for musical advice. She had thought for a brief time that she was supposed to do it on her own, but she realized that that didn't make sense because wasn't Wayne there helping, albeit not much or well? She learned that most producers did not fill the dual role of producer and co-writer, in that she had gotten lucky with Tommy. Jude shook her head, that had sounded dirty even in her mind. He had always been the one who got what she wanted to say the most. It became a habit of theirs to call if either of them was stuck on anything musical. Jude had even been able to help Tommy a few times with his artist. He was producing a singer/songwriter by the name of Drew Waters and although he had experience helping Jude write her music the dynamic was off for him and Drew. Jude had wound up helping more than he had anticipated. It was almost like they were still working together and he thought back to the late nights in the studio where he had been, surprisingly, content. He had wondered when he left Toronto, if he would eventually stop thinking about Jude so much and move on, but it didn't seem like he had, not even a little. He had no good experience with relationships and in some ways he had been learning with Jude, even though he had never told her so.

* * *

Jude was pleasantly surprised to learn that Tommy's hangover trick had worked yet again, mostly. The pain in her head was only a dull ache and she was fine as long as she kept her sunglasses on and of course the car she was driving warranted sunglasses anyhow. She thought back to last night as she drove to meet her friend. Now one more person knew some of her secrets and it felt freeing somehow, not to have to hide that part of herself away. Who knew hardcore types played drinking games too.

.

__

Jude sat at one of the tables of the chain with Patsy's ex Iggy, her occasional drummer Curt, Marigold, seriously that was how she was introduced to Jude, and Wayne. They were all a little buzzed and a little bored as Patsy suggested they play I Did, which Jude learned was Patsy's own twisted version of I Never. If anyone had done the thing that was mentioned they got to drink. It was also a good way to hoard liquor if you had done a lot in your life. Jude looked apprehensive as she stared at her new friend.

"Honestly Patsy, what could I possibly have done that you have?" She was only 16 after all and had never been all that wild and crazy. Patsy grinned at Jude a little evilly.

"You're not nearly as innocent as you look Red. Ol' Pat's can tell." Patsy tapped her head. "How's this? I did have sex with an older man." She winked at Iggy who Jude thought was at least in his late twenties if not older. Jude looked around the table warily, but didn't think any of these people would care or remember her secrets. She knocked back a long sip of her Long Island Iced Tea, joining Patsy and Marigold. Shay had told her once that the drink actually had no tea in it, but something like 5 shots of different liquors. Jude shrugged to herself; it still tasted good to her, strangely like a version of tea.

"Aww I knew it! Your virginal act isn't bad, but I see the way you smile when guys check you out!" Patsy almost yelled in triumph. Jude had to laugh. As the game progressed, Jude's inhibitions were mostly gone after she finished off her potent drink and was working on her next.

"How's this? I did have a song written about the way I gave head?" Jude said unabashedly as she took another drink. The whole group was laughing at that one although no one else drank, predictably. Patsy asked Iggy how come he had never written any songs about how she screwed. Later on after the crowd had thinned, Jude and Patsy sat at the bar while, Iggy and Wayne stayed at the table.

"Pat's have you ever been in love?" Jude asked bleary-eyed as she stared at her equally smashed friend.

"I think so. Why?"

"How do you get over it?" Jude said more sadly than she realized. When her defenses were down like this the ache from missing him was almost unbearable.

"Is it that older guy?" Jude nodded and found her head slipped from the hand it was resting on. "Was he good to you?"

"Yeah..."

"Dunno Red. The asshole I was in love was, was...an asshole." Jude laughed. Patsy did have a way of making her feel better. Patsy called Spied to come get Jude after she finished yet another drink. Who knew that skinny girl could hold that much liquor in her. Patsy rolled her eyes at the frown Spied gave Jude when he got there. Patsy liked being free without a guy to tell her what to do. He stumbled out, supporting most of Jude's weight.

In the car he tried to ask Jude what was wrong, but she mumbled incoherently. Sure they had drank some on tour, but he had never seen her this drunk before. Jude curled into a ball against the door, as if trying to ward off some unseen force. When in fact she was trying not to think of another man. Even Jude in drunken stupor could tell Spied was not happy with her as he helped her up to her room, trying to be as quiet as possible, afraid that her mom would wake at any moment. Maybe she should have told him she was hanging out with Patsy.

.

She screeched to a halt in the parking lot of a pizza joint right outside the city limits where she had told Kat to meet her. She couldn't chance anyone seeing her drive the Porsche in town after all. Jude rolled down the window and grinned at her best friend, who was leaning on the hood of her own beat up car, dubbed the Katmobile. Kat looked at her with her mouth wide open.

"Hey baby wanna go for a ride?" Kat quickly got into the passenger side and looked over at Jude.

"He let you use his Porsche?!" Jude shrugged as she pulled out onto the road. "I thought you guys broke up."

"We're still friends Kat." Jude remembered what she had said to Tommy the last time they had met. They couldn't be friends...So what were they? She frowned for a second, but put it away not up to analyzing their relationship.

.

It was a beautiful Fall day and the girls had the windows rolled down and the radio blasting as Jude sped down the highway to the mall that was an hour out of the city. They sang along to cheesy 80's music and their laughter filled the air. Jude was glad Kat didn't seem to be giving her the cold shoulder or anything. Her friend had seemed upset that Jude was spending time with Patsy, not understanding what she saw in the other girl. In fact Kat had asked Jude if she wanted to go to a movie last night and Jude had said she had promised to see Patsy play at The Chain, but Kat was welcome to come along. Kat had declined rather coldly and Jude had cajoled Kat into going out today instead.

There were major sales going on at the music store at Westlake Mall and also in the clothing stores, but because of the distance of the place they had never discussed going in previous years. Kat had said her car wasn't safe on the highway and Jude had said she had a loaner she could use. Kat snorted remembering Jude's words about a loaner. She was still a little upset at Jude for spending time with that walking goth nightmare, but at least Jude had kept her promise about today. It had been hard for Kat lately, with Jude always so busy and Jamie....Ugh she didn't want to even think about that boy.

"You must be really good in bed." Kat said as she scanned the luxurious interior, running her small hand over the dashboard. Jude looked over at her with her mouth open.

"Kat!" They stared at each other and burst into laughter.

.

The day had been a success. Kat had gotten some great deals on fabrics and clothes and Jude had found some awesome Indy rock Cd's and even gotten a few articles of clothing herself at Kat's insistence. They were headed back to Toronto to catch dinner and a movie and both girls felt good about their friendship again.

"I wonder how fast this baby goes." Kat commented as she turned her head to look out at the trees blurring by. Jude had opted to take a country road, since the day was still so nice and although it took a little longer to get home the scenery was beautiful. Jude grinned at Kat and shifted as her foot hit the gas. The rush last only a few minutes as Jude's eyes widened in horror. She saw the flashing lights in the rearview mirror.

"Ohmygod! Kat what do I do?!" Jude practically screamed at her equally panic stricken friend. Kat had never been stopped by the cops before either.

"Pull over!" Jude braked a little too hard as she slowed to pull off on the side of the road. Dust was actually clouding the air around the Porsche. "Okay Jude a little charm. There's a reason why women get less tickets than men." Kat reached for Jude's chest and unbuttoned two more buttons before Jude thought to stop her. "Lick your lips." And Jude did, not even bothering to wonder why she was listening to her friend at all. Jude Harrison was no vixen!

"I don't know how to flirt with him!" Jude saw the officer approaching from the side mirror. Kat reached inside the glove box and got the registration as Jude took her practically new license from her bag. She looked at it a second time to make sure it was the real one and not the one she had used last night.

"You rocked the world of the most eligible bachelor in Canada. Use it!" Kat commanded and if the situation wasn't so scary for Jude she would have laughed. Jude had the window rolled down as he got to the car. She was afraid to even look at his face, but when he asked for her license and registration she finally found her nerve and let her lashes brush the skin beneath her eyes, before she raised those big baby blues coyly up to meet his gaze. He stared down at her through his sunglasses and although she couldn't see his eyes, she was surprised to see how young he was, no more than his mid twenties at most. He also appeared kind of cute in that preppy military way, with his buzz cut and straight posture. He took the paper she handed him, but his gaze did not leave her face as he studied her features. She bit her lip nervously, remembering how Tommy had once told her how provocative that gesture could be.

"Did I do something wrong officer?" She said a little breathlessly, channeling Marilyn in her heyday and Kat looked at her in stunned amazement. Who knew Jude had it in her, well besides Tom Quincy that is. The man's face was all serious and stern as he eyed her, but then he removed his sunglasses and a smile cracked his lips. He handed the license and registration back to her.

"You were going 123 in a 80 Km/h zone Ms. Harrison." Jude tried to look surprised.

"I was?" She said innocently. "I'm soo sorry it will never happen again. It's just, this is the first time I've driven such a fast car." Okay that was a blatant lie. She had driven Tommy's Viper after all, not that she had been allowed to go much past the speed limit with Tommy sitting beside her.

"Sign this please." He handed her his clipboard with notepad on it. She looked at him in confusion. "I'm a fan." Her mouth opened in an 'O' as she took the proffered clipboard.

"Call me Jude. So what's your first name?" She said as she glanced at his nametag. M. Martine.

"Matt." He grinned at her as she signed the paper with a standard line about best wishes or some such. She handed him back the paper and pen, trying to smile as her heart still raced. "Hey I was wondering if you could do me a favor." Jude gulped and smiled again.

"Anything..."

"My sister was a huge fan of Boyz Attack. I was wondering if you could get her a signed picture from Little Tommy Q. Her birthday's coming up and I'd be the best big brother ever." Apparently he had noticed who the car was registered to even though he had barely scanned the page. Jude nodded mutely as he wrote down his sister Beth's name and address on the same notepad before handing her the slip of paper. "Oh and my number's at the bottom if you ever need anything." He said it with a spark in his eye, even someone who wasn't so used to men flirting with her, could ignore.

"Okay..." Jude was not quite sure what to say as he walked back to his car. She looked over at Kat who looked as stunned as she felt. The laughter took a moment and they both felt better afterwards.

"He was so totally flirting with you!" Kat accused as they drove back, at a more sedate speed this time.

* * *

Jude walked into the house after a brief stop at the studio on Sunday morning to hear her mom calling her from the kitchen. She went in and saw Victoria sitting at the table with a stack of bills in front of her, the checkbook out and her reading glasses on.

"Would you care to explain to me young lady how you managed to go over your 500 minute allotment by 400 in one month?! And these numbers you keep calling. Who is so important in New York that you can't go without talking to them for more than a few days at a time? " Because the calls were out of country they didn't list the name of the person being called, only the state itself. Victoria waved the cell phone bill at her daughter. Jude bit her bottom lip and shrugged. She just hoped her mother did not look too closely to the times a lot of those calls were made, since they were way past when she should have been asleep. Jude had actually fallen asleep in the middle of a conversation more than once, waking in the morning with her phone leaving an imprint on her cheek.

"Jude just because you've made some money with your music does not mean you can spend it all as you like. You need to save some of that for University." Jude's eyes whipped up to her mother who was busy rifling through another stack of envelopes. They had never discussed Jude continuing her education; high school was torture enough in Jude's opinion. It wasn't like she was gifted academically like Sadie was; her interest had always lain elsewhere. Jude was wisely silent, knowing mentioning her mother's plans for university would gain her nothing now. She had only just started her junior year after all. There was plenty of time to fight about it later, especially since her mother still seemed so fragile these days. Sure she had gone out on a few dates, but Jude had a feeling the men had not been able to make Victoria feel better about herself. Maybe it was too soon. How long did it take to get over a man you once loved with your whole heart? In that instant she wasn't thinking of her father.

"Could you maybe upgrade the plan?" Jude asked instead and her mom sighed and nodded in defeat. She knew Jude would not stop calling her friends simply because she did not like it and Jude was paying for it herself. Her youngest daughter was growing up so fast in that music world Victoria could not quite understand or empathize with and she barely seemed to need her at all. She was always out with her friends or working or with her new manager and Victoria would have worried if Jude hadn't told her Ian was gay and had a partner as he called JP.

"Jude you know you can always quit if it's too much for you right? I know your father expects you to make music, but it's up to you." Jude gave her mother a small distracted smile as her thoughts went to what Tommy would say when she asked for his autograph. She had not called last night, figuring he would be out on a Saturday night and she and Kat had gotten home after midnight, after watching a late show.

"Mom it's all I've ever wanted." At least it was until she had met a certain blue eyed ex-boybander. Victoria nodded, accepting her answer. Jude had always been into music, ever since Stuart had first played his vinyl collection to his barely one month old daughter. She had always seemed to stop crying when Pink Floyd came on as her father had learned early on. He however had not shared that piece of information with Victoria until she had snapped during one of Jude's crying fits. Even as a baby Jude had had quite the set of lungs on her, barely seeming to need to stop for air before she continued bawling. Victoria had looked on with stunned amazement when Stuart put The Wall on the turntable and as soon as the notes started Jude became silent.

"So who's so important in New York?" Victoria asked the dreaded question. Jude had never been good at lying to her parents.

"Tommy..." She uttered, not having the nerve to look her mother in the eye. Phone calls didn't have to mean anything did they?

"Tommy? As in your ex-producer Tommy Quincy?" Victoria said in a stern voice and Jude nodded. "What could a grown man possibly have to talk to a young girl about? And for hours at a time!"

"Mom! He helps me with my music...Wayne's a good producer, but he doesn't do the songwriting bit. Tommy's taught me so much." And wasn't that the truth. "And I'm not a kid anymore! When are you going to see me?" Jude hated it when anyone mentioned her youth, because it was all anyone seemed to see when they looked at her and of course because he had left because of it.

"Jude...Honey...Of course I see you..." Victoria said with concern. She reached her hand out to rub Jude's arm. She sighed deeply as she tried to think of how to explain her actions of late. "What your Father did Jude...It still hurts...But more than that...It made me question myself as a woman...I'm soo sorry I've been lost in my own problems..." She studied her daughter intently. "You are growing up so fast Jude. You can take it slower you know?" Victoria couldn't know it was way too late for that. True heartache will change a person and Jude couldn't tell her mother they had that in common. Jude nodded and gave her mother a small smile, hoping the Tommy issue would not come up again.

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey girl. What's up?" Jude leaned back among the cushions of her couch, tucking her knees to her chest, cell phone to her ear, as she let his voice sooth her.

"Do you have any old publicity photos lying around? Preferably Boyz Attack ones?" Jude asked in an embarrassed tone.

"Well Harrison I didn't know you were a fan."

"Tommy! I need an autograph. Do you have a pen and paper?" She recited the address she had been given.

"Care to tell me what this is about?"

"I kinda met this guy...And his sister is a really big fan of yours and I promised I'd get your autograph for her birthday."

"And how exactly did he knew we were connected."

"He might've seen your registration..." She mumbled so softly he had to strain to hear her. Thank goodness for the self-adjusting volume on his cell phone.

"You mean the Porsche registration?"

"Maybe..."

"Harrison! Who was this guy?"

"A fan?"

"And?" Tommy rolled his eyes. Sometimes it was like pulling teeth when she didn't want to answer a question. She was so stubborn, of course he had been accused of that himself more than once.

"A very nice police officer?" Tommy sighed. He had been afraid something like this might happen. She had improved her driving, but was still so inexperienced.

"Is the Porsche okay?"

"Fine....I was just going a little too fast..." She explained what Kat had said and what she done in response.

"123 doesn't seem that fast." Tommy grumbled, wondering how much her ticket would cost him.

"In a 80 Km/h zone?"

"Jude! How much is the ticket gonna cost?"

"What ticket?" Tommy opened his mouth in shock, glad no one could see him in his living room because he was sure he was doing a pretty good impression of a goldfish.

"He let you go with a warning?" He asked in utter amazement.

"What warning?" Jude asked innocently.

"Let me get this straight you were going 43 Km/h over the speed limit and got pulled over. The cop didn't give you a ticket, but asked for my autograph instead."

"Well he asked for your autograph for his sister. He asked me for mine for himself. Then he gave me his number in case I ever needed anything." She added a little wickedly, knowing that would get his attention.

"He was hitting on you?!" Jude grinned to herself, hearing the faint note of hysteria in his voice.

"I guess. Kat thought he was."

"How old was this guy?"

"I dunno, maybe a little older than you." Tommy put his head in his hand and groaned. Jude Harrison should not be allowed to be released out in public alone. They moved to other subjects, having always been able to talk comfortably to one another.

"Are you dating anyone?" Tommy asked, getting Jude to sit up from her half lying position on the couch, where she had been twirling her hair through her fingers.

"Spied and I kind of got together at the end of the tour." She said reluctantly. She had wondered how he would feel about that, but he gave nothing away.

"Surfer dude? Your guitarist?!" She didn't want to explain it to him, so turned the topic to him.

"Yeah...What about you? Are you seeing anyone special?" She didn't know if she wanted the answer. Even though they weren't together she still felt a claim on him.

"Girl you know you were the only one I've been monogamous with." Jude relaxed again, slumping back against the back of the couch.

"Should I congratulate you on your restraint? We were only together a few months." She said in that sarcastic way that used to get his blood boiling, but now simply found he missed.

"I miss you." He said surprising her. He usually avoided mentioning anything too personal or emotional. They both did. "Wait if you're dating Spied, who is White Lines about?" She had played the song for him to ask his opinion. Even though he wouldn't admit it, it had bothered him to hear her sing such a beautiful love song written about someone else. There was a long pause before she answered him.

"No one...It's just a song..." Jude said quietly.

"Come on I know you better than that. It wasn't about pencil neck was it?" She gave an involuntary laugh, even though she was feeling impossibly vulnerable.

"Jamie? No..." She proceeded to tell him about the airport scene before she flew to New York and coming back from tour already together with Spied. He continued to cajole and tease her, trying to get her to tell him who the mystery man was.

"It's about you!" She finally blurted, sick of their little game. She had managed to render him speechless. "When we first went on tour I was...home sick. I pretended you were still in Toronto waiting for me to come back. It made things easier somehow."

"Jude..."

"I know...It's pathetic..."

"No it's not. I understand. And honestly I'm glad."

"Glad?" She asked in bewilderment. What was there to be glad about?

"That it was about me."

"Ego much there Quincy? You have enough women telling you you're so great and hot and a good lay." He had to hide a laugh at her choice of words.

"But you know better Harrison?"

"I know enough Quincy." And she did. She probably knew more about him than she thought, more than anyone else did.

* * *

Jude's eyes roamed around the room, as Portia worked on her hair and makeup for The People's Picks awards, where Jude had been nominated for Best New Female Artist and Best Album by a New Artist. She was fidgety as Portia snapped at her once again to stay still. At least she would have the support of her friends and family. Spied was her date for the evening, Mason was taking Kat as a favor to Jude. Her friend still seemed a little hung up on Jamie and Jude had a sneaking suspicion Jamie was seeing Patsy. She still thought that was a strange combo. Since Tommy wouldn't be coming as her producer Kwest was taking his place and bringing her sister. Who knew they would hook up? Apparently they had gone on a date before Sadie had left for Italy and her sister had finally told her when she got back. But who was Jude to say anything as long as Sadie was happy. Ian and JP were the last couple to make up the two tables reserved for her. She was glad they would all be there even if the one who this album half belonged to couldn't be. She still missed him terribly sometimes and when it got bad she would put on his sweatshirt and fall asleep to his scent clinging to the cloth.

Jude held the bouquet in her hands in amazement. She had been handed the flowers when she went to accept her award for Best New Female Artist. No one had ever given her flowers before, but even she, not a girly girl in the least, knew what these represented. Maybe it was because she knew the sender so well, even without reading the card. Even though he had not been able to make it, he hadn't forgotten. There was only one person who would send something so typical as roses and still be able to distinguish himself in front of her eyes, for they were a sea of large, long stem white and amongst them one red, a little bigger than the rest. White for friendship she had heard once from Sadie and red at the center, for love. She inhaled the flowers deeply, surprised to find they actually had a scent and smiled once more out at the audience before making her way off stage via the side steps.

Spied watched his girlfriend, looking so beautiful tonight and wondered who had sent her the flowers. No one his age would think of doing something like that and not with what that bouquet probably cost and it was odd how they were all white with one red rose. He glanced over at Ian and JP and Ian shook his head. He had sent the obligatory flowers, but to her house and not here. Sadie shrugged helplessly as Kwest avoided his eyes, for besides Kat he was the only one at the table who could guess the sender of the extravagant arrangement. Jude was distracted the rest of the night, in one of those places Spied could not reach and he wondered yet again when had Jude Harrison had gotten so mysterious.


	22. Chapter 22

_Remember I love reviews! Anyway enjoy and I hope some of you remember the Bill Clinton scandal. ;)_

**Chapter 22**

Jude smiled as she saw her father's car pull up to the curb. They had made up a few weeks back when she had asked him to escort her to the premier of the horror film that had used her song Fade To Black on its soundtrack. Although Jude had an irrational fear of scary movies, she had only watched about 10 minutes of it, she had been glad to bond with her father again. Spied had been pretty understanding about it and she was grateful once again that he wasn't high maintenance. It was probably a good thing he hadn't been there anyway because one of the actor's for the movie had started blatantly flirting with her in front of her father. His name was Blake or Brad or something. He had even given her his phone number when she had refused to give him hers, and she had absentmindedly crumpled it into her jacket pocket.

Jude had bought an old '67 Mustang to work on with her father, but in the meantime she really needed her own ride. She had so many obligations these days and Sadie did not have time to chauffer her around now that she was at university. So her dad had agreed to go car shopping with her. Her mother had been surprisingly easy to convince about letting her have part of her trust to do this with, but it only made sense since it was her own money and Victoria didn't have time to drive her around either, being busy with her own job.

* * *

G-major had finally signed Patsy and Jude grinned as she heard the unintelligible screaming coming from Studio 3. Kwest, who was producing her now, and Jamie had their work cut out for them if they thought, getting Patsy to sing would be easy. She wasn't even looking as she walked right into someone. Her eyes went upwards and she took a big step back in embarrassment.

"Sorry." She said at the same time Jamie spoke. "Hey."

"So..." "Jude..." They said in unison and both laughed.

"You go first." Jamie said.

"I just wanted to tell you congratulations on signing your first artist for G-Major." His gaze was intent as he stared down at her. She seemed different somehow, more serious? No...just different.

"Thanks..." He said sincerely. "Believe it or not that means a lot coming from you." They shared a smile and Jude nodded at him.

"I'll see you around." She said before continuing on her way.

"Not if I see you first." Typical Jamie. Jude smiled to herself as she walked towards Studio 1.

* * *

Jude was at G-Major with a rhythm stuck in her head, but she couldn't seem to nail it. Her first instinct had her reaching for her cell phone and she put it to her ear as it started to ring. She asked him if he had time and although he was in the middle of a session with Drew, he stopped for her, signaling to the other man to take 5, even though he had been in the middle of a guitar solo.

"Da da da da da da da." Portia was walking towards Jude from behind when she heard the girl humming into her cell phone. Curiosity got the best of her and she did not interrupt the call. "What do you think of the beat?" Jude asked as she stopped by the hospitality area. Tommy and she discussed it some more, until he was hailed by one of his bosses. Portia frowned and walked away, wondering who Jude was always calling at work and who she turned to for help. At first she had had suspicions of her ex getting involved with Jude, but Tommy would have lost interest by now, even if he had still been in the same country. Tommy Quincy was insanely charming and handsome, but when it came down to caring about another person he just didn't have it in him.

"Hold on. I need to talk to Silas for a sec." Tommy left the phone on his soundboard as he got up to meet the man in the hallway. Drew who had been waiting rather impatiently in the sound booth got up and walked into the other room, reaching for Tommy's cell. It was not the first time Tommy had flaked out on him to take a call, but when he had called his producer on it, Tommy had said he should be thanking her for her ideas. She had been the one to see the problem in his latest song.

"So are you the one I should thank for fixing my song?" He asked as he got comfortable in Tommy's chair.

"Uh...I guess...It was good the way it was. I just changed a couple of things." Jude said startled by the unfamiliar flirty voice on the line.

"Yeah that made it actually work and sound right."

"It was nothing."

"So who do I have the pleasure of talking to?"

"Tommy didn't tell you?" Jude asked in mild surprise.

"Well it sounds like you've known him longer than I have, so you should know how tightlipped he is."

"True...You can call me Jj...J." She changed her mind at the last instant , wondering if Tommy had a reason for not telling Drew who she was, even though she found herself liking the man on the other end.

"Just J?"

"Yeah."

"Come on...How am I supposed to put a face to that sexy voice if you won't tell me who you are?"

"You'll just have to guess."

"Do you sing?"

"Sometimes..." She prevaricated, not letting on that her main job was singing.

"But you're a songwriter by profession?"

"Something like that." Well she was a songwriter...Just not usually for others.

"A woman of mystery. I like that. So are you Tommy's girlfriend?"

"No..." Truthfully she didn't know how she quite fit into Tommy's life these days.

"Then what are you doing Friday night?" Jude had to laugh at his outrageous behavior.

"You don't even know who I am or what I look like."

"As you can see I'm trying to remedy that. Besides I doubt anyone Tom Quincy knows would be a troll. Speak of...Wow he's got that scowl thing pat."

"My boyfriend nicknamed him Lord Squinty Frown." She heard him let out a bark of laughter, that she could imagine making Tommy scowl even harder.

"Damn you have a boyfriend. I better go before Tom here throws me through the glass."

"Hey." He said after snatching his phone back from Drew, throwing him a glare.

"So...Why are you keeping me a secret? We are allowed to be friends." Tommy winced on his line as he stared at the good looking musician who had gone back into the sound booth, reaching to pick up his guitar.

"You aren't a secret. I just didn't want him getting any ideas."

"What kind of ideas?" Jude asked curiously.

"He hits on every woman that comes into this place."

"Uh Quincy over 700 kilometers away here." She reminded him.

"Only an hour by plane." Jude started laughing. She couldn't help herself.

"It's alright Quincy I told him I had a boyfriend. Thanks for protecting my virtue though." Jude said amusedly once she had managed to stop laughing. There was silence on his end and Jude wrinkled her forehead. "Tommy?"

"Oh hey...I need to get back to work. They're really strict about studio time here." He said it with a forced casualness he did not feel.

"Okay..."

"Ill call you later..." He promised before he hung up.

* * *

Jude opened the door to see a tall dark haired man in a brown uniform standing on the step. She had gotten home from school half an hour ago and was getting ready to make a snack when the doorbell had rung.

"Delivery for Jude Harrison."

"That's me." He handed her the digital tablet to sign and then handed her a small package that had been tucked under his arm. She thanked him and shut the door walking to the living room to sit down. The return address was New York and she smiled to herself. He had remembered her birthday, which was tomorrow. She ripped the tape off the cardboard box to see a double disc CD case and card enclosed. She opened the envelope first and the cover showed a clearing that eerily resembled the one he had brought her to when she had played hooky from school. She wondered idly how long it had taken him to find that card and opened it to see a few simple lines.

__

Girl,

Happy 17th. Hope all your wishes come true. Saw this at a store and thought of you.

Love,

T

Jude picked up the CD next and smiled to herself. It was a rare bootleg of The Kinks European tour from '79 and she knew he couldn't have simply seen it somewhere. It wasn't that easy to find; she and Jamie had searched all over Toronto for it. She opened the case to read the jacket and something slid out. She looked down in her lap to see a silver colored chain. When she lifted it to look more closely she saw the star pendant dangling from the interwoven loops. It was a stylized star, curvy and asymmetrical in shape with a small diamond imbedded in the top point. At that moment she couldn't have hid the smile that lit her face and heart if someone had paid for her to do it. She put it on quickly and traced the smooth surface of the metal, thinking of him as he had intended.

* * *

Sadie, Jude and Victoria were all in the kitchen bright and early on Jude's birthday. Victoria had made special J shaped pancakes and Sadie had shared her pink birthday candle. Jude's day was starting off good. She had gotten an I-Pod from her father and her early birthday present had been the best. She handed Sadie and her mother invitations to Caveman Dayz for her birthday dinner that night and Sadie groaned in protest.

"Can I bring someone?" Sadie asked, knowing only a distraction would make the night bearable.

"Kwest....?" Jude teased in a singsong tone. "Things are getting pretty serious with you two." Sadie gave a small grin. Kwest was not her normal type when it came to boyfriends; in the past she had always gone for the bad boy. Every girl knew the type. The one who didn't call, didn't remember birthdays or anniversaries, but somehow the 'I don't care' attitude was so sexy. Kwest was different and she did not regret giving him a chance. He was sweet and considerate and not at all bad to look at and his kisses... "Oohh Sadie's in love..." Jude grinned at the faraway look that had come into her sister's eyes. Sadie snapped out of her reverie and rolled her eyes at her sister.

"What do you know about love little sis? Your boyfriend is taking you to a kiddie restaurant for your birthday!"

"Hey low blow! Spied can be really sweet..." So he was a little immature...and they never seemed to go out on real dates, but Jude had fun with him...mostly. Sadie leaned over and held the pendant Jude had on in her hand, eyeing it closely. The metal did not gleam in the sunlight, appearing to have an almost dull satiny surface. She gave her sister a surprised look.

"Platinum?" Jude looked a little guilty as she pulled it out of Sadie's fingers and shrugged.

"I didn't know it was..."

"Who..." Sadie was interrupted by Victoria. Sadie frowned at her sister and mouthed the word 'later' that Jude pretended to ignore as she picked at her food.

"Come on Jude eat! You'll be late for school." Jude sighed as she tucked the necklace under her shirt out of sight. She dug into her pancake as her mom poured her some orange juice.

* * *

Jude let herself into the room and dropped her bag on the floor when her phone began to ring. She was just stopping by to unwind a little before she met everyone at Caveman Dayz. She took it out of her bag and saw Tommy's picture on the screen, a smile went instantly to her face.

"Hey."

"Where are you?" Jude was taken aback for a moment at his abrupt question.

"At the rehearsal space. Why?" She wondered why he was asking her location once again. He had called her at lunch and asked her what her plans that day would be, casually getting her to give him specifics.

"I was trying to surprise you. But I got off on the wrong floor and I'm locked in."

"You're downstairs?!" She shouted so excitedly he winced and held his phone away from his ears.

"Maybe..." Jude dropped her phone onto her bag and ran out the door.

.

Jude picked up the doorknob off the floor and inserted it into the door to open it. When it swung open she saw him standing there and immediately ran to jump into his arms, before he could even warn her not to let the door slam shut again. She turned at the sound and he groaned.

"Uh....Locked in." He reminded her. She looked back at him sheepishly.

"Oops." He stared down at her with a smile on his lips.

"Hi...." He said softly.

"Hi..." She said back, getting lost in his light eyes. She tightened her hold on him and rested her cheek against his shoulder and he held her just as close. They didn't talk for a long time, just stood like that, remembering how it felt to be in the presence of the other. Jude pulled back finally and he loosened his hold on her, but not letting go completely.

"How are we going to get out of here?" Jude asked gnawing at her bottom lip. She was supposed to be meeting Spied, Sadie, Kat and her mom at Caveman Dayz for dinner. And she couldn't exactly call any of her other friends to come let them out, because it would be hard to explain why Tommy was there with her or even in Toronto at all.

"I'll call Kwest." Jude looked relieved, then she remembered Sadie was bringing him to dinner.

"Uh he's waiting for me at Caveman Dayz along with everyone else." Jude warned as Tommy whipped his cell out of his pocket. He gave her a look that had her shrugging in embarrassment at her boyfriend's somewhat juvenile idea. "I told you he and Sadie were dating." Tommy just nodded as he speed dialed Kwest, praying he actually had his phone with him and turned on.

.

Kwest was sitting at the large rocklike slab table staring at Jude's friends and Victoria. They all wondered where she was, as Jamie and Spied continued to bicker while Kat simply looked uncomfortable. His phone rang and he answered it, looking at Victoria apologetically.

"Hey man. It's Tommy. Don't say my name. I need a favor."

"Okay..." Kwest excused himself and walked into the hallway. "What's up?"

"You know where Jude's rehearsal space is?" Kwest had been there when they had the party.

"Yeah."

"We're locked in one floor below. I need you to come get us out."

"What?! _That's_ where Jude is?!" Kwest looked around in panic, hoping no one had heard his outburst. He breathed a sigh of relief when his girlfriend did not come running. "What are you doing back?" Kwest hissed more softly into the phone.

"It's her birthday man..." Tommy stated it like the answer was obvious and Kwest rolled his eyes. Jude had a strange hold on his friend, he thought not for the first time.

"I can't exactly get away now T." Kwest stopped one of the waitresses and asked when the show would be over. "Two hours at the earliest." Kwest told Tommy who thanked him. Kwest shook his head, thinking his friend definitely owed him. He went back to the table and tried to pretend he had no clue where Jude was and appear as worried as everyone else when she didn't show. His girlfriend had just given the two boys inflatable clubs and they were going at it like 4 year olds. Sadie smirked at him and he just shook his head, wondering why Jude had decided to date Spied. Don't get him wrong, he liked the kid, but he was so young and Jude wasn't in that place anymore and frankly hadn't been since she got involved with Tommy.

.

Tommy finished his call and snapped his phone shut. "Kwest can't get here til the end of the show." Jude nodded and looked at him a little nervously. She knew firsthand what could happen when they were left alone together.

"Well I planned on bringing you back to my apartment, but I guess this will do." He lowered his head to her brush her lips with his, but she turned her head so he grazed her cheek instead.

"Tommy I'm still with Spied." She protested weakly.

"Jude it's just a birthday kiss." He said cajolingly. She wasn't exactly hard to convince as his lips found hers again. He was the only one who made her feel like her skin was burning from the inside out and he was the only one who could salve the feeling and make it ten times worse. He backed her towards the old couch and sat down first pulling her onto his lap, his lips never leaving her soft skin. He started a trail from the corner of her mouth to her chin, and then lower to the very sensitive hollow of her neck where his tongue flicked out and made her give a sharp intake of breath. She looked up at him and he could see the slight hint of protest under the desire. "It's just a kiss." He murmured as his mouth opened to suck on the velvety skin of her neck. His touch caused her to forget why she was going to ask him to stop. His fingers skimmed the pale skin of her belly where her shirt had ridden up and all she could feel was little shocks ripple through her at the simple touch. And then his lips followed the trail his fingers had wandered, pushing her simple short sleeve blouse up until her lacy white bra was visible. She felt his lips on the skin above the lacy material of her bra and she whimpered unconsciously. His fingers laced with her clenched ones as his lips nudged aside the material to take a rosy nipple into his mouth. Her back arched involuntarily, offering him better access to the hard peak. He slid down her body, still holding onto her hands as his mouth drew lower back down her taut stomach, until his hot breath hovered above the waistband of her jeans. Their eyes met as he looked up, taking in her flushed cheeks and erratic breathing.

"Tommy..." She whispered, misgiving evident in her voice.

"Shh..." He reassured her as his hands went to unfasten her jeans. He pulled them off her slender legs and took in the small black thong she wore. His lips were on her stomach again, not giving her time to clear her hazy thoughts and his tongue swirled lower. His finger brushed the flimsy material to one side as his hands went to the back of her thighs to spread her open to his gaze. She felt the flick of his tongue against her clit and clenched the material of the couch. Tommy tasted her thoroughly, licking along her moist folds and thrusting his tongue into her core, leaving her gasping loudly. He stroked her sensitive nub with his tongue, until she was ready to splinter apart, but it was when he started to suck on the delicate flesh that she came undone completely. The cry of his name echoed in the mostly empty room.

Tommy moved back onto the couch next to Jude and took her into his arms. He took the rest of her breath from her with a searing kiss, that had her singer's lungs gasping for oxygen when he finally lifted his head from hers. Their eyes locked and held as her fingers snaked low to brush the arousal straining through his own jeans. He took her wrist and shook his head, before kissing the pulse point. She looked at him in confusion, but he simply took her mouth again with his, pressing her against the back of the seat. They kissed for a longtime, until finally the need did not seem so urgent and they pulled apart again. Tommy handed her, her jeans and she put them on, shooting him a puzzled glance.

"Tommy...You..."

"I'm okay..." He said as he pulled her back into his arms, where she snuggled comfortably. "Happy birthday girl." He whispered against her fiery locks. She smiled as she adjusted her head on his shoulder. "Is there anything else you wished for?"

"You already gave me this. And you know I've been looking for that CD forever." Jude said, fingering the smooth metal of the pendant. "I love it by the way." He could tell there was something else on her mind.

"What else do you want?" He gazed down at her catching her eyes.

"Anything?"

"Within reason." She sat up to look at him more fully.

"I want you to record something."

"Jude..." He started to protest before she interrupted him.

"I'm not saying you have to release it or show it to anyone. Just record one of your songs and see how it feels." Jude had so much faith in him and knew he loved making music as much as she did. Tommy sighed, but acquiesced anyway, unable to resist those big pleading blue eyes. He pulled her back to him, making her giggle. "Only for you Harrison." An idea came into his head, to teach her a lesson, for thinking she could manipulate him so easily.

They talked for a little while and Jude wondered why anyone would leave a piano behind, all musical instruments being sacred to her. Tommy said he had a suspicion this place had once been a nightclub called the Chrome Cat and that there had even been rumors that Elvis had played here. She stayed in his arms, unwilling to even let him check out the piano hidden under the dust cloth. She would only have him for this short time, since he had to be back in New York for a meeting tomorrow.

When Kwest opened the door, he found them curled asleep on the couch and thanked God that they were dressed. He made sure to prop the door open before entering the room. They both stirred at the noise and Jude opened her eyes to see Tommy staring down at her. Neither of them seemed to be aware that Kwest had even come in. As he leaned down to touch her lips, Kwest spoke.

"Guys." Their heads whipped towards him in shock. "Tom you gotta get going now! Jamie and Spied are just down the street." They both stood up abruptly, and stared at Kwest. Jude did not protest as Tommy drew her in for one last lingering kiss, before he joined Kwest by the door. She stared at him a little dazedly as she realized he was already leaving.

"I'll call you in 15 to make sure they found you. Okay?" Kwest said and Jude nodded as they locked her in once again.

"You know she's dating Spied Tom." Kwest said with slight censure in his voice as they walked down the hallway hurriedly.

"We didn't have sex."

"Who are you Bill Clinton?" Tommy gave him a puzzled look. "I can smell her on your breath." Tommy's hand went to his mouth in embarrassment. Kwest shook his head in mild disgust and threw him a piece of gum which he immediately unwrapped and popped into his mouth.

.

As Spied and Jamie neared the old building a squeal of tires caught their attention off in the distance. They turned to see a small dark colored sports car drive off and something about it seemed familiar to Spied. This neighborhood didn't exactly run to owners of luxury cars, so was it simply coincidence that it happened to be leaving as they were coming? But there were more important things to worry about, like finding Jude and they headed up quickly.

* * *

Jude looked up from the old Mustang she was working on to see Spied had pulled up. He got out of his Uncle's car and walked into the garage with an unusually serious face. She had left him a voicemail asking him to come by earlier that morning. They just stared at one another reading what was about to happen in the other's eyes.

"You said you wanted to talk?" Spied asked as he huddled in his coat. The air was chilly and they could see their breath, even in the enclosed space.

"Spied I..." She had never done this before, been the one to instigate the ending of a relationship, even though she sensed he knew it was over too. "We..." She took a deep breath and started again. "Us...It's not...working out..." She wrung her hands as she looked down at the engine parts in front of her. The toe of her boot connected with the tire aimlessly.

"I know..." He agreed quietly and when she looked up into his eyes she could see the pain in them. It twisted her stomach into knots. He took a step closer and placed a hand on her back. "It's alright Jude..."

"You're like one of my best friends." He nodded and they stayed silent in the chilled garage, watching the white puffs coming from their lips.

"Why'd you go out with me in the first place Dude?" And for once she didn't correct the hated use of his nickname for her, because his voice sounded pensive and a little sad. She stared at him for a moment before they answered at the same time.

"Because we make good music together." And his solemn mood was gone in the blink of an eye, replaced by his familiar mischievous smile. She answered it with one of her own, but her insides hurt a little because she could see something else reflected in his brown orbs and knew she had caused that. She promised herself she would never go into a relationship with a nice guy again, unless she felt as strongly about him as she still did Tommy Quincy. And then she wondered if that was possible and deep down she suspected it wasn't. Spied opened his arms and drew her in for a hug. The warmth was comforting as their bodies pressed together.

"We always played more Guitar hero than made out." He commented.

"Not exactly Romeo and Juliet." The situation was sad, but unlike Jamie's prima donna ways, she believed Spied could move on soon and hoped they would stay good friends without too much drama.

"More like Bart and Lisa Simpson." They smiled at one another and Jude felt guilty at ever getting involved with him, knowing she couldn't give him much of her heart.

"I'm so sorry Vin. I never meant to screw with your emotions." He didn't flinch when she called him that name, just held her as she cried against his shoulder. And he knew it wasn't over their failed relationship, at least not only that. Jude Harrison had secrets he had learned and he had suspicions of who they concerned.


	23. Chapter 23

_Music used is Can't Fight the Moonlight by Leanne Rhimes. Tell me how you like the chapter! and ENJOY!_

**Chapter 23**

Jude, SME and Kwest were all hanging out in the Hospitality area of G-Major as they listened to the Billboard top twenty for the week. It had become a habit of theirs and they were faithful to the ritual, especially now with Jude's latest single debuting in the 3 spot last week.

"_Here's a little treat for all you listeners out there. A new song that is already getting heavy downloads online. Remember you heard it here first."_ Mary, one of the hosts, said with her dulcet tones before they heard the beginning of the song. Jude could have sworn she had heard those opening chords before, somewhere, but she could not place it until the lyrics began.

_I'm so addicted to all the things you do  
When you're going down on me in between the sheets_

She had just taken a swig of orange juice from the bottle she was holding when it suddenly came spraying out of her mouth, landing half in the bowl of cereal Kyle had just poured for himself and half on his face. He wiped away the sticky mess with his hand and gave her a WTF look. Spied and Wally were laughing, but she didn't notice her ears straining to hear every nuance of the music.

"Turn that up." She commanded Wally who sat closest to the stereo system they had in the Hospitality area, ignoring Kyle completely. Kwest caught her eye from the couch, noticing her strange reaction and they shared a look as they listened to the song play. When it was over the two deejays came back on.

_"Wow I loved this. So who's the singer?"_ Mary asked Chris_._

_"That Mary is what makes this song a bit of a big deal. There are rumors that Wendell Records released, but would not state the identity of the singer."_

_"Why would anyone not want to claim their own music? Are there any hints to who Mr. X is?"_

_"Not one. The story is this, the single was mailed to a few select radio stations and placed online to be purchased."_

_"Hmm interesting."_

_"Forget who sings it. I want to know who he's singing about. I'd like to meet her."_

_"Of course you would." _She said sarcastically and they both did that fake talk show laugh. The moved onto the rest of the countdown and Kwest stared at Jude in mild shock.

.

"Uh Jude can I see you in studio 1? I need your opinion on something."

"Sure Kwest..." They both hurried to the other room, leaving the confused boys behind.

.

"Man you must not have been doing it right if a song about a little oral, bothers your ex so much." Spied glared at Kyle who had poured himself a new bowl of cereal.

"Shut up man." Spied sounded serious, making Kyle do a double take. Jude and he had never gone there. There was definitely something going on with that song. Jude recognized it he could tell.

.

"Was that...?" Kwest started to ask, but Jude finished the sentence for him.

"The song that Chaz heard. Oh yeah...." Jude said as she leaned against the soundboard, crossing her arms and rubbing them with her hands. She was in a bit of shock herself.

"Why?"

"On my birthday I asked him to record something, just to see how it feels. " She uttered as she stared at him wide eyed. The finished song had been absolutely perfect and his voice...They stared at one another for a long moment, until he finally broke the silence.

"Why do you have to involve me in your sex life?!" Kwest wailed and the people who heard him through the open doorway froze in their tracks. Great now people would think Jude was either cheating on her sister or sleeping around. She rolled her eyes at Kwest who finally noticed that the door was not shut in the studio. He shook his head, wondering how it was that Tommy was gone, but still involving him in his relationship with Jude.

* * *

Jude made it downstairs with ten minutes to spare before she had to go to school, which was actually pretty good for her. She had gotten detention more than once for being late, although before it had always been up to Jamie to drag her to school. Things were different now and had been for what seemed like a longtime. She took her own new Saturn Sky Red Line, which she blamed on Tommy for getting her hooked on small fast shiny convertibles, to school these days and as yet had not gotten stopped again. She pulled the Strawberry Pop Tart, Sadie had put in for herself, out of the toaster and took a bite. Her sister sat at the counter looking up from the magazine she had been browsing.

"Hey!"

"I thought you were on a low carb diet anyway." Sadie sighed and patted her nonexistent toned belly.

"Kwest made me a strawberry cheesecake last night."

"Ooohh go Kwest. I think I'm half in love with him too. The man is nice to look at, treats my favorite sister like a queen and...he can cook!" Sadie grinned happily. Kwest had been so romantic last night, making her a candlelit meal with champagne and dessert...in bed...

"Although it would have been nice to know what it was like to be one of his girls, I'm kind of glad we never got together." Sadie commented as she threw the tabloid she'd been reading in front of Jude at the counter. Sadie got up and headed back upstairs to finish getting ready.

Jude forgot to breathe as she stared down at the headlining photo of Tommy arm in arm with a semi-famous lingerie model, Jenna something or other, shown at some charity benefit. Jealousy was a hard fist in the gut and she dragged in a gasp of air. It wasn't the fact that he was with another woman that hurt so much, not that it helped to see the lush polished beauty standing so close to him. But it came to Jude in that moment, the fact that she had absolutely no right to be jealous. He had made no promises to her and she had never had the right to expect that he wouldn't see other people. She herself had just broken up with Spied after all, but it did not make it any less painful to know all these salient details. Tommy should have been hers, but he wasn't and she had no right to be upset over it. No matter that he had shown up for her birthday and recorded a song, her song, when she had asked. She had no right and that made her body ache all over.

Jude dropped the paper back onto the table unable to look at the colored picture for a second longer. Breakfast forgotten she walked to the doorway and grabbed her bag and jacket. As she walked down the walkway towards her car parked on the street, her chilled hands went into her pockets and she felt a crumpled wad of paper. She smoothed it out with her hands and looked down at the name and numbers scrawled onto the torn page.

* * *

She saw his highlighted blond head bent to look out the window, nodding to a beat, she assumed to the music pumping through the headphones of the iPOD on the table. Jude bit her lip nervously, hoping it was him anyway. She barely remembered what he looked like except recalling that he had been blond and cute in a surfer boy kind of way. He looked up at her approach, his green eyes taking her in. Hmm nice smile. She returned it with a half one of her own as he stood up. He took the ear-buds out and they exchanged easy greetings. She sat down at the chair opposite him that he had pulled out for her and promptly swiped his iPOD.

"Don't you have your own?" He asked in amusement as he signaled the waiter over.

"You can tell everything from what a person listens to." She commented, intriguing him a little.

"Really?" He grinned as she continued to scan the contents of his library. She ordered an iced tea as the menu was placed in front of her, her eyes never leaving her new fountain of information.

"You know I'm glad you called. I kinda figured you had forgotten about me." Jude shrugged a shoulder as her eyes continued to scan the artists. _Green Day, Jude Harrison. T_hat got a smile from her. _Lenny Kravitz, Maroon 5, Metallica, Moby, Monster Magnet..._Pretty mainstream stuff. She would have to reeducate him if they did start to hang out.

"I found your number in my pocket the other day." Blake winced at her honesty.

"Glad I was so memorable." She grinned as she looked up at him.

"Honestly I had a boyfriend at the time, so you really didn't hit my radar."

"And now?"

"I'm free." He grinned back at her.

"I'm glad." The waiter came back and took their orders.

"So what's the verdict?" He asked indicating his iPOD still held captive in her long slender fingers.

"You like things light, with a good beat. Shows you like to have fun. There's the harder rock showing occasional hints of a deeper side when you need to be angry. And no love songs. Meaning you're not looking." She handed him the player and he put it in his jacket pocket.

"I don't believe in love." He said as he turned back to face her.

"Good because it sucks." Jude quipped back and they both shared a laugh. Jude also liked his answer. There would be no serious dating with this guy and she wasn't looking for it, just a little casual fun with someone new. "Oh and you enjoy the company of sexy women." Jude added impishly.

"You figured that out by my musical taste?" He asked seriously impressed.

"No. From the tabloids." He let another laugh, finding himself enjoying her company. She was different from his normal type even though her hair was now a more standard shade of blond as opposed to the fiery red when he had first met her.

"So I meant to say I liked the blond." Jude touched her long strands absentmindedly. She still forgot sometimes, that she had reverted back to her natural hair color via a little Ms. Clairol

"I just needed a change." She commented as their salads arrived. Sadie had called it Jude's breakup hair and Jude hadn't corrected her. It was more of a Jude's 'don't hurt other people in your obsessive love for one guy' reminder. Spiederman was a lesson she would never forget.

The rest of the date went surprisingly smoothly and Jude realized she hadn't really been on one since Shay. How sad was that? Jude found out he was 20 and had gotten a lead part in his next movie, some kind of teen melodrama and he would be in and out of Canada as his schedule allowed. He asked if she wanted to head to the opening of a club that night and she found herself agreeing. That was when the paparazzi got their first glimpse of the town's new golden couple. Jude thought it was funny, since they had only gone on one date, but the press seemed to like pairing them together.

* * *

Jude was on her way out of G-Major one day when she spotted Kwest and his new artist Kimberly Brooks sprawled out on the sound booth room floor of Studio 2. Kwest looked like if he didn't have such short hair he would have been pulling it out. This was a major deal for him to prove to Darius he had what it took to produce. Crumpled sheets of paper lay scattered in front of them and Kimberly was writing halfheartedly.

"Hey." They both looked up at the sound of her voice. "What's up guys? You look like you're about to have a meltdown." Kwest explained Darius's demand for a ballad ASAP. Of course G-Major had songwriters on retainer, but they hadn't found a good fit for Kimberly yet. Jude sat down right beside them and dug her journal out of her bag.

"I think I have something that might work." She said as she scanned the contents of the book and ripped out the page she was looking for, handing it to Kwest. Kimberly shifted over and read over his arm.

"Wow." She said as she looked at the blond girl. They had never truly spoken before except for the occasional hello when they ran into one another. Kimberly was a little awed that Jude would just give such a good song away like that, not that she was complaining. This was what she and Kwest had needed and they both recognized that right away. Jude hummed the melody for Kimberly and she nodded her understanding.

"I think for you we'll mix it up a little." Jude commented as they all got up and she went to help Kwest set up the instrumental track. Jude spent the rest of the night helping them in the studio, surprising Kwest with how much knowledge she had acquired working with Tommy.

* * *

The next day Kwest called his best friend. When he had finally had time to think about Jude's gift, it had bothered him. Jude's songs were like her children and for her to give one away like that...

"Have you talked to Jude recently man?" Tommy sat back in his chair and sighed. Jude had been avoiding his phone calls and it had really started to bother him, although he had refused to acknowledge that simply not hearing from her was making him edgy.

"No...I think she's been ducking me. Why are you asking all of a sudden Kwest?"

"She gave me a song." Tommy misunderstood at first thinking Jude had written Kwest a song and his hand fisted on the desk. Kwest was a stand up guy and he could not believe he would hit on Jude, would he? And hadn't Jude said something about Kwest dating Sadie?

"She what?" Tommy said through gritted teeth.

"Darius wanted a love song from my artist Kimberly Brooks and we've been trying to come up with something good, but man I don't know how you co-wrote so much with Jude. It's way harder than it looks." In fact Jude and Tommy had made it seem so easy, both of them getting what the other wanted to say before that person even knew it.

"And this concerns Jude how?" Tommy said a little curtly, making his friend roll his eyes on the other end of the phone.

"Chill man, she saw us brainstorming and walked up to me and handed me a sheet from her journal. She actually ripped it out and everything." Tommy knew how strange that was, no matter what Jude wrote she never ever got rid of anything. In fact there were even scraps of paper on his desk at his apartment with her random lyrics all over them. He hadn't been able to bring himself to throw them away either.

"What was the song?"

"Hang on." Kwest played the recording he had made that day with Kimberly under Jude's close scrutiny. She was after all the one who knew how she had written it to sound, although she altered some of it to fit Kimberly's Pop style better. Kwest was surprised Jude seemed to have a talent for that too.

_Under a lovers sky  
Gonna be with you  
And no one's gonna be around  
If you think that you won't fall  
Well just wait until  
'Til the sun goes down_

_Underneath the starlight, starlight  
There's a magical feeling so right  
It will steal your heart tonight_

_You can try to resist  
Try to hide from my kiss  
But you know  
But you know that you  
Can't fight the moonlight  
Deep in the dark  
You'll surrender your heart  
But you know  
But you know that you  
Can't fight the moonlight  
No, you can't fight it  
It's gonna get to your heart_

_There's no escape from love  
Once a gentle breeze (once a gentle breeze)  
Weaves it's spell upon your heart  
No matter what you think  
It won't be too long (not too long)  
'Til you're in my arms_

_Underneath the starlight, starlight  
We'll be lost in the rhythm so right  
Feel it steal your heart tonight_

_You can try to resist  
Try to hide from my kiss  
But you know  
But you know that you  
Can't fight the moonlight  
Deep in the dark  
You'll surrender your heart  
But you know  
But you know that you  
(But you know that you can't)  
Can't fight the moonlight  
No (no), you can't fight it (no yeah)  
No (no) matter what you do  
(No matter what you do)  
The night is gonna get to you_

_Don't try then  
You're never gonna win_

_Part of me the starlight, starlight  
There's a magical feeling so right  
It will steal your heart tonight_

_You can try to resist  
Try to hide from my kiss  
But you know  
But you know (you know that you) that you  
Can't fight the moonlight  
Deep in the dark (deep in the dark)  
You'll surrender your heart  
But you know  
But you know that you  
Can't fight the moonlight  
No, you can't fight it_

_You can try to resist (you can try to resist)  
Try to hide from my kiss (my kiss)  
But you know  
Don't you know that you can't?  
Can't fight the moonlight  
Deep in the dark  
You'll surrender your heart  
(Surrender your heart)  
But you know  
But you know that you  
Can't fight the moonlight  
No, you can't fight it  
It's gonna get to your heart_

He listened to the song with a heavy heart. It was romantic, and beautiful, but just a touch idealistic and he had been drawn to that part of her that still saw goodness in everything. There had to be a reason she had given it away like that. But she wasn't talking...at least not to him.

"It's good Kwest. You did a good job....Maybe a fadeout at the end." Tommy said the producer in him coming through even as his heart and head were in turmoil. "Did she say why she was letting you have it?"

"She said it wasn't really her style and it was just a song she would never use." Tommy sensed there was something more than that for Jude Harrison to part with her music, especially a song he knew was written about him. She hadn't shut him out, not exactly. They still talked on occasion, but not nearly as often. And when they did she seemed somehow awkward in her answers to his questions as if she was no longer comfortable listening to his voice.

"Is she seeing someone?" Kwest was silent, not knowing if he should answer. Tommy had asked him to look out for her, not to spy for him and Jude was his friend too now. Kwest heard the weary sigh. "Look she's free to see whoever she wants. It's just usually she tells me about stuff like that." Kwest raised an eyebrow in surprise. Those two really did have a strange relationship.

"There's this guy. Blake Collins. He's an actor. I don't think it's serious or anything...She seems to be having fun." Kwest actually found it odd how Jude acted with Blake. It was almost like she was playing a part when they were together and Kwest wondered why she bothered at all if she couldn't be herself around him.

"If you see her tell her to give me a call." Tommy said wearily.

"Will do."

"Thanks for the heads up man."

"No problem."

Tommy hung up the phone and sat back in his chair. He felt powerless, not knowing what was going on in Jude's life and he did not like the sensation at all. It was ironic since he had been the one to walk away from her, now having no right to expect to know anything.

_

* * *

_

Jude entered her home after work one night and saw the couple on the couch. She let out a tiny yelp, before she could stop herself. Her mother was straddling Don, her divorce lawyer/boyfriend. They both looked up at her in shock and Victoria pulled her blouse closed with one hand.

"Jude! It's not what it looks like. We were just...." She said in utter mortification.

"Ugh...I know about the birds and the bees mom. We had that talk when I was 10." Jude reminded her as she averted her face from the sight. "I'll be up in my room." She quickly headed for the stairs to leave the scene behind.

.

_._

Sadie knocked on Jude's door later that night when she came home. She popped her head in and grinned at her sister.

"Mom told you." Jude stated as Sadie walked in and sat on the end of her bed.

"Yeah...She asked me to make sure you were okay." Jude rolled her eyes. It was definitely something she could have gone her whole life without seeing.

"Sades do you think mom is serious about him?" Jude asked worriedly. He was a lawyer after all and she didn't trust them on principle alone. Sadie shrugged.

"I don't know Jude. It's her life though." They were both silent as they contemplated the relationship neither of them thought was a good idea. "Sades promise me you won't do it on the couch with Kwest too." Sadie looked a little flustered as she stared over at Jude leaning against the headboard. "You too!?" Jude said loudly in disgust. "That couch has seen more action than that motel off highway 1..." Jude muttered.

"Wait...You and Spied?" Sadie asked interested now. Her little sister had always been a bit closemouthed about her relationships.

"No!" Jude said in horror. Sadie asked about Blake next and Jude said simply that they had been hanging out, although the tabloids wanted to make it out to be more. It had been a longtime since Sadie had hung out in Jude's room, probably before Sadie had gotten popular in junior high and had no time left for her little sister. The sisters reconnected on a level that neither of them realized had been broken. Even though their family had been torn apart by divorce, they realized they still had each other no matter what.

_

* * *

_

Tommy was walking back from lunch when he decided to stop at a newsstand for his daily dose of sugar, in the form of red licorice when he saw the newest issue of Vanity Fair and froze in his tracks. He grabbed the magazine and thrust money towards the vendor, not even bothering for change. His eyes were transfixed as he bumped into more than one pedestrian on his trek back to the studio. He sat down heavily at the soundboard and stared at the picture of his girl.

Jude was wearing a white dress shirt that barely hit mid-thigh, only the bottom button seemed to be keeping it around her slender frame. One shoulder was bared enough to show a hint of the little black bikini top she wore underneath and around her neck was a dark blue tie, the very one she had taken home after she had worn it at his apartment. Overall the photo did not show much skin, just a hint to leave the viewer wanting more. That was what made it so damn provocative. Her newly blond hair was sexily tousled as if she had just gotten out of some man's bed and she was biting her bottom lip as her big eyes stared straight out into Tommy's.

He found the article inside and scanned the additional pictures. Her bare legs seemed to mock him as he remember how the strong the deceptively slender limbs could be when they wrapped around his body like a vice. He was alternately hot and cold as he tried to get his mind out of that area of thought.

Later he would go through every word the writer put down to try and decipher what was going on with Jude. For now he read the first few paragraphs of the article, learning nothing new and then his eyes skimmed down to the Q & A portion of the interview.

_If you have not heard of Jude Harrison dear reader. You soon will. Her sophomore album is slated to be released soon and her first album was a huge success in North America. She is the first ever Instant Star, the Canadian version of American Idol, winning the talent contest with her amazing voice and songwriting ability at the tender age of 15. Now at 17, she appears every inch the professional as she strides towards me in the restaurant we have agreed to meet at before her photo shoot. She is wearing knee high black suede boots, a simple short black dress and a dark blue Armani tie around her bare neck. For her the look works._

_She is so busy these days trying to wrap up her sophomore album and finishing her junior year of high school. You read it right readers she still goes to a public school. She is also boisterous and full of life, laughter sparkling in her big blue eyes. This girl's got it all talent, looks and the drive to succeed._

_Here are my observations of the newly blond, once known for her blazing red hair, imported Canadian rock sensation. She seems genuinely glad to see me with a soft smile on her full lips and welcome in her eyes. There is a lucidity in her gaze that belies her youth, hinting at more world weariness than appears on the shiny surface of a teenage rock star ready to take on the world. She is eager and excited, but underneath it all there is something more, that perhaps is hinted at in her music. For she is one of the rare breed of singer who is a talented lyricist in addition to being the voice. It has been less than two years since she won the Instant Star contest, but the expectations are high that she will exceed the fame she has already established with her platinum selling self titled freshman album._

A question caught his attention and he stopped scanning to read the words.

**_Who was your first crush? _**

_Oh gee that's actually kind of a funny story. First I have to explain that my Dad is a huge classic rock junkie. He basically influenced my love of music growing up. Anyway he has this huge collection of vinyl and The Doors self titled album was one of them. _

**_So Jim Morrison?_**

_Uh huh. I was only 10 at the time I think. I didn't know he was dead and when I found out I was heartbroken. I didn't forgive my dad for not telling me, for an entire week._

**_Has anyone managed to break your heart since then?_**

_Do I seem like I've ever had my heartbroken?_

_._

Tommy knew the answer to that question all too well.

**_Who was your last crush?_**

_Promise you won't laugh. But I guess I'd have to say my first producer**.**_

**_Little Tommy Q formerly of Boyz Attack fame?_**

_That would be him. I never thought I'd crush on a boybander, but what can I say he's gorgeous in person._

**_Well I can't blame you there. I wouldn't mind seeing him at work everyday._**

_He's not just a body though, not that he wasn't good to look at. He's an amazing producer and a talented musician. For a longtime he was an important part of my life._

Tommy frowned. She had said 'was' not 'is' and he had to wonder if that had been a mistake or deliberate.

**_Do you still keep in touch?_**

_We did in the beginning when he moved to New York, but we're both extremely busy people. No matter what I will always owe him. When we met I was just a kid that won a talent contest. He brought the music out and showed me what it really meant to be a musician._

**_Is there a new man in your life? Maybe by the name of Blake Collins._**

_We're hanging out and I guess testing the waters. Neither of us is looking for anything too serious at this point. He's a lot of fun to be around. But if anything changes you'll be the first to know._

He frowned unconsciously, not noticing that Drew had come into the room for his afternoon session. He had been reduced to a crush. Drew snagged the magazine from Tommy's hands wondering what his producer could possible be so engrossed in and looked at the cover. He whistled and admired the sexy cover.

"Jude Harrison. Toronto's newest rock princess import." Tommy scowled at him. "Just J..." Drew grinned as he figured out the mystery. Tommy grabbed it out of his hands and put it to one side as he indicated for Drew to head into the sound booth.

As soon as Drew left, Tommy had not been able to concentrate so sent Drew home, he went into his office closing the door hard behind him. He was yelling at the man on the other line before he even had a chance to finish his hello.

"You are supposed to be looking out for her man. I trusted you to not let D exploit her!" Tommy said it on one long breath before the person at the other end could get a word in edgewise. Okayyyy....Ian thought. He hadn't heard a Tommy Quincy meltdown since Boyz Attack was still a household name and it had never been aimed at him.

"Nice to hear from you Tommy."

"How could you let her do that photo shoot?! That's not Jude!"

"Wow....Back up! I didn't 'let' her do anything. It was Jude's choice. Once they added the shirt she had no problem with the pictures." Meaning they had wanted her simply in the skimpy black bikini, Tommy inferred from Ian's words. Tommy could not help but be distracted by that image.

"Ian what's going on with Jude?" Tommy swallowed his pride and asked the other man. First the song she had given away, then the distance she had placed between them and now this...

"I'm not sure I know what you mean Tommy. Jude's been really busy, but that's pretty normal and well she's seeing that actor Blake. Why don't you call her yourself if you want to know what she's up to?" Ian asked in confusion. Tommy clenched his teeth. How was he supposed to do that when she barely seemed to have anything to say to him anymore?

* * *

Jude walked downstairs at her mom's yell about a phone call. She took the cordless from Victoria who gave her a questioning look.

"It's Tommy." Victoria said as Jude put it to her ear to answer it.

"Hey..." Jude said as she tried to put some distance between her and her mom. "Jude...."

"Why did you call the house?!" Jude hissed into the phone as she glanced surreptitiously over he shoulder to see if her mom was listening in. Victoria had gone back into the study to do some paperwork and Jude breathed a sigh that she didn't seem overly suspicious. She did know Jude and Tommy spoke, but him calling the house phone! She didn't want her mother wondering what could be so urgent he had to get in touch with her.

"You've been ducking me for weeks now Jude!" She rolled her eyes as she made her way up to her room. Only Tommy would flat out and out say that.

"I've been busy."

"Don't give me that. We're both always busy. That's never stopped you from talking to me!" He snapped at her. He blinked at himself in surprise. Her continued avoidance of him had him edgier than he had realized, not that the pictures had helped any. "What's going on? The truth."

"You want the truth Tommy? Fine. I don't know what to say to you anymore. Is that what you wanted to hear?" He heard the edge of unwarranted temper in her voice and had to wonder at it.

"Why?" Jude just wanted to bang her head on the wall, but sat heavily on her bed instead.

"I saw a picture of you in some tabloid, taking that model to that charity thing."

"So? Jude we're celebrities. You of all people should know how that is." He was truly puzzled. Although he had been pretty low key since showing up in New York there had been occasional pictures of him out with a woman.

"I was jealous Tommy. And that wasn't even the problem..."

"Then what?" Jude was silent, not knowing if she could answer his question, but realizing there was no point in hiding her reasons. It wasn't like he had never seen her vulnerable and if her possessiveness where he was concerned made him uncomfortable, she couldn't help that either.

"I realized I had no right to be jealous of anyone you were with Tommy. That's what really bothered me okay? I know you don't belong to me. I do. But hey what do you expect? I'm just a hormonal teenager right?" Jude tried to be self-mocking, but it fell flat in the silence of the other end of the line.

Tommy couldn't believe this was what her weeks of avoiding him were about. Had this led her to give her music away and do that photo shoot? Had this been what let her get involved with that playboy Blake? Oh yeah he had Googled him.

"Tommy? Look I'm sorry I'm an idiot. Just...it's hard sometimes to let you go. I'll do better I promise." She was greeted with...yet more silence. "Quincy? Hey! I said I was sorry! I wasn't deliberately trying to avoid you...You have to understand..." He couldn't let her ramble anymore.

"I love you. That's your hold on me!" Jude was taken aback, struck speechless, as he reminded her of the truth, a truth she had been blind to in the heat of her own pain. He still loved her and that was her claim to him. "Do you think I'm not jealous of the guys you date Jude?" He asked softly, secretly praying he was getting through to the stubborn girl.

"You are? But you never said..." She asked in wonder.

"Yes!"

"Oh..."

"That's all you have to say Harrison? Oh?" He asked of the usually entirely too verbose girl on the other end of the phone.

"I...I love you too."

"Oh..." Tommy said back and then their laughter mingled over the distance separating them. When they were both calmed down again Tommy spoke. "Jude the timing was wrong. Never us." Jude closed her eyes and hugged her old favorite teddy bear tight. She missed him so much and didn't have to wonder why the need had not slackened with time. He had a permanent hold on her and she didn't mind it in the least because he loved her back.

* * *

Jude knocked on the door she had stood in front of countless times through the years and he answered it, looking surprised, but not unhappy to see her.

"Hey...You busy?" Jamie shook his head and could tell she was upset as she stared up at him. "Do you wanna go do something? I really need to get out of here."

"Sure...Umm let me get my jacket." She waited as he went back inside coming out a minute later. "So what's wrong Jude?" She looked towards her front lawn and he followed her glance seeing the For Sale sign in the ground. "You're selling the house?!' He asked in shock.

"She said she was just testing the waters. That's what I came home to." There had been a yelling match and Jude had stormed out. Jamie put his arm around her shoulder and she leaned against him. She had missed his company more than she had realized. They had been inseparable growing up. They finally decided on the independent film festival playing in town.

Jude sat staring at the screen as Jamie mocked the dumb blond in the movie. They had sat through one movie so far and were in the middle of the second, but she had no idea what was going on, realizing she couldn't even remember what the first movie was about. Her mind was clouded with thoughts and she had hoped at the beginning of the evening that Jamie would be able to distract her. But she found his presence did not sooth her as she hoped. And she knew it was because he was not the person she wanted to lean on. She looked over suddenly, catching his attention.

"Hey I don't really feel that great..."

"Let's go then." He said with concern as he studied her pale face.

"No...You stay. I'm just gonna grab a cab and go home. I think I need some sleep."

"Are you sure Jude."

"Yeah of course. Enjoy the movie." She stood up and left to the puzzled frown of her friend.

Jude did take a taxi home, but she did not stay for long, instead grabbing what she needed from her room before leaving again.

* * *

She opened the door and clicked on the light. The air was slightly stale, but she knew a maid came in once a week to air the place. This was the first time she had let herself come here, since he had been gone. She had been tempted before, but knew it would have brought back too many memories to drop in. She didn't care about that right then, she needed familiar surroundings in a place that held good memories.

Jude entered the bedroom and slid open the closet door. She had not bothered to turn on the lights, letting the faint city lights coming in through the window, guide her way. Tommy had not taken all his clothes, he had so many. She selected a dress shirt and took off her clothes, slipping it on, letting the fabric caress her bare skin. She slid under the covers and inhaled his scent on the pillow. Her hand reached for her cell on the nightstand and she pressed a button as she tucked her arm underneath her head.

"Hey..."

"Hey....Tell me a story..."


	24. Chapter 24 part 1

**Chapter 24- Part 1**

When Jude went to use her credit card at Starbucks the next morning to get her much needed caffeine fix, it was declined. She assumed it was an error or that her mother had forgotten to pay the bill, never guessing that it could be anything more. But when she had her dad over, to look through her finances she got a shock. As he was telling her that the funds were mismanaged, but could be fixed and then that she was 10,000 in the hole with her credit card, Sadie came bursting into the house with tears in her eyes, looking nothing like the normally immaculate beautiful girl she was. She told them Victoria had eloped with Don and they were headed to Europe. Victoria had called an agent to come and look at the house. Jude and Stuart could only stare at her in shock.

"Jude um mom wanted me to tell you..." Sadie started to say, her face ravaged by grief, but Jude interrupted her.

"That she stole my money..."

"Jude..." Stuart said, not wanting her to jump to such a horrible conclusion about her mother.

"She just left Dad." As if Jude needed more proof.

* * *

He called her that night as she got ready for bed, having spent time most of the afternoon watching chick flicks with Sadie until they both decided they had had enough. She told him what had happened with her mother and his reaction was instant. He could hear the agitation clear in her voice and wanted to fix it for her.

"Do you want me to come back Girl? I can be there in a few hours." He offered sincerely.

"No!" Jude said a little too vehemently. "I...mean it's okay. I'll be okay...You don't need to come here." Tommy sounded hurt when he spoke again and she winced.

"What's going on Jude?"

"N..nothing."

"I want to see you girl." Jude squeezed her eyes shut to try and stem the tears that threatened her sanity.

"No..." She whispered and that was the hardest word she had ever said to anyone. Of course she wanted to see him and let him hold her and make her believe everything would be alright, but she couldn't.

"Why not?" He said a little angrily, knowing she was hiding something from him.

"Just let it go Tommy...Please..." Jude begged although she was weakening at the thought of seeing him and kissing him and touching him and letting him hold her.

"Jude...Why not? I want to be there for you." He said it so gently she felt herself compelled to answer.

"Because you'll leave..." She said softly. "You'll come and make me feel better and then you'll leave again. Don't you get it Tommy? I can't take another person I love leaving! Not now...." Her voice broke on the last words and it hung between them stifling, even through the phone line. He was silent for the longest time, unsure what he could possibly say. He wanted her to stop hurting, but obviously this time he couldn't fix things because she was right. He would have to go back to New York and that wasn't fair to her. And there was the confirmation again, as if he needed it, that he was in love with her. Why else could she take him on such a rollercoaster of emotion with one simple phone call, when he could not even see her lovely face or look into her expressive blue eyes. He had always hated feeling powerless, but did not begrudge her, her hold over him, making him feel so much when he had sometimes thought he had lost that ability. She showed herself to be the stronger of them, when she broke the silence.

"So how's the recording with Drew going?" He answered her automatically and as always they found solace in talking about what they both loved.

* * *

Stuart moved back in the next day, glad to be back in his girls lives in a more tangible way. He said he would try to buy the house from Victoria if he could get a loan approved. Jude was glad her dad was home, but did it have to be at the expense of a mother? She could still not quite fathom that Victoria had just left like that, without a word.

* * *

When Jude got home her sister was there waiting for her, looking upset. Sadie confessed to being the one to using the extra card Jude had received in the mail and Jude felt the sharp pain of betrayal even more deeply the second time around. Sadie returned everything she could that she had bought with Jude's credit card, and promised to get the first part time job she could find. Meanwhile Jude had not said a word and looked at Sadie with hurt and angry eyes before simply walking away. Sadie left that night and stayed at Kwest's to give Jude space, not that Jude have noticed because Sadie spent most of her free time with Kwest and her friends. In fact Jude really didn't see Sadie that often, both of their lives seemed to have gotten awfully busy, and Jude saw more of her sister at work when she was waiting for Kwest then when she was home.

The sisters made up pretty quickly when Jude admitted that Victoria had left her a letter in the mailbox that she had been afraid to open. Only Sadie could understand this shared experience. Sadie lived up to her word and got a job, at G-Major, charming Liam into hiring her as the new receptionist. Jude did not like the idea for one simple fact. It was hard to be faced with a couple starting to get closer and falling for each other. Although Jude had Blake to occupy her free time and her friends, seeing the closeness Sadie and Kwest exhibited could sometimes be extremely hard.

* * *

Her sophomore album was done and she had sent Tommy a copy to listen to. Jude had to admit she wasn't completely satisfied with the way it had turned out, even though everyone else said it was great, but Darius had a deadline and Wayne was not about to fight for more time, not that Jude thought he could do any better anyway. In that instant she simply missed the perfectionism of her old producer and not the numerous other things she usually missed about him. She waited impatiently for his reply, as she stared at the phone willing it to ring. Maybe she was making a big deal out of nothing, but deep down knew she was right. She picked up the phone as Michael Buble's Home, started to play. Her friends all though it was an odd choice and had made fun of her for it, but she didn't care.

"Congratulations Harrison. You did good."

"It would have been better with you." He knew exactly what she meant. They had been an amazing team musically, enhancing the talents of the other.

"You did fine without me Girl." And wasn't that what he had wanted? Her to learn on her own. Then why did he wish he had been there to share it all with her?

* * *

Ian was taking Jude out for dinner to celebrate the release of her second album, inviting Sadie and Kwest along. The foursome had plenty to laugh and joke about as they drove in Ian's Cadillac to the new Asian fusion restaurant everyone was raving about. He had the radio on and they were talking about Darius's excitement over the added publicity Jude was receiving from the media, when a song came on that had two of the four people's hearts step up a beat. Jude reached for the button to change the station, but Ian stopped her with his hand and gave her a puzzled look.

"I like this song."

"Ian!" Jude whined and reached for the controls again, but he slapped her hand away.

"My car! " They slapped at each others hands, until he swerved and they both had to stop. Jude could feel the color coming to her cheeks as the lyrics started. She glanced back at Kwest in gratitude in the next instant because with his long arm he had managed to bypass Ian and change it to a different station. Sadie noted the exchange between her sister and her boyfriend.

"You can't stand that song either." She commented with a question in her voice. She had loved it herself when it first came out, but Kwest had always begged her not to sing it. Jude was glad they could not make out her flushed cheeks in the dark interior of the car.

.

Ian whispered into Jude's ear at the restaurant as Sadie and Kwest got up to get some drinks for them. The service seemed to be a bit lacking.

"So why do you hate that song so much? I think it's pretty good. Does the subject matter offend you?" He teased her, but Jude stared back at him, not at all amused by his question.

"I don't hate it..." Jude sighed and wondered how much Ian really knew and how much he suspected, maybe not about the song, but about her past relationship with Tommy. "I loved it the first time I heard it." She had been amazed that he had written her a song and that she had been his inspiration. And Ian was right; it was a good song.

"Then why the big reaction?" Her eyes were mischievous as she looked up at him.

"Because I got to hear it live." That statement was so telling, Ian could barely wrap his brain around it. No one knew who sang Addicted and who it was sung about. The air of mystery had only fueled downloads for the song.

"You mean..." His voice had deepened the slightest bit since Ian had last heard him sing, but the raspy quality to it was unmistakable and Ian kicked himself for being slow. The girl who stared back at him was almost a stranger in her intensity and Ian had to do a double take. So much more than he had been previously been allowed to see churned in those expressive eyes.

"Everything you suspected Ian.... Is probably true." Why did she suddenly feel, deliciously wicked admitting that out loud? It wasn't like she had blatantly said she and Tommy had done things to and with each other that would have set the sheets on fire. Although there had been that candle incident...

"Then why did he...?" Ian could have jumped to the conclusion that Tommy had been taking advantage of her when she had been only 16, but he had learned to look beneath the surface, being a gay man in a world that was still predominantly disapproving of his sexual orientation. And he was 6 years older than JP himself and they had met when JP was still pretty young. There had been hints of course that something was going on between them, something deeper and more profound than he was used to with Tommy Quincy who last time he had known him, was self absorbed and cocky.

"Leave?" She finished his question for him. "Because I'm just a kid." Ian studied her face intensely as Kwest and Sadie wound their way through the tables towards them. Tommy had been tabloid fodder for years. Even though his Boyz Attack days were long behind him his good looks and outrageous womanizing had kept him a favorite of the tabloids. At least until the last few years when he had given the paparazzi much less to write about. Sure he had been linked to Jude once or twice, but he had not been caught doing anything sensational in the public eye. Ian trusted the timing. The news of Tommy Q. had slowly died down after he had met Jude Harrison. Only as an insider though, could he have ever made that connection. Ian thought he understood one of the reasons at least, why Tommy had left Toronto. He finally shook his head.

"I don't think so..." And in that second she fervently wished that he could tell that to Tommy.

"I'm just another one of T.Q.'s girls."

"But you're not." Tommy watched out for her in a way that Ian had never seen him care for anyone before, not even his ex-wife Portia

"Nobody knows Ian." Jude warned him.

"Knows what?" Sadie asked as they sat down again. Kwest placed Jude's iced tea in front of her. Ian quickly answered, letting Jude breathe a sigh of relief.

"How much longer this waiter is going to be."

"I know...I thought this place got good reviews." Sadie commented as the man in question finally approached. The others ordered and Ian quietly studied Jude. This girl had gotten to him in a short time and he found he wanted her to be happy.

Jude could not believe she was on the stage again, at the dreaded show she had been trying to distance herself from for a while now. She did not want to be known as the first Instant Star, wanting to be simply a musician who could stand on her own and yet here she was ready to perform and judge at the third competition. But she had an agreement with Darius and this had been his price. She had cajoled him and when that hadn't worked she had threatened him until he had finally acquiesced. Having a manager like Ian could be really useful sometimes. He had spoken on behalf of Jude, telling Darius there would be no forthcoming contracts after she was finished with obligations to him, unless he gave her a little freedom. Right now Jude was a hot commodity at G-Major and the single she had released preceding her record release had hit number 2. Darius would not risk alienating her now, when she was so popular.

She had creative control as her own producer provided she found someone else to work with, since she was still in school and doing it alone wouldn't have been feasible time wise. She had not been completely happy with how her second album had turned out with Wayne producing her. Although it was a success sales wise, she found it was too polished and too commercial. This time around she would not let someone else decide her sound.

There was a clear favorite in the house by the name of Karma, wearing a a tight gold vest, that showed her ample cleavage and all her curves. A niggling feeling of unease hit Jude as she listened to her cover Waste My Time, and she frowned even as she had to admit Karma could sing. Predictably she won the contest and Jude didn't know if she was truly happy at that turn of events or not.

* * *

There was a press conference scheduled for Karma that Portia had arranged. They wanted Jude at it also to showcase the old and the new and Jude felt that twinge of unease again, wondering if she was being replaced. The press seemed to be more interested in Jude than Karma, Jude having been the one featured in a major magazine, in what some would consider sexually suggestive attire for a 17 year old.

"Jude would you like to make a comment on your pictures in Vanity Fair?"

"I'm sorry if the photos offended anyone. I was having fun and I never thought they could be considered that suggestive." Jude joked. "Those pictures don't really show much. Karma showed more skin at the Instant Star finale." Jude thought she was being funny, but Karma did not take it that way. "Besides Karma's the reason you're all here today." Jude waved her hand in Karma's direction.

"Hi everyone." She continued on to say how honored she was and lucky blah blah blah. Jude started to tune her out, until she said words trying to make Jude look bad. Jude's eyes whipped towards Karma, eyes blazing blue. "I'd just like to state for the record. I'm a virgin." She paused for effect, before continuing. "I guess for those of us who have more experience, racy pictures in a magazine aren't a big deal. Right Jude?" Karma batted her smoky eyes at Jude innocently.

"Jude are you a virgin?" A reporter shouted from the audience.

"Who was your first?" Another asked crudely.

"Was it Shay?!"

"I don't think my love life or lack of one is anyone's business, but my own." Jude said through clenched teeth as she glared daggers at the evil she-bitch in front of her who had a saccharine smile plastered on her tan face. Darius wrapped up the conference quickly and Ian quickly pulled Jude away before she could scratch the other girl's eyes out.

* * *


	25. Chapter 24 part 2

**Chapter 24- Part 2**

Jude had been banned from the bar mitzvah for a G Major board member's son, D had arranged for her to be at and she had been angry, even though she had not wanted to do it in the first place. Karma had eagerly accepted the chance to replace her, getting her blood boiling even more. All because of those stupid pictures in Vanity Fair, which actually...had gotten her some great publicity. Apparently this kid's dad didn't think much of her new reputation, not wanting her to corrupt his son. So Jude did what any sane teenage girl would do, she crashed the party with Patsy in tow.

"Hey that song sounds familiar." Patsy commented, still scanning the party for the real booze and not those virgin drinks being passed around. Jude gaped as she stared at the girl on the stage.

"That's because it's my song." Jude said through gritted teeth as she left her friend to march towards Karma. Patsy grinned and wandered off in search of something stronger to get her through this annoying gathering.

Jude and Karma battled to one up the other with their singing, but it was clear Jude was the fan favorite. Karma could not stand that the spotlight was not centered on her, so when the cake was rolled out the two of them got into a fight as Patsy tried to help her friend how she knew best. Jude laughed as Karma got shoved into the giant multi-tiered birthday cake, not noticing the draft.

"Uh Jude. Boob." Patsy said and Jude looked at her chest in horror finally realizing that Karma had pulled her top down as she'd fallen, to reveal her breast. She put her arms to her chest in horror as the tweens continued to aim their picture phones and cameras at her.

****

*

Jude sat there, not paying much attention to the commotion in front of her as her father yelled at Darius for letting her be exploited like that. Of course Stuart had also caught SME making fun of her little incident in rather graphic detail of Spied having a grapefruit fall out of the bra he was wearing. She was lucky at least that no full frontal shots had made it online; Kyle had checked every site he could. She rolled her eyes thinking of her pervy band mates. BOYS! Stuart waved one of the multiple tabloid's featuring Jude on the cover, in front of D's face, asking how his seventeen year old could be exploited like that, that he had thought this place was about making music. Darius pointed out that the publicity was good for record sales and Jude had to stifle a snort. It was a little hard for Jude to be too upset about flashing her boob when a man has had you underneath him writhing and naked, screaming his name. Sure it was embarrassing, but she was no saint. Jude giggled and the two men turned to stare at her.

"Sorry..." She mouthed. They looked at her like she had two heads before Stuart turned back to Darius and demanded he fix it. She heard Darius say something about having to admit his daughter was hot and had to hide a laugh behind a cough.

*

"Um Harrison not that I would ever complain about getting naked pictures of you, but I have seen them before." Tommy commented at the tabloid picture she had emailed him. His nonchalance of it, lightened her mood. Although the pictures hadn't embarrassed her to death, she was still just a teenage girl and had never been much of an exhibitionist. And there had been the odd moral purist who had called her a whore. How was she supposed to take something like that?

"That's your only comment?"

"You're asking the guy who woke up in Strawberry Field's Memorial to Japanese tourists snapping pictures of him."

"So? That sounds pretty PG."

"I was butt naked." He smiled at her laughter as he found the old tabloid picture online and emailed her with it. When she opened the file she grinned. It was definitely him, a little younger, but familiar to her appreciative eyes.

"Mmmm I've always loved your body." Jude murmured as she stared at the poorly pixilated pictures of a younger undressed Tommy with the important parts blocked out. And she didn't even have to imagine the whole show, having gotten up close and personal with every part of him. She heard a groan on the other line.

"Don't say it like that Harrison...Not unless you can do something about it!" Jude gave a small laugh.

"Does my talking dirty turn you on Quincy?"

"Jude!" He warned, but she laughed again.

"What are you wearing?" She asked teasingly. "Or you could ask me what I'm not wearing?"

"You realize I'm at work? Maybe we can continue this discussion later?" Tommy ducked his head, shifting his lower body farther under the soundboard, as his rock band Destroyed Paradise played on the other side of the glass.

"Maybe..." She blinked as she heard the dial tone. He had hung up on her! Jude grinned to herself as she snapped her phone shut.

*

Stuart heard his youngest daughter on the phone yet again through her door. Jude never used to be such a girly girl. He shook his head and smiled, glad to be back home. Although he couldn't make out all the words to the conversation he could hear the bright emotion in her voice. He remembered there was once a time when Victoria had spoken to him like that, when they had first fallen for one another. He felt Jude slipping away, at the realization that she was in love for the first time. He frowned, because although he had tried to like her new boyfriend, the whole hitting on her while he'd been standing right there at the film premiere was a strike against him, hinting at a character he wasn't entirely sure he trusted.

As he made his way down the stairs, he heard a knock at the front door. He stared at the boy standing in the doorway in puzzlement as he turned his head to look up towards the second floor.

"Hi Mr. Harrison." Blake said politely. Stuart greeted him, still confused.

"Were you just on the phone with Jude?" Blake shook his head and it suddenly dawned on Stuart that he knew less than he should about his daughter's life. Jude had always been an open book. When did she suddenly have things to hide?

*

Kwest and Sadie took Jude out to a surprise lunch and they both looked like they had something to tell her, but neither of them seemed to be able to get it out.

"What?!" Sadie jumped a little at Jude's demanding voice. "Would you just tell me already?" Jude asked as she picked up some noodles with her chopsticks.

"Jude Kwest asked me to move in with him a while back. I told him I had to think about it, with Mom gone all the time...But now that Dad's here..." Jude blinked at them in surprise.

"You're moving in together?" Jude uttered.

"Yeah. We found this nice apartment near G-Major." Kwest explained as he wrapped an arm around Sadie's shoulder and she leaned into him. Jude looked down at her food again.

"Um that's great. I can get SME to help you move your stuff..." Jude offered, and wondered if her voice sounded strained to anyone but herself. Sadie smiled at Kwest in relief.

"See I told you she'd be okay with it." Kwest said to her as they kissed lightly. Jude turned her head away and concentrated on moving her food around. She felt like she was getting entirely too good at hiding her true feelings. Was there something wrong with her, that everyone kept leaving?

"So when are you leaving?" Jude asked over the lump in her throat.

"We can start moving the beginning of the month." Sadie said with a sparkle in her eye. It was exciting for her to finally be leaving home, like a rite of passage.

*

It was funny how things worked out Jude thought sometimes as she dabbed on a little eyeliner before Blake showed up. She had always considered them pretty casual with the occasional kisses thrown in, but he had pointed out the other day that neither of them had been seeing anyone else since they had met. She didn't take his comment too seriously, because they had both agreed going in that they hadn't wanted anything too heavy.

Jude left Blake in her bedroom, to get them some drinks, where they had gone to listen to the Pixies CD she had insisted he hear. He was glad that her father had gone out, leaving them all alone in the house. Parents had never been his thing. His eyes wandered to the laptop on her desk he and realized with all his traveling he hadn't checked his email in a few days. When he opened it and started to log onto his account an IM flashed onto the screen.

TMQN:

_Hey big eyes haven't heard from you in a while_

Blake frowned at the endearment this person had addressed his girlfriend with. His fingers were poised at the keys to reply, when Jude came back with two glasses of soda in hand. She could see what he was looking at and quickly put the drinks down to walk to his side. She had never told him about Tommy, knowing he could not have possibly understood. Her attempt to distract him was a little desperate, as she took his hand and pulled him away from her desk, sure to shut the laptop. She pushed him onto the bed and sat beside him.

"So how do you like the music?" He shrugged, not wanting to offend her by insulting her tastes.

"A little too punk for me. So who's TMQN?" He asked curiously.

"Just an old friend...So you never said hi to me." She said flirtatiously to distract him. He grinned as he put his hands on her waist.

"I didn't huh?" It all started with a kiss, but soon his hands wandered underneath her shirt and she froze. Her palms pushed at his chest until he let go.

"Jude what's wrong?"

"I'm not ready to do this with you."

"We've been seeing each other for months. You invited me up to your bedroom." He said in disbelief. "Come on Jude...You are so beautiful..." He whispered as he leaned in and his mouth grazed her neck. She flinched at his too intimate touch and shifted away from him.

"What is the problem? Do you like getting guys turned on and then leaving them cold?!" Jude stared at him as fury blazed through her eyes. No guy had the right to pressure a girl like this. She grabbed him through his pants and squeezed. Patsy would have been proud.

"Is this what you want from me?" He groaned and nodded his head. She let go and looked at him disdainfully. "Then you don't need a girlfriend. All you need is $40 and the right street corner." He gave her a half hurt, half shocked expression, but she did not soften to it.

"Are you going to hold onto your virginity until you're married or something?" She leaned in close to his ear, her warm breath tickled his skin.

"What makes you think I'm still a virgin?" He was still in shock at this side of Jude he had never seen before. She stood up with her hands on her hips in a combative stance. "I think you should leave."

"Maybe we should take a break so you can figure out what you really want Jude. Cuz it sure as hell doesn't seem like it's me." He said angrily as he grabbed his jacket from her bed.

"You're breaking up with me because I won't sleep with you?" She asked in disbelief, but he would not answer her. He slammed her bedroom door behind him as he left. She heard his shoes pounding down the steps and rolled her eyes, wondering if what he said was true.

.

After a long moment Jude made her way to her computer to see if Tommy was still online. He asked if he could call her and she agreed.

"Tommy do you think I'm a tease?" Tommy coughed, trying to stifle the laughter that wanted to break through.

"Girl I think you're asking the wrong guy." He couldn't control his mirth then.

"What's so funny?" She said in an indignant tone. It was a perfectly valid question wasn't it? Blake had just accused her of leading him on.

"Well you were busy fucking my brains out two hours after we met. So no, I know you're not a tease"

"I can't believe you just said that! That was so wrong!" Humor and shock were clear in her voice.

"Would you believe it sounded better in my head?"

"No!" They were both laughing so hard at that point neither of them could speak.

Sadie popped her head in the doorway, having just gotten home from the library. She was a little frazzled from working on an economics paper.

"Hold on" Jude said to the phone as she greeted her sister.

"Who's on the phone?"

"Uh Spied..."

"Great I'm the surfer dude now." Tommy grumbled.

"Where's Blake. I thought you two were hanging out tonight?" Sadie asked.

"We got in a fight and he left." Jude sighed.

"About what?" Sadie asked curiously as she walked into the room and sat at the desk, making herself comfortable. She loved gossip.

"I guess cuz I wouldn't put out." Sadie widened her eyes in surprise.

"Wow I kinda thought you already had...I mean he's hot and famous. And you've been seeing a lot of him." Jude just shrugged, not wanting to say too much with Tommy on the phone. She knew they both had jealousy issues.

"So why not Blake? You've been dating him for a while so you must like him. Is he a good kisser?"

"Yeah..."

"Has he done anything else?" Tommy waited with bated breath for her answer.

"Not really... It just didn't feel right Sades."

"How do you know until you try it? It's not like you have anything to compare it to." Tommy's laughter was unmistakable on the line and Jude growled under breath before she told him to shut up. Sadie blinked at her sister's angry tone.

"I don't think he's the one." That finally made Tommy quiet.

"Ahh don't worry about it little sis. You'll know when the time's right." But had she that first time? Jude didn't think so. Her reaction to Tommy had just been that all consuming.

*

Jude watched her angry friend take another shot as they sat at The Chain. There was no show scheduled that night so the place was pretty quiet. Patsy had shown up at her house earlier that day and immediately dragged her away. Jude had been with her all day, driving around and hanging out, trying to get her friend out of this angry mood she was in. All Patsy would say was not to let the corporate dogs get her down. Jude would not know until later that Patsy had counted Jamie among that list. Patsy took what looked like a contract out of her leather jacket and set fire to it, they both watched it burn on the scarred table, leaving a charred reminder behind.

"Uh Pat's that's not the only copy. They have the originals locked up." Jude said stupidly, not thinking how the other girl would react. Patsy was out the door before Jude could stop her. She frowned worriedly and reached for her cell phone to call Jamie.

*

They both arrived at G-Major at the same time, to find Patsy breaking into the locked filing cabinets, cutting herself in the process. Seeing Jamie had only fuelled her anger and she blew out of there before either of them could stop her. Jamie went to go after her, but Jude stopped him. She knew Patsy would listen to no one until she had cooled down. Later that night a call came that shattered both their worlds.

Jude paced the small waiting area as Jamie stood there, frozen in his own private nightmare. She kept saying Patsy would be alright, but deep down she didn't trust her own words. When the doctor came out asking who was there for the young crash victim, they both immediately rushed over. The news had Jude hugging herself tightly, unable to take in the reality. Patsy couldn't be gone... Jude had been with her just a few hours before. The police came then to ask them questions, explaining that Patsy had run straight into a cement bridge pylon. They asked if she had been drinking.

*

"Hey." Jude said softly, when he answered the phone. It had been so late when she had finally gotten home last night that she hadn't wanted to wake him.

"Hey..." He waited a beat for her to say something else as he tried to listen to his artist at the same time. "I'm in the middle of a recording session Girl. Is there something important that you called about or can I talk to you later?" He asked distractedly. He was always single-minded when he worked. There was something off about Anna's high notes and he appreciated Jude's vocal range that much more.

"Later is fine..." She said, her voice sounding hollow. Before he could remark on it she had said goodbye and hung up.

The next person to call him was Kwest. His best friend was more informative, but even he sounded a bit off.

"Are you okay man?" Patsy had been Kwest's first artist and although they had never become friends, they had worked closely together.

"Yeah. I'll be fine...Jude though...She was the last person to see Patsy alive." Tommy should have known something was wrong. She had not sounded like herself. When she answered her phone he asked her softly why she hadn't told him.

"There's nothing you can do." She said painfully honest, at least not hundreds of kilometers away, in another country. He would have offered to fly back to Toronto that day, but knew what had happened the last time he had offered. It was getting so hard to remember why he had left in the first place.

"Jude...Don't shut me out."

"I won't Tommy. I just....It doesn't seem real. I keep expecting to wake up and realize this is all just a bad dream..."

"I know baby..."

*

The memorial had gone the way it should have, without selling Patsy's memory to the highest bidder. She was surrounded by her friends the real ones that had been banned from the G-Major memorial, as they gathered at her favorite spot, the beach. Jamie was the only one absent from this gathering, having refused to miss work for this. Jude could only wonder if it was guilt and pain talking or had her best friend really changed so much without her noticing. Jude sang the beautiful song Patsy had shown her, Darkness 'Round the Sun, that last fateful day, using the scraps of paper she Kyle and Wally had found at the rehearsal space with the lyrics scribbled on them.

__

Somewhere there's a sea that has no other side

Somewhere there's an airplane lost, beyond the sky

So fly us up, above the clouds

Live your life where you are now

In the darkness 'round the sun

There's life behind your eyes

When you've lost the will to run

You can feel it start to shine

When the rain falls down so hard

And you don't know where to start

Drownin in the sun

Somewhere someone thinks they've found the perfect love

And you think you found the answer to all of this

So hang on, sometimes we miss

I'll be your perfect kiss

In the darkness 'round the sun

There's life behind your eyes

When you've lost the will to run

You can feel it start to shine

When the rain falls down so hard

You don't know where to start

Drownin' in the sun

Drownin' in the sun

They remembered her, speaking of the crazy things she had done and the gentle heart that lay beneath that tough as nails exterior. Jude couldn't help thinking Jamie should have been there instead of at G-Major with corporate executives that had never even met her. She did not know this new Jamie, that had sold out his girlfriend to make an album, using the song Patsy had hated as the title track. And he had blamed Jude for Patsy's death. They scattered her ashes, that Jude and Spied had stolen from G-Major late last night, into the water and said their goodbyes. There had been no listed next of kin, so her company had taken it upon themselves to hold a memorial. One by one everyone drifted away.

Spied and Jude were the last ones left on the beach with the small waves lapping at their shoes. They held each other as they thought of their friend, who was gone forever.

"I let her leave that night. She was so pissed off...I thought she needed to cool down." She sounded if she was confessing a multitude of heinous sins, which made him look at her with a searching gaze.

"Jude it was a horrible accident. You know how Patsy was. You couldn't have stopped her." Conviction was clear in his tone.

"Jamie blames me." She whispered as her voice cracked.

"The guy who she broke up with because she wouldn't conform to his music demands. You believe him?" Spied asked incredulously. Jamie it seemed didn't feel any responsibility, although it was his pressuring that had set Patsy off in the first place. She looked into his hazel eyes with shock.

"She broke up with him?" That explained at least part of the funk Patsy had been in that day.

"He didn't tell you." Spied said with disgust. "Come on Jude. You heard what they did to Shooting Star. Kwest might not have gotten Patsy, but Jamie knew her."

"Yeah..."

"So where's Blake? I thought he would be here for you."

"He never liked Patsy. Thought she was bad for my image. I don't think he really gets me Vin." Jude admitted to him. They had gotten back together on a conditional basis, after he had apologized for being a royal jerk. Jude had never been one to hold grudges and she had had a lot of fun in his company before. "What about Donna?" Spied had started dating a brunette from their school, who was one grade below them, a little while after they had broken up. Jude liked the girl, but had not gotten a chance to get to know her better.

"We aren't together anymore." He looked out into the distance to avoid her eyes. He didn't want to admit why they had broken up. "She didn't get the music. Or all the stuff that goes along with our work." Jude nodded, understanding right away. It could be hard for non-industry people to get their lives. Sometimes she felt so disconnected from Kat, but still made an effort to be in her friend's life, even though they had less in common than they once did. Spied couldn't tell her about the other woman who had seduced her way into his life, knowing she would not understand, especially not about this particular one.

"You know what I learned from this? You need to live life like you mean it. Cuz it could be over, just like that. Hold on to what you love." Jude looked at him in surprise, clearly wondering if he was trying to send her a deeper message as if he knew who she was aching for. She nodded her head slowly and she took his hand as they headed back towards her car. And she knew in that moment what she would do, for herself.

*

Jude walked away from him, not even believing in her own anger. Blake had come by after school the following day to see her, having just gotten back from California. He stood by his car and watched her stalk across the road to the school parking lot. They were taking another break. Maybe it would stick this time. He had come back and just expected her to act normal and let him take up where they had left off. Her friend had just died and instead of comfort or understanding he was merely puzzled, not getting why she had liked Patsy in the first place. She remembered clearly how he had said Patsy was bad for her image, and Jude snorted, knowing he only cared about his own. He had wanted her attention, but refused to validate her grief. Jude shook her head and wondered why she even cared.

Jude put on her sunglasses and finger combed her tangled hair out as she stared at her reflection in the rearview mirror. It was Friday and she had places to be.


	26. Chapter 25 part 1

_Okay I'm bummed that DLS is down so if anyone has any info on that please PM me. And here's part of one of my favorite chapters. ENJOY and please review. It is discouraging when people seem to be reading and don't leave any feedback. Music is Sober by Pink._

**Chapter 25- Part 1**

He heard the knock at the door and even though this was New York City, he opened it without thinking. It was the first early day he'd had off in weeks and he just wanted to get rid of the person on the other side so he could go back to relaxing. Maybe later he would venture out and have a drink, but for now he was content to just kick back. He froze as he took in the person in front of him.

"Hi....I um had to get away from things...."

**

Ian paced back and forth in frustration as he yet again heard her voicemail pick up. Dammit where was she?! She was supposed to be interviewed for the Sunday music column of a local paper to promote her upcoming tour and new album. No one had answered at her house and no one had seen her since school. He was ready to chuck his phone at the nearest wall when it started to ring.

"Jude!" He snarled.

"Ian...It's Sadie." He took a deep breath and willed the throbbing vein in his forehead to stop.

"Is Jude alright?" He asked more calmly.

"I think so..."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know...I've been trying to get through to her phone. Anyway I just got home and she left a note on the counter, saying she was taking a few days off and not to worry."

"She had an interview this afternoon." Ian growled. He heard her sigh.

"You should know my sister can be kind of impulsive Ian. And with Patsy's accident, she's been kind of high strung. I'll keep trying her cell...Portia's supposed to fit her for her tour clothes this weekend too."

"She didn't say where she was going? "

"No...She said she'd be back by Monday though." It was Ian's turn to sigh. He headed for the reporter as he thought up an excuse.

"Thanks for calling Sadie."

**

When he continued to just stare at her, his gaze intense, she started to blush. His finger reached out and caught a stray blond curl. He had never seen her in person with golden locks before, only in magazines and tabloids. It had been so many months, the impact of her presence was jarring to his system. At his continued silence she started to panic

"God I'm sorry I shouldn't have come....I..." She made a move to turn, but he grabbed her arm before she could take a single step. He pulled her inside and shut the door behind them. Tommy's lips found hers and her duffel bag dropped to the floor as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He held her face in his hands as he deepened the kiss. She moaned into his mouth, as his tongue played with hers. Missing. He had been missing this, missing her, much more than he realized. Her slight frame molded to him perfectly as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

.

He walked them to his bedroom and lay her down gently on the bed. Seeing her lying there, was sapping his self control with lightning speed. Jude could see the way his eyes had darkened as their gazes met and her hands flew to the button of her jeans. He was pulling his black tank top off as she unzipped her pants and struggled with her shoes. Before she could finish unbuttoning her shirt he was on her, his body pressing her down into the comforter. Her arms pulled his head down so their mouths could meet. His fingers had already drifted low to her silky inner thighs and she gasped as he found her already wet for him. Jude threw her head back as his mouth ravished her neck and she felt the head of him pushing into her. She was so tight he barely fit, he had to force himself to hold back. His eyes met her wild ones.

"Are you alright?" He asked, barely able to stop himself from simply burying himself in her warm wet depths. Her answer was to grab his ass with her hands and pull his hips forward, until his motion had been completed. They were both breathing hard as they savored the feelings the other invoked in them. She was stretched wide by him, gripping him so tightly he thought he could almost come from any shift of her lower body. The respite did not last more than a few seconds before he was withdrawing and thrusting into her again. Her hips raised to meet his, as her hands grabbed the headboard. His hands covered hers as they both began to drown in the onslaught of pleasure brought on by skin rubbing against skin.

He slowed just enough to work his hand between their joined bodies so that he could part her folds more fully, exposing her sensitive nub. He rubbed with the pad of his finger as he pushed into her, filling her completely. She cried out and pulled his lips down to hers as their tongues met, the pleasure became almost unbearable. He could feel her muscles convulsing around him, centering everything he was into that single focal point. And he screamed into her mouth, echoing her cries as his release tore through him. Tommy collapsed onto his back beside her, both of them panting as if they had run a 500 meter sprint. His fingers found hers and they lay there until they could finally think coherently again.

He felt her fumbling to get her sweat drenched shirt and black lace bra off, before she curled into his side, resting her head against his shoulder. Jude gave a small laugh.

"What?" He asked looking down at her blond head, his hand going to stroke the damp curls.

"I guess you _were_ glad to see me."

"Any more glad and I don't think either of us would be moving." She giggled again, the adrenaline rush having brought on a state of euphoria, or maybe it was just him that made her feel lightheaded and giddy like this. Neither of them even thought to question why this was so easy.

It wasn't long before she became aware with her other senses. She buried her nose in his shoulder and inhaled sharply. Her tongue flicked out to taste the salt on his neck, causing a shudder to run through him. She teased his skin, leaving little red marks, nipping with her teeth as her tongue soothed the slight pain. She took her time to taste him, trying to figure something out.

"You've been strangely fascinated with my neck Harrison. There are other parts of my body that are pleading for attention." She grinned up at him, before continuing her exploration.

"Why do you smell so good?" She murmured as her tongue traced a line from his collarbone to a spot behind his ear. Okay maybe he didn't mind what she was doing to his neck so much. Her head dipped lower to his shoulder and realized the scent was all over his skin so it couldn't be a new cologne, although she had liked his old one just fine. Her lips grazed his skin, her long hair trailing behind, sliding against his heated flesh as she drew lower. Her nose was suddenly pressed against his stomach and he was breathing hard, his muscles sadly quivering. Her tongue dipped into his belly button and he groaned audibly. Was she trying to torture him? The touch of her tongue shot down to his groin and he was aching for her mouth to move even lower. His hand fisted in her golden hair as she continued her assault on his body. His body clenched in anticipation when he felt her hot breath brush against his arousal and then she had him in her mouth, wetting his skin before she began to move along the hard length. He was breathing hard as she sucked while pulling back and stroked with her tongue while taking him in again. He wouldn't let himself get completely lost in the powerful pleasure she was giving him, because what he wanted more was to share hers as well.

He pulled her up until she lay half on top of him, her leg between his, their mouths meeting in a languorous kiss. She shifted until she lay completely over him and he pushed up to meet her as she straightened to align her core to his hardness. His hands cupped her breasts reverently as she used her weight to sink on him, taking his entire length into her heat. The moan was mutual as she began to ride him slowly while his fingertips kissed her erect nipples. Soon he was thrusting up as she pressed down. She let her head fall back, long hair sweeping her back, as she moved with him, until small frissons danced up her spine. She lowered her head to catch his lips as the building tension grew that much sweeter. Tommy's hands were at her hips anchoring her in place as he pressed into her hard, pistoning up quickly. For the second time that night, she cried out. her inner muscles gripping his arousal so snugly he was almost driven mad by the sensation. He felt himself lose control and let himself go over this time, the rush knocking the air out of his lungs. Their eyes locked, his hands still on her hips as the last spasms took their toll on his spent body.

"I love you." He said as he brought his fingers up to caress her damp cheek.

"I love you too." He pulled her down onto his chest and covered them with the comforter, they had tangled up on one side. They started to doze; the simple presence of the other, lulling them both into a light sleep.

**

Tommy woke to a body pressed snugly against him and a funny noise coming from that body. He shifted to look down at her and her eyes met his as her stomach gave another indelicate grumble. He shook his head in amusement and got out of bed, reaching for his boxers.

"So do you want to go out or stay in?" She only wanted to be with him tonight.

"Stay in." The t-shirt he handed her from his dresser came to mid-thigh, engulfing her slender frame. She took his proffered hand and he pulled her onto her feet, leading her into the kitchen. Jude sat on a stool at the kitchen island watching him appreciatively as he whipped some eggs for an omelet. She couldn't help but let him fill the void that Patsy's death had caused and wished this wasn't just a dream.

.

After they had eaten and made coffee, they found their way to the living room, where they sat close together her head resting on his shoulder. His fingers stroked her curls idly. Later they might talk, but they weren't in a hurry to do anything but enjoy being together again.

"Do you have anything new for me to look at?" Jude nodded and leaned over the side of the couch to get her journal from her bag. She sat back down, a small distance away this time, unsure how he would like this change of style.

"I wrote some of it after Patsy's memorial and finished it on the plane." He flipped through the pages until the latest entry. She watched his face for signs of how he felt about the song. It was so radically different from her previous work and so adult he had to read it twice. It floored him, in its content and its powerful statement. His gaze was searching her face as if he could find all the answers in her expression. She had changed, he slowly began to realize, not the core of her, but she wasn't that same slightly naïve girl he had left behind.

"Is this you?" What else had she been doing while he'd been gone? Jude shrugged self-consciously as she reached for her cup and took another sip of coffee.

"Some of it....Most of it's Patsy. But it scared me ya know?"

"What did? Her death?"

"I could see how all of it could happen." There were so many things unspoken in those words, but he understood what she meant. A part of her could empathize with that wildness of Patsy and would it have been so hard to wind up down that same road? He met her eyes, so vulnerable and beautiful and he was scared. Because he had no control, no way to truly guide her from where he stood. Jude could have been in that car that fateful night. Tommy pulled her into his arms in a slight panic and she went willingly, breathing him in. He felt the dampness on his chest.

"Harrison when I said have adventures I didn't mean quite like this." He said as he pulled back to look at her face again. She gave a watery laugh.

"I never was good at listening was I?" He pulled her in as she started to crumple. "I've never known anyone my own age die before....Me and Jamie were the last ones to see her alive..." She whispered into his neck. He had and it was the worst feeling in the world. He would not let her feel that kind of guilt. He took her tear streaked cheeks in his hands, rubbing a thumb across her lips. He caught her eyes with his own.

"Jude I know you don't believe it'll get better right now...But it will...I promise..." She nodded wordlessly and let him engulf her in his embrace once again. "Do you have music for it?" He asked, needing to know the whole effect of the song. She nodded. "Guitar?"

"For now..." She waited as he went into the guest bedroom for his acoustic. He perched on the chair opposite her as she took a deep breath and began to play.

_I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest  
Or the girl who never wants to be alone  
I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning_

_'Cos I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home_

_Aahh the sun is blinding  
Aahh I stayed up again  
Oohh, I am finding  
That's not the way I want my story to end_

_I'm safe up high_

_Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside_

_You're my protection  
How do I feel this good sober?_

_I don't wanna be the girl who has to fill the silence  
The quiet scares me 'cos it screams the truth  
Please don't tell me that we had that conversation  
I won't remember, save your breath, cuz what's the use?_

_Aahh, the night is callin  
And it whispers to me softly, come and play_

_Aahh, I am fallin  
And If I let myself go, I'm the only one to blame_

_I'm safe up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside  
You're like perfection  
How do I feel this good sober?_

_Coming down, coming down, coming down  
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round  
Lookin for myself, sober_

_Coming down, coming down, coming down  
Spinning 'round, spinning 'round, spinning 'round  
Lookin for myself, sober_

_When it's good, then it's good, it's so good til it goes bad  
Til you're trying to find the you that you once had  
I have heard myself cry, never again  
Broken down in agony just tryin to find a friend_

_Ooo Oooo_

_I'm safe up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside  
You're like perfection  
How do I feel this good sober  
How do I feel this good sober_

_I'm safe up high  
Nothing can touch me  
But why do I feel this party's over?  
No pain inside  
You're like perfection  
How do I feel this good sober  
How do I feel this good sober_

Her eyes raised from the guitar to meet his. He was overwhelmed by the possibilities. Her next album would be the best yet, he knew it from that one song, as long as she found the right person to work with. Jude's eyes wandered away from his nervously and she looked down at the coffee table noticing the magazine on it for the first time. She picked it up and studied the glossy cover."So how'd you like the pictures?" He cleared his throat not wanting to admit the feelings they had invoked.

"Nice tie." A small smile played on her lips as he got up from his seat and sat down beside her. "I used to have one just like it."

"Yeah?" He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him as she set his guitar on the table. "So do I get an autograph?" He pulled a Sharpie from the end table drawer and handed it to her. She wrote a message and signed it with a flourish handing it back to him. As he looked down, her lips were suddenly pressed against his and he let it fall to the floor as his arms wrapped around her.

_To Tommy,_

_Thank you being my biggest fan_

_and for loving me._

_Jude_

_**_

Tommy opened his eyes to the mid-morning sun streaming through the crevices of his blinds, smiling at the warm body tangled with his. Her blond hair was fanned out on his chest, he was still getting used to the color, but thankfully none of the strands had made their way into his mouth this time and her arm was draped possessively around his hip. For a guy who was used to slumbering alone he had slept amazingly well and he knew it was because of her. He grinned realizing she was still dead to the world and couldn't really blame her. He had kept her up pretty late last night and even though he felt invigorated this morning there had been a lot of physical exertion.

He couldn't help himself from tracing the sweet curve of her thigh to her hip, up her ribcage and then to the gentle swell of her breast. He ran the pad of his thumb over the delicate nub, until it tightened under his ministrations. When that didn't get a conscious response from her his hand moved lower, until he slid his fingers along her lower lips, spreading the moisture around. He felt a hand slowly moving up his thigh and cupping him. Her bright eyes opened to look up at him.

"Are you trying to take advantage of me?" She murmured.

"Could be." She grinned and gave his balls a gentle squeeze, shooting a frisson of pleasure through him. They both moved so that they faced each other, their lips meeting in an unhurried kiss. She slung one leg over his hip, as his hand touched her intimately, rubbing at her tender button. She moaned into his mouth and arched her lower half closer to his now completely hard length. He pushed into her with a shallow thrust, taking her face in his hands to stare into her big eyes. He bit at her parted lower lip as he continued to push inside of her going deeper with every stroke. Her fingers raked up the middle of his lower back, causing it to arch in sensation, in turn causing him to press as deep as he could get at their angle. Every slow stroke built them higher and Jude stifled a soft cry on his shoulder as she felt the pleasure sweep over her. It did not end as his movements quickened and another orgasm, smaller but more intense rushed through her as he groaned his own release against her heated skin. They stayed wrapped together until the position became uncomfortable as they came down from their joint high.

In the shower she found out just why he smelled so good. He had gotten a new shower gel, Armani Code, and she let him lather it onto her wet flesh. They didn't make it to breakfast until it was almost time for lunch.

.

They held hands as they got into the elevator and he leaned down to sniff her.

"I think it smells better on you." He whispered teasingly against her ear as the doors slid open to reveal an old couple that smiled at them. Jude's instinct was to pull away from him, but he held onto her hand and she let the moment pass as they exchanged looks. This was New York, not Toronto and although she had gained popularity in the states she wasn't that famous yet.

**

They had spent most of the afternoon indoors, watching TV and fighting about shows to watch, just reveling in being together.

"Is there anywhere you want to go?" She got this mischievous grin on her face that had him grinning back. Who knew Tommy could smile this much.

"Well...I've always wanted to go to Serendipity." She named a famous New York ice cream place that was supposed to have divine concoctions. He let out a bark of laughter.

"That figures."

"Why?!" His hands were on her hips pulling her in close.

"Because you can eat like someone twice your size when you want to. Actually make that three times." He said as his eyes skimmed her slender frame.

"Hey!" She hit his arm in outrage. "I haven't been eating that much."

"Are you eating at all Harrison?" She felt so slight in his arms. She tensed at his words.

"I...Of course I am...When I remember..."

"Jude." He put his finger under her chin and tipped it up to meet her eyes. "You have to take better care of yourself. Promise me." She nodded once.

"I know...It's just...I always used to have mom or Sadie to watch out for me..."

"Where's Sadie?"

"I forgot to tell you...She and Kwest are moving in together the beginning of the month. She's been busy packing and buying stuff for the apartment." Actually Jude had tried to put the departure from her mind and that's why she'd never mentioned it to Tommy. Sadie and Kwest. Tommy thought he could see it, even though she'd always acted like a crazed groupie around him. That yet another person was leaving her did not escape him.

"So it's just you and your Dad?"

"Yeah...He's been kind of busy though, taking on outside work...Cuz he wants to buy the house from Mom." She shook her head. "And he won't let me help even though I have the money." She grumbled. "So Serendipity?" She asked trying to change the mood back to the previous lighthearted one. He nodded as she looped her arm through his. "And then dinner?" Of course she thought she could eat after one of Serendipity's massive sundaes, which of course she would order. Tommy chuckled.

"Anything you want." He said as he pulled her towards the door.

**

After ice cream they did find their way to a little Indian place in the Village. They opted to walk, holding hands and acting like any normal couple would on a Saturday night. The streets were packed with people and they barely got a second glance as they passed.

Jude opened her mouth fanning it ineffectually with her hand as Tommy looked at her amused. She reached for the water glass and downed half the contents before he could warn her.

"I told you three chili peppers meant it was insanely hot. Oh and water just makes it that much worse. Try the bread." He said smugly, as she stuffed a piece of Naan bread in her mouth. She glared at him as she chewed. He watched in astonishment as she took another big forkful of the curry and swallowed, her eyes watering. Then she drank a large swallow of water. And then she had his head trapped in her hands as her mouth pressed down on his forcefully. His was open in surprise and she shoved her tongue into his mouth. Oh hell that burned! She licked the roof of his mouth and tangled her tongue with his. But he couldn't find the will to pull away from her even though his mouth was now on fire too. For the first time ever, they ignored the chance of watchful eyes and gave in to the contact.

She pulled back first, giving his lower lip a light tug before she licked hers in satisfaction, waiting, a little apprehensively, for his reaction. They had never had PDA before. His eyes had darkened to that stormy sea blue she loved so much, but the look was the one that made her feel like she was the only one in the room. She looked around in surprise. Jude Harrison had just made out in a public restaurant with Tommy Quincy and no one cared! There was the occasional curious gaze, they had been making out after all, but no flicker of recognition from any of the eyes upon the young attractive couple.

God it was liberating and a tantalizing taste of how life could have been if she wasn't that girl that wanted to be a rock star. Because he would have called and maybe he would have been okay with the age thing if she hadn't been his protégé, okay maybe not okay with the age thing, but it wouldn't have been nearly as big of a deal. And he had very little self control where she was concerned, she knew that for a fact. So maybe...She shook her head to rid herself of the 'maybes' because they wouldn't change what 'was'. Their time had still not arrived or so he believed. This little interlude was so sweet, she made herself forget about Monday, but the tinge of bitter lay underneath. Because although it was not him doing the leaving, they would still be apart again.

**

"You're kinda quiet girl." He said brushing the hair from her cheek as they sat on the couch, she between his legs leaning back onto his chest, his arms wrapped around her. They had just gotten back from a show at a local club and were unwinding before going to bed. She turned her head and looked into his eyes.

"Losing Patsy made me realize that it could all be over... just like that Tommy. I'm just going to say it okay? Don't interrupt. I want you in my life. I want to see you every day and that look you save just for me. I want to write music with you and make love with you. The thing is I am happy even though you're not in Toronto. I have my music...but you and I both know how much better it is when there's someone to share it with." He caressed her cheek with the back of his hand and she leaned into it. He had never met a person like her who could put it all out there like that and it was scary, because he cared.

"Do you know how many times I wanted to pick up the phone and just tell you to take off with me?" He hugged her tighter against him.

"I would have come."

"I know..."And that's exactly why he had never asked. She deserved to live her dream and he wouldn't be the one to take that away from her.


	27. Chapter 25 part 2

_The music in this chapter is Love Remains the Same by Gavin Rosdale and Realize by Cobie Cailat and Lost by Michael Buble. Take a moment to tell me what you think._

Tracy and Lindsey were in the city celebrating Tracy's birthday today. They had hopped a train from a New Jersey suburb and were on their way to an early Broadway matinee, when Lindsey saw a couple walking closely together and froze in her tracks, pulling Tracy to a stop too.

'What's wrong?" Her friend asked her in puzzlement. She could only point as her mouth opened in amazement. Lindsey looked at the dark haired man and yeah he was hot, but still didn't understand what the big deal was. There were plenty of models wandering around New York City.

"He's hot."

"Not him. Her!" Her best friend squealed.

"Ohmygod!" Lindsey practically shouted as recognition hit. She grabbed her friend's hands and they were jumping up and down as they got closer to the couple.

Jude held Tommy's arm in a death grip, trying to stay as close as possible in the bracing wind. It was already Sunday and they had just gone out for brunch at this place Tommy had found when he moved here, that had thick baked French Toast that made Jude's mouth water. Suddenly they heard squeals behind them. It was a sound he knew well, the sound of the teenage fan girl and he braced himself for the inevitable.

"Excuse me! Aren't you....?" They turned, he in dread, she in curiosity as the two young girls pointed at them and jumped up and down.

"Look it's really cold out here and we're trying to get home, if you don't mind." The weather was uncustomarily cool for this time of year and the wind and drizzle harsh against their bodies. Tommy tried to let them down gently, through his almost chattering teeth. Sometimes trying to look cool wasn't worth the price, wishing he had on something a little warmer instead of his not so insulated leather jacket.

"Could we just get your autograph?" The little blond girl pleaded. "I never thought I'd meet a celebrity on my first trip to New York." Tommy was ready to shoot her down when she continued speaking. "Honestly Jude we are your biggest fans!"

"Really we love your music. And it's Tracy's birthday!" The brunette girl added. Tommy could only turn and look at Jude in shock. Jude tried hard not to smirk, but her sparkling eyes gave her away.

"I do have two platinum albums old man."

"I had more."

"Yeah, but at least mine are from this decade." He winced, because that had been a good jab. She had almost honed sarcasm down to an art form, almost as good as him at it. The two girls eagerly held out paper and a pen they had pulled out of their purses. Jude signed with a smile on her face.

"So do you two like 90's boy bands?"

"Eww...No way! We're into rock like you are." Tommy knew Jude was about to go into a fit of hysterics and took her arm as she handed the stuff back to the two girls.

"I thought you were dating Blake Collins?" Lindsey asked as her curious gaze took in the couple before them.

"Um...Actually you're the first to know. We broke up."

"Oh...Is he your new boyfriend? You look kind of familiar." Tracy asked grinning at Tommy, appreciating the way he looked in his worn leather jacket. Jude glanced over at Tommy and shook her head.

"We're old friends." The two girls eyed them skeptically, remembering how close together they had been while walking. Weren't celebrities always trying to hide new relationships? They took some pictures with their camera phones, including a few with Jude and Tommy, but even Jude, who always made time for her fans, had had enough.

"It was really nice to meet you. But it is really too cold to stand around." Jude waved as Tommy dragged her away. He waited for the inevitable laughter and sighed.

"You know if you admitted you sang Addicted that would have been you they recognized." Jude said between peals of laughter. She was the only person he ever let get away with making fun of him.

"Yeah and who would I say was my inspiration?"

"Maybe it's time." She said suddenly serious as their gazes locked. The changes in her were subtle to most people close to her, but he had been apart from her and they seemed more drastic to his discerning eye. She was still reckless and impulsive, her trip here proved that, but underneath it all she had found her core strength. She knew who she was and that made her comfortable in her own skin. He found that an amazing turn on as thoughts of her age seemed suddenly so very far away.

"We'll see." He finally said. Inside she was seething. He could be so...unsatisfying sometimes. But that was Tom Quincy in a nutshell, mysterious and enigmatic and damn him it just added to his sex appeal.

**

Jude was trying hard to stay upbeat, but the fact that this would be the last night they were together, for who knows how long, was ever present in both their minds. She wasn't completely okay yet with Patsy's death, but Tommy had helped her work out some things. She rested her head against his arm, but he slipped away from her and stood up, walking over to his entertainment center.

"What are you doing?" She asked as Tommy thumbed through his extensive CD collection. She wondered how he ever found anything, because nothing seemed to be in order. Stuart had rubbed off on her growing up and her own collection was the one neat thing in her room back home, alphabetized and grouped by genre.

"Got it." He finally said and took the CD out of its case to pop it into his sound system. She smiled as she listened to the distinctive stylings of Michael Buble. He had remembered their second night together. Tommy walked over to her and held his hand out. She took it and he drew her in close.

"I heard this the other day and thought of you." She closed hers eyes and buried her face against his neck. She absolutely loved his new shower gel and inhaled the intoxicating scent deeply. They swayed to the music with the city lights as a backdrop. He surprised her by spinning her out and pulling her back quickly, forcing a laugh to escape her lips. It had bothered him at first that Shay had been the one she had learned to dance with, but it was Tommy she loved. The words did comfort something deep inside of her as he had known they would.

_Can't believe it's over  
I watched the whole thing fall  
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall  
If I'd only knew  
The days were slipping past  
That the good things never last  
That you were cryin'_

Summer turned to winter  
And the snow, had turned to rain  
Then the rain turned into tears upon your face  
I hardly recognize the girl you are today  
And God I hope it's not too late  
It's not too late

She heard his voice in her ear as he whispered the next verse softly. Jude closed her eyes and simply listened.

_Cuz you are not alone  
I'm always there with you  
And we'll get lost together  
Til the light comes pouring through  
When you feel like you're done  
And the darkness has won  
Babe you're not lost_

When your world's crashing down  
And you can't bear the thought  
I said babe you're not lost

Life can show no mercy  
It can tear your soul apart  
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy  
But you're not  
Things have seemed to change  
There's one thing that's still the same  
In my heart you have remained  
And we can fly, fly, fly away

Cuz you are not alone  
And I am there with you  
And we'll get lost together  
Til the light comes pouring through  
Cuz when you feel like you're done  
And the darkness has won  
Babe you're not lost

And the world's crashing down  
And you cannot bear the cross  
I said baby you're not lost

Mmmm yeah yeah, yeah yeah,  
I said baby you're not lost.  
I said baby you're not lost.  
Oh yeah, yeah  
I said baby you're not lost.

She led him into the bedroom, their hands linked, after the song was over and he undressed her slowly before starting on his own clothes. She knelt on the bed watching him silently, enjoying the play of muscles as he pulled his shirt over his head. Instead of sitting in front of her, he dropped behind her causing her to turn her head to look at him quizzically. His lips found her bare shoulder and she shivered from the contact. He laid openmouthed kisses on her neck, sucking gently at the sensitive skin as his hands cupped her breasts. The rough pads of his thumbs rubbed at her pink nipples, causing them to harden at the contact. She rested her head back on his shoulder, giving him better access to her throat. One hand splayed across her chin and neck turning her head so that he could take her lips in a deep kiss. His other hand roamed down her breasts to the soft skin of her stomach and then lower. His middle finger slicked along her outer lips teasingly and then slipped inside of her damp heat. She gasped as he moved within her, adding another finger to the first, his thumb unerringly finding the cluster of nerves. His mouth continued to suck on her skin, his erection pressed to the curve of one cheek.

She lifted her hips and spread her legs farther apart as he moved between them, sliding his fingers out of her. She tasted her own arousal on his digits as he placed them against her mouth and she took them in, sucking, mimicking what she had done to other parts of him. It was his turn to shiver as his arousal found its way between her legs. His hand rested between her breasts, anchoring her in place as he positioned himself at her entrance and pressed in in one swift movement. She pushed back to meet him, taking all of his hardness into her body.

His other hand wandered down again, finding the bundle of nerves making her let out a cry as he thrust against her. She felt weak and lightheaded as he moved inside of her and his fingers stroked her boldly. The orgasm built to a crescendo and she felt herself falling into oblivion. He felt her quivering muscles clamp down on him and his strokes sped up, his hand still playing with her sensitive nub. Jude felt boneless and fell forward onto her elbows as he pounded against her, going deeper with each thrust. She didn't think she could take anymore manipulation of her flesh; it was almost too much, but his strangled groan brought on her own release once again. He pumped into her, until he felt completely drained and collapsed on top of her causing her knees to give out and them to wind up a tangled heap of limbs on the comforter.

They were both too exhausted to laugh, but she turned to face him with her heart in her eyes, shining bright. He brushed his lips against hers lightly, over and over and then moved to her cheek and then to her closed eyelids. Her eyes fluttered open to take in his gaze upon her in the dark room and he had the little boy smile that turned her heart upside down. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, wanting to hold him forever.

**

Tommy stood in the shower that morning after Jude had left, letting the warm spray wake him up. He had had to have her one last time, making her almost late to catch the cab to the airport. She had not wanted a sad goodbye scene at the airport or to get up earlier than necessary and they would have had to if he had brought her, since he had sessions scheduled early that morning. He grinned at the thought that she had left with his scent still marking her skin. When he reached for the spot where he kept his shower gel all he grasped was empty air. He looked down and saw the bottle had disappeared. He figured it was his fault for telling her how good it smelled on her skin, her own body chemistry altering it in the most enthralling way. He wondered what else she may have taken with her besides the obvious, his heart.

As he went to get dressed, he found out what else his little thief had also filched, the shirt he had worn last night. He gave himself a smile, liking the idea of his clothing hugging her body.

**

The stewardess was passing by when she saw the huge grin lighting Jude's face. He must have done it while she'd showered yesterday, she insisting on one alone since she had been starving for breakfast and had known sharing one wouldn't have been conducive to getting out of the apartment. His song had come on as soon as she had turned on her i-POD.

"I know that look. Boyfriend?" The stewardess smiled at the sparkle lighting her big blue eyes as Jude looked up at her.

"Not exactly. He wrote me a song though."

"Ooh any good?"

"Amazing."

"May I...?" Debbie gestured at her I-Pod. Jude handed her a ear bud and hit play. The woman's eyes widened at the professional quality song coming from the player. "Wow. I adore it." She said as she handed the bud back to Jude. "It sounds like it should be on the radio." Jude just smiled. She had no idea.

"I know." She said simply. The other woman left her alone again and she contemplated his gesture. He hadn't stopped loving her, that much was obvious. So what was really holding him back? It hadn't ever really been about age, that he had left, but her inexperience with life. But she had been through so much since then and she knew he had seen it. When she had shown him Sober she hadn't been sure he'd see the message she was sending him, but he did. She hit play again and closed her eyes letting the music wash over her. She had always wondered if he was happier in New York, but this showed that he was always thinking of her. You could always tell if a song was good by whether or not you could just fall into it and she plummeted into his voice and the music without conscious thought.

__

A thousand times I've seen you standing  
gravity like lunar landing  
You make me want to run till I find you  
I shut the world away from here,

drift to you, you're all I hear  
everything we know fades to black

half the time the world is ending,

truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I had any more to give  
pushing me so far

here I am without you  
drink to all that we have lost,

mistakes we have made  
everything will change,

but love remains the same

I find a place where we escape,

take you with me for a space  
a city bus that sounds just like a fridge  
I walk the streets through seven bars  
I had to find just where you are  
the faces seen to blur, they're all the same

half the time the world is ending,

truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I had any more to give  
pushing me so far,

here I am without you  
drink to all that we have lost,

mistakes we have made  
everything will change,

but love remains the same

so much more to say,

so much to be done  
don't you trick me out,

we shall overcome  
cause our love stays ablaze

we should have had the sun  
could have been inside  
instead we're over here

_half the time the world is ending, _

truth is I am done pretending  
too much time to love defending,

you and I are done pretending

I never thought that I had any more to give  
you're pushing me so far,

here I am without you  
drink to all that we have lost,

mistakes that we have made  
everything will change,

everything will change

I, oh, I  
I wish this could last forever

I, Oh, I  
as if we could last forever

love remains the same  
love remains the same

She looked out the window to the early morning sky, blue and beautiful and thought she preferred his eyes.

**

Kwest answered his phone absentmindedly as he looked over some lyrics, his hand tapping on the desk. He was more into the sound then the actual words and wished yet again that Brooke was better at doing her own.

"Hello."

"Kwest. It's Jude. Are you busy?

"Um...not really." He didn't have any studio time scheduled for that morning.

"Could you come get me at the airport?"

"Where have you been? Sadie's been calling your cell like crazy." Jude glanced down at her phone that she had turned off when she left and had just now turned back on. There were countless missed calls from Sadie, Ian, G-Major, Kwest, Spied, and even Blake. She hadn't been able to force herself to go through her voicemails yet, not wanting to hear how much trouble she was in. She frowned, wondering why Blake would call. Weren't they over?

"Kwest..." Jude said in a way that made him feel like an idiot for asking. He sighed and stood up, grabbing his car keys from the desk.

"I should be there in 20 if the traffic's good." Kwest took the alley exit to avoid going by reception and having to explain to Sadie where he was going, feeling a little guilty at keeping this from his girlfriend.

**

She stood on the curb waiting as a blue FJ Cruiser pulled up. She threw her bag in the back and got in. They exchanged greetings as she put her seatbelt on.

"Thanks." He pulled away from the curb as she rummaged through her pocket for her i-POD. He glanced at her curiously before returning his eyes to the road. "I want you to listen to something." She put it on his docking station and turned it on. They both listened quietly, she, for about the twentieth time and the impact was still there.

"Wow." Was all Kwest managed to say when it was over.

"Why won't he come back Kwest? Is it really because I'm only seventeen?" Kwest was pensive as he stared at the road in front of him. No one really knew what motivated Tom Quincy, but he suspected he had let her in more than most. He thought about the past back to another girl with light brown hair and a killer smile. His voice was abrupt in the silence, neither of them having turned the radio back on after the song had ended.

"Honestly? I think he's scared." Jude turned to look at him in confusion.

"Scared of what?"

"The last girl he really cared about, he hurt her really bad Jude. I don't think he ever forgets it."

"What happened Kwest?" She asked softly.

"I can't tell you that Jude. Only Tommy can."

He dropped her off at Tommy's apartment so she could retrieve her car. She had take a taxi from there when she had left, but didn't have enough cash for the way back which is why she'd called Kwest. She turned to him as she got out.

"Thanks Kwest. You're not gonna say anything to Sadie are you?" Jude asked before getting ready to shut the door.

"You think I have a death wish?" She gave him a small smile before turning to go. She had to rush to make her last classes of the day, exams were beginning in two and she really shouldn't have taken off, but she didn't care. She had needed it. She had needed him.

**

Jude knocked on the open door to Sadie's room before stepping in.

"Hey." Sadie looked up from the middle of her packing and shook her head.

"You are in so much trouble." Jude shrugged helplessly.

"I'm sorry I worried you." Sadie sighed and patted the bed, where Jude slowly ventured to sit.

"So where were you?" Jude had thought about what to say and she wasn't ready to admit to Sadie where she'd been. Especially now that her sister was starting a new life with Kwest.

"I just drove."

"All weekend?"

"Mostly. I stayed at a B&B and wrote some." Sadie started placing the stuffed animals that covered her bed in a cardboard box.

"Kwest is going to love that." Jude said teasingly, imagining all the toys surrounding him as he slept. Sadie gave a bark of laughter and they grinned at one another. "You love him don't you?" Sadie looked up in surprise.

"Of course I do." Jude envied her more now than she had in all the years growing up combined. Sadie was free to be with the man she loved, in the open with no one to judge her; a warm body to hold her at night and a hand to hold when things got rough. Jude understood then, her sister was not abandoning her, just living her life and living for love. Tears filled her eyes, but she willed them not to fall.

"Hey...." Sadie said concerned as she looked over at her sister. "Jude...hon...don't cry. I'll always be here for you little sis. You know that right?" Sadie took her into her arms. Jude nodded and hugged her tightly.

"Be happy Sadie. You deserve it."

"You probably don't believe it now, but you'll meet the right guy someday. And it'll feel completely different from anything you've ever felt before and be so amazing you forget to breathe sometimes." _I know_. The thought reverberated in the recesses of her brain. God did she know.

Jude let herself out of the house and saw him locking the front door of his house at the same time. He was headed to his car as she called his name. He turned back to glance at her with an indiscernible expression plastered on his face like a mask, before getting in and starting the motor. Jude sighed as she watched him speed off. It wasn't like the thought had never crossed her mind that her life would have been so much easier if she could have fallen for her former best friend. But for someone like Jude, she only fell once, hard and irrevocably. It had been inevitable since the moment he had said he liked her name.

Jude let herself into the apartment and prayed her father did not kill her. She had left before he got home from work, simply leaving a note saying she was staying at a friend's. Strictly speaking that was true. She dropped her bag by the couch and laid her guitar on top of it. She needed to be here, close to him, to write the song coursing through her veins and into her heart. The compulsion was like a heartbeat, a wild bird needing to be set free. He would have understood that need perfectly. She sat down and got out her notebook, preparing to leave him a message that hopefully someday he would hear. She had thought of the first two lines when she had woken to see him sleeping and she had been swamped with what she felt for him.

When Jude was done, she called him, not bothering to see how late it had gotten. He would be there to answer, she knew. And he did answer on the second ring, his voice soft and gentle just for her.

"Does this mean you're coming out of retirement Quincy?" She asked about his beautiful song, so poignant, but still not weak and sappy like a lot of love songs were.

"No...I just had something to say to someone I cared about."

"So who is this fantastic, amazing, beautiful creature that managed to inspire Tommy Q to sing again?" Jude teased and could hear his short laugh through the phone line. The melody continued to play in her head, haunting and speaking to her heart as his voice did.

_Take time to realize_

_That your warmth is crashing down... on me_

_Take time to realize_

_That I am on your side_

_Didn't I, didn't I...tell you_

_But I can't spell it out for you_

_No it's never gonna to be that simple_

_No I can't spell it out for you_

_If you just realize what I just realized_

_That we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never find another_

_Just realize what I just realized_

_We never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now_

_Take time to realize_

_Oh ooh I'm on your side_

_Didn't I, didn't I tell you_

_Take time to realize_

_Oh oh I'm on your side oh ooh oh ooh oh ooh_

_But I can't spell it out for you_

_It's never gonna be that simple_

_No I can't spell it out for you_

_If you just realized what I just realized_

_That we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never find another_

_Just realize what I just realized_

_We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other but..._

_It's not the same_

_No it's never the same_

_If you don't feel it too_

_If you meet me half way_

_If you would meet me half way_

_It could be the same for you_

_If you just realize what I just realized_

_That we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another_

_Just realize what I just realized_

_We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other_

_Just realize what I just realized_

_That we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another_

_Just realize what I just realized_

_We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now_

_Missed out on each other now_

_Missed out on each other now_

_We missed on each other now_

_Realize, realize, realize_

She climbed under the sheets as he talked to her. Although she always showed her most important music to him, this was one song that wasn't ready to be shared yet, if ever. Because she couldn't be the one to tell him they were worth it, worth everything. He had to come back because he understood, not because she told him to. 


	28. Chapter 26

**apryl:**_thanks for the review and explaining why some of you may not review. I would have Pm'd an answer to your question, but you didn't log in so I couldn't respond. DLS stands for Dirty Little Secret and is a message board style forum that was originally started for IS fans but has since expanded. There are alot of FF's on there that did not necesarily make it to this site. If you do a search with dirty little secret and instant star you should be able to get the address._

Anyway everyone else here's the next chapter. ENJOY and review if you want a new chapter.

**Chapter 26**

She spotted his head of golden hair through the window and made her way inside, hoping that this would be quick. She still had finals to study for and Jude had never been the most prepared student. Maybe it had been a bad idea to reply to his voicemail, but she was never the type to play games.

"So what's going on?" Jude asked as she sat down across from him, not wanting to send the wrong message by taking a chair next to him.

"Hi to you too."

"Sorry...Hi Blake. What do you want?" The waitress came up and Jude ordered a mocha latte, extra whip. Blake grimaced. So he kind of deserved her less than friendly tone.

"Look...Jude." He reached for her hand on the table, but she pulled it away before he could touch her. She waited expectantly for him to talk, half hating herself for agreeing to meet him. Her curiosity was going to get her in trouble one of these days. "I want to apologize for being insensitive about your friend's death. I just had a lot going on with my movie and I took it out on you. I'm sorry." Jude nodded, but didn't say anything. "You're different from any girl I've ever met and I don't want to lose you from my life. Can you give us another shot?" His eyes were earnest, but she did not forget that he was an actor.

"Blake...I..." He stopped her from shooting him down, seeing she wasn't eager to say yes. He studied her eyes, so expressive, lending credence to the phrase of them being 'windows to the soul'.

"Can we try to be friends at least, for now?" Jude looked into his leaf green orbs, thinking she saw genuine sincerity in his gaze.

"I don't know..." Her life felt so complicated right now, did she really need to stay in touch with an ex?

"Please." The waitress brought Jude her coffee and she thanked her before turning back to him. It wasn't like he was really asking for much and who knew? Maybe this was an easier way to let go. Sure they would try to see each other in the beginning, but then they could drift away from one another, meet other people, without hard feelings.

"I guess so."

"That's great." He said enthusiastically shooting her his perfect white capped teeth smile. She sipped her hot beverage and wondered what she had gotten herself into. "So where were you this weekend? I called your cell, your house, even G-Major. Sadie said you were out of town." Would it look suspicious if she did not answer him?

"I went to New York to see an old friend." She said truthfully. It wasn't like he would make any connections, not having as many facts as her friends did.

"Really? Who is she?"

"No one you know. He left town before we met." She had left town to visit a guy?! Blake stared at her, trying to figure out what this old friend really meant to her.

"What's his name?" Jude frowned at him and tried to divert his queries.

"What's with the twenty questions Blake? We're not together anymore, remember?" He had to bite his tongue to keep the nasty retort from spewing from his lips. No one dumped Blake Collins. The relationship did not end until he was tired of it and he was not bored with Jude Harrison by a long shot. But he knew when to give her some space.

"I was just curious. Touchy much?"

"You're right. I've just had a long week." He nodded sympathetically. She drank more of her coffee, her eyes falling to the tea he held. She should have known they weren't right together the minute he admitted he hated coffee. But it did not matter now since they were only friends. "So how long are you in town for?" She asked without real interest, her mind more tired than her body let on.

****

**

It was the time for reckoning as Jude braced herself with her hand on the doorknob. This would be the first time she saw her Dad since she had taken off. He was predictably waiting for her when she entered the house. She placed her bag down and put her hands in her pockets waiting for him to speak.

"You and me in the living room right now." He said sternly and she nodded before they settled themselves in the other room.

"Where did you go this weekend Jude?" Stuart asked her, congratulating himself on the evenness of his tone.

"Dad I just had to get away. I went to see an old friend."

"A boy? Blake?"

"No...not exactly. Not Blake. We broke up. It was a different man." She admitted as her scared eyes looked into his. It did not escape Stuart that she had said man and not boy. She remembered the conversation she had had with Blake that afternoon and wondered why she had agreed to being friends again.

"Do you know what you're doing Jude?" Did Jude know what she was doing? Half the time she didn't know if she was coming or going. She still felt like a normal girl, but that the events around her were extraordinary. She had never seen herself as others saw her, a rock star, celebrity, famous and privileged. She could not know that was one of the reasons her friends loved her.

"No...But I'm trying Dad." He studied the blue eyes that were so like his own and wondered at the adult staring out of them.

"Who is he?"

"I can't tell you that. I would if I could. Besides we're not together or anything." She prayed he would not try to force her to reveal anything, but of course that had never been his way. Her mother had been controlling enough for the both of them. Her dad was the laidback one.

"But you care about him?" Jude nodded. He studied her some more. "You look better. I know your life has been crazy Jude. And Patsy..."

"I'm okay Dad. At least I will be. I really don't want to talk about Patsy though. But I really did have to get away." Her father studied her face and nodded. He stood and held his hand out to her, lifting her to her feet and engulfing her in a hug. There was nothing quite like the comfort of a parent, not even the man you loved.

****

**

Jude sat at the dressing table reading her French textbook and chewing on a piece of red licorice in between sips of coffee. She was in Portia's haven, unable to leave because the older woman did not trust her not to disappear before she had gotten all her wardrobe ready, so Jude studied for her finals and Portia sewed. Jude had been surprised that Portia had been surprisingly mellow about her disappearance and didn't know if she would have been nearly as nice if their positions were reversed. Portia had accepted the story of Jude needing a little time to herself. Portia was in a corner making alterations to one of her outfits and looked up at the young singer.

"Now that's a combination I haven't seen in a while." She commented as Jude looked up from her work. Jude glanced down at the red candy in her hand and shrugged.

"I just had a craving."

"My ex used to have bags of that stuff all over the apartment." And he still did. Jude replied in her mind. "So have you heard from Tommy since he left?" Portia asked nonchalantly even though this was the opening she had been waiting for.

"Uh...Once in a while." Right...Portia didn't believe that for a second. They were both silent again at their respective work when Jude looked up, nibbling at her bottom lip.

"Portia?"

"Hmm..?"

"What was Tommy like back in the Boyz Attack days?" She stopped what she was doing, grinning and shook her head.

"He was cocky, thought he was God's gift, but really charming. He could make you feel like you were the only one in the room. He was a lot of fun. He just wasn't the settling type." Jude wanted to ask more, but didn't want to make the other woman suspicious. She had never had the guts to ask Tommy about his marriage. She hated that Portia's words made her question, even for the barest instant, whether or not Tommy could be faithful. She trusted him, always had and if the time was right for them she believed with all her heart he would remain true to any promises he made.

"Kinda like he is now?" They both shared a laugh.

"Actually I haven't seen him since that pool party Darius threw. We didn't end on the best terms."

"Oh..." Jude felt uncomfortable. "I'm sorry..."

"Don't be. It was a long time ago." Portia scoffed.

"He must have seduced girls left and right, telling them the song he wrote was just for them." Jude mused, imagining a Tommy that she could possibly not have liked.

"Huh... That's funny you say that. I never knew he wrote until he quit Boyz Attack and went solo. We were long over by then. I think Kwest was the only one he showed his music to." Jude looked up in surprise. She had assumed he had once been more open with his music until Darius had locked his solo attempt, Frozen, up. She wanted to protest, saying he had written two songs for her, that she knew of anyway. It was a slow realization that he only opened himself up to her in this way. Why her? Why had Tommy let her in when it seemed like no other woman had ever had that privilege, not even his wife.

"Come here." Portia commanded and Jude sighed as she got up. She held a long sleeve gauzy shirt up to Jude, measuring it against her body. "Put that on." Jude removed her shirt and saw that Portia was staring at her abdomen. "Do you have allergies?" The sensitive skin of her belly and between her breasts was red and irritated looking. Jude knew what it was from, but grabbed at Portia's explanation.

"Uh yeah... I tried a new body cream." Jude said a little too quickly. She couldn't exactly say that it was stubble rash from Portia's ex-husband who had woken up extra friendly yesterday morning. She was glad her pants were staying on for now, because she had noticed the love bite on her inner thigh too. Why did he insist on marking her and how long would the freaking stubble rash last?!

"You should probably take another shower and wash it off before it gets any worse." Portia said with mild concern. Jude nodded as Portia handed her the shirt to put on.

"I'll do that when I get home." Portia leaned in to tug on the fabric. She noticed the scent on the girl's skin and remarked on it, since it was rather masculine and not flowery in the least.

"Oh...um this friend of mine had this shower gel I really liked, so I took it when he wasn't looking. I think it's Armani Code." Portia absorbed the information absentmindedly as she scanned her handiwork.

"Your friend has expensive tastes. Is it Blake Collins? He's cute." She said teasingly.

"No...We broke up..."

"And you already have another man lined up girl? When do you have time?"

"It's not like that..." Jude said, heat coming to her cheeks. "I just can't seem to make many girl friends." She admitted, a little twinge of sadness going through her at the thought of Patsy. She and Kat seemed to be drifting further apart, without much in common these days.

"Hon...You're beautiful and famous and there's always a hot guy after you. Most girls are gonna be jealous and feel threatened by you." Jude sighed.

"I'm not like that Portia."

"And that's why you have a ton of guy friends." And with the exception of Jamie, they had all been awesome, but Jude understood Jamie was hurting, at least she tried to understand although he made it hard. Portia had noticed all the boys hanging around Jude and even Ian and JP. She wondered at how Ian had wound up representing Jude, but that was her brother's area and not her concern.

**

Jude knocked lightly on the open mahogany paneled door, peeking her head in a little hesitantly. He had sounded pretty angry on the three voicemails he had left this weekend. The man on the other side of the desk lifted his head slowly to see his visitor.

"Hi..." She said with an apprehensive expression on her face. "Elys said I could come right in." Ian at her with a somber expression on his face, simply staring at her, making her want to squirm. "I was thinking I could take my favorite manager out to lunch?" She said cajolingly, hoping for some kind of reaction from him as she walked further into the room.

"Does it matter where you were?" Jude shook her head. It wouldn't be relevant to him, only the fact that she had missed an interview he had scheduled should have been. But this was Ian and he deserved a better explanation.

"To me it does...I was in New York..." _Tommy_. He could see it in her eyes that she was not nearly as destroyed as she had been just days earlier. He had been worried about her as a friend, not just a client, seeing the devastation that had been plain in her face. He sighed and shook his head at her. "I know I was totally unprofessional and it will never happen again. You don't have to lecture me." She blurted out before he could start yelling.

"Jude I'm not your father. To me you've always been an adult." In fact she had been more professional, until this weekend, than some of his other clients who had years on her. "But next time talk to me before you just run off." Jude nodded jerkily.

"I needed him Ian." And he had been there for her. That spoke volumes as to how much Tommy Quincy had changed since they had last met. Ian would love to see the connection they shared, in person, one day and wondered if he could make it happen. "So...I have this idea and I need your help."

"Come on. We'll talk about it over lunch then." They left the office together and headed to a small café down the street from his building.

Darius actually wondered if this was one of his least favorite things, having Jude and her manager sitting on the other side of his desk wanting something. He hated that Ian was not intimidated by him, even though he always tried to project an amicable air around the other man. Jude explained what she want to do and Darius frowned at her.

"Jude your tour's in less than a week. How about we talk about it when you get back?" He said placatingly, and she could tell he wasn't really into her idea. Jude shook her head stubbornly. She didn't want to wait; she wanted to do it now while Patsy's death was still fresh on everyone's mind. She looked over at Ian who nodded slightly to her for encouragement.

"D the publicity would be great for my tour and for G-Major." He looked at her expectantly, his attention now roused.

"Besides it's a great song." Ian added. Darius steepled his fingers as he contemplated their suggestion.

"How do you plan on pulling this off Jude? You have to leave in 5 days."

"And if I can D? Just give me the studio time and I'll have it ready to be sent out for mastering before I leave." Her eyes were now shining with excitement.

"I want to hear it first to make sure it's as good as you say and if...And that's a big if, you get it done I'll do it."

"We want five percent of the profits to go to the Toronto area teen halfway house." Ian said doing the job Jude had asked him to come here for.

"Two percent." D countered.

"Three percent." Ian said in a firm voice.

"It's for a good cause D." Jude added, appealing to the vain part of him that liked being seen as philanthropic. He finally nodded his affirmation and wondered if she could really pull it off. Of course he had no idea that Jude had Tommy's promise to produce it for her. Jude shot Ian a smile that he returned, knowing this was important to her.

**

Jude glared at Spied with her hands on her hips as he put his shirt on. Five minutes ago she had walked in to him, about to do Karma on the floor of the rehearsal space. Three minutes ago, after Karma had straightened her clothes he had asked her to wait outside. Now Jude stared at him in disbelief. It wasn't jealousy, just a sense of betrayal that her friend would side with that bitch over her.

"Were you cheating on Donna with Karma? Is that why you broke up?!" He looked up at her in amazement. "I thought you were one of the good guys Vin." She said regretfully.

"You hypocrite!"

"What?!"

"You've never been emotionally available to any guy you've dated."

"That's not the same as cheating!" she defended herself, not denying he was right because of course it was true. She knew that when it came down to it her heart was already spoken for.

"Oh yeah....Care to tell me what _really _happened on your birthday?" Her face blanched of all color as she stared at him. "I saw his car leaving that night Jude." She had known he had taken the Porsche that night, but only because when she had taken it for a drive afterwards the seat had been moved.

"You knew? But you didn't say anything..."

"I suspected. You confirmed everything when you disappeared this weekend."

"Spied...I..."

"Don't...We were over a long time ago. That's not why I said it."

"Then what?" She asked softly, so afraid she would lose him too.

"You can't help who makes you happy Jude." Their eyes met and she nodded. "And you weren't trying to hurt anyone. Old Jude would have clung to Jamie like a lifeline, but you didn't. Maybe someday he can appreciate that." Jude flinched. It was still a sore subject for her, Jamie's anger.

"When did you get so grown up Vincent Spiederman?" He let out a growl and had her in a headlock before she could blink, giving her a big noogie. "What was that about being grown up!"

"Okay! Okay you immature shit!"

"What's my name?!"

"Spied!" He let her go and she immediately tackled him onto the couch, tickling him mercilessly.

"Spiedy!" The voice behind them whined. "It's cold in the hallway." They turned and saw the scowl on the girl's face. Jude shook her head as she started to get off of him.

"Sometimes I just don't know about your taste Spiederman." She murmured none too softly, causing Karma to frown even harder.

"Me? Lord Squinty?" He shivered in mock disgust and they grinned at one another.

"We'll stay out of each other's love lives?" Jude put her hand out which he took.

"Deal." And they shook on it. "Hey bro's before hoes." He whispered into her ear before he started towards Karma.

"Hey are you calling me a guy?!" She yelled after him.

"Duh Harrison. I saw those pictures in Vanity Fair. I know you're not a guy." He grinned lasciviously at her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to throw something at him or laugh, but by then the moment had passed. She watched him sling an arm around the other girl's shoulders and shook her head. Karma. Ugh...Who woulda thunk it.

**

"You should have a courier there by the end of the day." Tommy said, sniffing the shirt he had been wearing since yesterday morning. He collapsed onto his office couch and just wanted to close his eyes and sleep for ten hours straight. He held the phone to his ear, letting her familiar voice lull him.

"Tommy thank you for this." There was so much heartfelt emotion in her voice, he had to smile through his weariness. Always before when he had pulled an all-nighter she had been there, their energies feeding off one another.

"Anytime girl. You know that. Just have a great time on tour."

"I will." Now that she had gotten her wish, she could go with a light heart.

Ian made his way into G-Major one afternoon while Jude was still away, using one of his other singer's as an excuse. He invited Darius out to lunch to discuss a possible deal, but with a different agenda in his mind. They headed for an elegant French restaurant and Ian strategized how he would set about accomplishing his goal.

**

Jude was three weeks into her North American West coast tour, since she had done the east coast with Shay last year, when her phone rang one night after her concert. She answered it eagerly as her band-mates yelled at her to hang up and join them. He could hear laughter and splashing in the background as she said his name softly. In the beginning she had tried to speak to him virtually every day, but with dead zones and the constant movement, the calls grew fewer in between, as it should have been. She was supposed to be enjoying the experience and not worrying about him, he knew that, but found he still missed hearing her voice. After she had left New York, it had been harder for him to put her to the back of his mind. She intruded into his thoughts almost constantly these days.

"So how's it going?" He asked, hearing the other's call her name impatiently.

"It's great! But I miss you." She tried to tamp down her enthusiasm, but failed miserably.

"I miss you..." Another voice came on the line as he heard Jude shriek. "Jude?"

"Jude can't come to the phone right now." Kyle said and Tommy heard the loud splash and then Jude's voice yelling at the boys to do anatomically impossible things to themselves. Next he heard the dial tone and sighed. The last time he had spoken to her she had fallen asleep in the middle of their conversation, make that more like at the beginning of it. Was she finally moving on? He couldn't help but wonder even though he did not really believe it. She did call him back late that night, but he could hear the tiredness in her voice, though she tried to hide her yawns. He let her go and she promised to call the next chance she got. He wasn't going to hold his breath knowing first hand how crazy touring could get and how easily promises forgotten.

**

Tommy was at work when on of the interns popped her head into the studio he was in to tell him he had a call on line three. He nodded his thanks, barely noticing the wicked little smile she flashed him with. Her swaying hips did not even warrant a glance as his hand reached for the studio phone.

"This is Tommy."

"Oh hey...This is a surprise. It's been a longtime."

"I'm good. How about you?"

"Yeah..."

"So what can I do for you?" He listened with astonishment waiting for the person to finish.

"I need to think about it. Thanks for the offer." Excitement raced through his brain at the possibilities that that call had provided. All this time he had felt like he had been in stasis no matter how much he was accomplishing musically with his artists here. And now a new opportunity was available to him. The euphoria dimmed as reality set in. Would this be the best move for him? And the unanswered questions filtered into his brain once again. If he did this the decision would affect not only him and he wondered if it was selfish for him to want this so much. Or was it selfish to not take the chance offered to him?

**

He let himself into the apartment, careful to close the door softly behind him, not because of the owner who he was relatively sure was at work, but not wanting to alert any of the neighbors to his presence. He knew the owner of the place would be at Wendell records as he was everyday, having followed him for the past few days to get his routine down. He was not ready to let the other man know he was out of jail quite yet, at least not until he found the information he was seeking. He took in the expensively decorated apartment, a stark contrast to the ten by twelve cell he had shared for the last five years. Of all the things that had been taken from him, there was only one that was on his mind and that thing was the reason he was here. He made his way around the room, looking for photos or correspondence, but coming up empty except for some bills and junk mail in a box. The whole place was surprisingly empty of any clutter that defined a home, not even a takeout menu tacked to the fridge.

In the large bedroom there were a few pieces of matching luggage against the closet door and he wondered if Quincy was taking a trip. A magazine left out on top of a travel bag caught his eye and he moved to it. He read the handwritten autograph on the cover, admiring the picture of the pretty girl. It looked like another Quincy conquest and he did not think much of it, until he picked it up to get a closer view and papers slid out from between the pages. Here was what he was looking for. So she wasn't just a conquest after all.

He grinned to himself as he looked at the photos that had been tucked between the magazine. The first one was of the girl as a redhead sitting close to Tommy in a studio scene, her torn jean clad legs on his lap. The second was clearly of them in Times Square, she a blond this time. She was facing the camera and he was in profile, his head bent close as if he was about to kiss her neck. The third photograph was obviously taken by one of them with an arm outstretched, their heads were bent close and they were both smiling brightly and there was something in Quincy's eyes that confirmed that this female was not just another one night stand. He put the pictures down and flipped to the article of Jude Harrison. As he browsed the interview he found the information he needed. G-Major Records, Toronto. Well wasn't that convenient? It looked like he would be headed back to Canada, which was probably a good thing since he was violating parole by leaving the country, not that he cared except that he did not want to be arrested before he finished what he set out to do. He quietly slipped out of the apartment, leaving everything as he had found it. He had gotten what he came for and knew what his next step would be.

**

Jude and SME came back at the end of the summer from a successful tour and new hit single. Darius wanted to get her into the studio as soon as possible to start working on her next album, wanting to ride on the success she was currently experiencing. At first when he had heard about her and shot down her cover for Solid magazine, he had had serious doubts about whether or not she could make it in this business. Now she had proven him completely wrong and he could not be happier. To Darius Mills Jude was his ideal artist, platinum selling and still young enough to be malleable.

Tommy did not even get a hello out before she was speaking.

"Hey did you get my invitation?" She asked brightly, so excited at seeing him again. He frowned knowing this would hurt her, but he would make up for it in the long run.

"Yeah...um Jude..." She interrupted him.

"So when can you get here? Can you get a couple of days off?" Her voice was full of energy and barely concealed anticipation. It wasn't everyday you got to turn eighteen or spend it with the man of your dreams.

"Jude.... I don't think I can make it..." He sounded distracted as he listened to her.

"What?" She sat down heavily on her bed, suddenly deflated. It was such a little thing in the grand scheme of things, but she was so disappointed. It had felt like forever since she had seen him last. And she thought he had missed her just as much.

"I'm sorry baby. I can't get away. Drew's second album is almost wrapped up and there's all this PR they want me there for." His apologetic voice did not sooth her one bit.

"But...you've never missed my birthday." She said feeling helpless, wanting to whine or even cry in frustration. Okay what she really wanted to do was scream.

"You won't even miss me girl. All your friends are gonna be there for you. I'll make it up to you I promise." That was a stupid thing for him to say. She always missed him and no one else could replace him.

"Okay...I understand." She said although her heart clearly didn't.

**

Jude had gotten excited about her birthday bash again and was practicing her dancing in her new 3 inch heels at G-Major when she started to slip. Expecting to hit the floor hard, she was surprised when she felt a pair of strong arms holding her up. When she regained her footing he let go and she turned to smile at the handsome brown haired, brown eyed twenty something stranger standing there.

"Hi...You always come out of nowhere like that?"

"Sometimes."

"So what brings you to G-Major?" He took in her appearance trying not to be obvious about it. It had been easier than he expected to find her. Apparently luck was finally on his side. She was young, the article had said she was just seventeen. Hunter never figured Quincy for one of those guys who liked them young, but then again...she looked all grown up to him. He shook himself mentally, he had been too long without female companionship. This was about something much more important than satisfying his hungers.

"I just got back to town. I'm looking for an old friend. Tommy Quincy?" Jude wrinkled her brow a little.

"He hasn't worked here in over a year." He pretended disappointment. Of course he knew where Tommy had gone. This was an easy way to get her to lower her guard though, pretending to be an old friend of her lover.

"Aww that's too bad. I was hoping to get in touch."

"So how do you know Tommy?"

"Oh we used to tour together back in the day."

"Are you a musician?" He laughed self-deprecatingly.

"Me? No...Strictly backstage stuff." She nodded. "Anyway you know how I can reach him?"

"He works for Wendell Records in New York now. I'm sure if you call there they can help you out."

"Thanks." He smiled that warm smile he had perfected, even though underneath he was empty. Hadn't he heard once that revenge was a dish better served cold? Well he had plenty of years to hone his rage into blinding icy hatred.

"I'm Jude by the way." She held out her slim hand and he took it in his larger callused one.

"I'm Hunter." After a little more flirting Jude said she had to go see her friend Kwest, so he worked here too and he watched her walk away. As he headed for the front door again he ran into another figure from the past.

"Portia." Her brown eyes looked stunned as she blinked to make sure he was really there.

"Hunter? What are you doing here?" He smirked playfully as he took in the perfectly dressed ex-wife of his enemy.

"You're looking good Portia. I just came to check out Quincy's girl." Portia frowned at him.

"You know we got divorced a longtime ago." She asked in confusion.

"Oh I wasn't talking about you Portia. Anyway I should go. It was nice seeing you." He waved airily as he turned to head out. She watched his retreating figure with slight apprehension, wondering what he was trying to pull. Tommy wasn't even in Toronto anymore. What was the real reason Hunter was back in town?


	29. Chapter 27

_Thank you to all my lovely reviewers who took the time to review. ENJOY! This one is a bit long so be warned._

**Chapter 27**

Tommy was somewhat rash when it came to decision-making. Once he chose a course he stuck with it, even if he later realized it might not be the best thing to do, so it surprised and it shouldn't have, today of all days that he was second-guessing himself. It came back to him on this anniversary that he hurt people and he had never known how not to.

If he did this nothing would ever be the same and he had no illusions that everything would definitely work out for the best. The fact that he questioned whether or not he was being selfish should have told him that he had become someone else, but Tommy Quincy had never been good at seeing himself clearly. He looked around the modern apartment one last time, guilt heavy in his heart and picked up his bag, turning off the lights and heading out without a backward glance. This place had never been a home, just a way station back to where he belonged.

**

Jamie sat in a dinghy storage space looking miserably at the legendary old eccentric rocker who he was charged with signing for G-Major. It was Jude's birthday and he had never missed one before. He felt extreme guilt for the way he had been treating her and Paegan noticed it and commented. He found himself spilling out his troubles to the man and felt a tiny bit better. Paegan insisted Jamie write what he felt to Jude and they started with Jamie feeling foolish as he scribbled his inadequate words onto the page. He was no songwriter or poet; that had been made clear years ago when Jude had let Tommy change the song they had written together. He was just a guy that loved music and he had to admit he had been jealous of Jude for living her dreams in the music world.

**

Sadie came up and bumped her sister who had just left one of Darius's business colleagues to find her friends.

"So how does it feel to finally be the big one eight?" She smiled at Jude who grinned back, looking beautiful and not just a little bit sexy in her red silk gown and swept back hair, chandelier earrings brushing against her slim neck, the pendant she never took off dangling enticingly, drawing eyes to her strapless sweetheart bodice. Since when had her sister become so daring and unselfconscious to wear sexy clinging red, not the more muted sophisticated color of burgundy, but bright in your face fire engine red, drawing attention her way? Sadie had always been the clothes horse in the family, not that Jude wasn't wearing her clothing exceptionally well. If she had been a guy and not related she would have been on Jude like a rash. Sadie stopped for a moment. It wasn't a set date that determined a person was truly grown up, but for the first time she saw the woman Jude was.

"Anticlimactic." Sadie nodded in understanding. Sometimes the anticipation was almost better than the actual event or thing you were waiting for. "Have you seen Spied?" Jude asked as they their gazes both swept over the crowded ballroom.

"You are the only girl I know that still hangs out with all her ex's." Sadie stated in disbelief. "Spied. Blake. Even Shay showed up." They found Shay easily enough. He was hard to miss surrounded by a bevy of groupies, holding court in one corner, looking good dressed as a 30's gangster. They weren't the one's Jude thought of when Sadie said ex though. There was one missing, the most important one, the one who would have made this night perfect. Stuart joined his daughters moments later and hugged his youngest daughter tight as Sadie went off to find Kwest.

"I'm so proud of you Jude."

"I didn't make my birthday happen dad." She said in amusement at the moisture in his eyes.

"You're a beautiful, successful woman who is living her dreams on her own terms. You amaze me Jude Harrison." Now there were tears in her eyes as she looked into the blue eyes so like her own.

"Dad...Don't make me cry. You're going to ruin my makeup." He smiled at her and she returned it.

"So did you get everything you wanted?" He asked while looking around, amazed at the celebrity turnout that had come to celebrate with his daughter.

"Nobody gets everything they want Dad." She said lightly, but a thread of gravity in her tone, drew his eyes back to her.

"You should. You deserve everything. And I'm not saying that just because you're my baby." Jude laughed at her father being so sentimental tonight. "I'm going to head out. Enjoy yourself." He said like a proclamation, kissing her head before wending his way towards the ballroom entrance. Jude was soon joined by Wally, Kyle and their dates. She asked where Spied was, but none of them had seen him yet even though it was getting a little late.

**

Jamie parked in the hotel garage and reached for the small bag on the seat beside him containing Paegan's own guitar strap. He owed the old guy one and excitedly went towards the entrance. He knew he was late and hoped that he and Jude would have a chance to talk alone. Paegan had made him realize that he was still in love with Jude and that was one of the reasons he had taken out his anger and anguish over Patsy's death on her. She had to forgive him. She was still his best friend.

**

Jude stood alone for the first time that night, a member of the crowd, yet apart. She had already performed and received the plaque from Darius for her album going double platinum. And now she was taking a breather having spent all day getting ready, letting Portia pluck and exfoliate and poke her with needles and then mingling with all the business associates and music people who had wanted to wish her a happy birthday.

A familiar melody came on, although beautiful seemed bittersweet to her. She closed her eyes trying to block the memories from overwhelming her. It had been more than two years ago and yet not long enough. Who knew that one dance and one night could be so monumental in a person's life?

__

Another summer day

Has come and gone away

In Paris or Rome

But I wanna go home

Although Michael Buble's crooning fit the dirty thirties theme of her party well, it was hell on her heart. She should have remembered to ask the deejay not to play him tonight, if only for her piece of mind. Shouldn't she have what she wanted on her birthday? Jude had not heard much from Tommy after the call asking when he would be there for her birthday and wondered if he had finally started to move on. She had seen somewhere once that New York had more single women than men, so Tommy certainly had his pick. She didn't really believe that though, but when a person is left alone, the nights make it easy to doubt. She let herself indulge in a little wistfulness, just until the song was over she promised herself. There were literally hundreds of people here to celebrate her birthday with her at this amazing party Darius had thrown. She wasn't going to let self-pity rule her tonight.

"Can I have this dance?" She almost thought she imagined the voice, but then her eyes flew open and she looked up at his face in utter shock. He took her in his arms, and she couldn't do more than let him. She could smell his cologne and the scent made her dizzy. How much had she missed just the smell of him?

Tommy had been waiting for the right moment to go to her, keeping out of the way unobtrusively, which was so unlike his nature. He wanted her to enjoy her party before he came barging in. Nothing deterred him from his course tonight, except earlier running into her father in the lobby. The encounter had left him a little off kilter even now, as he gazed down at the lovely girl in front of him.

.

__

"Tommy?" The older man said in mild surprise as he looked at the man he had not seen in nearly two years. Tommy cleared his throat uncomfortably as he tried to appear at ease. He held his hand out for Stuart and greeted him calmly.

"Stuart. It's good to see you again." Tommy could feel the beads of sweat forming underneath his skin, waiting for the perfect opportunity to fall and make his girl's father question his presence. Even Tommy was not immune to the unease of having impure thoughts of a girl and then running into her father. But Stuart merely nodded at him with a look that was a little too penetrating.

"She'll be happy to see you." Stuart said as he walked by and clapped him lightly on the shoulder, before heading for the front entrance. "Goodnight Tommy."

"Goodnight." Tommy murmured, thrown off his game for a moment. What exactly did Stuart Harrison know? And if he knew, why was he letting Tommy go after Jude without a word?

"What are you doing here?" She uttered. He had said he definitely couldn't make it, hadn't he?

"Did you really think I'd miss your birthday?" She turned her eyes away from his, because that was what she had thought. There had been no present or even a card this year, even though she had seen him not that long ago. There had always been a deep-rooted fear that with the distance between them, he would simply forget her and move on. It's not like he didn't meet new women everywhere he went.

"I thought you were busy." She said playing it cool although her heart was racing. He was here. Her Tommy was here.

"Never too busy for you." They were both lost for a moment, in the eyes of the other. "You shouldn't wear red." He blurted out, uncharacteristically blunt.

"Why not? I thought I looked okay." She said in hurt confusion. She had picked this vintage Valentino herself, surprising even Portia with her boldness and good taste. And many people had complimented her on the way she looked tonight. Why didn't Tommy like it? She had chosen it with him in mind.

"Too good." He murmured into her hair, taking in the delicate perfume she was wearing. "Every guy in this place has been eyeing you." She giggled and wanted to literally swoon as he pulled her in closer. She drew back and examined his face, wanting to memorize every detail of this night and of him.

"You look tired." Her thumb traced the dark circles under his eyes.

"I couldn't sleep after you left New York." He admitted, unashamedly knowing she would be the one person who would understand.

"Looks like you did it." JP commented said as he handed Ian his whiskey and they turned to stare at the couple across the dance floor. Ian had seen Tommy come in one of the side entrances earlier, but decided not to greet him, knowing what he had been there for. Ian smiled slightly at his partner and took his hand. Tommy and Jude were lost to the bustle around them, inhabiting a world only meant for two. Ian could practically see the sparks dancing between them as they swayed to the music. They danced so close he could see the silk material of her red dress was plastered to her body. Who knew that that slip of a girl could turn the infamous womanizer Tommy Q soft with a single glance. "You really think they're a good idea?" JP asked, knowing full well what Tommy was usually like with his women, not that they usually progressed that far as to be labeled 'his'. JP and Ian had both been present when the Portia and Angie love triangle had happened. It had left all the participants broken in different ways and it was hard to say whether the enigmatic Tommy had ever recovered from that time. JP had come to know Jude too through Ian and admired her genuine commitment to music, but he trusted his partner's instincts.

"They had to have the chance." Ian answered him. _Happy birthday Jude_. He gave a salute with his glass to the couple. "Dance with me." He took the glass out of JP's hand and lowered both of them to a nearby table before pulling him onto the dance floor. It did not escape their notice when the two surreptitiously slipped from the room in the crush of party guests. It must have been fate that Tommy had not been recognized and approached in the small amount of time he was there.

"Who is that?" Blake asked Kyle, who looked over in surprise. He had lost track of Jude earlier when he had spotted a film director he was interested in working with; it never hurt to keep him in their minds after all. She and a dark haired man were slow dancing close, very close, in fact it didn't look like a Post It note could be wedged between them. She had one hand resting on his upper arm and the other cradling the nape of his neck as if at any moment she would pull him down for a kiss. His arms were holding her just as intimately, with one palm resting on her back, only separated by a thin layer of silk and the other wrapped around her slender waist.

"Tommy Quincy. Whoa I didn't know he was back." Kyle saw Blake's blank expression and elaborated. "You know Little Tommy Q from Boyz Attack? Jude's first producer?"

"Producer?" They looked a little closer than simply old co-workers. "Were they together?" Kyle laughed.

"He's like seven years older than her and she was only sixteen when he left." Blake had to wonder though at how tightly the man was holding his girl and she looked so happy as she spoke to him, their heads bent close together.

"Where did he go?"

"He got a gig in New York I think." And Blake knew in that instant he was in serious trouble. Tom Quincy was the one she went to see, the one she had refused to talk about.

.

Jamie showed up late to the party, finally having figured with the help of Paegan that it was never Jude he was mad at. He was here to beg her forgiveness, but found her latest ex-boyfriend Blake and Kyle instead. They had met when Blake had come by G-Major to pick up Jude for a date. He asked Blake reluctantly if he knew where Jude was, but Blake was looking for her too. He had lost sight of her in the crowd on the dance floor and knew he had to find her to make his move before she got swept up by her old producer. Kyle left them to find his date, not wanting to get involved in the vibes he was picking up from either boy.

Jamie saw a beautifully styled blond head strolling nearby and walked towards her. He put his hand on Sadie's arm and she turned, the skirt of her gorgeous blue gown, a gift from her sister, swishing against his legs. Blake stopped behind him, also recognizing his girlfriend's hot sister. He eyed her appreciatively as Jamie said hello to Sadie.

"Hey Jamie. I didn't know you were here." She knew Jude and Jamie hadn't been getting along so was a little surprised to see him here.

"Yeah I just got here. Have you seen Jude? I wanted to talk to her." Jamie asked as Sadie frowned trying to remember when the last time she had seen Jude had been. She couldn't honestly remember it had been so long. Jude had plenty of friends to keep her occupied so Sadie hadn't exactly been worried that her sister wasn't enjoying her own party.

"She must have gone upstairs to freshen up." Sadie concluded. "Come on I have a key." She led the boys away, only stopping to tell Kwest, who was busy schmoozing a music contact, that she was going to bring them to Jude's hotel room.

**

When they entered the suite, courtesy of G-Major, they all heard a girl's laughter and then a man's voice coming from the adjoining bedroom. Sadie told the boys to wait in the living room before going in herself, forehead wrinkled in puzzlement. Who could Jude have in there? Her sister wasn't one for random hookups and Blake was out there with them.

Sadie screeched in surprise when she took in the sight before her. The two people turned to her in shock, interrupted in a private moment. He had been kissing her neck with his hands on her bare shoulders as she giggled at his tickling tongue. Her dress was pooled around her waist, leaving her in a nude colored strapless bra and his dress shirt was mostly unbuttoned and untucked, showing an expanse of his muscled chest.

"Holy Mother of...!" Sadie exclaimed. Blake and Jamie came running into the room at Sadie's screech and Tommy reacted immediately by shielding Jude's half naked form with his. He unbuttoned his shirt the rest of the way and took it off, handing it to Jude who slipped it on gratefully. "What is going on?!" Sadie demanded, hands on hips, glaring at Tommy. Jude peeked her head from around his shoulder. "What do you think you're doing with my sister?!"

"Yeah! What are you doing with _him_ Jude?!" Jamie added, not seeing Tommy for years had not lessened his jealousy of him.

"Jamie?" Jude said in confusion, last she had had known he was still angry with her.

"That's my question. She's my girlfriend!" Blake added. Jude's head cleared enough at his statement to defend herself. She had been high on champagne and Tommy and even being found out could not seem to kill her buzz completely.

"Ex! You broke up with me remember?!"

"Yeah and two seconds later you were on a plane to see him!" That was definitely news to most of the people in the room.

"Sadie we were just...catching up." Jude tried to calm her. Jamie eyes darted between Jude and Tommy, his brain unable to process the reality.

"On your back?!"

"It's not what it looks like." Tommy shifted so they could see Jude again and turned his head to give her a look. "Okay well it is"

"Hey Sadie it's been a long time." Tommy said smoothly to change the focus of their attention, as if they were all gathered around for afternoon tea. "Andrews." He nodded at Jamie. "and..." He trailed off not recognizing the blond haired man who appeared a little older than Jamie.

"That's Blake." Jude gestured towards him as she half hid her head on Tommy's shoulder. No this wasn't awkward at all, her sister, her best friend and newest ex catching her about to have sex with Tommy Quincy.

"Isn't he the one who called you a tease?" Jude let out an involuntary snort of laughter. Blake tensed, but no one really noticed, their eyes were all riveted on the bed.

Tonight was the night he was supposed to charm her and win her back. He was finally going to use the L word, assuming that was what she had been waiting for. Of course like most people, he did not know Jude as well as he thought he did. Her relationship with Tommy had changed her in ways she did not often show to the world.

"Of course you would remember that Quincy." Sarcasm dripping from her voice, causing a smirk to form on his lips. For a moment they forgot they weren't alone, the heat warming them once again. He heard the hitch in her breath and wished they would all just disappear.

"What are you even doing back?" Sadie questioned Tommy again.

"Tommy's just here for my birthday."

"Actually no." Jude turned to him in confusion. He had planned on surprising her with the news, but that somehow didn't seem that important right now.

"I've been told you need a co-producer." He had even gotten Darius to agree to let him break the news to Jude.

"You?!" A big smile crept onto her face. "But New York..." She had known he was doing great in New York.

"Aww hell. Not again." A man's voice said at the doorway. Sadie, Blake and Jamie turned to see who had come in.

"Hey man." Tommy nodded at Kwest who had come up to look for his girlfriend who had not returned to the party.

"Does her birthday make you extra horny or something?" Kwest said, shaking his head in mild disgust at the pair on the bed. Jude couldn't hold back a laugh at Kwest's words, making Tommy grin at her. Sadie narrowed her eyes and looked at the couple on the bed again.

"Could you all get out so we can get dressed?" Tommy finally said, getting annoyed with their gawking. Jude and he weren't a sideshow! They all left Jude and Tommy in the bedroom, Kwest having to push Jamie and Blake along.

.

When Jude and Tommy emerged from the sanctuary of the bedroom five minutes later his shirt was buttoned, but still untucked and she was once again wearing her slightly wrinkled dress. Blake and Jamie had been told to leave by Kwest with a promise that Jude would call them when she got the chance. The two boys had argued for their own reasons, but Kwest had calmly told them there was no way Jude was going to be in the mood to talk to them that night. Tommy sat on one of the cushioned damask chairs and Jude perched on its arm. They waited expectantly, sensing the mounting tension from Sadie who sat next to Kwest on the couch.

"You came back just to seduce Jude because she's eighteen now?!" Sadie yelled at Tommy.

"Sadie!" Jude said in shock. Where was this overprotective Sadie coming from?! Her sister was openly living with someone. Why would she care if Jude was about to...?

"How is that any of your business?" He asked, his tone holding the promise of anger. Tommy had never appreciated being shouted at.

"She's my little sister." Sadie couldn't believe it, Jude had broken up just recently with Blake because he had wanted to sleep with her and she hadn't been ready. As soon as Tommy came back into town he managed to charm her into bed! She had known Jude had had a crush on Tommy, but for him to take advantage of it made her angry.

"It's a little late to play the protector, don't you think?" He said with a bite.

"Tommy..." Jude said softly, putting her hand on his arm. The gesture was not missed by Sadie or Kwest, who had wisely decided to stay silent.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sadie put her hands on her hips in a combative stance.

"Does looking out for her include bringing her to a bar when she was fifteen and not even noticing that she left with a stranger?" He had never brought it up to Jude, but later as he had thought about it, it scared him that she could have gotten in way more trouble than she had with him, not that she hadn't gotten into plenty of trouble with him.

"Why'd you tell him that?" Sadie looked at Jude. "You promised you'd never tell anyone." She searched her sister's eyes, wondering why something so long ago would be brought up now. Obviously there was something she was missing.

"I didn't." Jude muttered quietly.

"Sadie..." Kwest finally said. She turned her furious blue eyes on her boyfriend.

"You knew?!"

"He figured it out." Tommy said calmly. Sadie was still struggling to absorb all the new information as Tommy's arm snaked around Jude's waist to pull her onto his lap. She leaned back comfortably as Sadie stared at the familiarity they exhibited.

"Does this mean you're together?" Sadie asked. They both spoke simultaneously, Jude with a 'no' and Tommy with a 'yes'. The two of them looked at each other in confusion.

"Sadie maybe we should leave them alone." Kwest suggested and Jude shot him a grateful look.

"We're going to talk later." Sadie said warning her sister in a menacing stern tone before Kwest dragged her onto her spindly heels and wrapped his arm around her to steer her reluctantly out of the hotel room.

Jude released a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding until she heard the click of the lock. She turned her head in the circle of his arms, her long hair brushing against his cheek.

"You're really back? For good?" She asked, half afraid to believe. He nodded and gave her that little boy smile, that never failed to melt her heart.

"D called me while you were on tour. Told me you were being a pain in the butt about finding a producer." He remembered the call clearly, because it was one of those moments when you could decide to change your life.

__

"Jude's having a hard time finding a producer she can work with. She seems to think she knows better than they do. Although her second album did really well, it could have been better. I want her third album to blow me away Tom and I think you are the missing ingredient." Tommy contemplated Darius's offer for only a small amount of time. He knew what he wanted to do, had wanted to do ever since she had come to New York. It all came home to him while she'd been on tour. He didn't want to be on the periphery of her life anymore. He wanted to be in it dead center with those big eyes staring at him and only him.

"I wasn't that bad." Jude complained. Tommy coughed and wisely did not comment. Darius had also mentioned something about a test. He might love her stubbornness most of the time, but was sure it was not one of Darius's favorite qualities about Jude. Darius was manipulative and controlling and Tommy was somewhat surprised he had given Jude as much freedom as he had.

**

"What is going on Kwest?" Sadie asked as they walked down the hallway, her heels making an angry staccato on the marble foyer to the elevator. From what Tommy had implied it was kind of Sadie's fault that they had gotten together, so Kwest had to choose his words carefully.

"Harrison you love me right?" Sadie gave him an impatient look as he pushed the down button.

"She's so innocent. Blake broke up with her cuz she wasn't ready...." Kwest didn't do a successful job of hiding the chuckle behind a cough. Innocent girl's didn't get songs written about their amazing oral technique. Damn Tommy and Jude! He forced the disturbing mental images out of his mind.

"Okay I'm going to tell you something. Promise you won't get mad." She looked at him pointedly until he continued. "You know that song you sang constantly last year? The one with the mystery artist who you swore sounded like Tommy?" Sadie was a bright girl and although her brain did not want to process such information, she made the connection right away. He wisely did not mention it had been Jude's seventeenth birthday present.

"That was about Jude?!" She screeched, literally hurting his ears as the elevator doors opened and they got in. Sadie still could not reconcile the Jude he was talking about with her sister whom she had known all her life.

"It was kind of your fault."

"How is it my fault?"

"Uh if you hadn't dragged your little sister to that bar, she would have met Tommy for the first time at G-Major and he would have stayed away from her." Kwest really believed Tommy would have tried to at least. He had tried this time too, but it was obviously harder when you've already slept with the person in question.

**

"I'm not going to let you just use me for sex you know?" Tommy said as his nose brushed against her ear, his breath warm on her neck, causing a shiver to race down her spine.

"Isn't that supposed to be the girl's line? Besides isn't that how you usually like your r.. women?" She almost said relationships, but besides her he had had none in a longtime. And even their relationship had been a couple of years ago.

"Jude..." He said her name like a caress.

Jude grinned as she wiggled on his thighs. Her hands went to her zipper and she lowered the bodice as he watched. She stood up, backing up a few steps and let the silky fabric slide off her hips into a pool onto the floor. Next she reached behind her to unhook her bra, keeping it on with her arms and her hands went to cover the cups, shielding her from his view. She let her hands fall away, knowing she had his attention as the scrap of material fell to the carpet, leaving her in the matching satin and lace g-string. He swallowed hard as he watched her lithe, smooth body, her hips shimmying as she hooked her fingers under the strings removing her final barrier of clothing. She walked up to him and straddled him as he lips hovered just above his, her hands on his shoulders.

"What if I want to use you for sex?" She whispered as her teeth nipped lightly at his chin. His hands gripped the armrests as he tried not to give into her seduction, but when her tongue flicked out to traced his lips he was a goner. His hands snaked around her bare back and his mouth pressed onto hers. Her hands were at his zipper and she pulled him free of the confinement. She stroked his hard length and poised it at her entrance, letting gravity take care of the rest, sinking onto him. He filled her wholly and she gave a little moan of satisfaction. She could not move much in the overstuffed chair, her knees not having enough room to let her hips rise much. He finally had to shift her backwards, pushing her onto the plush carpet. He hovered over her on his knees, as he removed his shirt. She placed her feet on the chair behind him, arching her hips up as he met her mouth with his and thrust into her once again. His hands cupped her ass, holding her angled towards him as his strokes stayed deep and steady. Her back arched and her nails dug into his ass as he pumped into her. He felt her inner muscles tightening in coiled tension and slowed his pace. She was a breath away from shattering when he pulled out, only the tip still inside her. She thought she could feel the throbbing of his hardness against her skin and tried to raise her hips to lead him in once more. She made a small noise of frustration, her mind not computing why he had stopped.

"Tell me we're doing this Jude." He said commandingly, although he was only a hairsbreadth from pushing into her again.

"What?" She looked at him with dazed and confused eyes, her brain clouded by the promise of release.

"All of it. Everything." She nodded wordlessly not even knowing fully what she was agreeing to. A gasp escaped from her lips as he plunged into her, over and over. He made sure she felt every press of his body sliding inside hers until she finally came apart in his arms. He joined her cries with his own as his body exploded inside of her warmth.

They cuddled on the floor, she idling tracing his stomach as they giggled and laughed over inane things. Only they would wind up on the carpet when there was a down filled bed in the next room, calling to them.

"So what happened to I should at least be out of high school?"

"I couldn't wait anymore. I wanted to share all that stuff you talked about in New York." His gaze was almost too intense for their lighthearted mood, so she changed the subject.

"So I can't use you for sex anymore?" She asked teasingly as her fingers wandered lower down his body making him give hiss in an indrawn breath. What was it about her touch?

"Only if I can take you out for dinner once in a while." He grinned at her.

"You are so manipulative." She commented as if she minded, which of course she didn't. This was the one thing that she had wanted that she hadn't had; Tommy back without hiding what they were to one another. It was a wish she hadn't been sure would ever be fulfilled.

"And you love that about me."

"I love everything about you Tommy Q." Jude whispered huskily as she swung a leg over his hips and pressed the length of her body against his.

They took the suite for the next day too, never straying from it, ordering room service and bathing in the accompanying hot tub. They ordered movies and simply reconnected. There was little serious discussion done only that they decided although they would not hide their relationship neither would they flaunt it in public, both of them knowing how invasive the paparazzi could get, especially since Jude had just barely broken up with Blake. She did not wanted to be labeled a slut or painted as fickle, having always preferred the focus to be on her music and not her private life.

"Hey did your friend ever get in touch with you?" Jude asked as she tucked into a bacon cheeseburger from room service. She was ravenous as she took a big bite of the large sandwich. She had been so busy she had almost forgotten about the mystery man who had shown up at G-Major.

"Who?" Tommy asked only half interested, since all of his friends knew how to reach him. He took a bite of asparagus and looked over at her.

"Uh...Hunter? I don't think he mentioned his last name. I told him you were in New York. I hope that was okay..." Tommy tensed and was thankful Jude was looking too intently at her fries to notice. He hadn't heard that name in a longtime and wondered what it meant that Angie's older brother was suddenly back in town. Last he had heard Hunter had been locked up for dealing drugs on the side at Boyz Attack concerts. It was probably a good thing that he had been in jail when Angie had her accident or who knew what he would have done.

"Yeah no prob. He never called me though. Jude if you see him again, make sure you tell me." She nodded as she gobbled her food down. She looked up at him suddenly and he gave her a puzzled glance.

"You're back?" She had to confirm it until it made a permanent imprint into her mind and heart.

"I'm back." He tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear as she gave him a brilliant smile.

**

He dropped her off Sunday night, since the next day was a school day for her and never once noticed they were being watched by the boy next door. Their lips met in a deep heartfelt kiss before he let her go.

"You're coming in right after school, right?" He asked, still not quite ready to be apart from her. She nodded and pressed her mouth to his again. She pulled back regretfully and smiled before getting out. If she had a choice she would have stayed with him forever, but somewhere along the line Jude had learned caution or maybe it was wariness. He had just gotten back and she wanted everything to be perfect this time around, which meant she would see how things went before jumping in heart and soul. And then there was her dad to deal with.

**

Tommy walked into G-major assuming things would be the same, familiar like an faded pair of worn jeans. He had a rude awakening to the flashy redecorating Darius had done and the new equipment in the studios. He didn't recognize a single face in the studio except Sadie and Kwest and was soon told his ex-wife had been given a couple of days off because of all the work she had put into Jude's party. That was one good thing anyway. He didn't want any drama on his first day back and he and Portia did not always get along, even after all this time. Darius had even renamed the studio rooms from A-B-C to 1-2-3. He hoped Jude would be there as soon as school was over because she was the reason he was standing in this place again, working for a man he did not entirely trust and definitely no longer admired.

**

"Now this is a sight for sore eyes. " Jude commented from the doorway as she leaned one crooked arm against the doorjamb while the other rested on one cocked hip. She took in the gorgeous man sitting at the soundboard. That was exactly where he was supposed to be. He swiveled in his chair at the sound of her voice and gave her that little boy smile she loved so much. She returned it with grin of her own.

"It's been a while Harrison." Which wasn't exactly true since he had dropped her off at home late last night.

"Things have changed you know? That's my chair now." She said as she walked the short distance to him and as soon as she got in reach he pulled her onto his lap.

"We can share." Their eyes locked as they grinned at one another. This felt right like it always had. "I think I'm going to like this whole co-producing thing." She ran her finger across his bare arm, just reveling in being able to touch him like this.

"So I was listening to what you had down for your song. What is this?" He played back part of the second bridge where Kyle went into this odd drum solo.

"I was just trying something new." Jude said sheepishly and he shook his head. She knew it didn't work, but hadn't had a chance to go back and change it. "So Mr. Producer man wanna show me how's it done?" He coughed, making her giggle. It looked like things were never going to be the same again.

"And here I thought you were an apt pupil Harrison. Am I gonna have to tutor you all over again?"

"Promises, promises." She purred, making his pulse react. What had happened to the mostly innocent girl he used to work with? He did not want to answer his own question. Music ruled them as surely as other pursuits did and they got down to business, falling into the same routine that had always been theirs alone, analyzing and trying different sounds.

"All the other chairs in this room broken?" Their heads swiveled towards the doorway at the same time at the sound of Darius's voice. He had come by to check on how they were getting along. He took in their positions with warning bells going off in his bald head. Tommy had one hand at the controls of the soundboard and the other dangling casually between her thighs, while she had one arm wrapped around his shoulder and her other hand resting on the soundboard.

"Uh...We're just getting reacquainted D." Jude commented, trying to appear innocent as she unfortunately adjusted her position in Tommy's lap.

"T. I need to speak to you now!" Darius boomed as he eyed the two people in the one chair, unhappily. Jude made to get off of Tommy, but his hands were at her hips holding her down.

"I'll meet you in 10 in your office D. Just let me uh finish up." She turned her head to look at him in confusion, wondering why Tommy would fight Darius on something so trivial his first day back at G-Major. Tommy pulled her back more firmly into his lap and Jude's eyes widened as she felt the reason why he would not let her up. Her cheeks started to burn as she was torn between laughter and mortification.

"I'll make sure he gets there." Jude promised as D was still standing there glaring at them. Darius shook his head and left, not liking this surprising turn of events in the least. Tommy tried hard not to snicker at the double entendre Jude had innocently spoken and as he looked into her blue eyes, maybe not so innocently. Jude made sure Darius was out of view before she spoke.

"Geez Quincy and here I thought I was the teenager."

"It's your fault." He whispered huskily into her ear, making her skin tingle.

"Excuse me is it my fault twice was not enough?" And that twice had been right before he'd dropped her off last night; they had spent that day and the night of her birthday together too. He wasn't really sure when he had become so insatiable. Despite what she said, he wasn't some overeager teenager anymore and the women he had had, kind of anesthetized him to simple beauty. It must have been her, he only ever reacted this strongly to.

"If we had stayed over in the hotel..." His warm breath tickled her neck. She grinned mischievously at him.

"I wouldn't be able to walk right now." Jude commented sagely as she hopped off his hard...thighs. Tommy sighed as Jude sat down a distance away from him.

"Stop looking at me like that." Tommy said as he tried to calm his pulse and other parts of him. She turned away, although he could just picture the sexy little amused smirk she had on her lips. He finally got up and brushed a fingertip along the back of her neck before stalking off to what was once Georgia's office and what now looked like some freaky pimped out disaster. Oh yeah he had seen it when he had come in this morning to greet Darius.

.

Tommy sat down nonchalantly in the chair Darius gestured at, resting one ankle on his other knee, looking at his new boss expectantly. Darius was never one to mince words as he stared at the man he had known since he was a young punk.

"What do you think you're doing with her T? She's barely eighteen. And I know you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Tommy congratulated himself on the evenness of his tone.

"This album is going to take months man. It's already behind schedule. What's going to happen when you get bored of her? I know she's different from your usual women, but how long before you want a little variety? You were her mentor." Tommy had never been particularly good at holding onto his temper, but he tried because he wanted to be here and did not want to risk getting fired.

"I only came back for her!" He said rashly, admitting much more than he had ever intended, making Darius blink as he absorbed that little tidbit. "You really think I needed your job D? Wendell was ready to offer me more money to get me to stay. Jude and I...We're none of your business."

"She's my artist."

"Let's see what happens if you make her choose between us D. I know all about the reason you're giving her freedom on this album." Darius's eyes narrowed.

"Are you threatening me?" Tommy was done with this pointless conversation.

"We'll do our jobs D. That's all you need to worry about. The rest of it....Not your concern." Tommy got up and walked out with dark analyzing eyes following him.

**

"Why are you staring at me big eyes?" Tommy asked as he leaned in towards her, his attention drawn away from the soundboard at her intent gaze. Her eyes were dark and thoughtful, drawing him into their depths.

"It's just kind of hard to really believe you're back. It seems so unreal." She had wished for it for so long, her mind had a hard time processing that it could be real. Their foreheads touched as their knees bumped.

"I'm back." He whispered the promise. Her full lips curled into a smile and she nodded.

Kwest walked by and saw them through the window. He stopped for a second and shook his head. It was like Tommy had never left. He felt a hand take his and looked towards his own beautiful girl. They both turned back to the couple on the other side, leaning close, sharing personal space with no hint of unease. Oh they were already the talk of G-Major the short time they had been here today. Although Kwest had told Sadie some of Tommy and Jude's real relationship, it was still hard for her to accept that her baby sister was suddenly, at least suddenly to her, dating Tommy Q. And it wasn't the first throes of dating where they were nervous and unsure, it was like they had dropped into something where they already knew the feelings were reciprocal, not that there wasn't a palatable tension in the air too though.

"I know this is going to sound cheesy, but they look like old lovers."

"Sadie they are..." Kwest said in a mildly amused tone. Their relationship had the flavor of that old movie An Affair To Remember and in the true sense of the term they were lovers. It was a twisted modern love story, but distance and time had not ended it. Kwest did not notice the sudden tenseness of his girlfriends shoulders as they continued to walk.

**

Their first day of work together wasn't prolific, but they were definitely easing back into that place they both knew so well. They barely noticed anyone else at G-Major, even though everyone at G-Major noticed their immediate closeness and were abuzz with gossip. Tommy even offered to take Jude out for dinner, but she preferred takeout and him all to herself. They had catching up to do after all. There were so many questions they had avoided during the weekend, but they would eventually need to be answered.


	30. chapter 28 Part 1

**Chapter 28-part 1**

She smoothed her long dark shiny hair down and pulled the hem of her transparent top down, revealing a little more of the cleavage spilling out of her black lace pushup bra as she got ready to meet him for the second time. Yesterday he had been introduced to her so quickly it had taken her a minute to realize who he was and by that time he had moved on. It was completely unbelievable that no one had told her Tommy Quincy was coming back to G-Major. She didn't care that no one else had known either. He was the producer that had made that no-name Jude Harrison go platinum on her very first album, the man who was famous in his own right and still made the cover of tabloids regularly was here and she would not miss the opportunity to work with him. So what if Kwest had been assigned her producer; she wanted the best and what she wanted she always made sure she got. Look at how easy it had been to enthrall Jude's ex Spied, even though she found she did like him more than she had thought. He was different than she expected, sweeter and not nearly as much of a push over as he was for Jude. She fluffed her hair one last time as her hand reached out.

Karma knocked once on the office door before barging in to find them sprawled on his couch. Jude was lying on top of Tommy, her legs between his as he held her, his hand stroking her hair. He barely looked up at the noise of the door opening and her subsequent arrival. Jude's head was resting comfortably on his chest, one hand splayed touching his side.

"Uh can I help you?" Tommy's shocking light eyes met hers in casual interest. Jude turned her head and looked up at her expectantly.

"Oh…I…Just wondered if you could help me with a song…I heard you were the best Tommy." Karma improvised, momentarily thrown by the sight before her.

"Jude and I are on a break right now. Besides I heard Kwest was your producer." He said it not unkindly, but a tad impatiently, although of course Karma being self absorbed missed that note in his voice.

"Oh yeah. But he doesn't write music…"

"Look talk to me later." Karma's smile brightened.

"Okay!"

"Karma do you mind?" Jude finally spoke, disgusted by the ploy the other girl was trying to pull.

"Thanks again Tommy. Bye Jude." She pivoted to leave making sure he saw the sway of her hips as she closed the door behind her.

Jude growled and Tommy laughed. She rested her chin on his chest and looked up at him.

"She is such a fake little…"

"Baby this is the business we're in."

"Do you think she's beautiful?"

"Uh…" Jude smacked his stomach, getting a gasp out of him. He captured her wrists and shook his head at her. "Looking good isn't that impressive in our line of work. You know that. To me she's forgettable." He kissed her cheek softly. "While you, have never been out of my mind."

"Not even when we first met?" She asked inquisitively.

"You know the answer to that." Their eyes connected and she smiled at him, before tucking her head against his shoulder.

**

"Your ex is a bit of a slut isn't she?" Karma said nonchalantly, although her attention was focused on Spied's reaction. They were at the rehearsal space, meeting up after work, sitting on the decrepit old couch. Spied sat up and looked at her in disbelief.

"Excuse me? That is not cool Karma."

"Well come on Spiedy. I mean you were dating her and then Blake and now Tommy's been here for all of two days and they are already pretty friendly!" She recounted what she had seen in the office. It didn't sound like Jude was being overly seductive to Spied, sickeningly sweet maybe, from the scene Karma described.

She was convinced Jude was putting out for Tommy so that he would dedicate all his time to her to make her music sound good. Karma had not been above a little flirting herself to get his attention focused on her and had been upset Jude had beaten her to it. Who knew the blond could be so devious!

"First of all Jude is my best friend so don't go there again. Second of all I never slept with her!" Karma's eyes widened in shock. Okay she had to admit she had been a bit jealous of Spied and Jude's relationship. He always seemed to show so much loyalty to her, Karma had assumed Spied was still a little in love with her. But they had never had sex, so what did that mean? Spied found he was not all that surprised by what Karma had told him about Jude and Tommy. Of course they were together again. If separate countries couldn't keep them apart, them staying away from each other would have surprised him way more. But if his best bud was happy then he had no objections.

"N…n…never?" Spied shook his head and stared at the vain selfish creature before him, wondering why he was so fascinated by her. Sure she was smoking hot, but they were so different. She was high maintenance while he was laidback. She liked being the center of attention and he was learning would do devious things to make sure it happened. Sure he hadn't said anything about her scheme at the press conference, basically calling Jude a slut, but he had taken note. The only reason he hadn't mentioned it was because he knew his friend could take care of herself.

**

Portia heard the whispers when she came back from her brief break, but no one would approach her with the gossip, she being the boss's sister. Darius had warned her that he had asked Tommy to come back to produce Jude and there had been no way for her to protest without seeming like she still had feelings for him. She was fitting Jude for the event where Darius was going to be presented an award for being an outstanding community leader when she saw them interact for the first time.

Tommy strolled into wardrobe to see his girl standing in front of the three way mirror, waiting impatiently for Portia who appeared to be looking through a pile of clothing in one corner of the room. His ex-wife had not noticed him yet, so he took the opportunity to get closer to Jude.

"You're beautiful." He said it softly into her ear as he stood directly behind her, his fingertips stroked lightly down her arm, causing a shiver to run up her spine. Her nipples tightened perceptibly underneath the blue silk sheath she wore braless and her breath hitched. Their eyes met in the mirror and he could tell she recalled another time they had been in this position in front of another mirror and he had said those same words. She spun around and glared at him as he smirked, knowing he had invoked those memories on purpose.

"I hate you Quincy!" Jude hissed and he grinned even wider. Portia looked up startled by Jude's tone to see him standing close to the girl. He leaned in and his words made a slow burn crawl up her neck to her cheeks, highlighting her fair skin.

"I love how you hate me Harrison." He murmured against her hair for her ears only, and as he pulled back her bright eyes were shooting daggers at him, but he ignored the lethal glare. "Portia." He acknowledged her as he walked back out of the room, leaving her frowning at his back.

**

Portia was quick to catch up to Tommy once she was done with Jude.

"What are you doing Tommy? Using your own artist?" He didn't not slow for her, continuing his walk down the hallway.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Portia leaned in close as to not be overheard by anyone walking by and got a whiff of the scent he was wearing. It was not the Curve cologne he had worn when they had been together years ago. Where had she smelled that fragrance before?

"You seducing Jude. I saw the way you touched her. She's a teenager Tommy!"

"Why do you care what I do Portia?"

"I…" She wasn't quite sure why her reaction was this strong, not wanting to admit what she was really feeling. But she could see him hurting that talented young girl so easily, just like he hurt every woman he came in contact with, her included. "You're her producer! She trusts you! We both know you're not the kind of guy to stay around."

"I said it to your brother and I'll say it again. Jude and I…We're nobody's business." He had confirmed that there was a Jude and him. In typical Quincy fashion he had the last word and stalked off. Portia had never seen him so worked up over a simple conversation before. Sure they had fought… a lot. But this hadn't been one of those yelling matches that had defined their short-lived marriage. He had been rational and in control, while still obviously angry at her interference. Then she remembered where she had smelled that scent before and it gave her serious pause. Armani Code; Jude's shower gel.

**

Jude had not seen much of her sister since her birthday. She had been so lost in the presence of Tommy she had barely noticed the strange attitude of her sister. So when she dropped by reception with an iced mocha she was surprised at the chilly thank you Sadie gave her.

"Sade's is something wrong?" Jude asked in concern. "Are you and Kwest okay?"

"Nothing's wrong…" She said calmly and Jude looked at her closely.

"I'm your sister. I know when you're lying." Sadie turned her head from side to side to make sure Darius wasn't lurking around before pulling Jude into Kwest's office.

"What is your problem?" Jude said in exasperation as she rubbed the elbow Sadie had gripped a little too tightly to drag her into the room.

"How could you keep it all from me?" Sadie demanded accusingly, forcing Jude to really look at her pinched face for the first time. Her eyes widened at her sister's anger.

"Why are you so angry Sadie? You knew I fell for him."

"Yeah well I didn't know you were sleeping with him or that he loved you!" Jude could see how it would hurt her sister. It was big, Jude being in love with a guy any guy, but especially with Tommy Q, Sadie's girlhood crush. Jude wondered if she had ever really gotten over it after meeting him in person. Tommy was even more magnetic up close than in any video Sadie would have watched or any concert she had gone to.

"How did you…." And the answer came to her. "Kwest…"

"Yeah….You should have been the one to tell me Jude. I'm your sister!"

"Do you remember how you acted back then Sadie? You tried to jump him every chance you got. You were ruthless and relentless. How was I supposed to tell you?" Sadie did not answer her, so she continued. "You think it was easy for me? He was my first everything…and…he made me pretend it never happened…And then when I finally had him he told me he was leaving for New York. I couldn't tell anyone that the guy I was in love with was leaving because of me." Jude remembered all too clearly how much it had hurt, still brought back phantom pangs, as the memories came swamping in. There had been no one back then who could have understood what she was going through, no one she could have told anyhow. And she had wanted to share with her sister so badly, but Sadie had been unpredictable when it came to Tommy.

"You should have told me." Sadie said quietly before standing up.

"I'm sorry Sadie."

"So am I Jude." Sadie held some pity in her eyes, but that was not all that was there. "I'll see you later okay?" Jude nodded, feeling every insecurity clearly once again at her sister's confrontation. Could she and Tommy really make it work? She was silent as Sadie let herself out the door. Tommy loved her and he had made the 'big gesture' he had come back even though he had planned on waiting until she had graduated. He had come back and that was all that mattered.

**

Later that same day Tommy and Jude sat at a table in the Hospitality area, drinking tea and poring over all the new material in her journal searching for their next project. Neither of them were particularly work oriented though and they were laughing at the television show they'd watched at his apartment the night before.

"Oh…I almost forgot." Jude said as she stood up, reaching into her front jeans' pocket. She took out a key chain and sat back down, holding it out to him. "Here. I should return these to you." He looked down at the keys in her hand, but did not reach for them. His gaze returned to her face and he saw the uncertainty written in her eyes. "I mean you're back now. I won't need them." Although she was ecstatic he was back, there was this hint of wariness that he occasionally caught in her eyes. She was still afraid to push him, to test how strong their new relationship was, so she had decided to give him his space although her heart protested the need for caution. They definitely weren't at that place that she could pop into his apartment anytime she wanted, were they? She felt too vulnerable to find out, and would be too tempted if the keys stayed with her.

One of the new interns bumped into her and muttered a quick apology, but she barely noticed. Her eyes were caught on the pair sitting closely together. Portia saw Jude hand Tommy keys, that he did not take. Was that a Porsche emblem on the key fob? But some of them looked more like house keys, than the larger size of a vehicle key. They spoke in low tones and finally his hand reached out, but only to close her fingers around her offering. He shook his head and sat back. Jude stood up again and put them back in her pocket.

**

He was watching from his bedroom window when the shiny blue sports car pulled up to her curb. He rolled his eyes at the flashy car. It was his belief, at least that's what he told himself, that only talentless posers needed to prove themselves with expensive cars. It was the second night she had come home this way and in his opinion two nights too many. Why couldn't she see past Tommy's good looks to the lack of depth underneath? No one would ever understand her like he did, know all the little quirks that made her special, the way the rain made her want to shout out in joy or the way the red of an Autumn leaf had inspired her to change her hair color. Although it was dusk he could still see them pretty clearly in the soft light, her blond hair like a beacon on the tree lined street. He saw her lean towards him and the hand that cupped her head to pull her in for a kiss. And was his other hand molded to her ass?! What was wrong with her?! He looked away for a second, hearing his Nana calling him for dinner and when his gaze returned to the window he could barely fathom the scene in front of him. Her head had almost disappeared from view, as her body seemed to be bent at an odd angle over his lap! No! Jude would never! But except for a few adjustments her head did not raise from his legs and Jamie felt suddenly sick, unable to look anymore. He turned away disgusted at what Jude had let herself become.

.

.

"So….You sure you don't want to come over?" Tommy cajoled as he put the parking brake on and turned to her. His finger brushed a curl resting on her cheek, lightly.

"I can't…" She said regretfully. "But I promise I'll make it up to you." She leaned in and traced his beautifully sculpted lips with her tongue, then slid it along the seam, until his mouth opened for her. Their tongues tangled languorously as his hand caught in her hair pulling her in closer, his other hand found her ass trying to lift her off her seat. She pulled back laughing breathlessly. There was no way _that_ was going to work in a Viper. When he went to move his arm back, it was apparent his cuff had gotten caught in her earring and with one tug it flew onto the driver's side floor.

"Ow." Jude complained as he grinned at her sheepishly. She bent over him, her chest pressed against his thighs and started rooting around for her jewelry.

"Hey while you're down there…" He felt the teeth on his thigh and thanked God he had worn jeans that day, not that a little biting in the right situation bothered him in the least.

"Dammit where the hell is it?"

"You want me to get out?" He asked, although he was enjoying this just fine.

"Found it!" She popped her head back up, waving the piece of silver triumphantly.

"Damn…" He muttered under his breath and she laughed again. She took his cheeks in her hands and pulled him in, her mouth open and hot on his. He had always wondered where she learned to kiss like that as she drew back with that sparkle in her big eyes.

"See ya." Jude said as she pulled her bag out of the back space and jumped out of the car before he could pull her to him again. He could only watch as her high heeled boots made her ass sway an extra beat with her long strides to the door.


	31. Chapter 28 part 2

_Since I got so many awesome reviews I thought I would post this early. And I'm celebrating finishing another chapter. and to everyone who likes Jamie I'm sorry. I actually believe this is totally in character for him however if sex had ever been brought up and he and Jude had never dated._

**Part 2**

The FJ Cruise pulled up to the Harrison home and the blond hopped out quickly. Sadie could not find one of her sweaters in the apartment and hoped she had left it in her old room.

"I'll be right back." Kwest nodded at her and she headed up the walkway. She started to unlock the door, but realized it was open and she quietly walked in to hear speaking coming from the living room.

"Tommy! No...."

"Baby everyone else has done it..." His voice was low and raspy, sending a tingle to Sadie at the way he spoke. But her sister was protesting something! Maybe everyone had been wrong and Tommy was coercing Jude! She quickly strode across the floor to the other room.

Tommy had Jude's wrists pinned above her head, her shirt was unbuttoned and his mouth was on her stomach, his body pressing her lower body down. She was wriggling to get away from him, at least that's how it seemed to Sadie.

"No...This is wrong...." Jude panted, but Tommy did not let up sliding his tongue lower to her waistband.

"What the hell! Get your hands off my sister!" They both turned to her in shock, Tommy shifting so Jude could sit up.

"Sadie?" Jude spoke in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

"Jude if you don't want to have sex, you don't have to! Just because he expects it doesn't mean..."

"What?"

"Sadie." They heard Kwest calling as he opened the front door. Sadie's head had turned at her name, but her golden mane swung back around quickly to the couple on the couch.

"Jude you shouldn't have to sleep with a guy to keep him. Leave her alone! She's not one of your bimbos!" Sadie yelled at Tommy who looked as confused as Jude. Kwest walked in and Jude's hand went to her shirt to hold it closed.

"Sadie I don't know what you think you saw."

"You said 'no' Jude. More than once!"

"Sadie..." Kwest's hand reached for her shoulder to calm her.

"Man get your girl out of here." Tommy said ignoring Sadie completely. He was trying to hold onto his temper only for his own girl's sake, since Sadie was her sister.

"Sadie I was saying no to doing it in here. You know on this couch. Where everyone in the family has done it but me." Jude explained. Sadie was deflated suddenly, thinking she had finally figured something out and to be told she was wrong once again. She let Kwest lead her back to the car, her mind still in turmoil.

**

Darius watched them through the window of the studio as they appeared to argue in the sound booth. At one point it looked like Jude was about to throw her journal at Tommy and he shook his head. He had been back for three damn days and they were already fighting. He had known this was a bad idea when he found out they were getting involved. His gut was rarely wrong about things like this. The unfortunate man started to walk by him and he stopped him with his hand.

"I knew this was going to be a disaster." Darius commented as he continued to stare at the arguing couple. Kwest followed his gaze and shook his head, realizing Darius had never seen them work together before.

"Give them 'til the end of the day and see if they have anything for you." He stated knowingly. When they got like this their energy could usually inspire great music, at least once they stopped yelling. "So how did you like Brooke's interview?" Kwest said turning so he blocked Darius's view. Tommy had just pulled Jude into him and covered her mouth with his. He would have to warn his friend about stuff like that later because if D caught then who knew what would happen. Darius started to walk with Kwest as the couple on the other side of the wall made up.

**

Jude came in the front door quietly, not wanting to wake her dad who had always been a light sleeper. There was a click and the sudden glare of the side table lamp. Stuart sat on the couch and looked at his youngest daughter sternly.

"Jude we need to talk." Jude bit her lip and walked over to sit across from her father. She eased out of her jacket as he watched her.

"What's up dad?"

"Am I supposed to believe you have to work this late every night? This never happened on your second album." It was midnight, Jude had school in the morning and this had become the norm for her. The truth was, she was done with work by six or seven most nights. She looked so apprehensive he could only sigh. "Jude I know you're eighteen now. You don't need to lie to me." Jude swallowed anticipating the disapproval she was sure to see in her father's eyes.

"I...I've been waiting for him to come back dad. I love him." Stuart couldn't respond for a moment. Even though this was what he had been pushing her to admit, it wasn't every day that your baby declared her love for another man. But he knew he wasn't being replaced even though he still felt like reality had shifted somehow and there was a pang of loss he could not deny. She was practically grown up and hadn't really needed him in a longtime.

"Bring him over for dinner on Friday."

"Dad really? I mean you already know him..." Tommy and she had just gotten into a rhythm. Wasn't it too soon to spring her Dad on him? She didn't want to put pressure on him, insecurity still present in her heart.

"I've never spoken to him when he's been dating one of my daughter's." Her dad said good humouredly, baiting her.

"Have you hung out with Kwest yet?"

"Uh...well...We've talked." Stuart stammered, but Jude's gaze was unflinching. It was only fair after all. "I'll call Sadie and invite them too." Jude breathed a sigh of relief. At least then all the attention wouldn't be on Tommy.

"Quincy you love me right?" Jude lay on her solitary bed, hugging her pillow to her chest.

"Uh...Why do I have the feeling if I say yes you're going to tell me something bad?"

"It's not bad really..."

"Yes I love you Harrison. Now spill."

"It's about my dad."

**

"So how have you been Jamie Andrews?" She cocked her head to one side, searching his face, genuinely wanting to reconnect with this boy, her oldest friend.

"I..." He started to say and just shook his head, trying to reign in his words.

"What? You can tell me anything, you know that."

"Jude what are you doing with this guy?! Letting him touch you! He's a walking STD. We used to make fun of guys like him in grade school!"

"What did you say?!" She was astounded at his quick brutal attack. She stood up and backed up a few steps to put some distance between them. Jamie crossed his arms and stared at her defiantly from his position on his chair.

"I saw you giving him a blowjob in front of your fucking house. What happened to you? The Jude I knew would never have done something that pitiful."

"First of all I don't know what you're talking about. Second, this isn't grade school anymore Jamie. This is my life you're so casually judging." She had never seen this aggressive side of him before, only the slightest hints, but not this full blown sanctimonious, holier than thou attitude.

"I never thought I'd see the day Jude Harrison would become a groupie to some washed up boybander." Condescension dripped from every word.

"You don't get it Jamie..." She just stared at him in fascinated disbelief, not wanting to hear, but unable not to, the spew of vitriol coming from his lips.

"Get what? That he's good to look at? Did he tell you he loved you before you let him put his hands on you? You're just another silly little girl that fell for that sorry Timberlake wannabe."

"I love him." She stated through gritted teeth, wondering why her feet refused to carry her away. Of course it had never been in Jude's nature to back away from a confrontation of any kind.

"And that makes you special? How many girls hearts has he broken?" Understanding suddenly dawned on her as she watched his face turn a purplish red.

"Are you the only one who's allowed to love me Jamie? I'm not your property and never have been." Jude was vicious now, responding to his cruel onslaught. Later she might come to regret how harsh she had been, but right then she was so tired of justifying herself to her immature former best friend. They had history together, but she couldn't help but wonder if it was time to let things go. Wasn't that part of growing up? "He loves me Jamie! Not some idealized version that I could never be. And yeah maybe he's been with a lot of women, but at least he doesn't treat them like garbage when they don't live up to his expectations. " Jude shook her head. "He respects me." She gave a cynical laugh. "While my best friend just called me a stupid little whore. Now who would I choose? The guy who held me as I cried over my friend's death or the one who said it was my fault." To her his eyes looked dismissive and she felt slightly numb. She had loved him like a friend for countless years. Was this what it had all come down to? "True love isn't conditional. Hopefully when you actually fall in love she can live up to your expectations cuz Patsy couldn't and I sure as hell don't plan to try."

"That's bullshit Jude! And he's gonna dump you on your ass and you'll deserve it."

"You don't know anything about our relationship Jamie."

"I know he's using you. Don't come to me when he's done with you."

"How long do you think I can keep him interested Jamie? Hypothetically. A week? A month?" Jamie scoffed having never seen any sign of real commitment in relation to someone like Tommy Quincy. He hadn't even been able to stay at G-Major for more than six months, before he had moved on. "Three years?" The words hung between them as she wondered if he would accept them for the admission they were. "You don't know anything about us because you don't know what it means to love someone. It's not supposed to come with conditions Jamie." Tommy wasn't perfect, she knew that, but she loved him flaws and all. Everything he had done, every mistake and every triumph made him the man he was, so she would never judge him for his past. Because she loved the man he was, the one who wrote her songs and looked at her so sweetly. The one who had tried to stay away from her for her own good and made her breath catch when he kissed her.

Spied heard the tale end of the conversation as he came in to retrieve the guitar picks he had left earlier, but wisely stayed silent as Jamie stalked off.

"Dude don't you think you were a little harsh?" Jude shook her head tiredly, feeling every tight knot in her shoulders.

"He called me a whore Vin." Spied cringed, not believing his friend could be so cruel.

"Seriously?"

"He asked me if I made Tommy tell me he loved me before I let him touch me."

"God. He's in love with you Jude." At least that's what Jamie had always claimed to Spied it was. But even he was starting to doubt the validity of what Jamie said. Spied had never been in love that he knew of, but he did know you wanted the one you loved to be happy. And everyone who knew Jude could see she was practically glowing.

"That doesn't make it alright."

"I know." She kicked his shoe with her boot and he held his arm out. "Come here." She stepped into his hug and he started to wheeze. "Oww...Harrison...Not so tight." She loosened her grip and pulled back to smile at him.

"Sorry..." He shook his head and squeezed her shoulder. "Bro's before hoe's?"

"Hah! You admit it! Tommy Q is a..." Jude had her hand over his mouth before he could shout out words that would get him killed or at least seriously injured, as she saw the man in question walking by the open door giving them a curious glance before walking on.

**

Jude heard the knock at the door and rushed to answer it before her father could get there. She opened it breathlessly and stared up into his light eyes.

"Hi..." She said as he gave her, her look.

"Hey."

"Tommy." They both turned to see Stuart walking up behind Jude. "Come on in." He invited and they all stood in the hallway a little awkwardly.

"Oh Mr. Harrison this is for you. I hope you don't already have it." Tommy handed him a thick album cover which Stuart took with obvious delight. "It's the Led Zeppelin BBC sessions."

"Call me Stuart." His eyes lit on the album cover. "Wow that's great! I have the remastered version on CD, but nothing beats the rough sound of the vinyl. Something gets lost with a disc, don't you think?"

"Uh...yeah totally..." Tommy had let himself forget about Stuart's almost crazed fanaticism to classic rock. Jude snickered behind him and took his hand with her smaller one.

"Kiss ass..." She leaned in to whisper in his ear as her father took the first record out of the sleeve to place on the turntable. You Shook Me came on and they both jumped in surprise, Jude in slight mortification as her father bobbed his head to the distinctive twang of Robert Plant and what he sang about.

.

__

You know that you shook me baby

You shook me all night long

I said you shook me baby

You shook me all night long

Jude and Tommy stared at one another in slight discomfort. Jude ripped her eyes away from his and turned to her dad.

.

_You shook me so hard baby_

_Baby, baby, baby_

_I can't leave you alone_

_No, no, no, no_

"Uh dad aren't you still cooking?"

"Right...Make yourself at home Tom." Jude leaned against Tommy trying to hold in the laughter as Stuart walked back into the kitchen.

"Think he'll let you come home with me tonight?" He whispered against her ear.

"And who says I want to?" She asked as she turned her head so that their lips were a mere breath apart. Who would have broken first they would never know because at that moment her Dad called from the kitchen asking her to set the table.

Kwest and Sadie arrived soon after, Kwest handing Stuart a bottle of wine which he immediately set to uncorking. Stuart started to brag about the record Tommy had brought and the two sisters shared a mutual eye rolling.

**

"Dad don't tell me you're really okay with this." Stuart turned puzzled eyes at his eldest daughter as he expertly tossed the salad at the kitchen counter.

"With what exactly hun?"

"Them!" She waved a hand in the direction of the dining room.

"Sadie your sister is eighteen now. There's not a whole lot I can do to stop her from dating whom she wants."

"But don't you think he's just using her?" Stuart was silent as he mulled over her question.

"Why would he go to all this trouble then Sadie? It doesn't really compute. If he didn't care for her he would never have taken care of her when she took that little break of hers. And Jude said he came back for her." Sadie was silent, confusion at her high emotions and all the new things she learned were making a muddled mess of her brain. "All I know is when she came back she was better than when she left."

"She actually told you she went to see Tommy in New York?" Sadie asked in surprise. Kwest hadn't mentioned that to her and she felt another stab of anger. There was yet another thing they had purposefully kept from her. Stuart chuckled as he got two bottles of salad dressing from the refrigerator.

"Of course not. She told me she went to see an old friend and that they weren't together. I figured out the rest when Tom showed up on her birthday." Jude had not even told Sadie that much.

"You don't think he's too old for her Dad? And he's been around the block." Stuart turned to face Sadie who had volunteered to come in here to help him, but instead was leaning against the counter playing with the salad utensils.

"Is this really about you worrying about Jude? What's the real problem Sadie?" Her father's eyes were penetrating and she could only shrug.

"I don't know... Everything just feels wrong. I guess it's just hard seeing my baby sister in such a grown up relationship." That was part of the truth anyway, but it was the 'with Tommy' part that really bugged Sadie. Stuart sighed and put down his knife.

"All I ever wanted was for you girls to be happy. I'll always be here for you Sadie." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and gave it a quick squeeze and she smiled at him faintly in response.

Dinner went pretty well and Sadie was able to keep her discord from the room at large. Stuart had gotten into a discussion with Kwest, Tommy and Jude over Bob Marley, leaving Sadie feeling a little left out. Sadie stared at her sister and Tommy who sat close next to each other, catching them glancing at each other more than once. Jude had even handed Tommy half of her buttered roll. The whole thing was disconcerting and she saw that Stuart was barely phased by how close the two of them acted. And her parents had never let her drink at eighteen! But Jude had a half empty glass of Kwest's wine in front of her place just like the rest of them did. When dinner was over, dessert and coffee finished they all offered to clean up for Stuart, but he had refused their help.

.

"You guys get going. I know you have better things to do than to spend the rest of your Friday night with your old man." She kissed her dad on the cheek and took Tommy's hand. "Give me a call if you won't be home tomorrow okay?" Jude blinked in surprise but took it for the blessing that it was. She nodded with the most sincere smile on her face and Stuart knew he had taken the right approach. He had never seen her this happy. They all exchanged goodbyes and the two couples were soon at their respective cars.

Sadie frowned at the Porsche in front of them as she buckled her seatbelt. She could not believe Stuart had been okay with Jude spending the night at Tommy's. Why was she the only one who had a hard time accepting their relationship as if it was natural?

"Anywhere you want to go?" Kwest's voice intruded in her thoughts. The Porsche pulled out then, leaving them alone on the street.

"Uh...I don't know...How about you?" Sadie plastered a smile on her face and turned to her boyfriend.

"Want to rent a movie?"

"Sounds good." She rested her head against the back of the seat and looked out the side window, staring at her reflection in the glass.

**

Jude crawled into bed beside Tommy and his eyes left the television to stare at her appreciatively in a simple red tank top and black panties.

"Do you think my dad noticed I didn't bother to bring anything with me?" Of course she had spare clothes and a toothbrush here, but her father probably did not need to know that. Tommy shook his head.

"Your father is amazing or crazy. If I were in his place I would never have let you date me."

"He knows you make me happy. He trusts me. And why wouldn't you let me date you? Did that make sense?" Jude gave a quick shake of her head and laughed at herself, but Tommy did not join in her humor. Tonight had been something of a revelation to Tommy. He had never been that guy a girl brought home to meet the family. But now Stuart Harrison was entrusting him with his youngest daughter and it floored him that he could have that much faith.

"Because my past isn't good enough for a girl like you." Jude frowned and looked into his eyes.

"Tommy...Your past makes you who you are now. And I love every part of that." Jude kissed his cheek softly and he closed his eyes inhaling the Armani Code she still bathed with. It was funny that he still noticed it, since he used the same cologne now, but on her it smelled different mixing with her natural scent. He linked his fingers through hers as he spoke.

"There are things about me you don't know Jude." She nodded solemnly.

"And when you're ready you'll tell me what they are." How did she know he wasn't ready? His answer was instinctual to take them away from issues he wasn't ready to reveal, as his mouth found hers, pulling her lower lip in to suck and nibble on. Her hands splayed across his bare chest, as his tongue entered her mouth to find the faint taste of strawberries and coffee still lingering on her flesh. Her tongue met his and stroked against his intrusion as his hands went to the hem of her tank top. They broke apart only long enough for him to draw it over her head and fling it to the floor.

And in the next instant his hot breath danced on the skin of her breast before he took the sweet flesh into his mouth. His tongue circled the peak of one nipple while his hand cupped the other breast, thumb brushing against that hardened nub, causing ragged gasps to escape her lips at the sudden pleasure coursing through her blood. He was unrelenting as he played with the sensitive flesh, making sure she was practically aching for more before letting up.

Tommy guided Jude onto her belly, holding her hips in place as his tongue swirled at the small of her back making her arch up in reaction. When he ran a wet trail up her spine she trembled with barely controlled need. She wanted to turn and press every inch of her body against his, wanted him deep inside her, filling her to the breaking point, but he did not let her up. His torture of her was sweet and slow as her hands dug into the sheets to find some purchase. His hands were firm on her thighs as he spread them from behind. She felt one digit slide to the front of her body, slicking her lips with her wetness as it went, gliding against her most sensitive nub.

"Tommy..." Was that her begging in that husky stranger's voice. Two fingers entered her suddenly causing her hips to buck backwards in reaction. She let out a small cry as they pistoned out and then in again in a fast pace. When the third finger joined the others she whimpered at the fullness. He pumped his hand against her body until she shattered on a scream muffled by his pillow.

She lay spent on the bed still on her belly as he hovered behind her. He brushed the hair away from her neck and laid kisses against the soft skin, pressing his mouth against her shoulder. Jude turned her head to look into his darkened eyes. "Tommy..."

"Tell me what you want Jude."

"You." She whispered. His arm looped under her belly bringing her onto her knees and she went willingly, letting him take control again. His hands covered hers and placed them on the headboard where she wrapped her fingers around the cold metal. He knelt between her outspread legs and the tip of him grazed teasingly along her moist folds, until she pushed back and he entered her in one hard thrust. She let out a gasp as he bumped against her cervix. One arm wrapped around her middle just under her breasts and the other hand flattened against the wall. He pushed in deeply before withdrawing almost all the way out, only the head of his erection still within her body before he stroked in once again. With every stroke his pace increased until he was pounding almost wildly into her. She bit her lip to hold back the loud cries that wanted to escape, but he wanted her total surrender. His arm moved from around her waist and his fingers delved into her silken folds finding the hidden cluster of nerves. With barely more than a few caresses she was crying out her pleasure, the sound reverberating in the large room. Her muscles squeezed him tightly as she pushed back meeting his every thrust. His movement became frantic and uncontrolled as every stroke brought more sensation, until his mind went completely blank and all he could do was feel her body squeezing every tremor of desire out of him. He collapsed onto his side pulling her down with them, their sweating bodies sticking where their skin met. She turned her head to face him and he brushed his lips against hers before collapsing onto his back.

This level of intensity was completely insane and not something he thought he had ever felt with another woman. And the worst part was the beast that was momentarily sated would urge him to reach for her again once he found the strength. Jude rubbed her cheek along his sweaty chest and grinned up at him through her long lashes.

"I love you Tommy." Her angel's voice wrapped around him like velvet.

"I love you too." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she snuggled into his side. That was the extent of energy he had left and he had to laugh at what she had made him become.


	32. Chapter 29 part 1

**Chapter 29- Part 1**

Ian came into the building looking beautifully bronzed and completely relaxed with sunglasses perched on his sun bleached hair, looking for his favorite client with JP at his side. They had hopped a plane for Bermuda right after Jude's birthday for a much needed vacation and had just gotten back. When Jude saw them she immediately left Tommy in the middle of a sentence to rush over to him. They embraced, laughing as Jude badgered him about his trip.

"So are you going to thank me for your birthday present?"

"Uh...thanks..." Jude couldn't for the life of her remember what he had gotten her. Her birthday had been so hectic and her room still had boxes of presents from people she didn't remember meeting. What was she supposed to do with a gold Monte Blanc pen she did not know. Ian laughed and leaned in close.

"Who do you think put it into Darius's head to ask Tommy to come back?" He had known exactly how to play the dictatorial man, never bluntly stating he should give Tommy a call, just giving subtle hints like how he had listened to Jude's first CD and thought it was missing that certain something in her second. He remembered his fine piece of work with pride.

.

.

__

That day while Jude had been on tour, he had popped into G-Major to invite Darius to lunch with only one true goal in mind. With curiosity piqued the other man accepted. Ian made sure he kept it all casual as they tucked into their meals at an upscale French restaurant. They talked about another up and coming artist client of Ian's mentioning a possible deal.

"So have you heard from Jude?" Ian asked nonchalantly as Darius cut his filet mignon in a green peppercorn sauce.

"Her chaperone keeps me informed. Has she called you?" Darius answered before taking a bite of the tender beef.

"She called me last week. Said she was having a great time. She said the West coast was kind of a culture shock." Darius nodded. "So did she manage to find a producer before she left? I never heard." Of course Ian knew she had not, although she had interviewed several of them. Darius growled around his food and swallowed.

"Your girl..." He said in absolute frustration. "Did you know she gave all of them a test?! Professionals and she's testing them like school kids. And half of them went through with it! And she still didn't think any of them were good enough." Ian figured he knew why she was so dead set against them and it had too much to do with the one producer she really wanted.

"You know I was listening to her first CD the other day."

"Yeah?"

"I actually think it was pretty good, almost better than her second." Darius nodded as he tucked into his scalloped potatoes.

"She and Tommy worked well together. They had great chemistry." Ian grinned to himself. Darius had no idea how much chemistry the two of them had and that was definitely a good thing. The seed was planted and now all he could do was wait.

.

"Ohmygod!!! I love you! You're like my fairy godfather!" Then she frowned. "Okay that sounded wrong..." She was laughing as she kissed his cheeks with her arms around his neck. Tommy watched them stopping his conversation with JP, who had come up to him, to stare not knowing what to think. Things really had changed since he'd left. Jude had become friends with people from his past. He didn't know why he assumed they would have remained the same. JP walked over to them and Jude hugged him also, leaving Tommy to wonder when they had all gotten so close.

**

Tommy pushed the glass door open and stepped into the din of the crowded bar a few blocks away from work. He had just left G-Major and decided to stop in for a drink to relax before he headed home. A familiar blond head caught his attention at the bar, so he strolled over to her, sitting down beside her without asking. Her blue eyes locked with his paler ones as she turned her head to see who had the guts to dare her wrath. Normally she had men swarming to buy her drinks, but tonight she gave off 'do not disturb' vibes that had the worst drunk backing off. The bartender came up to them and he ordered, then nodded his head towards her glass and she nodded her head too. He signaled another round for her and then they were left alone.

"Kwest said you were going out with your friends tonight."

"I...decided I didn't feel like it." He could tell by her slightly slurred speech that the half filled glass was not her first and probably not even her second.

She half mumbled something he could not decipher. He leaned in close to hear her above the bar din and she in her sadness and inebriated state she took it for a sign. He felt the warm lips pressing down on his and her arms wrapping around his neck. He reached back and grabbed her wrists, unwinding her from him and shoved her back, letting go of her as soon as her body was no longer touching his. He could only stare at her in disbelief, watching as she wrapped her arms around herself, suddenly cold in the enclosed space. They continued staring at one another as his anger started to simmer. She was oblivious to the menace emanating from him, only feeling his rejection. Why hadn't she been good enough for him? That question had plagued her since the night of Jude's birthday, the night she had found out more about her little sister's love life than she wanted to know.

He watched them clearly through the window of the bar, wondering who the sexy blond was. And here he was, starting to think Quincy had gotten boring in his old age. The nights before when he had followed him, he had either gone straight home or stayed at G-Major until late. This little rendezvous was more his style; a little action while his girlfriend was otherwise occupied.

Quincy had zeroed his sights on her as soon as he had entered the establishment. She looked familiar, hadn't she left G-Major right before Tommy? Wasn't she the receptionist? He gave a laugh of surprise when Quincy pushed her away roughly after she had leaned in to kiss him. Man she was hot and he was treating her like poison. Was she an old lover? Their body language definitely didn't suggest it. Little Tommy Q turning down a gorgeous woman flinging herself at him. He shook his head. Things had changed and he wondered if it was due to the lovely Miss Harrison with the angel's voice so much like Angie's. He had followed Tommy out of work tonight, trying to find out more about his new life and to confirm his belief on who Tommy was with. He had almost doubted himself for a moment when the blond at the bar reached out for Tommy, but the man had proven him right. Tommy seemed focused on only one woman now and that made his job that much easier. Soon he would have to pay his former friend a little visit.

"Why not me?! I wanted you so much and she...She has everything." Jude had the fame, the money and the man Sadie had once upon a time had a poster of, hanging on her wall. Her little sister, the misfit, the punk girl with the guitar and the dorky friends now had everything, all because she could sing. She had the one Sadie had been in love with as a girl and dreamt about every night. It had been impossible that she had gotten to meet him at all and she had been convinced he would like her back. She had been sure she was exactly his type. Sadie Harrison had never been second best and did not know how to take it gracefully. He shook his head, trying to keep from yelling at this vulnerable girl. They barely acknowledged the drinks placed before them.

"Sadie you're a beautiful, smart girl and if I had met you at a bar I probably would have taken you home and we would have had fun, but it would never have gone farther than that. I was never looking to be anyone's boyfriend. The only reason you were memorable was because you were her sister." Maybe the words were harsh, but they had to be said. She stared down at her drink morosely and spoke without looking up again.

"What makes her so special?" He flinched, not understanding how Jude's own sister could ask that question.

"The moment I met her she saw through me. I don't know why, but Jude got me. You don't know me Sadie, all you wanted is this image. She wanted me. If Kwest doesn't do that for you maybe you should tell him." There was fear in her glassy eyes now, feeling finally his anger, and her own fear that he would tell his best friend what she had done.

"Are you going to tell them?" She asked in a horrified whisper. She knew Jude loved him; it was obvious in the way she looked at him. And Kwest, Sadie loved him, she did, but what she perceived as his betrayal stung more than she ever wanted to admit, coupled with her insecurities she was destroying her relationship, and deep down she knew that. When had she become so insecure? Was it when her little sister had finally won at something she couldn't even compete at? And was she thinking of the contest or the beautiful man sitting beside her?

"I won't tell Kwest" She was about to thank him when he continued. "It's not for you. I don't want Jude to know that her sister would try something like this. She trusts you. After what your dad did and then your mother...She needs to be able to trust you." Sadie flinched at his words, finally realizing that he would fight for her sister against anyone. She had been so convinced this was some elaborate game they had all set up against her, but he was serious. He wasn't interested enough in her to bother fooling her. The burning humiliation had her feeling weepy; the sheen of tears in her eyes softening his tone. "I think you do care about Kwest. So what's the real problem Sadie?" Tommy was surprised at himself for being so insightful.

"They lied to me; both of them together. I've been trying so hard to forgive them, but I just can't... They are the most important people in my life and they didn't tell me the truth." Shit. He didn't know how to deal with this. He himself had never been a forgiving person. Her reasons did not make what she had done right, but he had never been able to ignore a tearful woman.

"Sadie it wasn't Kwest's place to tell you anything. It's not some conspiracy against you. Jude and Kwest both love you." She nodded tearfully. "Let's get you a cab." He would not risk driving her home himself. He wasn't sure he could control his anger if she tried anything.

"But my car..." Her head felt like cotton candy and she was so confused. She didn't really want Tommy, right? He had been right about that, so why had she made a move on him? She could claim it was simple altruism to test if he was really faithful to her sister, but they both knew that wasn't the truth.

"Your boyfriend can drop you off in the morning."

"Okay..." Tommy took his wallet out and dropped a twenty down, before escorting her out onto the street. She looked up from the open door of the car as Tommy leaned in and finished handing the driver some money. Sadie put her hand on his arm, but he pulled it away.

"Tommy I..."

"Don't." He warned before backing up. He held the door waiting for her to duck her head back in and shut it soundly, not bothering to even watch as the vehicle started off. She sat back in the seat and closed her eyes. She would not truly fathom her actions until she was sober.

**

Portia had arrived bright and early at Jude's front door with the MTV crew who were going to follow her around for the day for their documentary show, The Evolution of a Song: Jude Harrison Edition. They had been scheduled for the previous week, the day after Jude's birthday party, but that had been when Jude had holed up with Tommy and been unreachable. Luckily Ian, being the master at his game, had anticipated what would happen with Tommy back in town and managed to reschedule them.

Jude walked out onto the fire escape to get away from the cameras that had been following her all morning. It was unnerving to have every move she made documented. They had even tried to follow her into the bathroom! She had had to produce on her own, since Tommy was still in New York until tonight. Tommy had had to fly down at the beginning of the week to finish up some details for Wendell Records including attending Drew Waters record release party for his second album produced by him. She missed him like crazy, but Darius had said no to her going with Tommy for that long. She cursed the mean bald tyrant for a minute, her heart literally aching for the man who had barely been back.

"Good timing Harrison." He said as his cab sped off. The sunlight glinted off his sunglasses as she stared down at him in surprise.

"Tommy? I thought you weren't coming back 'til tonight." Jude started down the stairs quickly a huge smile on her face. He slung his bag over his shoulder and strolled over to her quickly. "I missed you Harrison." He said as they met.

"Tommy..." She was about to warn him of the camera crew stalking her, but before she got the words out he had pulled her into his arms and his lips were insistent on hers. His tongue demanded entrance to her mouth and she found herself allowing him access. It had been too long! Jude's instincts to respond warred with her common sense to pull away, but by that point it was already too late. They both heard the door slam from behind her and Tommy lifted his head to see the camera pointed at them. They had no idea there was also another observer looking on.

"What the..." Tommy started.

"I tried to warn you." Jude said inanely as she pulled away from his embrace. "They've been filming me all day." The camera crew drew close and Jude planted a fake smile on her face. "Hi guys you found me. This is Tommy Quincy as you probably know. He's my...co-producer." Tommy gave an equally forced smile into the lens.

"Hey."

"Uh any chance you could erase that last bit?" There was a distinctive pleading note in her tone as she begged them with her eyes.

"Sorry...Not our call." The cameraman said a little too cheerfully. Now this was good footage, sure to bring in tons of attention once they released the previews for the show.

"Of course not." Jude muttered caustically under her breath. She turned her head back to Tommy and nodded at the door. "Come on co-producer." She led them back into the building, the cameras continuing to roll.

**

"Hey Quincy! You used all the sugar didn't you?!" Jude shouted towards the bedroom as she scooped the grounds from the grinder into the coffeemaker. Tommy rolled his eyes, not bothering to form a response at her loud voice as he continued what he was doing. She hated black coffee and this would seriously ruin her day. Jude Harrison caffeine junkie needed her morning fix, especially with all the late nights Tommy had forced her to keep. Okay maybe force was too strong of a word, more like coerced her into, using her raging hormones against her. She gave a silly grin as she got two mugs out of the cupboard. He was so hot and he was hers. Jude heard a light tapping at the front door and frowned.

Portia took in the sight of Jude standing in the doorway, both their eyes widened in surprise. The girl stood before her with hair slightly damp, her face scrubbed free of all makeup, drawstring pajama bottoms and a baby blue tank top on. It was clear that she had stayed the night. Of course Portia knew they were dating now, it was kind of hard to miss, but this was surprising on so many levels. She knew well that Tommy did not like his women staying over, preferring solitude when he slept.

"Um...Hey Portia...Come in." Jude said a little awkwardly, gnawing on her lower lip as she stepped back. Portia could only marvel that the girl was treating this like her own domain to feel free to invite her in.

Portia had never seen this apartment, but took in the simple expensive pieces mixed with the few things Tommy kept from his past. She noticed the key ring on the console table by the door, a Porsche key, two sets of house keys and a pewter guitar were among the things on it. There was more than one pair of Jude's shoes by the door and her jacket was slung over the back of the dining room chair. A couple of textbooks and a notebook were scattered carelessly on the table. Portia was having a hard time coming to terms with the facts laid out in front of her.

Even when she and Tommy had gotten married he had been reluctant to make space for her in his apartment and before they had eloped he had never been forthcoming with too many invitations to stay the night. She had come to accept that he was a fanatically private person and she had been convinced she was the one who could open him up. Of course she soon found out she was wrong. Tommy Quincy only shared his surface emotions, at least back then.

She couldn't believe Jude's relationship with Tommy could have progressed so quickly even if they had a past. How had Jude gotten Tommy to let her into his life when no one else had ever succeeded in that feat? Not even Angie who he had claimed to love and had been prepared to leave Portia and Boyz Attack for, had really ever gotten him to let down his guard.

"Do you want some coffee? Tommy should be out in a minute." Jude interrupted Portia's thoughts. Portia nodded even though she usually preferred tea to coffee.

"That'd be great." She followed Jude into the kitchen and watched as Jude got another mug from the cupboard and a spoon from the drawer with familiar ease. Jude poured the coffee into three mugs, keeping her gaze averted from the other woman, still not sure what to make of the whole situation. She stirred in some half and half, the clink of the spoon the only sound in the kitchen and then offered it to Portia who did the same.

.

"Harrison you're the only one that's been here the last two years. If there's no sugar maybe you used it all!" Tommy came out with a green hand towel around his neck, one side held to his cheeks wiping the remnants of shaving cream away. He looked up finally to see his ex-wife staring at him. "Portia." Portia's eyes flew to the living room where she could make out what she had seen on the table earlier. Two sets of house keys. Jude had keys to his apartment?! And to his car?! The man who had never truly shared himself with anyone seemed to be cohabitating with this girl, tying her up with details of his life. Portia couldn't even fathom any of it. First that Jude had had access to this apartment years ago and that he was totally comfortable having her here. None of it made any sense. She had been sure he had been in love with Angie all those years ago and even then he had chosen fame over her. With Portia she had always known he had held part of himself back, but now...

He had always been edgy and ill at ease when people invaded his personal space, but before he had shoved his careful nonchalant mask back into place when noticing her presence, he had been relaxed and carefree. Carefree? Tommy Quincy who had baggage haunting like ghosts even at eighteen, was standing before her now, not at all the man she remembered. She had concluded years ago that Tommy just wasn't the kind of guy who could be content settling down, giving herself solace that it had not been something lacking in her. But these two, they already shared a history, probably more of one than Portia and Tommy shared, even with Jude being so young.

Portia looked between Jude and Tommy who had surreptitiously slid his way partially in front of the girl; shielding her?

"So what's up Portia?" Tommy asked calmly although she could guess she was not entirely welcome here.

"It's about an old friend..." Portia looked pointedly at Jude, not sure what she should say in front of her about their shared past.

"Who?"

"Um..."

"It's okay I'll leave you alone." Jude spoke up finally and picked up her coffee shooting a glance at Tommy who had turned his head at her voice. Portia noted the tender look he gave her and that his arm reached out to touch her hand reflexively before she left them alone. This was so beyond the scope of her understanding of Tommy Quincy. Consideration for another had never been one of his virtues.

"So you're serious about her."

"Yeah...So what couldn't you tell me at work that you had to come here for?" He folded his arms over his chest, leaning one hip against the counter.

"Hey don't give me an attitude Tommy." She grew defensive at his sarcastic tone, falling back on old reactions. Tommy straightened, noticing her somber expression.

"I'm sorry. I just never expected you to turn up on my doorstep." She nodded, accepting his apology. This was a little strange for her also. After the divorce they had had very limited contact. Portia sighed and braced herself for Tommy's anger. He had always flown off the handle at the slightest provocation.

"Hunter's back in town Tommy. I think he still blames you." Their eyes connected for the first time in forever and they were both hurtled back into the past. Portia left a few minutes later, having told him the limited amount she knew and he thanked her, his sincerity surprising her.

.

He walked into the bedroom and Jude straightened up from her position on the bed. He was disappointed to see she had gotten dressed and he could see the questions in her eyes she did not voice. He sat on the edge of the bed and stroked the hair out of her face.

"So what did Portia want?" She finally asked, since he wasn't being forthcoming. Tommy stared at a spot behind her, losing himself in the painful memories.

"Jude there are things I've never told anyone about." He hesitate for a moment before continuing. "Things from my past that I'm afraid might hurt you." When he didn't continue she grew agitated, hating how much it bothered her that he wouldn't tell her anything.

"Tell me Tommy, stop protecting me like I'm still sixteen. I can't be with you if you can't treat me like an adult." She stood up abruptly and made the movement to walk away from him. In his heart he knew he should let her, he destroyed the ones he loved, but he could not let her leave and his hand reached blindly for hers.

"What if it's not you I'm protecting Jude?" His eyes were haunted as she stared down into their depths. She sat back down and took his face in her hands.

"What happened?"

"Angie." She flinched at the name. Was she the one who Kwest had said Tommy cared about and had hurt badly? "Hunter's her brother."

"Tell me." She said softly, the love shining in her eyes undoing him completely. "Were you in love with her?" Jude managed to ask, even though she dreaded the answer. She was still young enough to want no emotional baggage between them, wanting to be the only one he ever loved. What if he said yes? What if he still was?

"Jude...It was a long time ago." Her eyes were clear and searching as they stayed locked on one another. He finally started, his voice hollow and detached as if he was trying to shut his emotions off as he spoke.

He told her how he had met Angie, one of the Boyz back up singers and been instantly attracted to her beauty and apparent joie de vivre. He had never had as strong of a reaction as he had had to her. Of how she had fought against wanting him, but in the end had given in to her feelings after he had courted her relentlessly. She had been the toughest conquest he had ever had, but it had more than just physical. Of how he had cheated on Portia with her and not really cared that he could be hurting her. That he had believed for the first time that he was in love. And that at the end he had chosen Portia, unable to leave the only life he knew and the accompanying fame, instead of running off with Angie like he had promised.

"I told her I wasn't going to run away with her and she was hurt. She took off in my car. That was the last time I saw her. I was cocky, selfish, and eighteen. I was too young to know shit about love. I know now I didn't deserve her." He said eighteen as if it was a bitter taste in his mouth. Is that how he really felt about her age? Was _she_ still too young? Was he telling her he didn't trust her feelings for him? The blood was pulsing through her veins so hard she felt almost lightheaded.

"I've got news for you Quincy. You're still an arrogant ass." Jude said angrily as she stood up to run. His head whipped to hers as he realized what he had said.

"Jude!" She took off like a shot out of the room before he could stop her. He barely made the doorway when he heard the slamming of the front door.


	33. Chapter 29 part 2

**Chapter 29- Part 2**

There was only the briefest hesitation in his mind before his instincts took over to go after her. Hunter was out there somewhere, maybe staking out his apartment for all he knew and he had to protect the person he loved more than anything, no matter how he felt about her sudden departure. He had a strong hunch on where he would be able to find her since she had admitted the apartment she had just left had become her refuge. She probably wouldn't go home either in the agitated state she was in, not wanting to alarm her dad. That really left only one place he could think of, so he drove slowly to the other side of town, giving her a little time to cool down. Predictably her car was at the curb and he breathed a sigh of relief, knowing where she was. He knew his girl too well; if he left it too long her thoughts would simply spin out of control and her emotions along with them.

**

She looked up from the queen sized bed, SME had recently added to the furniture of the room claiming sometimes they needed a place to crash, as he stepped in. In her lap was her guitar although she had not figured through her muddled thoughts enough to play it yet. She held it in front of her as if it would offer her protection or was that comfort? He could not miss the telltale red of her eyes and nose and hated how he had hurt her again.

"You can't just take off like that Jude." He was letting the exasperation win, now that he knew she was still safe.

"Why did you come back Tommy?" Jude asked him wearily, so unlike the vibrant young woman she normally was. She was so tired of loving him like this, waited so long and feeling like he was handing her heart back to her as if it wasn't worthy. So many thoughts raced through her mind she felt like she had taken one too many Red Bulls, unable to focus on any one detail. He had valued that Angie had not fallen into his bed. That made her doubt even that small piece of their history that she had thought was good. And to know he was still thinking about his old girlfriend, his first love, she wasn't the first woman who would have had a problem with that. She remembered the extreme moodiness the days before her sixteenth birthday perfectly, when he had held Angies' necklace in his hands, just like she remembered every interaction with the man in front of her. She had been walking on eggshells since he returned to town, dreading or was it expecting that he would suddenly take it all back. Abandonment issues? Oh no not Jude who'd had one person after another leave her. He of course had been the hardest blow; the one who she had needed the most. She closed her eyes and tried to figure out what it was she wanted. And she found herself, something perhaps she hadn't necessarily been able to do when he had left for New York.

"You know why." Her eyes lifted to look into his face, jarred out of her reverie by his voice. For a second she had forgotten the question, but then it came back to her. She didn't know if she could fight his preconceived notions of them, of her, of everything, but she needed to try.

"I thought I did... But you still see me as a that kid you didn't want to want. I can't be her anymore..." He flinched. Is that how she really thought he had seen her? Is that how she thought he felt about her? Then had it really been a wonder that she had that wariness in her eyes.

"Jude there are things about me you don't know." He repeated the same words he had said to her before, telling her that he still had them on his mind.

"Then tell me." He didn't speak, but he finally had to look up at the penetrating gaze she directed at him. "If we're going to work out you have to trust me. You have to believe that... Are you still in love with her?" She didn't know... As if this situation wasn't hard enough. He had always assumed Kwest had told her, since they had gotten so close after he had left. How do you tell the woman you love about the old love that you destroyed so callously, for purely selfish reasons? How do you begin? And how can you not speak when she looks at you like you are her world, her everything? She believes in you when you never thought anyone would again.

"Jude...Angie's dead. She's been gone for five years. And I killed her." Her eyes widened impossibly as she absorbed his statement. Dead? She had been jealous of a dead girl? Her mind dismissed his confession in a split second; no matter his temper Tommy would never physically hurt a woman. Her gaze was unwavering as she waited for him to fill in the details that would make this all make sense. He was too keyed up to sit, instead pacing a step one way and then pivoting back, running his hands through his un-styled hair, her eyes following him. He finally stopped and turned to face her.

"When I said she took off in my car I didn't tell you all of it. I was with Portia at the apartment that night when it came on the news that she had crashed and died on impact." Jude sucked in a quick breath. Of all the things she had expected him to say, this was not one of them. "You see Jude. It was all my fault. If I had stopped her or left with her like I promised...Or if I hadn't chased after her in the first place." He finally sank to the edge of the mattress as if the confession had drained all the life out of him. He buried his head in his hands and his shoulders started to shake. Jude felt her heart breaking for him, guilt at her own childish reaction when he needed her made her hurt that much more. She moved towards him on her knees until she could touch him. When she wrapped her arms around him, he immediately took her by the waist his head burrowing into her chest. When his sobs had slowed she whispered into his hair, so soft without the customary gel. That was one of the things she loved, being there when he had just come out of the shower and had not had time to do his hair. He would let her run her fingers through the thick strands, as her lips would find his neck.

"It wasn't your fault Tommy." When he looked up meeting her gaze, his eyes were glassy, but even now he had refused to let the moisture fall. He would have felt better, but he would not allow himself that luxury. God he was so stubborn, then again so was she. They were more alike than most people would ever see.

"If I had left her alone in the beginning..." Her hand was gentle against his newly shaven cheek.

"It wasn't your fault." She repeated determinedly. "It was a horrible horrible accident, but it wasn't your fault."

"Jude...If I had..." She shook her head firmly.

"No....Listen to me...It wasn't your fault." He tried to speak again, but she silenced his words with her mouth, pressing so tenderly he couldn't help but feel the sentiment she tried to convey with her lips. With all the charged emotion running so heavy between them, it would not simply dissipate on its own, needing a channel to focus on. Instead of anger which had always been Tommy's first instinctual choice he consciously allowed her touch to calm his battered soul. She felt his fingers at the hem of her shirt and lifted her arms, pulling back so he could remove the garment. He worshipped her with his eyes as he removed his own long sleeved tee. He wrapped his arms around her again, needing the feel of her skin against his, his hand resting at the small of her back as his lips touched hers once more. She did not for a moment deny him anything, feeling with an instinct she did not know she possessed that he needed her. He unclasped her bra, letting the garment fall to the sheets, crushing her breasts to his chest.

His mouth found her neck, simply kissing and tasting, so gently she found herself wanting to cry. His hands were tender as he explored her back, fingers drifting below the waistband of her jeans. He removed her remaining garments as she lay back, lifting her hips so he could pull off her tight jeans. He positioned himself between her bent knees staring deep into her eyes. He sank into her so slowly she felt every stretch of muscle as he settled himself inside of her. His body rested on hers as his lips moved to take hers once again. When he finally started to move against her swollen flesh she wrapped her legs around his waist, holding on, anchoring him to her body. With the way he felt at this moment, she overwhelming his senses, he couldn't remember if it had ever really been simply sex between them. She raised her hips to meet his gentle, deep thrusts and his lips found hers drinking her in like a dying man's ambrosia. Their passion built slowly, but fervently until she started to make the little gasps that drove him crazy and signaled her pending release. She had learned the trick of tightening her inner muscles on his down stroke, holding his cock so sweetly he felt the pull throughout his body. Her arms embraced him closer as she felt the tremors that had been building with every thrust begin to reverberate through her lower body. Her nails dug into his back, the sudden shock of pain bringing him over with her.

After their trembling bodies melded together one final time, she let loose for him the tears he had not been able to. Their love making had been healing for him, catharsis for his deep wounds, and he held her as she cried for him, releasing his demons. He wiped them away gently and stared into her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She surprised him. "I shouldn't have run." He wanted to keep the anger that had burned on the way over here, yet how could he blame her? Running was what Tommy Quincy usually did best.

"Jude I've never been good at sharing my life with anyone. And I know the way I explained things came out sounding wrong..." Jude started to automatically protest, wanting to take the blame for not understanding, for not giving him a chance to tell her everything, but he continued. "Maybe it was because I didn't care enough or trust anyone enough. I don't know...

"But for us, I want to be able to do it. I want to try...I need you to be there girl. Even when I try to push you away, because...you are the only thing besides music that has ever been this important to me." She nodded her understanding because the same was true for her as well and she really started to believe again, wholeheartedly, like she had when she had been that girl who's heart had never been crushed by any man. She nodded again emphatically as she touched his face, telling him everything he needed to know with her eyes.

He lowered his head to taste the salty skin of her sweat dampened shoulder, his tongue snaking out, causing her to shiver in response. She felt the throb of his still hard arousal deep within her and could not stop the instinctual rubbing of her lower body against him. His teeth sank into her vulnerable neck and she moaned in answer as he started to suck on the creamy flesh. She was so slight that he had no problem gripping her waist and flipping the both of them so that she straddled him, his erection now seated even deeper with the new angle. The emotional charge they had experience earlier had not been sated by the gentle lovemaking they had shared, so this time would be different. Jude gripped his hips with her thighs, her hands pressed to his shoulders as she started to grind against him.

.

The boys stopped at the peeling painted door, thinking they heard a noise from within, but disregarding it because this ancient building was full of creaks and groans. They were planning to rehearse for the benefit gig Jude had at the Vinyl Palace in a few days before the final practice with her. Spied inserted the key, his eyes cast to the door, so when it swung open he was the only one to miss the spectacle before them. He caught only a glimpse as Kyle covered his mouth with his hand and Wally covered his eyes although neither of them could bear to look away either. Tommy growled deep in his throat as Jude moved above him in a steady rhythm, her breasts bouncing as she gyrated. Tommy's hands went up to grasp her hips as he started to pump upwards meeting her wet heat. Kyle and Wally slowly lowered the hands from Spied's face after his continued struggles, but managed to shove him out the door before he could see more. Jude threw her head back as an exultant cry escaped her wet lips.

"Fuck!" Tommy hollered out, his eyes rolling back as pleasure coursed through him in strong waves. He said it so loudly it had Wally's mouth opening in a quiet gasp causing the two on the bed to look to the doorway in shock. Jude's hands went to cover her chest as Kyle turned away embarrassed, disappearing from view.

"Wally!" Jude's cheeks and chest turned a deep shade of crimson. He managed to tear his gaze away and hurried out the way his bandmates had gone, slamming the door behind him.

"Ohmygod." Jude whispered breathlessly as she crumpled against Tommy in mortification. "I need a new band." She said as she finally lifted her head to stare at him. Her mortified expression had him trying to control the laughter that suddenly came upon him. When he couldn't control it any longer, he was dislodged from her body and she rolled off, shoving against his shoulder before she sat on the bed.

"It's not funny!" Tommy could feel the tears of merriment filling his eyes as she tried to maintain her glare. Jude finally gave up, and rolled her eyes at him.

**

"Wow that makes up for not getting those boob shots at that Bar Mitzvah" Wally said to Kyle at Hospitality as Kwest started opening lunch meat packages to prepare one of his sumo subs.

"Yeah who knew Quincy had that vocal range." Kyle added to the conversation. Kwest eyed the two boys strangely, a feeling of dread creeping into his spine.

"Oh man you missed it. Jude was riding Quincy at the rehearsal space like he was one of those mechanical bulls." Kyle elaborated and Kwest's face actually looked a shade paler. The boys noticed that he did not share their amusement and Wally shrugged at Kyle. He put the meat back in the packages and placed them back in the fridge before he walked away without a word.  
When Kwest started past reception towards his office Sadie called to him from her desk at Reception.

"I thought you were getting something to eat babe."

"I lost my appetite." He mumbled as he turned glazed eyes towards her, before moving on. The images would not go away, even though false, had imprinted themselves on his psyche. Would this imagined trauma scar him for life? Kwest sat back in his chair and closed his eyes trying to meditate the thoughts away, but all he got were more pictures burning into his inner lids.

**

He was nothing if not predictable. Tommy looked at him with a nonchalant expression plastered to his face, hiding the way his heart had sped up at the sight of the man coming into view from his office doorway. He had been the source of his worries in an otherwise great life right now. He was making epic music with his favorite musician. And on a personal note he finally had Jude and had felt no compulsion to keep their relationship hidden again, at least not until he had heard about Hunter. He stepped into the room and grinned at Tommy lightheartedly.

"Hey man welcome back. When did you get back to town?" Tommy played it cool, even though inside he was seething and afraid both at once. They gripped each others hands in greeting as if they were the best of buddies.

"Not that long ago. Thought I'd look up some old friends." Hunter said equally cool, even though his jaw wanted badly to clench underneath the week's growth of hair. Time had been kind to Quincy, enhancing his good looks instead of diminishing them. He was still successful, apparent from the cars he drove and the apartment where he lived. Hunter swore once he found out the truth he would make sure Tommy got what he deserved. He would make him pay and make him hurt, just like he had done to Hunter by ripping away the only person he had valued. The office phone rang at that moment and Tommy answered it, swiveling his chair away from Hunter as he spoke to the person on the other end. Hunter saw the little electronic gadget on the edge of the desk and his hand quickly reached out before Tommy turned back around and hung up. He surreptitiously slid the thin object into his jacket pocket as Tommy focused his attention back on him.

"Anything you need." Tommy offered.

"There is one thing." He cocked an eyebrow, waiting for Hunter to continue. "To bring you down." Tommy's blood turned to ice at the other man's words, that were brimming with anger and barely concealed hatred.

"Look I know that..." Tommy started, but was quickly interrupted.

"I lost everything I love...And everyone. But now I'm going to return the favor. I learned something in prison. Revenge is the best revenge."

"What do you want Hunter?" Tommy said stiffly, his face an implacable mask as terror ran through his body. His thoughts were centered on his girl. Hunter gave him a malevolent smirk as he backed away and finally turned to walk out of the room.

"Tell Jude I said hi." He added before disappearing around the doorway. Tommy's hands tightened into fists his nails digging into his palms at the smug knowing tone. He knew about Jude. Tommy had figured as much from his conversation with Portia, but now the fact had been confirmed. When he had calmed enough to speak again, he stood up and headed for Darius's office. He knocked once before making his way in. Darius looked up from his papers in question.

"D there's a problem. We need to talk." Darius nodded solemnly as he took in Tommy's serious expression.

"Close the door Tommy."

**

"Why do I need a bodyguard?" Jude complained as she looked over the mountain of a man introduced to her by Darius as Big Lou.

"Jude Hunter wants to hurt me and he knows you're the way to do it."

"But it's not like I'm usually ever alone...I mean SME's usually around or I'm with you." Her protest was weaker this time as she stared into his serious eyes.

"Do you trust me?" She nodded immediately.

"Of course."

"Then let him do his job. I need to know you're safe." She bobbed her head reluctantly.

"But what about you Tommy? If you think he's so dangerous." Her concern touched him, but he shook his head.

"I know him Jude. Physically hurting me would never be enough. He wants me to hurt like he does by taking away the one thing I love." She looked so worried at that statement, doubt still lingering in her mind about who Hunter would go after if given the opportunity, he could only pull her into his arms and hold her as Big Lou looked on. The large man did not show his surprise, at the man he had known back when he had been barely more than a boy, holding her as if she was precious.

**

Jude sang the finals lyrics of the night, ending with a song she thought Tommy would appreciate. And the notes drifted away in the packed club, giving way to the noise of all the fans who had come to see her.

_Time to be your 21_

Although she was not twenty one yet, the song had a double meaning for the both of them. She bowed once to heavy applause and made her way off the stage via the side exit. Their time had finally come after years of not being a true couple and her spirits were soaring as she handed her guitar to one of the stagehands. She was riding high on adrenalin and she would be riding a gorgeous man tonight if things went according to plan. Her lips curved into a knowing little smile as her eyes grew accustomed to the darker area. The show had been awesome and she had gotten to hear Spied perform some of his solo work before she came onstage. Jamie and Kwest had been prodding him to sign on as a solo artist with G-Major for weeks now and after hearing him, Jude had to agree he should go for it.

Her eyes searched the dim backstage lighting for his answering smile, a little disappointed he had not been watching by the stage or been waiting for her. She hadn't seen Tommy at all today, she having a sound check and practice here at the Vinyl Palace right after school and he having to go into G-Major to work. She had been slightly peeved at SME after Kyle and Wally had bowed down to her at G-Major calling themselves humble servants to the Sex Goddess, and actively threw quips her way to try to get her to blush. But once the music had started everything had been good again, at least while they were playing. And she did owe them one for getting Spied out of the room before he had gotten more than a glimpse of her position on top of Tommy. Having her best friend/ex-boyfriend seeing it would have been beyond mortifying, and the fact that he was the biggest perv out there wouldn't have helped.  
Maybe it was kind of pathetic, but she already missed Tommy. They had decided he would just meet her here after he was done mixing a song for one of his other artists instead of having Jude drive back across town just to spend a couple of hours with him. He had promised to take her out after this benefit for the Toronto Area Teen Halfway House she had set up with the help of Ian and Sadie. Big Lou walked up to her and she looked at him in puzzlement. Maybe he had gone off to talk to someone was all she could figure. Or maybe he was in her dressing room waiting for her. Hmm a dressing room, oh the possibilities.

"Have you seen Tommy?" Jude asked just in case as they strode towards the hallways.

"He never showed tonight." Jude stopped abruptly causing him to draw up short also, as the techies had to skirt by them. She swiveled her head towards him as the worst scenarios started to invade her brain.

"What?!" Dread was making its way up her spine. Tommy would never have missed the show willingly. He had promised he'd be there and he loved watching her perform. Her eyes were huge as she stared at Big Lou who's normally mild expression had darkened. Their thoughts mirrored one another. Where was Tommy?


	34. Chapter 30

_I just wanted to say thank you so much to the people who have taken the time to review and to those who have PM'd me. I'm so glad people are still interested. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 30**

Jude made her way back to the dressing room as quickly as she could Big Lou on her heels, ducking past workers packing up for the night, barely noticing the startled glances they shot her way. She reached for her cell phone to see if he had called, but grew more anxious when she found no new messages. Tommy would have called wouldn't he? She speed dialed his number and started to pace the small room, unconsciously gnawing on a nail as she waited for him to pick up.

.

Tommy ran down the stairs and out of G-Major. Shit his girl was going to kill him! He had lost track of time in the studio. He usually had his Blackberry set to remind him of the time, but he had misplaced it somewhere the other day. As he drew towards the Viper, he noticed the front right tire and swore. He examined it, but found no obvious damage to the rubber. He walked around the car to check the other tires, but there was only the one flat. Tommy reluctantly hurried back into G-Major, letting himself back in with the key card, since he had been the only one left in the building.

.

"Tommy!" Jude said in exasperated relief as the other line was picked up.

"Hello Jude." The voice was pleasant enough as if he simply wanted to chat, but it wasn't Tommy's voice and her blood ran cold. "Tom's a little busy right now, but I'm sure he'd love to see you." Hunter grinned broadly as he watched Tommy leaning against the hood of his Viper waiting for the tow truck.

"Where..." Jude swallowed hard and tried again. "Where is he?"

"Meet us at the rehearsal space in half an hour. And don't even think about calling the cops. Lover boy won't appreciate it if you do." The menace in his tone was unmistakable or was that her imagination running on overdrive?

"I can't...There's a bodyguard with me."

"I know. That pissed me off. I really wanted to talk to you again. Anyway you're a smart girl. Get rid of him and come alone." He hung up then, the sudden dial tone causing her to jump. Jude's eyes searched the room, as if she would find answers there. Her gaze fell on the sunglasses left on the vanity table, desperation had her mind hurling useless ideas at her, until she breathed in and settled on one. Jude grabbed her bag from the couch and put her things in it, purposefully leaving one item out. She closed the door behind her and smiled at Big Lou.

.

"Tommy wasn't feeling good so he went home to rest." Big Lou nodded, and she searched his face not seeing any suspicion on his large features. They started down the hallway and when they reached the backstage area, Jude stopped abruptly.

"Damn."

"What's wrong?" Jude sighed in frustration, trying to do the best acting job of her life.

"I left my sunglasses in the dressing room." He chuckled.

"That's it?" Jude looked down at the high heeled black leather boots she had been wearing all night.

"Could you get them please? My feet are killing me."

"Jude you know I'm not supposed to leave you." Jude looked around at all the crew still working.

"There's no way Hunter would try anything in here. There are tons of people around. I'll be fine." Big Lou did not budge, so she pouted a little. It worked with Tommy anyway. "Please..." He sighed and nodded.

"Stay right here in the lights Jude and scream if anyone tries anything." She nodded and watched him lumber away. As soon as he turned the corner she darted for the back exit, running smack into someone. Jude looked up into familiar brown eyes.

"Jamie...Hi."

"Hi Jude. I came to see Spied perform." She nodded, her eyes darting nervously around. "You were good." And her heart softened a little towards him. They had been friends for such a longtime it was hard to accept the distance that now separated them. It almost felt like two acquaintances that were forced to make small talk, rather than two people who used to spend practically every day together.

"Thanks." She said distractedly as she turned her head to glance quickly behind her. "I...um I need to go." Jamie could tell something was off with her, but he was not a close part of her life anymore and had no idea what was going on. "See you later." She called as she pushed open the emergency doors with a bang.

"Hey I thought you had a bodyguard?" He asked loudly to be heard above the noise of everyone around them. Darius had told the staff Jude might have a stalker, so extra muscle had been hired as a simple and effective deterrent. She did not answer as she hurried to her Mustang.

**

Although she had barreled her way over here, afraid she would be late in the night traffic of downtown, she stood hesitantly in front of the door, her hand poised to knock. Should she just go in? Was Tommy okay? He had to be okay. The choice was taken out of her hands when the door swung open to reveal the handsome man who had been waiting for her. He nodded into the room and she walked past him, he shutting the door with a soft click. Jude's eyes scanned the room rapidly, missing the person she had come for. She whirled to face Hunter, realization dawning that she was in trouble. Until this point the only thing on her mind had been getting to Tommy in time.

"Where is he?" She asked shakily as fear started to take a hold of her vocal chords. Hunter shrugged like he didn't have a care in the world.

"You know I'm not sure. I'm guessing he's figuring out you're missing." Oh God. Realization crashed down upon her. How could she have been so stupid? Tommy in danger had blinded her to everything else of course, but now that she knew he wasn't here, the situation sank in with blinding fear. She backed up to put more distance between them. "But don't worry I'll call him soon. Why don't you sit down." He gestured to a chair with the large serrated hunting knife in his hand, which she had not noticed until that very moment. She did as she was told, her eyes not leaving his face for a second.

Hunter paced the room like a caged bear and her eyes followed him as the knife swung in his hand. Tommy was coming and Jude was not sure if she was glad. She jumped in her chair when he stopped and pivoted towards her.

"Why are you doing this?" She was genuinely curious. Tommy wasn't truly responsible for Angie's death.

"Did he tell you about my sister?"

"Angie." She nodded as she said the long dead girl's name and his eyes widened with interest.

"Really? What did he say? That she shouldn't have taken their relationship so seriously? That she misunderstood him when he promised to be with her forever?" The tint of anger colored his words in a way that made a trickle of fear run along Jude's spine. Hunter looked at the girl more closely, contemplatively. "You know originally I thought he was amusing himself with you, especially when I saw your sister kiss him." He paused for effect, noticing the involuntary flinch of her taut shoulders. "Oh he didn't tell you about that...Interesting. For a second I thought he was using both of you. I mean come on, two hot sisters, totally Tommy's style, but no he was only into you. I still can't believe he pushed her away like she was the plague." Hunter studied her face and body, making Jude even more uncomfortable under his intense scrutiny. "What makes you so special? Tommy wouldn't even leave Portia and Boyz Attack for my sister who he claimed to love. What makes you better than Angie?" She flinched when his index finger glided along her soft cheek. Of course she was afraid, but her head raised to meet his gaze defiantly anyway.

"Why are you doing this?" Jude repeated. Tommy had explained what had happened all those years ago, but she wanted Hunter's point of view. To her it had seemed like a horrible unfortunate twist of fate.

"I want him to pay for ruining her life. She was the only family I had left."

"It was an accident." Hunter was about to respond when the sound of the freight elevator stopping in the hallway drew their attention to the door.

.

Tommy came in to a scene that would live in his memories forever. Hunter hovered behind Jude's chair grinning at him his free hand holding Jude's arm tightly. The terror in her eyes, made all of Tommy's worst instincts come out. He wanted to tear the other man limb from limb for daring to touch his girl, but the wrong move would get her hurt or even killed.

"Do you know what it feels like when a woman you love suffers? You're about to find out." He held the flat of the blade pressed against her cheek; with one tiny turn the razor sharp metal would mar her face. She tried desperately not to flinch at the cold material pressed to her skin. He straightened up suddenly and moved in front of her.. "Unless you want to tell Jude what happened to my sister." Tommy's eyes met with hers, confirmation that she was still okay.

"I already know. He broke her heart. But he didn't make her crash that car." Her voice was soft, but solid. Hunter was furious as he swung his head around to Jude.

"Why would he tell you?" He started to reach for her again and Tommy grabbed his arm unthinking, causing Hunter to swing around with the knife still firmly in his hand catching Tommy's forearm with a slash. Jude muffled a scream her hands going to her mouth in horror as Tommy backed away with his palms up in a unthreatening calming gesture. Tommy was desperate to focus the attention back to himself, afraid of what he would do to her.

"Just let Jude go. She had nothing to do with this."

"Angie...Was supposed to spend the rest of her life with you. Not her!" He waved the knife at Jude, droplets of blood spraying to the floor.

"She was wrong." Tommy's voice was soft and tormented drawing the man's gaze back to him again.

"You used her. You broke her heart. So she killed herself." His voice was bitter and full of loathing.

"Hunter it's... complicated."

"Complicated? Complicated?!" He cocked his head back and called to her. "Hey Jude you ever hear that line before?" Tommy chose that minute to try and disable the other man, but Jude's sudden indrawn breath warned Hunter. Tommy's aching arm had slowed him, just enough to let the other man get the upper hand. Hunter fisted his hand into Tommy's shirt and held the knife threateningly near his face as he shoved him hard against the wall. Jude heard the thud of skull connecting with plaster and winced. Tommy was disoriented for a second before he recovered, Hunter still holding the blade against his shoulder.

"Okay, okay." Hunter let go of his shirt, sensing he would finally hear the truth and took a step back. "I told her I wasn't going to run away with her. And she was hurt... She took my car keys and I didn't stop her when she drove away. And the next thing I heard she was dead." Torment filled the troubled man's eyes. His baby sister who used to look up to him, used to trust him to protect her from bullies and watch out for her. Gone so senselessly because she had fallen for the wrong man. This man who hadn't deserved her or any of the women who had ever loved him.

"It wasn't his fault she died." Her voice was shaky, but clear, the unexpected sound surprising both men. When Hunter met her eyes she spoke again. "It wasn't your fault either. You couldn't protect her from living her life." Hunter was almost blinded with fury, the roaring in his head strong. It had to be somebody's fault, her life could not have been snuffed out without reason. He saw the man through a red haze and made a menacing sound low in his throat. His hand raised, waving the wicked blade in his hand.

"Why? Why did you do it?" Tommy's eyes connected with Jude again and their silent communication was missed by the emotional Hunter. She didn't dare move too suddenly, but knew it was up to her to do something. Tommy knew he had to make Hunter even angrier, it would make him sloppier and distract him at the same time.

"Because...I wanted to be a star. And Angie was in my way." That was the hard truth that he had not even been able to admit to himself never mind Jude.

"You...poor...dead...bastard." With that Hunter aimed his weapon at Tommy, slashing it through the air. Tommy jumped back, but not far enough and he heard the sound of ripping fabric. Hunter started the forward motion to lunge at him, but crumpled to the floor instead. Jude held Kyle's bass guitar in her hands, the strings the only thing holding up one half. Tommy was slightly bemused she had hit Hunter so hard that she had managed to break the musical instrument. Their eyes caught and he rushed to her as she dropped the bass to the floor before she was enveloped in his arms. When they pulled apart she looked to his chest and saw the warm liquid soaked through. Her eyes looked impossibly big in her delicate face.

"You're bleeding." Why was it some wounds did not hurt until your attention was brought to them? He felt the harsh pain as soon as his gaze traveled down to his chest.

**

Sadie rushed ahead of Kwest through the sterile hallway until they saw Jude pacing in front of the emergency room doors.

"Are you okay?" Sadie called anxiously before they had even made it half way down, noticing the dark stain on her sister's top. Jude nodded, but said nothing. As they reached her Sadie held her arms out, but her sister ignored her gesture, moving past her into Kwest's arms, who held her tightly giving his girlfriend a puzzled look which she returned.

"How is he?" Kwest asked.

"I don't know. I think he's okay." His wounds had bled, but it had seemed to slow by the time she had used one of the spare t-shirt's Spied kept at the space, to staunch the flow of blood. "They won't tell me anything though." Sadie walked behind Kwest and reached her hand out to touch Jude's arm, but she flinched away pulling Kwest with her. Jude stared at her sister with carefully blank eyes, that Sadie had never known her to be capable of.

"Did you know Hunter was following Tommy around? He stopped at a bar after work a few weeks ago." Sadie looked at her sister her eyes frozen. "Tell me it's not true and I'll believe you Sadie. You're my sister." Sadie could not speak only stare at the dry eyed somber gaze of Jude, who looked older than her years in that instant. In her lack of response was the answer Jude had not wanted to be true. "You need to go Sadie."

"What?" Kwest said at the same time Sadie said "Jude." She did not elaborate, only staring past Kwest's shoulder into the blue eyes of her horrified sister. Sadie nodded once tearfully and started to walk away.

"Sadie." Kwest called turning to go after her, but she turned and gestured for him to stop.

"Stay with Jude she needs you. I'll see you at home."

"What the hell was that about?" Kwest asked without heat. He was such a great guy, how could Sadie do what she did to all of them?

"You'll have to ask her." Jude said a little bitterly, burrowing her head into his chest. She looked up again a moment later to see Darius, Portia, Ian and JP headed towards them at a quick pace. Jude figured everyone who was coming was now here and finally launched into the events of the night. Her glance kept going to the 'Do Not Enter' doors as she told her tale and when she was done Ian enveloped her in a hug next. She was too frazzled to notice Portia's mini breakdown and Darius taking her to one side, speaking to her softly.

**

Jude was the last to see Tommy since she had no plans on leaving him that night. The rest of them had gone home when the doctor had informed everyone that Tommy would be fine. He had gotten off light, but they still wanted to keep him for the rest of the night for observation since he had come in with a concussion. He had needed stitches where Hunter had slashed him across the ribs and cut him on the arm, but thankfully neither wound had been too deep. She let herself in and closed the door behind her with a small smile on her face. He looked tired and there were dark shadows under his eyes, but no one would allow him to sleep.

"Hey." She sat down in the visitor's chair beside him and placed her hand on his. He gave her a slightly dopey grin and she wondered what kind of meds they had given him.

"You're beautiful." She certainly didn't feel it, his blood matting her shirt, her hair tangled, dried sweat clinging to her skin and her makeup mostly gone. They couldn't speak, the pent up emotion overwhelming the both of them. His hand wrapped around the back of her neck, simply cradling it for a moment before he pulled her head down to meld his lips to hers. Their mouths molded together, shifting, adjusting, but mostly healing. Jude pulled back finally, warmed by his hand engulfing hers.

"Why didn't you tell me Sadie tried to kiss you?" He froze at the unexpected question, not really caring how she had found out.

"She's your sister babe..." Her eyes weighed him and the ache in his ribs was nothing compared to the fear at her reaction.

"Did you want to kiss her back?"

"Jude!" She blinked at him, trying to keep her lips from curving, but he still saw the twinkle in her eyes. "That's not funny!"

"A little?"

"No." He linked his fingers through hers and stared deep into her eyes. "I have never been as terrified as I was tonight."

"Me either." And then their lips met again a little desperately this time, clinging together as if at any moment they would be pulled apart and they almost had been. Tommy tensed suddenly and pulled away from her searching mouth. He had felt the bandage at her wrist, half hidden underneath her long sleeves.

"How did this happen?" He asked holding her arm tenderly, and yet she still winced. He pushed up her sleeve to reveal the dark bruises marring her skin in the shape of fingers squeezing too tightly.

"I'm fine." She said soothingly, but he was not convinced. He dropped her arm as if burned, his eyes closing in silent agony. He always hurt the ones he cared about the most. "I shouldn't have come back. He would never have known about you." She touched his cheek and he flinched away from her warmth, until she grasped his head with her uninjured arm.

"Tommy he knew. Why do you think he showed up before you were even back in town? He said he broke into your apartment and found pictures." He unlaced his fingers from hers and drew his hand to his side, clenched in a fist.

"Maybe you should go home." His pale eyes had grown cold and shuttered as he looked at her now. Jude stood and backed up a step in astonishment. She could not take in the words coming from his lips. "I'm tired anyway. I'll see you at work." She balled her hands into fists, squeezing convulsively as she struggled for calm in the silent hospital, except for the occasional beeping of machines muffled by the walls. Screw it. She was not sixteen anymore, in awe of her boyfriend, afraid to drive him away by saying the wrong thing, making the wrong move.

"What was all that shit about trying for 'us' huh? Why say it if you didn't mean any of it?" Tommy's mouth was open in astonishment. His chest ached where he had been sliced and his head throbbed as if an anvil had fallen on it and here she was hands on hips yelling at him? She was glorious in her fury, blond hair wildly framing her face like a nimbus cloud. He had to appreciate that, even though her annoyance usually sparked something similar in him. Tonight though he was too tired to fight. She took his wrist in a hard grip, although they both knew he could have broken it easily if he had wanted, but he was strangely fascinated with what she would say next. "You...are...not...going to give up on us. I love you! And you said you loved me!" She said through gritted teeth as her eyes shown with a bright intensity. "Well aren't you going to say anything?!" She practically shouted when he kept looking at her with that stupid expression on his face.

"You are so fucking sexy when you're mad." Her mouth fell open as she gaped at him in disbelief. He had just been stabbed, okay more like sliced, but still...He was in the hospital for heaven's sake and if that knife had been met him a centimeter over...The doctor had said there would have been no rib to protect him. And just like that she was tempted to hit him, despite his injuries; to make him hurt like he was trying to hurt her. But then she deflated suddenly, the entire night finally catching up with her, her eyes filling as she stared at him and his face grew serious again as he took her hand and pulled her down to sit beside him. He cradled her against him.

"I'm sorry I'm so stupid." He murmured against her neck.

"God Quincy if you say one more bad thing about yourself..." She warned. She wished he could see himself as she saw him. He was a good person, but never seemed to believe it.

"What will you do?" The glint was back in her eyes and he was so relieved he knew he hadn't meant a word of his halfhearted attempt to warn her away. He couldn't imagine a day of his life without her in it anymore and that should have scared him. Anyone who knew him would have laughed if they had heard Tommy Quincy and commitment in the same sentence.

"No more sleepovers." And he thought for a moment that his heart had stopped.

"You wouldn't." She simply looked at him with her penetrating gaze that said 'try me' and he was in no condition to chase her down and make her submit. "I'm an injured man baby....Who's going to take care of me?"

"You." She punctuated every word with a brush of her lips to his. "are...not...sexy...when...you...pout."

"Lie down with me." She climbed in gingerly beside him, careful not to brush his chest. She rested her head against his shoulder and learned to breath normally again.

"Remind me I need to replace Kyle's bass. The damn thing made me sprain my wrist." He laughed in spite of the somber day and groaned as his stitches stretched.

"No jokes." She cocked her head up at him, seeing he was giving her his little boy smile.

"Okay."


	35. Chapter 31 part 1

_The music in this is Crazy Faith by Allison Kraus. I love to hear your reviews. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 31 -Part 1**

Jude stayed awake with Tommy the entire night. At somewhere around four o'clock she found inspiration in the form of loopy energy running through her at being overtired. The need to tell Tommy how she saw him overwhelmed her and she went out into to the nurses station to borrow some paper and a pen.

He simply watched her, she sitting on the visitors chair with one leg tucked underneath her as she hummed and scratched messy lyrics onto the page. She would not show him what she worked on, but he still watched her bemusedly, never tiring from seeing her beautiful face scrunched in concentration.

**

"I'll be five minutes." Jude said before she shut the driver's door of her Mustang which Ian and JP had thoughtfully driven over to the hospital for her. She was going to have to do something for them soon. Darius's present for her sophomore album release had been to restore the old car she had bought with father, daughter bonding in mind. It had been a great surprise and now she alternated between her Skyline and the Mustang and once in a while the Porsche. She hadn't brought up the Viper to Tommy yet, biding her time. She hurried towards her house and entered quickly. Tommy put his head back on the headrest and closed his eyes, knowing she easily lost track of time. He couldn't wait to sink into his thick mattress with his girl in his arms. They had both stayed up for too many hours to count and the only good thing that had come from it was a new song, that Jude assured him was good. Maybe he could stay awake long enough to hear it before he crashed.

Tommy's eyes flew open when he heard the tap at the window. Stuart Harrison stood outside of the car staring down at him with a serious look on his face. Tommy got out of the care reluctantly, the motion causing a slight pounding in his battered head.

"You're looking a bit rough there Tom. Jude called last night and told me what happened."

"Look Stuart I'm sorry I ever put Jude in danger. I would do anything to keep her from getting hurt." The other man surprised Tommy by putting a hand on his shoulder.

"No more murderous nut jobs in the woodwork right?" Tommy gave a rueful laugh.

"No Stuart."

"Are you alright? Is Jude? I know what Jude said, but I'd like to hear it from you."

"I'll be okay. Just dead tired. They wouldn't let me sleep. Jude is okay physically, but I don't know about emotionally." Stuart nodded.

"I'm glad you're alright. You feel up to dinner on Friday? I haven't really seen much of my daughters now that they're both involved. I'd like to catch up."

"Yeah I should be fine in a couple of days."

"Good. I'm going to go in. I'll kick Jude out for you. Seven o'clock?"

"That's fine with me. Thanks Stuart."

"For what?" The other man looked a little puzzled, a look of concern still clear on his face.

"For understanding." Stuart nodded solemnly and said his goodbyes before heading down the walk to the front door.

**

_　I lit my love and watched it burn  
Asking nothing in return  
Except the lessons I will learn  
By holding crazy faith_

_ I've been touched by that bright fire  
Down to the root of my desire  
While the smoke it rises higher  
On crazy faith_

You're not asking if I love this man  
I know you don't, you don't believe you can  
Yet I've seen love open like a dancer's fan  
It's crazy I know  
But my faith says so, it tells me

Am I a fool for hanging on?  
Would I be a fool to be long gone?  
When is daylight going to dawn  
On my crazy faith?

The questions will not let me sleep  
Answers buried way too deep  
At the bottom of a lover's leap  
Made by crazy faith

You're not asking if I love this man  
I know you don't, you don't believe you can  
Yet I've seen love open like a dancer's fan  
It's crazy I know, but my faith says so  
It tells me

Love your losing, lose your love  
Let the hawk fly from the glove  
Then do not search the skies above  
Search your crazy faith

Love is lightning, love is ice  
It only strikes the lucky twice  
Once, so you will know the price  
And once for crazy faith

You're not asking if I love this man  
I know you don't, you don't believe you can  
Yet I've seen love open like a dancer's fan  
It's crazy I know,  
But my faith says so

Her hand silenced the reverberation of the strings and she looked at him expectantly. His opinion had always been the most important to her, not even Darius could change that.

"Are you going for the most eclectic album of the year?" The light did not drain from her eyes at his words, because she could see the truth written into his pale blue ones. After everything that had happened, he had not quite believed she didn't blame him for the danger she had been put in. He had half believed she should blame him as he blamed himself. So she had had to beat him over the head with her unwavering love.

**

Although Tommy and Jude expected to be bombarded by press at any moment, except for the normal interest by the paparazzi, the time never came. Surprisingly at least to them the story was never found out by the paparazzi courtesy of Darius who had used every connection at his disposal to bury it deep, like other things from Tommy's past. Of course little did they know he had his own reasons for not wanting the events brought to light.

**

This dinner was so different from the last time they had gotten together it was almost laughable. Jude and Tommy arrived after Sadie and Kwest first of all. Once the second couple got there the mood become uncomfortable and a bit chilly. Jude avoided her sister's eyes while trying to act normally with Kwest and their father. Once they sat down, the conversation which had flowed freely last time was now stilted and laughter rarely heard.

"This chicken is great Stuart." Tommy commented as he took another bite of the white meat in a light white wine sauce. Jude and Sadie both knew there were only a few dishes Stuart could actually cook, but he did cook them exceptionally well.

"Thank you Tom. It's actually much easier than it looks. I tried to teach Jude once, but that apparently was a bad idea. To this day I don't know how she managed to get the outside perfectly done only to have the inside be completely raw." Even the laughter sounded forced to Kwest and he could only wonder at the reason behind it.

Kwest had always been observant to interactions between people, and even if he hadn't he couldn't ignore the tension between the sisters and between Sadie and Tommy. Sadie refused to look at either person sitting across from them, Jude only glared when she glanced at her sister at all and Tommy looked through Sadie.

"Well you guys ready for coffee and dessert?" Stuart sat back satisfied that his daughters and their significant others were all fine. When Jude had called the other night he had seriously considered telling her to come straight home and have nothing to do with Tommy again. But common sense prevailed, knowing his younger daughter was stubborn and loyal to a fault. And Tommy did try to take care of her, even though she didn't seem to realize it.

Sadie sprang up immediately as if seared by a hot poker. The tension and guilt were eating away at her nerves even though she was normally an unflappable person.

"Let me dad. You did all the work." She volunteered and was already gathering the plates before anyone could stop her. Kwest started to stand too, but she shook her head at him, leaving him puzzled. Sadie disappeared into the kitchen while Stuart asked Tommy how he thought Jude's album was coming along.

"I'm going to help Sadie." Jude said interrupting Stuart mid-question, standing up and Tommy looked over at her in concern.

"You sure that's a good idea?" He asked cryptically.

"She's my sister. We have to talk someday." They both knew Kwest and Stuart's eyes were on them and did not say more. Tommy let her go reluctantly as she stacked the rest of the dirty dishes and headed after Sadie.

.

Sadie had just pushed the button to the coffeemaker when she heard someone behind her.

"Geez dad did you use all of the pans?" She called over her shoulder as she got smaller dishes out for the angel food cake Stuart had planned to serve with fresh strawberries and fresh whipped cream, knowing Jude had a weakness for the red fruit.

"It's not dad." Jude said quietly as she placed the dirt dishes on the counter next to the sink. Sadie turned suddenly and looked straight into her sister's clear angry eyes.

"Jude...Look I meant to call, but I didn't think you'd want to hear from me."

"You're right I didn't. How can you stand there and pretend everything's alright?"

"Jude I'm sorry. It was a mistake. I had too much to drink and..." Jude interrupted her, letting the anger at her sister take over.

"I just want to know why. You have Kwest and even if you didn't you can get any guy you want. Why did you have to go after my boyfriend?!"

"I wanted him first." The words popped out before she could stifle them. Honesty was not always a good thing.

"Oh my God! How old are you!" It was strange to Jude how her older sister could revert to being so immature all of a sudden.

"No Jude. It wasn't even about Tommy, not really. You and Kwest kept everything from me! You both lied to my face!"

"It wasn't about you!" As the sister's argument grew louder, one of the men went in to investigate and since Stuart was still talking Tommy's ear off Tommy wasn't able to stop him. "A mistake? What did you accidentally trip onto my boyfriend's lips?!"

"That's what this is all about?" The guilty glances, the cold glares all of it made sense now. Their heads both whipped to the doorway where Kwest stood. "Is that what you wanted me to ask Sadie about Jude?" No wonder Jude had been so cold to Sadie at the hospital; to find out while being held captive that her sister had betrayed her on top of not knowing whether or not Tommy would be okay. "Could you leave us alone?" He asked Jude who had already started towards him, while Sadie could only stare at the tile floor, her world crashing around her. Jude put a hand on his arm before she left them.

"Kwest Tommy had nothing to do with it. Hunter told me that." Kwest nodded, knowing she wouldn't be with Tommy right now if he had done something to betray her trust. "Are you okay?" He shook his head.

"I need to talk to her though." Jude nodded and walked back into the dining room.

.

Sadie sat in the living room with a blanket wrapped around her pajama clad body as she sipped some hot chocolate and brooded as she stared at the blank TV screen. Kwest had gone back to the apartment without her and Jude had gone home with Tommy, which apparently was what she usually did on weekends.

"Hey kiddo. Do you need to talk?" Stuart came in and sat down beside her on the couch. Sadie sighed and turned her red eyes towards her father. He gave a small laugh as he noticed what she held in her hand. "You always drank hot chocolate to make yourself feel better." Sadie nodded and smiled at him sadly.

"I really screwed up this time dad. Jude's mad at me and Kwest...I think he's going to break up with me."

"What happened?" She told him the short sad tale and he sighed heavily. "Well Jude is your sister. She will forgive you eventually. You know she never holds a grudge. I can't say about Kwest though."

"I know...I just wish..."

"Let me ask you this hon. If Jude had been involved with someone else besides Little Tommy Q, would you have been this upset about her and Kwest withholding it from you?" The truth hit her harder than she expected. Was Sadie Harrison addicted to winning? She had always had a driving need to be the best and never really lost out to anyone until now. Maybe deep down it came to a lack of self esteem, not that she would ever admit that. She didn't want to delve into the fact that she measured her self worth by how much a man might want her or how many awards she had won. It hadn't mattered to her that she did not know Tommy as a living breathing human being, just the fact that she had wanted him and Jude had him. Tommy and Jude were in love, and Sadie had not truly appreciated their bond because she had never had her heart broken by any man. She had not understood how much they had invested to be together. Her little sister knew more about being in a real relationship than she did, because Jude had been hurt and had learned from the experience while Sadie hadn't know what it was like to lose someone she was in love with, until now, when it was more than likely Kwest would call everything off.

"I...I'm a horrible person aren't I?" She said in a small voice.

"No. Of course not." Stuart put an arm around her shoulder and drew her in. "But you've always been fiercely competitive. I know I don't say it enough, but I'm proud of you Sadie. You have turned into an amazing woman. Remember that."

**

"Please, please, please." Spied begged on his knees his hands resting in Jude's lap who simply gave him the fisheye.

"No Spied." Jude said firmly, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She stood up suddenly and started to walk away. He was on her heels in an instant.

"I'll be the best backup guitarist in the world. I'll do anything. Please...Just one?"

"It is so not happening! Keep this up and I'm telling Karma." She threatened and it gave him pause for about half a second. Oh it would be totally worth it, he figured.

"It's not fair Jude! Come on Jude Kyle and Wally both said you're a goddess.. There's nothing to be embarrassed about." He wheedled pitifully and when that didn't get a response from her he continued desperation evident in his tone. "It's good for the band!" She rolled her eyes as she continued walking, ignoring him completely. Jude pushed open the women's room door and when Spied looked like he was going to follow her in, he was yanked back by the collar of his t-shirt.

"Wanna tell me what you're doing?" Tommy was used to Jude's close relationship with her friends, but Jude simply looked annoyed at this point and this was definitely crossing the line.

"Er...Um...Hey Tommy. Didn't see ya there." He said nervously as his palms began to get damp.

"What do you want from Jude that you're following her into the bathroom?" He had not let go of Spied's collar.

"I...uh...nothing really..." Kyle and Wally came around the corner laughing at something they had heard on the radio when they spotted Tommy and Spied.

"What's up?" Kyle gave them a quizzical look.

"You know a reason why he would need to follow Jude into the women's room?" Kyle and Wally looked at one another and burst out in laughter.

"I can't believe you actually asked her!" Kyle said between gasps of mirth.

"What are you stupid?" Wally asked next. "You know she doesn't hit like a girl." The girl in question chose that moment to make a reappearance. She took in Tommy and Spied's positions and Tommy finally let him go.

"You know he tried to follow you in there?" Tommy asked as her eyes darkened perceptibly and she crossed her arms over her chest once again.

"Oh really..." Jude made it a statement as her eyes fixed on the fidgeting teenager. Using two fingers she jabbed him, none too gently, in the side in what was usually referred to as a kidney shot. His hands went immediately to shield his vulnerable spot as he let out a strangled yelp. Kyle and Wally were laughing so hard they drew the attention of whatever staff was around towards their little group.

"So were you trying to protect me?" She asked Tommy sweetly as she linked her arm through his and pulled him away from her band.

"I guess you don't need it. What exactly did he want?"

"Oh nothing much, just to see my boobs. He said it wasn't fair that Kyle and Wally got to see them and he missed them." Tommy immediately stopped and turned both of them, leaving Jude to struggle to hold him back with her slight weight. "Babe you're not allowed to kill my band members. I need them remember?"

"But...Jude please?" She burst into a fit of laughter then. "Spied said the same thing to me." She gasped out and he rolled his eyes.

"Can I at least threaten him?"

"Sure. Just don't break his arms or legs."

"I guess I can't blame the poor bastard for wanting to see them." He whispered into her hair as they continued walking. "They're some of my favorite body parts." She smacked his arm and he winced. "What?! It was a compliment!" He said in indignation, but his eyes were gleaming with that fire she knew well.

"You are such a guy!"

"Is that a complaint?"

"God no." She grinned up at him, their minds obviously in sync. "Think D will notice if we sneak out?" She let out a surprised laugh when he started pulling her quickly towards the fire escape door.

**

Tommy looked up from dreaded paperwork at the rap at the door to see his best friend in the doorway. They had not really had much of a chance to talk after the family dinner and he was glad to see Kwest stop in.

"Hey man." Kwest sat down easily and Tommy nodded at him as he put the papers to one side. Kwest reached for the dish full of M&M's and then paused in puzzlement, noticing something was off with them.

"Where are all the green ones?" Tommy smirked and Kwest had a niggling feeling he wasn't going to like the answer.

"You do know what they say about the green ones right?" Kwest pulled his hand back and groaned. Why was it so hard for Fate to understand that he had no interest in their sex life?

"Do I really want to know what happened to them?"

"Jude said she wasn't getting enough sleep at night so she picked 'em out." Ever since they had come home from the hospital Jude had been staying at Tommy's to take care of him or so she told her dad and with Sadie back at home she had tried to stay away as much as possible. And the near death experience had made him even more insatiable, not that Jude had not equaled his ferocity. Would he look like a lunatic if he started banging his head on the hardwood desk? Kwest mused.

"So how you doin man?" Kwest's shrugged as Tommy looked at him somberly. Even Tommy usually self absorbed could tell this thing with Sadie was eating at him. "Have you talked to her since..." Sadie had moved back home and at this point neither of them knew if it should be permanent.

"Not really."

"You need to go out. Take your mind off things. Relax, have some fun." Tommy would have said much more before, but things were different now that he had Jude. Before he would have said Sadie wasn't worth it, that there were plenty more women where she came from, but now he wasn't sure if that was true for Kwest. For Tommy there would never be a replacement for Jude, of that he was positive.

"Actually I'm meeting up with an old friend tonight. She's playing at Paradiso. You busy?"

"I was going to see a movie with Jude, but I can cancel. She'll understand." Kwest gave him an odd look.

"What?"

"One. I can't believe you're the one in a committed semi-normal relationship. That's really just...weird. Two. Jude is welcome to come. We used to hang out before you came back you know? Her life didn't stop when you left."

"Yeah I'm starting to see that. So what time?"

"It starts sometime after eight. You know how that is." Tommy nodded his understanding. Club shows always had a habit of never starting on time, not that people usually seemed to care either. It was usually more time for getting liquor into their systems.

"We'll meet you there."

"Awright." Kwest stood up and they bumped fists before he headed out.

**

"I'll be right back." Jude kissed him quickly and bounded up the stairs, as Tommy settled on the infamous couch, flicking the television on with the remote. She didn't have any clothes at his place that were clean and appropriate for clubbing, so they were making a pit stop before heading out for a bite to eat. Jude emerged from her bedroom five minutes later in a long black and blue swirl designed satin camisole with a midnight blue string tie that wrapped around her waist. She was busy tying the bow when she almost ran over Sadie.

"Oh..." She said in mild surprise. Jude had never been one to hold onto her anger so even though she still had every reason to be mad at Sadie, it had dulled after the heat of the moment.

"Hey..." Sadie said softly and Jude really looked at her for the first time in days. There were bags under her eyes that her skillful application of makeup did not completely hide. She wore yoga pants and a tank top, her hair piled carelessly into a ponytail. Jude could not help the pang of sympathy that overtook her. Sadie was still her sister no matter what. "You going out?" Jude looked down at her outfit of camisole and black skinny jeans.

"Yeah...Um an old friend of Kwest's is playing at a club."

"Oh..." Sadie looked slightly defeated at her boyfriend's name. He was still not ready to speak to her and the waiting was a slow torture.

"I uh need to get going. Tommy's waiting." Sadie nodded and turned to go back to her room. "Sades." She turned back at the old comforting nickname. "Are you okay?" Jude watched her sister shrug halfheartedly.

"You know how it is." Sadie finally empathized with some of what Jude had hidden when Tommy had left. They shared a moment of quiet understanding.

"Yeah." Jude finally whispered, compassion in her eyes. "I can stay if you want." Sadie gave her a wan smile and shook her head.

"Go. There's nothing you can do. Thanks though."

"Okay." Jude nodded once and headed towards the stairs. When she turned back to look Sadie had already gone back into her bedroom and shut the door.


	36. Chapter 31 part 2

_Music is Underneath It All by No Doubt. ENJOY!_

**Chapter 31-Part 2**

The singer was breathtaking, with creamy mocha skin and a wild riot of brown/red hair. In her early twenties, Marise LeBlanc was willowy and graceful up on the stage. She was the new face of reggae and her voice was melodic as she drew the audience in. Tommy had his arms wrapped around Jude as she leaned back against him, both of them swaying to the hypnotizing beat as the woman sang with vibrant energy.

"So where do you know her from?" Tommy shouted towards Kwest, who stood next to them, just as into the beat.

"I vacationed in the Bahamas and she was singing at a tourist club down there." Tommy nodded as they continued to watch the captivating singer.

"Did you guys get together?" Tommy asked curiously, appreciating the woman's exotic beauty even though he had no personal interest in her. Kwest was a gentleman to the core and simply shrugged, but Jude could see the slight hesitation in his dark eyes and wondered if it was an affirmation of his involvement with her. She worried for the briefest moment about Sadie, but the melody drew her in once again and she turned back to the stage. Tommy brushed his lips along Jude's temple when she turned her head to smile at him. They rarely got a chance to go out, spending so much time on her album and she desperately studying for her upcoming final exams, having slacked most of the year.

They stayed until after the show was over, Kwest wanting to catch up and introduce them to Marise. In the meantime Kwest and Tommy discussed whether or not Darius would be interested in Marise and they both came to the conclusion that he would. Her looks alone would have interested the media mogul, since he could sell an image just as well or even better than actual talent. Look how eager he had been to put the talentless Eden Taylor on the cover of Solid instead of Jude, way back when, until Tommy had persuaded him otherwise. They decided to ask if she was interested in cutting a demo with G-Major when they got the chance.

Jude completely missed their conversation. She had her legs propped on a bar stool as she leaned over the counter sideways, scribbling away feverishly on one cocktail napkin after another. The music tonight had been spectacular, earthy and energetic, inspiring her to try something new. Her junior album was a time to explore new sounds and invoke new feelings for her audience and she was not afraid to experiment, now that she had matured enough not to want to be pegged as just a tween idol. She did not hear Kwest yell for her to join them by the stage to meet Marise. Finally the other woman took it upon herself to go over and greet the young blond herself. She was amused because she knew she got exactly the same way when she was making music.

Marise slid on a stool behind her and spoke up.

"I hope it's good." She said in a pleasant lilting Bahamian accent. Jude turned, startled, her feet dropping to the floor. She flushed with embarrassment and Marise simply laughed. She held her hand out.

"I'm Marise LeBlanc." She took Jude's hand and squeezed it warmly instead of going for the traditional handshake.

"Jude Harrison. You were amazing tonight."

"Thank you. Kwest tells me you're a singer." Jude nodded. "So what is it that you're writing?" Jude showed her the lyrics, putting the napkins in order.

"Would you be interested in helping me with this?" Tommy and Kwest stayed by the stage speaking to the band members, letting the two women bond. Jude started to hum the chorus and then explain what she was looking for. Marise nodded, excitement shining in her vivid green eyes.

"I see what you mean." They got so caught up in the song, they ignored Tommy and Kwest who had decided to sit at a nearby table to nurse their drinks.

__

You're really lovely

Underneath it all

I want to love you

Underneath it all

Jude sang it softly, trying out the tune she had settled on as Marise nodded. It was all starting to come together and Jude had written a part to showcase the other woman's talents.

"So is he really? Lovely?" Marise asked as she turned to the man the song was written about. Jude followed her gaze and grinned, all her feelings for him clear in her eyes, but when she turned back to Marise she flushed at her unabashed lusting for him. She shrugged one shoulder helplessly.

"_I_ think so." She was so ready to take him home. The energy of the night was channeling into other needs besides the juices of creativity.

Tommy noticed them looking, Marise openly leering at him, which did not really faze him since he was used to the groupies, but it did make him wonder.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Kwest asked, glancing over at the attractive women himself.

"Nothing good." Tommy grinned and raised the bottle of beer to his lips. He liked Jude's lascivious grin in his direction; it gave him much hope for later.

**

Tommy had not thought through how Jude's amorous advances would translate in the car on the way to his apartment though, which was twenty minutes away. Her tongue was flicking at his neck, her palm underneath his shirt. Sure the occasional woman had attacked him before while he'd been driving, but this was Jude and his heart was speeding faster than his Viper at this point. If she kept up her caresses, his eyes would eventually lose focus and they would both die in a fiery crash, unfulfilled. It was the thought of being unfulfilled that had him pushing her away; unfortunately his unsteady hand landed on her soft braless breasts. He immediately dropped his arm as if burned, even though all he wanted to do was knead the gentle swells. Oh hell! He gulped as her hand wandered to his leg, one finger sliding back and forth, closer to his inner thigh with every pass. When her nails scratched at him through the denim of his jeans, his eyes crossed and it was only the blare of horns that brought him back as he swerved back into his own lane. He glared at her accusingly.

"You need to stop."

"I can't." She admitted, squeezing her thighs together, trying to ease the ache, biting her lower lip. Tommy let out a strangled groan of defeat, her innocuous words indecently arousing. Jude's head whipped back when Tommy braked a little too hard to take an upcoming turn into a deserted parking lot. He cut the engine and his grabbed her head to press his lips down on hers, feeding on her mouth voraciously, tasting every molecule with his tongue. She was panting when he let go suddenly and left his seat. Her seatbelt was barely off before he had come around to the passenger side and ripped her door open. He pulled her out and shut it quickly, pinning her to the side of the vehicle. He started to suck on her neck as his hands found her breasts over the thin satin of her top. His thumbs brushed against the budding nubs and she moaned into the night air. He slipped one strap down revealing the perfect mound to his gaze and a second later his mouth latched on to suck and bite teasingly. She always tasted of strawberries he mused absentmindedly. She savored the pulling pressure of his hot mouth for a moment, but she wanted so much more. All her nerve endings seemed to be on fire for his body and the grinding of his jean clad lower body against the juncture of her thighs was not nearly enough.

Tommy lifted his head to look around and realized even without lights in this parking area they were too exposed. A stray car could pass by and catch them easily in its headlights. Jude stumbled a little, dizzy with desire as he pulled her towards a shadowed corner of the old brick building. His mouth demanded entrance to hers as he pressed her against the rough stone. His hands went to her waist to unbutton her tight jeans. He pulled the zipper down and was soon tugging on them as she kicked off her boots. Her panties disappeared along with her pants, leaving her naked except for the skimpy camisole that hung by one thin spaghetti strap, exposing her left breast. His mouth clamped down on her pink nipple and his ministrations wrung a cry out of her as his hand slid along her already damp folds. She arched up in pleasure when two fingers entered her. Jude's fingers worked the button of his jeans nimbly and she pulled them down his legs along with his boxers in one fluid motion.

She raised one leg to wrap loosely around his waist, angling her softness forward to meet his body more fully as her tongue licked at his. He reached behind her to grab her ass and lifted her up, pinning her against the wall as her teeth found his lower lip to nibble on. He aligned his hardness to her wet opening and thrust into her in one swift move, stretching her tight muscles to accommodate him. Her cry was even louder this time and he had to use his hand to muffle her moans. Their eyes met as he began to move his hips, pressing even deeper into her.

"Can you be quiet?" He rasped through already ragged breaths. She nodded wordlessly and his hand moved back to her ass to hold her in place while he increased his strokes against her tight sheath. Her mouth latched onto his shirt covered shoulder to stifle the screams building deep within her. At this angle he was rubbing against her G-spot with every swift push of his body. Jude felt herself dangling on that delicious precipice that she wasn't sure she was ready to fall off of, wanting to enjoy his body taking hers higher.

"Harder." She urged but once, before he pounded into her almost delirious with the pleasure of her heat wrapped around him like a wet velvet glove. The tiny spasms began as the friction of their joined bodies continued their mad dance. As she splintered apart her teeth sank into his shoulder, her spasms driving him almost crazy as he pushed even faster, finding his own release seconds later. He held her there, his forehead pressed to hers, for an inordinate amount of time as his body finished its pulsing inside of hers. Sometimes he secretly wished he could stay like that forever. He finally let her drop back down to the ground, admiring her bare ass as she bent to pick up her clothes. He rearranged his own pants as she pulled her jeans back on.

"Where are we?" Her voice broke into his euphoric post-orgasmic state. They both looked around and that's when she saw the brass plaque on the mortar.

__

**Jonus Waverly Children's Library**

"Let's get out of here. I hope they don't have any outdoor cameras." Jude said a little uneasy. She couldn't quite pinpoint exactly why she felt slightly guilty, but this _was_ where innocent children came to sign out books of Dr. Seuss and attend story time. Bad Jude! She glared at his retreating sexy behind and gave it a pinch. Bad Tommy! He jumped a step and stared at her before shaking his head. They make a quick beeline back to the Viper and got in. Tommy started the car and they were soon headed towards his apartment on the other side of town.

"Was that enough to get you home?" He asked teasingly as he glanced over at her disheveled state. If the tabloids got a shot of her now he could just see the headlines. She looked like she had just been fucked hard and he gave himself a self-satisfied grin.

"How far away are we?" She answered his question with one of her own in a tone that was a tad too serious for his liking and he had to do a double take to catch the glint of teasing humor in her eyes. "Don't worry cowboy I can wait until the elevator at least."

Jude's arms were twined around his neck and her lips hungrily moving against his when he had to pull back to find the right key in front of his apartment.

"So..." He breathed. "You never told me what brought on all this....eagerness." He managed to get out before her tongue darted to his neck. She bit down as he fumbled to get the metal into the lock.

"I don't know...The atmosphere, the music, writing that song."

"Do I get to hear it now?" Her weight pushed him into the darkened room.

"Not yet." She hedged as her mouth attacked his again and he slammed the door shut behind them.

**

Jude stood in the sound booth talking animatedly to Marise, who had come in today to record her part of the song. They had lain the instrumental down yesterday even though Jude had still not shown Tommy the lyrics. Jude signaled that they were ready as they both put on their headphones. Kwest walked in to help with the engineering as the song drew to an end. He sat down beside Tommy and looked towards the sound booth.

"What's the name of the song?" He asked checking the controls that Tommy had already preset.

"Underneath It All." Tommy frowned and hit the intercom button connecting him to the other room. The song was great and Jude had sung it with a lot of energy, but she wasn't conveying the emotion he thought it deserved. He never got tired of her voice or songs about him and adding Marise to the mix had been a stroke of genius.

"Jude could you come in here a minute?" She shot a puzzled glance his way and took her headphones off, giving Marise an apologetic look before heading to him. Kwest took the opportunity to get up and greet Marise, having been busy with another artist when she had come in.

Jude plopped down on Kwest's recently vacated chair. She was excited about the song and eager to get back to it.

"What's wrong? I thought it sounded pretty good."

"You're not getting the feel of the song across." She wrinkled her brow in confusion, not sure what he meant. It was a lighthearted song meant to make the listener want to dance. He sighed not wanting to be blunt with this. "You remember that night after you wrote it? What was your mood?" Jude's mind flashed back and oh yes she definitely remembered being taken against the wall and then the couch and the bed. The scrapes on her back from the brick wall were just now healing. "You see where I'm going with this?" Her eyes grew dark as she leaned down to him.

"I get it..." She whispered huskily against his ear, letting her hot breath brush against his skin. "You want me to get you hard." He swallowed convulsively as his hands gripped the arms of the chair, to keep them from her body. Her teeth grazed his lobe before she straightened up, an evil little grin plastered to her full lips. "Well let's do it again then..." She said before swaying out of the room. With that the atmosphere in the studio changed. She swaggered into the other room with hips rolling and Tommy wondering if he would survive the day. Kwest sat back down beside him and listened intently as he heard the song for the first time.

__

There's times when I want something more  
Someone more like me  
There's times when this dress rehearsal  
Seems incomplete  
But, you see the colors in me like no one else  
And behind your dark glasses you're...  
You're something else

Kwest sniggered. Of course the song was about Tommy and so far it fit him to a tee.  
__

You're really lovely  
Underneath it all  
You want to love me  
Underneath it all  
I'm really lucky  
Underneath it all  
You're really lovely

Kwest told himself that she was simply saying she saw the core of Tommy, nothing else, but the way she was singing it made him begin to doubt.__

You know some real bad tricks  
And you need some discipline

Bad tricks?! Discipline?! Okay even Kwest couldn't delude himself into believing she was still talking about Tommy's inner character, especially with the eyes she was directing their way. Since when had Jude's voice developed that husky undertone? He glanced over at Tommy quickly, who was fidgeting a little more than usual.

.__

But, lately you've been trying real hard

_And giving me your best_

Did she actually sing that out loud?

__

And, you give me the most gorgeous sleep  
That I've ever had

And when it's really bad  
I guess it's not that bad

Why!? Why did they hate him so much they insisted on showing off their sex life in front of him when he wasn't getting any! He didn't need to hear about Tommy Q's sexual prowess anymore than he needed to hear Jude's appreciation of his attributes.

__

You're really lovely

Underneath it all

Do you want to love me

Underneath it all

I'm really lucky

Underneath it all

Do you really love me

So many moons that we have seen  
Stumbling back next to me  
I've seen right through and underneath  
And you make me better  
I've seen right through and underneath  
And you make me better  
Better... better...

Better?! Better?! Like she was praising his teaching abilities. No!!! Then he caught Tommy staring at Jude, who had just licked her full lips suggestively, like he wanted to take her on the floor right then.__

**For real, 'cause underneath it all  
You are my real Prince Charmin'  
Like the heat from the fire  
You were always burnin'  
And anytime you're around  
My body keeps stalin'  
For your touch  
Your kisses and your sweet romancin'  
There's another side to you  
That so many adore  
Aside from your temper  
Everything else secure  
You're good for me, baby  
Of that, I'm sure  
'Cuz over and over again  
Me want more**

Kwest loved Marise's part and guessed rightly Jude had written it as well, leaving no doubt that this song wasn't about Tommy's inner qualities, at least not only that. He banged his head on the edge of the soundboard causing Tommy to give him a strange look.

_You've used up all your coupons  
And all you've got left is me  
And somehow I'm full of forgiveness  
I guess it's meant to be_

_You're really lovely  
Underneath it all  
Do you want to love me  
Underneath it all  
I'm really lucky  
Underneath it all  
And you're really lovely_

.  
Marise had nailed her part in only three takes, but Jude's verses required more subtlety so she and Kwest watched as Tommy stood in the sound booth explaining what he wanted exactly. Even from the other room, the currents running between them were tangible. Tommy grazed one finger along her cheek and Marise inhaled sharply as if it were she who had been touched. She finally turned to Kwest, breathing deeply.

_You're really lovely_

_Underneath it all_

_Do you want to love me_

_Underneath it all_

_And I'm really lucky_

_Underneath it all_

_And you're really lovely_

_Mmm, mmm, mmm_

_Underneath it all_

_Mmm, mmm, mmm_

_Underneath it all_

_Mmm, mmm, mmm_

_Underneath it all_

_Mmm, mmm, mmm_

_Underneath it all_

_._

"Ooh is it hot in here?" She fanned her cheeks. Kwest sighed. "How do you work with them like this?" Indicating the tension permeating the entire area.

"You get used to it. Kind of."

"They're something else aren't they?"

"You said it." Kwest rolled his eyes.

"How do they keep their hands off one another?" Kwest snorted at her naiveté.

"Pretty sure they don't."

"Then why are they so bad?" He shrugged helplessly at her confusion.

"The more they're together the worse it seems to get." He admitted to his friend, glad to finally have someone to offload on. He was sick of being the only one stuck between his two friends and their twisted little games. Addicted could not have been a more appropriate song for the two of them. Instead of lessening the need for one another, their every touch seemed to make it worse. The entire staff of G-Major noticed, possibly with the exception of Sadie and Darius, and almost everyone was affected by all the sexual tension. It was like a never ending prickle along the nape of one's neck.

Ten takes later Tommy was satisfied with the vocals, if not physically satisfied. His eyes burned with repressed need as he gazed at his girlfriend. They would mix the song tomorrow with a fresh set of ears. The beat of the song had them all lighthearted and Kwest put in one of Marise's bootleg CD's.

Darius found them all dancing in the sound booth, Kwest swinging Marise out with laughter on all their faces. Jude and Tommy were pressed close together as they swung their hips to the beat, their lips only a breath from touching. Sadie had followed Darius to hand him a phone message having not found him in his office and she too saw the beautiful woman flirting with her boyfriend. She froze and stared at them in shock as Kwest took the woman's hands to continue their dance. She turned and fled before Darius let out his tirade.

"Is this what I'm paying you to do?!" He roared and they all immediately froze.

"We were just celebrating D." Jude was the first to speak, trading on his soft spot for her. "We've got your next summer hit." She said it in a singsong voice and saw the spark of interest in his eyes.

"Is it done?" He asked, composing his face into a mask once again. Kwest had thankfully gone and turned the music off.

"We'll work on the mixing tomorrow D." Tommy finally spoke up, admiring his girl's gutsy move. Darius grunted and took in Marise for a moment before leaving them alone again.


	37. Chapter 32

_The music is Realize by Cobie Caillat. Reviews will keep me posting. I see the ending for this story, so I'm a little sad. Anyway ENJOY!_

**Chapter 32**

The pleasant grin at contrast with the icy eyes was what sealed it, a chill running down his spine. Spied could tell he was serious as he glared down at him before returning to the soundboard, sitting down beside Jude. Jude finished what she was writing, packed up her things and kissed Tommy before she walked up to meet Spied who was still staring at Tommy with a weird horrified expression on his face. If it weren't for all the crap going down at school there was no way he would be accompanying Jude back to school.

"Ready?" Jude had to speak to get his attention.

"He just threatened me."

"Hey I told you, just stop with the boob thing." She rolled her eyes at his still immature behavior. Why had she ever dated him again?

"I didn't say anything! He asked where we were headed and I said to the library to study. He got this weird expression on his face and told me if I touched you he'd make sure I could never play guitar again." Jude's face burned an intense shade of red. "What did I say?!"

"Just don't say that word again."

"What word? Guitar? Study?"

"Never mind. Let's go." Jude grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the door.

"What word?!" Spied braked, causing her to trip over his feet and demanded.

"Library!" Jude hissed a little too loudly causing Kwest to look over at them sharply.

"Huh Dude? Is that like a euphemism for something?" Jude pulled him out the door before he could ask more embarrassing questions.

Kwest leaned against the doorjamb and looked in at his best friend.

"Don't even tell me library could be a euphemism for what I think it is. Cuz that really makes you guys twisted." Tommy grinned at him with a knowing look that had Kwest's skin crawling.

"I don't know what you mean man." Kwest gave a derisive snort and knew he did not need to know more.

**

That stupid bastard. Tommy shook his head as he listened once again to the idiocy coming out of the man on TV's mouth. Of course he had expected something like this a long time ago and luckily now it didn't really matter anymore.

Tommy's head shot up from the show he had been engrossed in, at the loud sound coming from the kitchen. He could not even define the noise, except to say it came from a very pissed off Jude. It sounded like something between a bellow and a shriek of pure female unadulterated rage. It wasn't like he needed to be reminded his girl had a set of lungs on her; he proved that quite regularly. Tommy paused the Tivo and got up, he himself not in the best mood at the moment, to make sure Jude had not decided to cook or kill his beloved coffeemaker.

He took in the sight before him of his girl staring daggers at the glossy magazine on the counter beside the bowl of cereal she had been fixing herself. Her fingers had curled into claws and he gave her a wide berth as he circled to see the article she had been reading. He glanced quickly to see that it was an interview with Blake Collins to coincide with the release of his new movie. The interviewer asked about Blake's leading lady in his personal life and as expected Jude's name came up. Tommy's hand tightened on the pages as he continued to read. Although nothing was blatantly said, there was plenty of insinuation about Jude basically having someone waiting for her in the background even when she and Blake had been dating; that she had run off to be with an old lover the second they had broken up. Blake came off as the wronged party and Jude came out as heartless and a cheater. At least he hadn't mentioned catching Tommy and Jude on her birthday.

Tommy had been expecting something to happen as soon as MTV started releasing the previews of Jude's documentary. Once the show had aired and their infamous kiss showed to the world along with his hands on her ass, which he at the time didn't remember doing, the paparazzi had not left them alone. The verdict was still out on how the public would take their relationship, but they tried to ignore the press as much as they usually did.

"Jude?" He stepped a little closer to her and her head shot up, because he so rarely used her first name. There was the tiniest bit of worry in him that maybe she had cared for Blake after all. Why else would she have dated him for so long? She growled at the offending magazine again, erasing his fear and he had to hide a laugh. She was barely a hundred pounds soaking wet so it was cute rather than threatening when she tried to look tough. "Does it really matter what he insinuated?" Tommy took her arms and forced her reluctant gaze up to him. Jude finally sighed and shook her head no.

"I thought we were friends once ya know? I trusted him." He pulled her into his arms and hugged her.

"Not everyone you meet is going to be a standup kind of person Jude, especially in this business. And he didn't exactly lie." She mumbled an 'I know' into his chest. "I'd be pissed if I found out you were always in love with someone else. How would you feel in his position?"

"We were having fun! He's got a new girlfriend every week! Why did he care so much?" Jude wailed in frustration. She was lost when he tilted his head down at her with that look that stole her breath.

"You said no to him."

"So?" His eyes took in every feature of her face. She didn't know how special she was, didn't understand how she could make a guy like Blake fall, guys like them fall.

"It made you different from all the girls he usually comes in contact with."

"I didn't say no to you." Tommy blinked at her change in topic, blindsiding him.

"Ahh...But I was smart enough to know you were different and to appreciate it." Jude cocked an eyebrow, even she usually oblivious, heard the cheesiness in that line. "You were an exceptional lay?" He barely winced when she bit his shoulder. He held her closer and chuckled against her neck. "I was already falling for you."

"When?" She quirked her mouth up in interest at his answer.

"When you said 'Do it again.'" It took her a moment to remember their first night together, she being half drunk and a little bit overwhelmed.

"Oh God I did say that. I was such a hussy!"

"Say that again Harrison." He said it in a low tone that had Jude doing a double take as the hand at the small of her back puller her even closer so that their lower bodies were completely inline.

"Hussy..." She whispered it and his mouth came down devouring hers and she felt the telltale bulge against her belly. Talking dirty was not something she had ever really explored before, but this showed some promise. She wound her arms around his neck as he lifted her onto the counter. Tommy grinned at the easy access, his fingers tracing the outline of her lace panties at her inner thigh before dipping underneath the elastic band. She arched her back as two fingers slid into her already wet sheath. Their tongues met and tangled as she thrust her hips against his invading fingers. She couldn't imagine ever reacting to anyone else the way she did to him. The cool air hit her overheated skin and she felt his naked flesh against her legs. Their eyes met as his hands went underneath her thighs to tilt her to the edge of the counter, his hardness poised at her opening. They both looked down as he spread her open with his arousal, making her fingers on his shoulders tighten spasmodically. His whole length disappeared slowly and Jude couldn't look away, but in the next instant she couldn't focus as he withdrew and speared into her just as quickly. His thrusts had her hanging on to him, afraid the vigorous movement of his hips would make her lose her precarious seat. One slender fingered hand flailed out and splayed against the cabinet, tensing against it to try and find some purchase. The pounding of his body into hers, had her ass sliding along the granite counter and he had to grip her thighs tighter to keep her from moving, his fingers digging in to the soft flesh.

"Tommy..." She breathed. Her heels dug into his lower back as she attempted to meet his thrusts.

"Say it Jude."

"Tommy...Oh...Fuck me!" If possible his strokes grew even more heated. "I'm almost..." And she let out a cry that would have had him plugging his ears if he hadn't been so oblivious to everything but the overwhelming sensation where their bodies joined. Jude's hand went flying out and a crash sounded on the floor that neither bothered to notice.

"Jude! Like that." She was aggressively tightening her inner muscles bringing him to the brink and over, she still feeling the aftershocks of their intense joining as he pumped a final time into her wet heat. It was a long moment before he could separate himself from her. He looked down to see ceramic shards, milk and cereal covering the kitchen floor. She moved to hop off the counter, but he stopped her with a hand to her chest.

"Hang on." He backed up slowly scanning for loose shards as he got the broom and dustpan from the pantry closet. Once he had it all cleaned up and put back he took Jude into his arms and carried her into the living room, before dropping her lightly onto the couch.

"Check this out." He pushed play and resumed watching what she had interrupted before. It was Chaz Blackburn, caught by Hollywood Insider talking indiscreetly to some bimbo at a club. Although the music was loud it was clear he was bragging about how he had always known his buddy Tommy had a thing for a certain redhead. Jude put her hands to her face and groaned. If you couldn't trust your friends, who could you trust?

"I'm gonna kill Chaz!"

"Hah only if I can kill Blake first." They were too tired to do more than grin at one another. "At least he didn't mention Addicted."

"Yet...And who cares now?"

"Really?" She looked at him in surprise.

"Really. We're here now and that's all that matters to me." He leaned down and rested his forehead against hers.

**

They sat in the visitors chairs across from Darius, having been pulled in as soon as Jude had arrived from school. She was so glad to get away from the hellhole; even time spent in a grimfaced Darius's company was preferable. Ever since the MTV show had aired and then the interview with Blake had come out, Jude had been getting more attention from the student population at Carson Hill than she liked and not all of it had been positive. A few of the jocks, knowing she was seeing a playa like Tommy Q right after another play, namely Blake Collins had basically called her a cheater, had tried harder than usual to hit on her. In turn the boys actions had had angered the already jealous girlfriends and the girls who thought they owned said guys. Jude blinked to focus back on D as he started to speak.

"I have you scheduled for an Under the Mic performance on Monday night Jude. Your relationship is big news right now. Your ex " He nodded at Jude. "and your ex-bandmate" He nodded at Tommy. "really did a number on how the public is seeing you two. So you're gonna represent your relationship like it's true love and not some hookup." They knew better than to bother protesting that they were indeed in love, while Darius was speaking. It wasn't really any of his business anyway as long as they got their jobs done. "And it would be nice if you could answer a few questions too Tom."

"Okay...It shouldn't be a problem." Jude said making plans in her head to get SME together for a practice session sometime this weekend.

"What song do you want her to play?" Tommy asked, sensing the other man's proclamation was not quite done.

"I want a ballad. A 'we're in love' make teenage girls cry ballad." Darius said somberly.

"Well we've been working on Crazy Faith." Jude stated in confusion. She didn't think that would make anyone cry necessarily.

"No. It's solid, but it's not your single. You two better come up with something good." Jude gnawed on her lower lip as she thought over his words. She did have something, but had been hesitant to show it to Tommy. It looked like the choice of timing was going to be taken out of her hands. She knew the minute she had seen him in that ballroom that she would have to show him the song.

"Monday?! D that only gives us two days to write a song and get it ready to perform." Tommy ranted at his dark eyed boss, his hands gripping the arm rests as if he was about to spring up.

"I know the two of you can do it. You will." Jude put her hand on Tommy's arm, her touch calming him just enough to have him sitting his ass back down.

"It's okay." She said softly to Tommy. "We'll do it." She then directed at Darius who nodded in satisfaction. That was his platinum selling princess. Only eighteen and the consummate professional. Darius had to admit he had a soft spot for the gutsy, stubborn, determined girl and she always managed to surprise him with her maturity, even though she was no pushover.

"Are you sure?" Tommy asked searching her eyes for any hint of deceit to placate their boss. Jude nodded reassuringly, sincerity shining in her big eyes.

"You better get started. I want final approval Monday morning." Darius said as his final words and they got up hearing the dismissal.

.

Jude walked towards Tommy's office to retrieve her bag, with him trailing a step behind, when he stopped her and she spun to face him.

"You don't have to do this. What he's asking, it's unreasonable." She felt so safe in that moment, at his need to defend and protect her.

"It's okay." He was puzzled by her calm façade. He had been through her journal and she had no love song good enough to fit Darius's request.

"Look you've been working on some great stuff, but it's not..."

"Tommy I said it was fine. I promise." His forehead crinkled in that way she found so adorable.

"Did you magically come up with something back there?" He asked sarcasm lacing his words now at her enigmatic air.

"No, but I do have a ballad." Jude admitted, uncharacteristically evasive.

"Well do I get to hear it?" Jude bit her lip as she gave the question a lot more thought then he understood, at least yet. Would he be angry that she had waited so long to show him?

"This weekend."

"Why...." Her fingers went to his lips.

"When you hear it you'll understand."

**

As consciousness slowly seeped in Tommy felt the loss of the warm body that had been curled against him all night. Her silky skin brushed against his hip as she moved out of bed. There was the cutest frown on his face as he cracked an eye open to see her sliding off the edge of the bed. She was silhouetted against the muted sunlight streaming through the blinds and he admired her slender curved form for a moment as she started towards the door.

"Where are you going?" He murmured in his sexy sleep ridden raspy voice.

"I'll be right back..." She called over her shoulder as she padded across the carpeted room.

"Okay..." He murmured as his eyes closed again. He didn't know if it had been a minute or ten before he felt the slight dip in the mattress beside him and he opened his eyes again to see her wearing one of his dress shirts, holding his acoustic in her lap. "What..." The small sleepy smile he gave her had her heart melting all over again and she knew this was the time to show him her ballad.

"Shh...I promised..." Her hand squeezed his shoulder and he relaxed under her touch. A moment later he heard the melody she plucked so effortlessly from the strings. Her silken voice caressed him as she started to sing quietly. The soft notes made his eyes drift shut again, her playing lulling him in the lazy mood of a Sunday morning.

__

Take time to realize

That your warmth is crashing down... on me

Take time to realize

That I am on your side

Didn't I, didn't I...tell you

But I can't spell it out for you

No it's never gonna to be that simple

No I can't spell it out for you

His eyes opened to catch her gaze as she sang from her heart, this song that was steeped in truth she had known deep down. She couldn't bare to look into his eyes quite yet, feeling strangely vulnerable to a man that knew every inch of her inside and out.

__

If you just realize what I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never find another

Just realize what I just realized

We never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now

Take time to realize

Oh ooh I'm on your side

Didn't I, didn't I tell you

Take time to realize

Oh oh I'm on your side oh ooh oh ooh oh ooh

But I can't spell it out for you

It's never gonna be that simple

No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realized what I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other and we'll never find another

Just realize what I just realized

We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other but...

It's not the same

No it's never the same

If you don't feel it too

If you meet me half way

If you would meet me half way

It could be the same for you

If you just realize what I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another

Just realize what I just realized

We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other

Just realize what I just realized

That we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another

Just realize what I just realized

We'd never have to wonder if we missed out on each other now

Missed out on each other now

Missed out on each other now

We missed on each other now

Realize, realize, realize

How could she constantly awe him? He understood too why she had insisted on waiting to show him her song. He had to appreciate her timing, when all his defenses were down and he felt content to wake up slowly beside her. This moment when the real world hadn't intruded yet and they were wide open to each other. Wasn't that what this song was about? She placed the guitar down and slipped back under the sheet beside him, curling into his body.

"When did you write this?"

"The night I came back from New York." Her breath whispered against his bare chest, and he felt other stirrings come to life as he was being lifted from his languid fog. She had kept this from him for that long? Usually she couldn't wait to show him any song she was excited about, but not this one. And he got it. She couldn't have shown it to him unless he was here with her. "Tommy I want you to sing the background vocals." He looked down into her eyes and could see the plea behind them. She wanted this song to be a part of both of them, and maybe for him to acknowledge the naked emotion she had spilled into it.

"Okay." Her smile was brilliant and filled with promise and for him alone. He had missed this part of her too, that smile that told him everything.

She tasted sweet when he pulled her in for a kiss, letting his tongue glide along her lips, wetting them before plundering her mouth. She met him with equal ferocity and they felt the heat rise up again, insatiable and insane. How long before they could control this crazy hunger? How many times would they have to consummate their need, before the beast stopped rolling over them, sometimes unexpectedly taking them unawares? It was like every time they touched they were bound more tightly to one another and even Tommy with his vast experience had never had this with anyone else.

His hands cupped her bottom as she climbed on top, straddling his hips, her thighs pressed to either side. She lowered herself in slow increments and gasped as she sank onto his arousal, taking him to the hilt. Her hips bucked forward every time she raised herself on her knees, letting her most sensitive nub slide against him where their bodies joined. She grinned at his moans as she clamped down with her inner muscles on the downswing, holding him tightly inside her before releasing her hold and moving up again. Tommy could not remember ever being ridden like this, and wondered if it was love that made the difference. He sat up, their bodies still joined, and lowered his head as his fingers pushed his shirt off her shoulders. He took one taut aching nipple into his mouth and had her crying out as he sucked and then bit and then soothed with his tongue. She could feel it coming, almost violent in its intensity as her pace quickened and grew more erratic. His mouth continued to work on the tender flesh of her breasts, his lips now sucking against the swell, even as his hands gripped her hips and he thrust up to meet her. The feel of her silken muscles gripping him so wetly had his teeth biting down without him truly being aware, muffling his scream as he lost every ounce of control, bucking wildly against her. His frantic movements triggered her own release as her fingers gripped his hair, yanking slightly painfully, not that he was in a position to complain, as her muscles convulsed around him, keeping him buried in her hot depths.

Their chests rose in unison as their unfocused eyes met. With her fingers still locked in his hair, she tugged him forward to press her lips to him in a still hungry kiss. Soon she felt him growing inside her once again and laughed in surprise when he moved so that they both fell on their sides. Suddenly she was flat on her back and he was hovering above her still buried in her depths, until he began to move, withdrawing until only the head of his arousal was still in her and then stealing her breath with his deep hard strokes Jude couldn't complain. Who needed a lazy Sunday morning when they had this.

**

As Darius listened to Realize he frowned in concentration as he tried to hear the voice in the background vocals over Jude's voice, with his musically trained ear. Why did it sound so familiar? That song! The one that had rocked the industry by having no one claim it as his own.

"Is that you on the background vocals?" His dark eyes pierced Tommy's, who nodded in confirmation. "You've been singing haven't you?"

"What?" Tommy arched an eyebrow at him. Darius simply gave him that stern glare he had perfected over the years. "And if I have D? You hired me as a producer." Jude stared between them, wondering how this could suddenly be going so wrong. "My music wasn't good enough for you before..." Tommy commented, bringing up old wounds that still ached, no matter how much he might deny it. Darius had locked his first solo attempt, Frozen, in the vaults. He felt Jude's slender fingers and linked them with his. Darius knew he was treading a veritable minefield. Every artist he had ever met was sensitive about criticism to his music.

"T Frozen was weak, but Addicted...." He shook his head, wondering what had changed for Tommy to start writing again and a song that was so much better than what he had previously shown him.

"Tommy I'd like to use an acoustic version of Addicted as one of the tracks for the CD compliation G-Major is putting out." Darius could see the dollar signs for that as soon as the name of the mystery artist was released and a different version would assure even more sales from fans of the song.

"First of all I don't have plans to sing again and second. It's not my call. I don't own the song." He barely glanced at Jude, but she caught his quick look.

"I'm sure Wendell and G-Major can work out a mutually gratifying deal."

"They don't have the rights either." Jude's hand that had been tapping at the arm rest, froze. He didn't....Did he? Sure she had asked for him to start singing again as a birthday present, and Addicted was written for her, but....

"Stop playing games T. Who owns Addicted?" Tommy turned his head and met her gaze. Darius followed the direction of Tommy's eyes and frowned.

"You didn't...." She whispered in stunned amazement. Tommy shrugged and turned his head back to Darius.

"You'll have to ask Jude."

"Ask Jude..." Darius's stare found her unable to speak, her mouth parted. The implications were huge and Tommy had just outed them to Darius. "Now why would you give the rights to Jude?" And it was their turn to stare back at him in disbelief. Darius was not known for being slow. As understanding dawned on Darius his eyes grew darker and his fists clenched. "Both of you get out. I'll talk to you later." If he asked Tommy to do this then it would mean leaving Jude open to gossip. Jude was just now barely eighteen. How long had it been since Addicted had come out? Over a year? He groaned as he once again wondered if it was worth it to bring Tommy back to G-Major. But then he thought about this epic ballad he had just heard and the publicity of a Tommy and Jude pairing. The public was, despite the negative interview from Blake Collins, inclined to like Tommy and Jude as a couple or rather Jommy as they had been dubbed. Little colored dollar signs danced in front of his eyes.


	38. Chapter 33

****

Chapter 33

"You guys ready for this?" Ian asked Jude who simply smiled as she squeezed Tommy's hand. They stood together behind the set of Under the Mic, waiting for the run-through. Ian glanced at the quiet man beside him, although appearing unruffled Ian could see the nerves he was trying to keep from Jude. Although Tommy had still been tabloid fodder, he hadn't been in the spotlight for years and except for the Music Helps benefit hadn't performed either. The host of the show, Brice Banks came over and started to speak to Jude leaving the two men alone.

"Relax they'll be focused on her." Ian said reassuringly, even though their relationship would be hot news and Tommy nodded at him. Would anyone else guess who the mystery singer of Addicted was, like Darius had, simply from the backup vocals of Realize? Tommy wasn't sure if he was ready for anyone to ask if he was restarting his solo career, but he needed to do this for her, to prove that he was not ashamed of their relationship.

Brice held the microphone to Jude as they stood before the performance area with the studio fans screaming in the background. Tommy stood beside her, trying to ignore the calls of the audience to him.

"So I hear you have a new song to show us." Jude nodded, looking comfortable and relaxed under the stage lights, making Tommy remember back to her first show at the Vinyl Palace when she had been a bundle of nervous energy.

"Yeah it was written with a certain someone in mind." She said it softly, an enigmatic smile on her face as she glanced at Tommy briefly.

"Is this a duet?" He nodded at Tommy who shook his head. The thrum of the audience was getting his blood pumping. They of course wanted to know if this would be the disclosure of their relationship.

"I'm strictly backup this time."

"Alright." Brice addressed the audience with a wide grin. "You heard it here first, Jude Harrison's hot new ballad, Realize."

.

Tommy and Jude sat together on the funky mustard colored couch across from Brice in an overstuffed moss green chair, after her performance. They did not touch, but were comfortably close as they laughed with the friendly VJ. The fans were in an uproar as they finally admitted their relationship to the public, not that it had been hard to figure out with the love song they had just performed.

"It's been a busy couple of months for you Jude. Your 18th birthday, congratulations." She murmured a thank you. " Then a breakup and a hookup with your producer." Jude gave a small nervous laugh.

"I couldn't say no."

"Do you have any response to Blake's allegations?" She tensed beside Tommy and his hand covered hers, squeezing gently.

"We agreed to be casual. I guess after a while we didn't want the same things." Jude shrugged. "Story of my life." She gave Tommy a pointed look. "Tommy and I have always been close and we kept in contact while he was in New York, but no we didn't get together while I was with Blake." In a strange twisted way Blake had helped them, because everyone was so focused on whether or not she had cheated that the age issue had been pushed to a backburner.

**

"Is it really that important I graduate? I mean it's not like I'll ever use my high school degree for anything." Jude rested her head on her elbow and looked over at Tommy who was still dozing on the couch.

"Uh huh…And what would you do with all this extra time?"

"Oooh I know. Let's buy a cabin in the woods somewhere and just take off. No TV's, no tabloids and most importantly no reporters." Tommy cracked one eye and looked over at her. Her skin did seem a little washed out and there were dark smudges under normally bright eyes. When it came down to it she had a more than full time job, a full time boyfriend and exams to cram for, not to mention the paparazzi chasing them all the time, and then all the numerous publicity events Ian scheduled for her. There was also all the trouble at school she hadn't told him about. She was stretched pretty thin these days and she hadn't been sleeping all that well, jolting awake not every night when she stayed with him, but frequently. She told him she couldn't remember the dream, but sometimes he wondered.

"And what about your career?"

"I'll sing to the birds. And you…" She grinned as she leaned in and brushed her nose against his.

"Who are you, that chick from that Disney cartoon singing to the animals?"

"Which chick?"

"I dunno the one where she's a princess and the animals love her." Jude rolled her eyes and shook her head before she leaned against his arm.

"Quincy do I strike you as a Disney fan?" He used the back of his hand to caress her cheek and her lashes brushed her skin as she let his touch sooth her. His lips found hers in an unhurried kiss and she moaned into his mouth as his hands squeezed her taut shoulders firmly.

"Turn around." He commanded as he pulled her shirt over her head, leaving her in her white lace bra. She did as she was told and her head fell back as his fingers dug into the tight muscles of her shoulders as his mouth brushed against her neck. At this point she wasn't sure which touch she wanted more. Of course she was silly to think she would be given a choice, his hands sliding down her upper arms, cupping her breasts in his hands as his thumbs rubbed against her nipples. He moved her pliant body so that she lay on his couch staring up at him lazily, her fingers sliding along the muscles of his abdomen. He undressed her slowly, letting his fingers touch bare skin as he went, her occasional moans encouraging his touch.

His naked body soon covered hers, the rough hair of his legs rubbing against her silken thighs. She pulled him down and kissed him softly, wrapping her legs around his waist. He was a little surprised at her passivity, but his fingers found her wet and wanting. He aligned himself at her entrance and thrust in sharply, wanting to coax her body to life, to waken her tired mind. Jude obliged, lifting her hips to meet his demanding strokes, her nails raking his smooth back as she arched in pleasure. The dip of her tongue into the hollow of his neck had him groaning. The tremors of her inner muscles had her urging him to go faster and he obliged as tensed under him, her fingers digging into his back as bit down on his shoulder to prevent the cry that wanted to escape. He did not hold back, knowing she could take the hard thrusts of his body, as he sought his own release. He pounded into her over and over again until he felt the familiar tightening of his body and he heard the cry she did not hold back this time as he brought her over again. He collapsed on top of her, completely spent, resting his cheek against hers as they relearned how to breathe normally.

****

**　

It was a bright sunny weekday morning, not reflecting Jude's tired mood in the least. She could not wait for graduation and to get out of this place. As Jude drew near her locker she saw a petite curly haired girl pulling down papers that had been taped to her locker. She frowned in puzzlement as she stood beside Kat who had just managed to tear most of the last one down, leaving only a blank corner of the white page.

"Watcha doin?" Her friend jumped like a scared rabbit and quickly shoved her hands behind her back.

"Hey…." She plastered a smile on her face that more resembled a grimace. "I…uh…someone stuck some pizza delivery ads on your locker. I was just getting rid of them for you." Kat blurted out, her eyes going wary as she noticed her friend looking at her suspiciously. Jude held out her hand and Kat sighed dramatically before taking her arm from her back and handing her one of the pages that had been plastered all over her locker.

**_FOR A GOOD TIME CALL: 509-2212_**

**_INSTANT SLUT: JUDE HARRISON_**

**_TURNONS: ANY GUY WITH A PULSE_**

**_TURNOFFS: NONE_**

It had the picture of her from the cover of Vanity Fair and someone had even taken the time to perforate the bottom of the page into small breakaway tabs with her number on each. She could figure out who had done this pretty easily. Although quite a few of the popular jocks had hit on her after all her recent publicity there had been one by the name of Nick Randal whom had been almost relentless. He tried to be charming, but she had met his type in Blake and Blake had been much better at it. The thing was, Nick had a girlfriend named Tracy Anders, and of course she was popular and a cheerleader. She also blamed Jude for her boyfriend's sudden interest in her and made sure Jude knew that Nick only wanted to get into her pants.

The paper crumpled in her hand and she let fury erase any trace of hurt she had allowed. She had a choice to make; she could be the victim or she could be better than them.

**

Jude just did not understand pettiness. She and SME sat around the rehearsal space after school, hanging out until their studio time later that afternoon. What was wrong with letting someone else be happy, letting them live their life? It didn't have to take away from your self worth did it? Females especially ones of the teenage variety were capable of being spiteful, jealous, petty creatures, Jude finally realized after eighteen years. How could she not know that after living with Sadie she wasn't quite sure. She figured it was a good thing being a musician was her lively hood and not using her brain, because she didn't know if she could survive on mac and cheese alone.

"Schools almost over. Why don't they just leave me alone?" Jude wailed uncharacteristically making Wally give Spied a look of concern.

"Because Dude, this tiny microcosm is their entire world. You left that behind a long time ago and by being successful and wanted by the hottest bachelors in Canada you become the bitch."

"Girls suck." Jude muttered and Spied grinned.

"Care to prove that or do I have to ask Quincy?" Jude smacked him in the arm.

"I didn't know you swung that way Vin. Does Karma know? Besides I thought you were afraid of Tommy."

"Shit yeah! Your boyfriend's bigger than me!"

"It's almost over." Kyle said soothingly, as the boys glanced at one another in silent conversation. They had to watch out for her, because unlike Nick Randal a few of the guys were more aggressive towards their interest in Jude and the girls had been just as bad, trying to keep Jude down in their own jealous insecurities.

**

"I think you should do the compilation." Jude said it out of the blue, startling Tommy from the paperwork on his desk. She had come in so unobtrusively he had not even noticed her presence.

"You know what that'll mean right?" Jude nodded emphatically.

"I don't care anymore." She wasn't going to apologize for being in love with Tommy anymore. The episode in school had finally convinced her that it didn't matter if the truth was out there, because it would all be perverted to suit the public anyway. She was not ashamed of their relationship and that meant no more hiding the truth.

**

SME sat around in the lounge area chairs, all of them bent over a piece of paper rapidly discussing as Spied wrote in names in the divided blocks of space. Tommy was walking by on his way to Hospitality and gave them a curious glance when he heard his girls' name being mentioned and Spied asking who could 'take her' third period. Wally mentioned that Jamie had that class with her and did they think he would help. Tommy leaned over Spied's shoulder and glanced at what appeared to be a class schedule and Kyle stared at him like a deer caught in headlights. Spied turned his head up to see what his bandmate was staring at and his face froze, while his hands jerked the paper down beside him, so that Tommy could no longer see.

"What are you guys doing?" Tommy asked them, an eyebrow cocked in suspicion.

"N…nothing." Spied said nervously, knowing Jude would kill him if her boyfriend found out about all the harassment she was receiving at school because of their relationship. She knew Tommy would have done anything to protect her and having him come down and beat up the guys that had been hitting on her would have been the worst possible thing that could happen.

"We have to document the week of a fellow student for English." Kyle blurted and his fellow bandmates stared at him like he was an idiot. Tommy was instantly suspicious, knowing Carson Hill High School wasn't so small that it would be likely they were all in the same class. He had heard Jude mention that Kyle was the brainiac in the band. So wouldn't he be in honors classes and not a regular one with Jude?

"Uh…yeah. You hang out with someone you don't normally spend much time with." Wally added slightly desperately.

"And you all chose Jude?"

"Well dude, she's hot." Spied added and immediately flinched at the darkening of Tommy's eyes. "Uh I mean she's obviously the most interesting person there, being a rock star and all." Tommy rolled his eyes and gave them one final glance before walking off. He didn't have time to sit around and play twenty questions with these boys.

**

It was a bit surreal for Jude to be sitting on this side of the glass beside Kwest while her producer sat on the other side, a guitar on his lap, headphones on and his eyes closed as he sang into the mic. It was possibly the sexiest thing she had ever seen and she had to concentrate to listen to the subtle nuances that would make this remix great.

"Look at him." Kwest gave her a questioning glance, used to her sudden outbursts. "He needs to perform again."

"Uh Jude, you know it's a miracle he's doing this at all right? After Frozen I didn't think he would ever sing again." Underneath everything Tommy was not nearly as confident as he pretended to be.

"What changed?" Her big eyes drew him in; the Harrisons blue eyes and he couldn't help remember the other sister.

"Don't make me say it Jude."

"Huh?"

"You." She wondered once again: Was that enough?

Jude had begged Tommy to make a Starbucks run for her, just to get him out of the building.

She stood in front of her boss's door with a disc in her hand and knocked briefly. When Darius looked up to her solemn face his eyebrow quirked in question.

"I want to negotiate."

　**

Jude gnawed at her lip as she watched her boyfriend skim the tabloid article. It had been her fault. She had let Tracy Anders goad her into a public argument, her nerves having been wound tight for a while now. The other girl had accused her of trying to steal her boyfriend and Jude had finally lost it. She was sick of Nick trying to get her to go out with him and sick of the way some of the students were treating her because she was dating Little Tommy Q. So she had yelled something like, why would she be interested in Josh when she had hottest sex god in Toronto on speed dial. Unbeknownst to Jude one of Tracy's cheerleader friends had been recording the conversation on her cell phone.

"I'm sorry…" She whispered, feeling a potent combination of shame, stupidity, and a slight hint of fear at his reaction. He finally looked up his eyes catching hers without speaking. The smirk lightened her heart the smallest bit.

"I've been called worst things than a sex god." He grinned with such arrogance she had to roll her eyes. "But really Harrison. What was this?" He tossed the magazine back on his desk and studied her face. She was accustomed to the celebrity life and had been used to not saying anything too revealing, yet here was a verbatim account of her in a argument with Tracy Anders.

"It was out of context." Jude folded her arms against her chest and sighed, feeling foolish and ashamed at bringing their personal life to the forefront yet again. "She accused me of trying to hook up with her boyfriend." Although she stated it simply, there were many more details she did not add and many things she had not told him about school. Like that half the popular jocks had been hitting on her, thinking she would be easy and that one in particular had at least been nice about it; Nick Randal, who's girlfriend had been the one who had started to torment Jude with her friends. Tommy could not hide the laugh and she did not appreciate the humor.

"So did you?"

"Well you know. Of course I was looking for someone new. Twice a day isn't quite enough…" He growled low in his throat, not liking even the idea of what she suggested. Jude widened her eyes as if she had just thought of something. "But you don't _have_ to be replaced…Maybe we could try Viagra." He was on her in an instant, grabbing her around the waist his mouth against her ear. Jude's heart started to pound at the aggressive energy he emitted, her body reacting predictably to his. His teeth bit at the sensitive lobe, causing a shiver to run across her spine.

"That was three times yesterday…" He proceeded to whisper what he would do to her once they had a day free together and she felt heat pooling between her legs, her knees going weak. Not surprisingly he still had a few tricks up his sleeve saved for a special occasion. "Why didn't you tell me about school?" He asked against her soft hair and the atmosphere changed abruptly as she stiffened in his arms. She pulled away and busied herself with putting her textbooks back into her bag.

"I had it under control." Tommy flashbacked to SME and the strange conversation they had been having. They had known! And they had been guarding her he suddenly realized.

"How many of them have been bothering you?" Jude shrugged as she looked at him.

"Not that many." She had confirmed she was being harassed and his fists clenched.

"You kept this from me." He accused.

"There's nothing you could do Tommy. Besides I can take care of myself." She was so adamant about that now, not relying on him too much and he found it bothered him. "School's almost over and I won't have to deal with them again." Jude sighed heavily. "Can we just drop this? It's not important." He nodded, but he wondered why she tried so hard to be strong around him and wondered if he had anything to do with it.

**

She was ashen faced as she slid open the studio door, leaning against the doorway for support. The waiting was killing her and even though she accepted she had been wrong, she deserved better than this. She needed answers and she wouldn't leave until she had her say. His dark eyes looked up and shuttered as he stared at her.

"Kwest we need to talk." He looked down at the soundboard again dismissively as if he had not one iota of time for her. Inside though his mind was churning, she could still affect him like no one he had ever met.

"I'm kinda busy Sadie. Maybe later." She came into the room completely then, shutting the door behind her.

"Now." He feigned impatience as he folded his arms over his chest and swiveled in his chair to more fully face her.

"Are we done?" She was proud that her voice barely quavered as she said the words that had been a lump in her throat for all this time.

"Do you expect me to just forget?" Kwest asked incredulously.

"I'm not asking you to forget. But you have to forgive me."

"Why?"

"Because if one mistake it all it takes for you to give up on us…then maybe you never really loved me. You're not the guy I thought you were. You're not the guy I fell for." She shook her head sadly and he steeled himself to ignore any response he might feel. "All my life I tried to be the best, but you were supposed to see past that. I'm not perfect, but I'm not as awful as you're treating me either." He didn't know what to say, so she turned away at his continued silence. "I'll be over tomorrow to get my stuff." Her shoulders had slumped in defeat as she turned to go, hoping he would stop her, but he found he couldn't. As Kwest sat there mired in guilt, he found his anger again. How could she turn this back on him? It wasn't his fault their relationship was ending! She had kissed his best friend! Would that sound as solid out loud; their breakup over a kiss? He sighed deeply and closed his eyes as if in prayer.


	39. Chapter 34

_The song in this is Beautiful Mistake by Better Than Ezra. Am I the only one having a hard time inserting anything from Word? The normal wordpad function doesn't appear to work anymore._

**Chapter 34**

As was common for Tommy and Jude, they were once again the last ones in the studio. Jude stood up from the soundboard and stretched her back muscles, hands clasped together over her head. She looked over at her boyfriend who was replaying the track, listening for the elusive beat that was off in both their minds. Jude took advantage of his distraction and went over to her bag, taking out a sheaf of stapled papers.  
He looked up distractedly, eyes in tired question at the document she had placed in front of him. Jude bit her lip nervously, sticking her hands in the front of her jeans pockets rocking on her heels.

"It's a contract for your solo album."

"Jude you know I'm not…" She interrupted him before he could deny what she believed he really wanted.

"Look I know it didn't work out before…but you're a different person now Tommy. The music you're making deserves to be heard. It's who you are; who we both are." She pleaded convincingly, but he did not respond to the allure of her words nor tone.

"Why can't you just leave it alone?! You have to stick your nose in everything! The world doesn't revolve around you!" He lashed out in a way that used to be normal for him, until he had met her and found a reason to temper his anger. She stepped back a step, stunned. He thought he could literally see the blow he had caused her, reflected in her eyes. After an endless moment of staring into his darkened orbs she finally spun around and hurried out of the studio. "Jude…" He called out weakly, but did not pursue. Tommy dug his fingers into his hair, holding his head, wanting to scream out his frustration.

.

He was sitting in the same spot when she came back an interminable time later. Tommy looked up at her with a shuttered gaze. She stood silently a meter away from his chair as she struggled to find her voice.

"You're back. I thought you left." He stated dumbly, but she ignored the chance to tease him for stating the obvious, her heart in too much turmoil.

"I was going to. I sat in my car telling myself to go. But I couldn't do it." He stared at her in wonder. How could she be so mature sometimes; so willing to try? "Tell me you don't want me here. Look me in the eye and tell me and I'll go. I'll leave you alone until you call me." He rolled his chair towards her and took her hands in his. She wouldn't raise her eyes to meet his gaze. "Why?"

"I don't know if I can." He admitted weakly. He lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Before I met you I thought music just had to have a good sound to be good. I got by on creating great tracks, but I never had to listen hard to the lyrics. You are one of the bravest people I know."

"Me? I'm not…" She shook her head in denial, a little flustered at his compliment. Inside she was scared of so many things, how did that translate to brave?

"Every time you write a new song you put a little more of yourself out there." His palm rested over her left breast, but it was not a sexual gesture. "You showed me that great music comes from here." She thought she understood some of it now. He didn't want to feel vulnerable, to let others see the real him. "Jude…I'm sorry." She didn't answer him so he started to continue when she finally spoke.

"Why do you always have to push me away Tommy?" The hurt in her voice had never been his intention.

"My life was never like yours…I don't know where to start."

"Show me." She said matter of factly, a challenge to him, as she handed him the blank notebook and pen off the soundboard. He looked down at the paper and nodded his head, taking them before walking to the couch.

.

Sometimes when what you have to say is really important, creating the song takes everything out of you. But when you sing it for the first time it fills you up and in the process releases you. His eyes were weary and shadows smudged his lashes. She did not know how long they had been there, but she would stay as long as he needed to be there. When he was done he asked her to wait in his office. She nodded hesitantly, unable to stop from kissing his cheek before she turned to leave. He pulled her in and buried his faced in her hair before letting go abruptly. Jude nodded at him and left him alone in Studio One. Hours later he was in the doorway staring at her. She was clicking the mouse at his computer playing yet another game of mindless solitaire, unable to concentrate on anything more taxing. He walked up and handed her a CD, where she looked down to see both their fingers grasping it. He let go suddenly and turned his head away.

"I'll be in the alley getting some air." She watched his figure disappear before she put the disc into the hard drive.

_And your photo stills  
In your wallet with your unpaid bills  
And you show it like it means something  
You could never know the pain it brings_

_And then here you are  
Standing in our drive  
When absence suits you best  
Your letters and your cards  
With no return address_

_Now you come around  
Now you come around  
Your familiar sounds  
And we are your beautiful,  
We are your beautiful mistake._

_Waiting for this day  
Well I memorized the things I'd say  
How you broke her when you disappeared  
How I hear her say,_

_"You'd make your father proud."  
It echoes through the years  
As if I could forget  
All a mother's tears_

_Now you come around  
Now you come around  
Your familiar sounds  
We are your beautiful mistake_

_Now you come around  
Now you come around  
Back to this town  
We are your beautiful,  
We are your beautiful mistake_

_No, don't say a word  
Leave while you still can  
Put out your light_

_Now I guess you're going  
Your figure's through the door  
And your taillights faded  
Like twenty years before_

_Now you come around  
Now you come around  
Your familiar sounds  
We are your beautiful mistake_

_Now you come around  
Now you come around  
Just to hear your sounds  
We are your beautiful,  
We are your beautiful mistake_

_We are, we are, we are, we are, we are  
We are your beautiful mistake  
Your beautiful mistake  
Your beautiful mistake_

Her eyes were filled with unshed tears when she finished listening. He was right about one thing. She couldn't understand his childhood, because despite it all her family had been functional for much of her youth. There had been love and laughter, birthday parties and cake. He had never had that luxury. And dammit it shouldn't have been a luxury. It should have been a given. Her heart ached for the little boy he must have been, missing his father and wondering why he had been abandoned. And later on when he had acted out because there was no one to guide him. From the little bit he said about his mother, they weren't close either and she sensed that maybe Miriam Dutious blamed Tommy for his father's defection all those years ago. Jude felt, not for the first time, like a child again pretending she was grown. What experience did she have with this kind of soul wrenching heartache?

.

The metal fire door squeaked slightly as she opened it to the mist dampened night, his dark form illuminated by the light over the door. He was leaning with his arms against the railing, starting out into the nothingness of the brick building across from theirs and did not turn at the noise she made. His eyes closed when he felt her arms go around his waist, holding tightly, her cheek pressing against his back over his damp shirt. When he tried to turn in the circle of her embrace he had to physically unclasp her hands first so he could make the maneuver. Even in the dim lighting he could see the tear tracks dried onto her soft cheeks. Tommy bent his head down and rested it against her shoulder, breathing in her presence, letting someone hold him for once. When he finally felt her shiver he pulled back enough to kiss her forehead before leading them both inside into the dry warmth of the studio.

.

"What did Darius want in return for this?" Tommy asked as he dropped the papers, which felt like they were lined with lead, back onto the soundboard.

"Why do you think he wanted anything? He knows your music's good."

"From one song?" He scoffed and looked pointedly at her until she had to look away.

"I let him hear Love Remains the Same." She admitted softly.

"And that was enough for him to give me a contract no questions asked?" It could have been a battle of wills as their eyes continued long moments of contact, but Jude was not going to lie to him.

"He has first refusal when my contract's up." Meaning if her third album did well and it showed every indication it would, Darius would have the option of binding her to him once again. There would be no other avenues of pursuit to advance her career.

"Jude." The concern negated the almost scolding quality in his tone.

"It's not that bad."

"Jude with the way your career is going you could do better than G-Major any day. Plenty of labels want you, including bigger ones in the States. Did you sign something?" He glanced at her face, seeing the almost guilty expression so plainly displayed there and sighed wearily. Of course she had; this was Darius they were speaking of and the man always made sure you were bound nice and tight legally, Tommy knew that from bitter experience. Even when Darius had rejected Tommy's solo attempt he had refused to let Tommy out of his contract to pursue a different label. Those memories still burned in his gut. "Girl this is your future."

"Our future Tommy. Music and us together. What's so bad about that?" It was her gift to him and she could only watch him wearily, not wanting to, but still expecting him to dismiss it out of hand. He looked into her eyes and could see all the emotions she felt for him displayed on her delicate face.

"Let me think about it okay? I don't know if I'm really ready to put myself out there again." She nodded, encouraged at the faint ray of hope. He held his hand out and she put hers into it, he pulling her onto his lap and into his arms. "You're crazy Jude Harrison." She smiled sweetly at him and he could only shake his head, his mind still trying to wrap around the enormity of her gesture. How could he blame her for this impulsive act when she had so clearly put her heart into it? And he loved that gentle heart more than anything he had ever experienced.

"Can you stay over tonight?" Jude had started to go home on weekdays again, to be there for Sadie and also so the paparazzi did not have continual photos of them together. One tabloid had referred to the apartment as Tommy Q's 'Den of Iniquity', which even Jude had to admit was entirely hilarious. They were simply a couple in love, but of course that did not sell papers.

"Sure."

**

Jude pulled open Tommy's drawer and took out one of his t-shirts before heading to the bathroom to get ready for bed, while Tommy undressed. They were both emotionally drained and it was almost two in the morning. She did not look forward to school in the morning. When she came back in only the light of the street lamps lit the room and he was already settled in between the sheets with his arm resting behind his head. She climbed in under the covers and moved into his waiting arms. Her head fit on his shoulder and her fingers curled against his bare chest. The ritual was familiar and comforting, their breathing becoming rhythmic as they both drifted off.  
Jude was not sure what woke her, the light still barely showing the first hints of dawn, but then she felt the lips brushing against her cheek, then chin, then her neck.

"Tommy…" She complained sleepily as his hand slid the hem of her shirt up so he could touch her over her panties.

"I need you." The way he said it had her unable to refuse, there was strong need and vulnerability in the simple tone. His mouth continued it's attack on her neck as his fingers slid underneath her shirt to her belly, drawing small sensual circles as they traveled up. He brushed against the velvet of her nipple with the rougher skin of his palm, and she gasped softly. She raised her arms so he could pull her shirt off and his mouth fastened on one beaded nipple causing her back to arch in pleasure. He soon slipped off her panties and positioned himself between the juncture of her thighs, pressing in as his lips sought hers with a desperation she did not miss. She flinched slightly as he entered her, her muscles having not been given enough time to relax even though she was moist and hot. He paused, even if his much lauded control was practically nonexistent, but she urged him on raising her hips and wrapping her long slender legs around his torso.

"Keep going." She murmured as their eyes met in the dim light. She took the hands on either side of her body and laced her fingers through his, raising them so they rested above her head. He began to move slowly, trying to keep his emotions in check, but the need for her was too great and his pace started to slip. "It's okay." She whispered, her eyes never leaving his as she disentangled one hand from his, using it to wrap around the back of his neck pulling his head down into the crook of her shoulder. His breathing was harsh against her ear as his body strove for release, straining and sliding against hers in another endless ritual which neither of them would ever tire of. Jude felt the muscles of her lower body start to quiver and she raised her hips to meet his strong thrusts. They reached the edge of oblivion together, their cries mingling in the pre-dawn light and she held him tight to her, hoping he would know she would always be there for him.

"I love you." The words tickled her ear lobe, sincere and honest even though he had never been one to express his true emotions easily.

**

"Hey man you alright?" Kwest sighed heavily with his head in his hands, elbows on his desk. He looked up at his friend, who had poked his head in by the doorway, and shook his head.

"I talked to Sadie." She had confronted him after work last night and refused to leave until she'd had her say. His head was still a mess over the things she had said. "I can't freaking believe her! She had the nerve to tell me that maybe I didn't really love her if I couldn't forgive her! She turned it all around like I should just let it go. Like I wasn't the person she thought I was if I couldn't understand." Tommy eyed his friend quietly, reviewing his own relationship. "You have something to say?"

"She's right."

"What?! She almost took your relationship out too." Kwest was outraged and confused at his friend's composure as his own emotions grew wilder. The role reversal was not something Kwest had ever experienced and he didn't know how to deal with the roiling, churning building inside him.

"I just meant if you don't want to be with her, cut her loose. The way things are, it's just cruel." Tommy had seen the way he had used Marise to flirt with in front of Sadie and he hadn't expected it of his friend.

"You mean like how you cut Jude loose?" Kwest said it with an uncharacteristic bit of anger laced sarcasm. " I don't think so."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kwest shrugged.

"Nothing." He mumbled discontentedly.

"Just say it."

"Fine. What you did to Jude. You really think you let her go? She never, for one second, forgot about you and you liked that just fine. She never stood a chance of falling for someone else because you made sure you were always in her mind." As accusations went, this one was a complete surprise to Tommy. His intentions had been to protect her, even if couldn't be there in person for her. Had that made things worse for Jude?

"That's not how…" Kwest interrupted, possibly for the first time since they'd known each other.

"You have no idea what she was like after you left." Kwest shook his head remembering the girl with the broken heart who had no one to turn to. She had been so brave and lost and sad. "She had no one she could talk to. Did you ever ask her if that was the choice she would have made?" Kwest's dark eyes were heavy on Tommy's. "I'm not Jude. I don't know how to forget. I don't know how to let go of being hurt by someone I love and pretend everything's okay. You made sure she was mature enough to handle your relationship. But you have no clue about the price she paid." Tommy knocked his chair back as he stood up violently, hating the ring of certainty in Kwest's angry words. They glared at one another like adversaries, both hating the thread of truth in the other's words. He started to go when Kwest called out to him, making him want to slam his fist into his face.

"Don't take this out on her." Instead Tommy turned back one final time with his parting shot.

"I might have messed up with Jude, but I never did anything intentionally to her. I never hurt her on purpose. Sadie made one mistake. If you really love her, you'd make it work. That is… if you really want her." His words were cold and slightly disdainful as if he had lost respect for his friend. Love was worth fighting for; knowing Jude had taught him that much. Tommy left without a backward glance, more important things on his mind. What right did that womanizing asshole have, to judge him? He had used women for most of his adult life. Kwest tried to tell himself that Tommy knew nothing, but deep down he knew his friend might be right.

Kwest's words had a ring of truth to them, but there was one thing he was dead wrong about and that was what had Tommy's' stomach twisted into a knot. Jude might have forgiven him, but she had never forgotten. He had caught that haunting sadness more than once in her eyes. No, she definitely had not forgotten.

He couldn't change the past, but he could aim to make it up to her and earn her undivided trust, which he knew he still did not have. So what did she want more than anything right now? And the realization hit him with blinding force. She wanted him to accept that she loved him unconditionally and remembered that she had not walked away any of the times she must have wanted to. She believed in him and wanted him to live his own dreams.


	40. Chapter 35

_After this chapter there will be a slight jump into the future. _

****

Chapter 35

"Nice turnout." Tommy said slightly sarcastically, causing a small smile to form on Portia's face as he stood beside her. Darius was being honored by the police department for some civic award and of course he was trying to make the most of it. She knew how he hated events like this and nodded her understanding. They both looked towards the makeshift stage as Jude started to introduce Darius, but suddenly Karma was there in his place eager to sing her new song. Jude walked off the stage shaking her head at the girl who had practically ripped the microphone out of her hands and Tommy smiled at her even though he knew she couldn't see him towards the back of the lobby area. Portia saw his reaction to Jude and remembered that look from a long time ago. He had aimed it once or twice her way in the beginning, but then she had been replaced just as quickly with another woman he smiled for. Was that really just an excuse to salve her conscience though. Death because her husband did not love her? Her eyes followed the movement of his hand as he rubbed and tried to scratch his other arm through his suit jacket. He noticed her gaze and stopped, knowing he shouldn't be touching the area too much.

"The stitches are out and now it itches like crazy." Portia frowned at that reminder.

"Does it still hurt?" Tommy shook his head and looked past her, his attention captured so easily by something in the crowd.

"You really care about her don't you?" She followed his gaze to Jude who was now chatting with one of Darius's business associates. She was startled when he spoke again.

"Portia I know I never said it. It's probably too late now. But I just wanted to say I'm sorry…about the way I handled things back then."

"Tommy you don't need to…" Her conscience would not let her accept his apology, especially when her sins were so much greater than his.

"I want to. I know I hurt you and I'm sorry I was too stupid to care."

"Don't…I don't deserve it. We both did things we're not proud of." He eyes were quizzical as he looked down at her.

"What do you mean? What did you do?"

"Nn...nothing. Just all the arguments I started." He nodded his understanding and that undid her just that little bit more. She had never understood that phrase 'the walls closing in' until now. "Excuse me. I need some air." She said quickly and walked away from him at a fast pace. He watched her retreating figure get lost in the crowd and frowned at her odd behavior. Portia had never been a high-strung kind of woman; in fact it had been her down to earth attitude which had attracted him in the first place.

.

When she did not return, an instinctual urge to figure out the reason behind his ex-wife's nervousness drove Tommy into Darius's office looking for her. Her back was to the door, hands braced on the edge of Darius's desk as she appeared to be staring at the Boyz Attack plaque on the wall, lost in her own thoughts.

"What did you mean back there?" She did not answer him as the guilt overwhelmed her. She finally turned and brown eyes looked into blue. Hers were haunted by guilt and ghosts. She braced herself and opened her mouth to speak.

"It was me." The confession came out on a shaky breath, even though she was trying to hold it together.

"What?"

"It was my fault she's dead." He tried to make sense of her statement. How?

"What did you do Portia?!" He took her upper arms in his hands and shook her, not roughly, but firmly. She struggled away from him and he let her go, gaining only a modicum of control.

"I loved you so much." She said in an anguished voice. "I didn't want you to leave me. But I was so angry…so I…cut the brake lines to the Alpha."

Jude stood in the doorway, having come looking for Tommy after her emceeing duties had been completed. She was frozen as she realized what she was hearing. But there was no way Portia could have known Angie would take his car that night was there? The answer had her heart beating double time. She took a couple of steps into the room, neither of them yet noticing her presence.

"You bitch." They both turned to her in shock. "All this time Tommy tortured himself, and it was you." Portia winced as if struck and she had been, with Jude's piercing words. Tommy looked between them, his mind was in too much turmoil to calm his girlfriend down. He and Jude both came to the same realization though. It wasn't Angie that Portia had been trying to hurt. The thought chilled him to the bone.

"How did you get away with it? The police…" He managed to ask through an impossibly dry mouth. Portia was looking past him towards the doorway once more. "Darius." Tommy uttered as he stared at the big man standing there. He was the only one who could have made it all disappear.

"How could you? He blamed himself for years because of you!" Darius's eyes were startled at the vehement accusation in Jude's voice.

"You have a sister too. What wouldn't you do to protect her?" Jude's blue eyes were harder than he had ever seen them, demanding answers, making him uncomfortable and in turn making him defensive.

"Angie was someone's sister too. You let Tommy blame himself when it wasn't his fault!"

"It was his fault. He should have stayed away from Portia! Instead he married her. I knew he never really cared about her." The truth came out at the most unexpected intervals sometimes as his careful control came tumbling down. Darius still resented Tommy for something that would have been no more than a youthful indiscretion if it hadn't been for the death of an innocent girl.

"Because of her we almost died!" Darius scoffed.

"Don't be so overdramatic Jude. Except for a few scratches and stitches you're both fine." He perused them with a nonchalant manner that had Jude's temper raising another notch.

"Fine? Fine?! You tell Tommy that when I wake him up screaming because all I dream about is a knife running across my skin and his breath in my ear." Jude's arms went up, unconsciously hugging herself as a small shiver ran through her slender body. Tommy finally showed signs of life and flinched at her pointed words. She had always claimed she couldn't remember the nightmares that occasionally woke her at night and he realized maybe that was one of the reasons she had started spending her nights at home again, so that he wouldn't know how bad it was. Unnoticed by the arguing participants Portia had slipped out the door, unable to bear listening to everything dragged out once again into the open, unable to bear the guilt pounding down upon her. Tommy was in too much shock to argue with anyone, but he managed to hold himself together to get Jude out of the room before she said anything she would regret. Darius had gruffly told them to take the next two days off as he scanned the crowd for his sister.

**

Jude came into an unusually boisterous G-Major on Monday. The remains of the party were long gone, taken by the professional cleaning crew and everything looked as it should, but something in the air was different. Usually the relaxed faces indicated that the boss was out of the office, but she wondered where Darius could be. Jude looked towards the glass of Studio One to find a different producer in there from the one she had expected. She frowned knowing Tommy has scheduled studio time and walked towards his office instead. She entered without knocking, so used to sharing the space with him, to find him bent over a pile of paperwork. It was her hushed voice that finally raised his dark head from the desk. His smile was a little forced as he glanced up at her. Jude immediately walked over to him, leaning her hip against the desk.

"What's wrong? And where's D?" His mouth turned down and he sighed.

"I would have called you, but you were already in school when I found out." Jude's blood pressure shot up another notch at his dire words.

"What?"

"It's Portia. D found her unconscious in her apartment after the party Friday night. Apparently she OD'd on alcohol and Valium." Jude gasped as her hand went to her mouth.

"Is she okay?!" Tommy nodded and she sighed letting the air out of her lungs. "Did she…on purpose?" He shook his head and ran his fingers through his gelled hair, indicating to Jude that he was more rattled than he let on, because he never messed with his perfect hair.

"They don't think so. D said she was shaken up by the confrontation and she claims she forgot she had already taken the pills." He took her hand in his and she gave his a squeeze.

"Is there anything we can do you think?"

"No…Just keep this place running I guess. Sadie's helping. For once I kind of miss Liam." The rumors had it that Liam Fenway, the vice president had transferred to another division of G-Major, but Tommy knew he had simply cracked under the pressure of working under someone as demanding as Darius Mills and not getting any respect from the various artists who worked for the label. "D's taking a few days off to go with her to a private treatment center, maybe get her head on straight." Jude nodded solemnly.

"I was mad at her, but I didn't want this…" She trailed off not knowing how to finish her thought.

"I know. She'll be okay. She's just held it in for a longtime."

"I wish she had told you before." He met her eyes and shook his head.

"I don't know how I would have reacted back then Jude. I wasn't a good person."

"Yeah you were and are. That doesn't just change Tommy." She leaned down and their foreheads bumped. Jude was all business when she pulled back. "So let me help, put me to work Mr. Boss Man."

"Ooh baby we promised not to do that kind of work at the studio." She wrinkled her nose in amusement as he smirked at her.

**

Jude reflected on the last words the valedictorian for her class had said as she stood up along with her graduating class. Amy Stoddard had said something about taking this high school experience with you, learning from it and keeping it with you for the rest of your life. And Jude knew she had to disagree. Of course she was far from a normal high school graduate. Music had become her reality in a very solid sense. Most of her friends were met in the biz and even most of her high school friends were in the music scene. She had been working since she was fifteen and slowly school had become the play and she merely a bit player; not that she had been much more than that before she won the contest.

She was not Sadie to be the smartest girl and most popular in school. She was a famous singer and the tasseled caps falling at her feet made the whole thing seem even more surreal, especially when she spotted him through the crowd. She always sensed his presence, whether he had entered a room quietly or was one among a sea of faces. When their eyes locked she found her feet carrying her away from the folding chairs into his arms. He had drawn the attention of her classmates closest to them. And when he held her and his lips found hers they finally saw the truth. She mattered to him and maybe a few of them felt the pettiness of the spread rumors. To her it none of it was important any longer. This chapter of her life was closed for good and she didn't think for a moment she would miss it. Who would trade one second with him to be a normal teenager?

"So are you glad you didn't wait?" Jude grinned against his ear and it took him a moment for him to understand what she was asking. These last few months they had shared would never have happened if he had stuck to his original plan of coming back to Toronto after she was out of high school. His response was that little boy smile that still made her stomach knot in anticipation.

"So what are you wearing under this?" He fingered the voluminous royal blue robe, making sure to touch the body underneath as he did so. Before she could tell him her friends had circled them, dragging a laughing Jude away for pictures leaving Stuart, Tommy and Sadie watching them. Sadie was the first to break away from their small group. She had an appointment to keep and with typical self assurance pushed her way through the graduates towards her little sister who had just been put back on her feet by Spiederman. Sadie shook her head with a smile on her face. Jude's friends might be a little bit different, but they were loyal and they loved her. Jude grinned at Sadie, noticing the teenage boys taking in her perfect measurements not hidden my her short white and pale green patterned sundress.

"Hey congratulations baby sis." Sadie's smile was bright as they hugged. "I'm going to get going." Jude directed a sly grin at her sister.

"Don't wanna keep Kwest waiting huh?" Surprisingly enough Sadie's cheeks turned a slight shade of rose. Sadie had never been the type to embarrass easily, with her take charge attitude, but this time around the butterflies were back in her stomach and the anticipation heady. Maybe this time around they would really get to know each other better before diving in.

"It's just a picnic." They were taking things slow and this was their second date since they had agreed to try again. They talked long into the night on their first and it had felt right.

"Tell Kwest he better play nice." Sadie shook her head in amusement at the role Jude was trying to play as her protector.

"We're Harrisons sis. Since when do we like 'nice' men?" Kwest had finally grown a back bone and even Jude had to admit it gave him a certain extra appeal, not that she ever thought of Kwest in a sexual kind of way. Jude grinned as their gazes both shot to Tommy who was actually dressed simply in a black tee, black slacks with a black leather belt and silver buckle, custom sunglasses covering his eyes, looking like he was ready to belt out a rock ballad or assassinate some Mafia target. He was carrying on a conversation with Stuart and Jude loved that the two men were getting along since they were both so important to her and she was doubly glad now that she knew his situation with his own father. "Did you just lick your lips?" Sadie accused, seeing the motion from the corner of her eye. Jude blinked at her innocently and shook her head as her sister gave her a skeptical look. Sadie shook her head surprised that although Tommy did look good enough to eat, literally, there were no longer butterflies in her stomach when she thought of him. She had started to see who he was and knowing him as a human being instead of her idol had changed her view of him. Maybe Jude wasn't the only one who was finally growing up.

The family units and crowds of friends started to disperse to their various activities, some with graduation parties, others with late lunches. Stuart had insisted on taking Jude and her friends out for dinner that night, but for now Tommy was the one who had a claim on her time. They got into his Hummer, he being afraid of his other cars getting scratched in the school lot and waited as cars around them started to pull out. Jude was busy removing her robe when he turned to her and took off his glasses, focusing his intense eyes on her.

"I have something for you." She looked up at him curiously as she wiggled the rest of the way out of the yards of material.

He reached behind her seat and pulled out a plain white envelope handing it to her. She unfolded the familiar document and flipped to the last page, seeing his signature on the various lines. She held back the wide smile trying to break through. The papers dropped onto the console and she folded her arms in front of her giving him a skeptical look.

"My graduation gift is you accepting what I tried to give you?" Her sarcasm had his lips twitching.

"Let me get this straight. That's not what you wanted?" Jude looked away, unable to hide her happiness from his probing eyes. "What else do you want Harrison?" She leaned in close to his ear and her teeth grazed his lobe before she proceeded to tell him in explicit detail. He had still had a couple of promises to keep after all and she remembered the one to do with a day off and a bed quite vividly.

"Is that…" Wally asked Kyle as they stared up through the lightly tinted windows of the large SUV.

"Yep." Kyle agreed before he started to pull out.

"Dang." Wally replied and shook his head as he couldn't stop watching them.

"What?! Let me see!" Spied called from the backseat and stuck his head between his friends to see the couple in a lip lock that should have had a R rating.

"How far do you think they'll go?" Kyle asked as he looked through the rearview mirror.

"If you stopped we could find out!" Spied wailed; the subjects of his fascination getting smaller as they drove away.


	41. Chapter 36

_Alright the rest of the story will be a jump into the future. thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. ENJOY!_

****

Chapter 36

She shuddered above him, chest to breast as he thrust into her a gutteral gasp torn from his throat. He thrust one last time buried deep in her wet depths, throbbing within her as her body convulsed around him, holding him. His head raised to capture her lips, but she turned her head at the last moment and his mouth buried into her sweat glistened neck instead. Her release had left her completely vulnerable to the tumult of fears she kept hidden in the light of day. Jude could feel the wetness building behind her darkened blue eyes and she knew she couldn't let him see. The sheets slipped from her hips onto his thighs as she straightened after a long moment, and she swung her legs off of him, he sliding out of her body as she did so. Jude sat up suddenly and he opened his eyes in surprise.

"Where are you going?" He asked in what she had come to think of as his raspy sex voice.

"Bathroom." She was gone before he could respond and he fell back on the bed, pushing away a niggling feeling of unease. When she still hadn't emerged ten minutes later Tommy got up and knocked at the door.

"Girl you okay?" Jude had been staring at herself in the mirror until her face became a blur of parts, compounded by the tears stinging her cheeks. Once he had told her that the French called orgasm the petite morte and that he hadn't understood that until her. Did the pain she felt every moment in his presence relate to death? Or would she one day wish for it? She didn't want to be that person, but she could feel herself falling towards a precipice that she didn't think she could ever recover from. She loved him so much and it hurt to know that they weren't meant to be.

"Yeah. I'll be out in a minute." She called to him through the door, glad he hadn't tried to come in and question her on why she had locked it. Her hand went to her flat belly and that made her tears run that much faster. She had switched to the birth control patch from the pill not that long ago and on the fourth week when she was supposed to leave it off, her period had not shown when it was supposed to. Jude hated to admit it to herself even now that she had been foolish enough to believe she was pregnant. All she had been able to think about was what would happen if she told Tommy. She had actually been afraid he would propose and that was the first indication she couldn't keep denying the truth, that was there was something seriously wrong with the relationship she had come to believe would last. Because he would have been proposing for the baby and not because he wanted her forever.

She wished not for the first time, actually probably every single day since her twentieth birthday that she had never gone into his wallet that day when she had been looking for money to pay the pizza delivery guy. Because there were some things you just couldn't pretend you didn't know. And knowing meant that you had expectations of what would happen and when those events never transpire you find yourself dying a little each day. She ran the cold water and dampened a face cloth, pressing it to her reddened eyes to hide the evidence of her misery.

When Jude came out of the bathroom he had already turned off all the lights except his bedside one, casting the room in shadow and hiding her face from him. She slid in beside him and into his waiting arms where she settled comfortably after reaching over him to click off the lamp.

"Everything okay?" He asked sleepily, his lips against her hair.

"Fine." She responded closing her eyes, letting herself pretend that she had forever in the safety of his strong arms; that they would go on forever.

**

Tommy came out of the shower with sweats on, towel drying his hair as he glanced at Jude who had been too busy perusing the paper to notice he had come into the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee and when he sat down beside she jumped in surprise. He frowned as he looked at the ads she had circled.

"Why are you looking at apartments?" She couldn't meet his eyes as she answered.

"They're for Kat. She's transferring back here from New York." Her friend had been majoring in design in New York City, but found herself homesick and had decided to come back to Canada.

"Oh." He took a sip of the hot coffee and his hand reached out to touch her when she got up suddenly.

"I need to shower. Ian has me scheduled for a couple of interviews." Now that Jude's fifth album was complete she was doing so much publicity work it was mind numbing. She left behind a slightly puzzled Tommy as he skimmed what she had been looking at. The apartments she had circled seemed a bit pricey for a simple university student, but he didn't give it much thought as he flipped back to the front page.

**

It was actually slightly uncomfortable to be sitting here across from her mother as Jude took a nibble at her sandwich, having not had much of an appetite lately. It had been over a year since she had seen Victoria in Paris when Tommy has surprised her with a vacation. Victoria and her husband Don had just flown in to Toronto to celebrate his mother's seventy fifth birthday. It had supposedly been a good opportunity to connect with her daughters again, so here they sat trying to find their bond again.

They were mother and daughter, but at the same time strangers in so many ways. Victoria asked Jude how her food was and Jude did the same.

"So how's Tommy?" Victoria couldn't keep the thinly veiled scorn out of her voice. She had been shocked when they had shown up together to visit her; being in Europe had kept her from the continual tabloid coverage of her youngest daughter's very public personal relationship with Tom Quincy. She had always suspected that man had designs on her baby girl even in the beginning. He was too old for her and too worldly.

"He's good. Busy. We both are."

"It's too bad Sadie couldn't make it."

"Well she's been busy at work filling in for Darius since he's on vacation." They went through more mindless pleasantries when Victoria finally found an opening to gripe about how her eldest daughter was living.

"I never thought your sister would settle for living with someone. But at least you're smarter than that Jude. I'm just so glad you aren't rushing into anything with him. Take your time. There's so much out there, you don't want to be tied down by a divorce." Jude stared at her mother who had said the words nonchalantly, perhaps really having no idea how deep they cut her daughter. Jude would have rushed in, followed him anywhere if he had only asked. But she had to accept that that was not his decision. Victoria continued on about how one should never settle and Jude should be sure before she did anything she would regret.

"We don't have that kind of relationship." Saying it out loud had hurt far more than she expected and she bit the inside of mouth to keep it from overwhelming her. Jude's control of her emotions had been slipping for months now, so when she looked into her mother's eyes the other woman could see the raw sadness and pain lurking in the depths of hers. Jude saw the understanding dawning in Victoria's face and then what she interpreted as pity coloring her features. Jude stood up, scraping the legs of her chair against the tile. "I don't feel good. I need to go." Suddenly the large open room seemed claustrophobic to her.

"Jude honey…"

"I'll call you at the hotel." She practically flew out of the room, almost knocking over a busboy carrying a tray of water glasses. The call of her name by Victoria was lost among the bustle of the lunch time rush. She barely heard the maitre d offering his goodbyes to the famous singer. For a moment Jude felt like she couldn't breathe and she gasped as the cool air hit her face. She hated this person she was becoming and her mind and heart simply hurt.

She wondered how Victoria always managed to do that, make her second guess herself and bring all her weaknesses and doubts to the surface. She hadn't seen her mother in over a year and she had already reduced her to a sniveling child again. Jude felt like she had when Tommy had told her he was moving to New York, alone, with no one to turn to. But there was one person she thought might understand her thoughts on the future and she headed towards the familiar route.

**

She stood in front of her best friend's door, unable to lift her hand to knock, because she knew once she saw his compassionate hazel eyes she would fall apart. How long had it been since she had allowed herself that luxury? She had tried so hard to appear mature and strong for Tommy, but now as her world was falling apart she came to the realization that she was neither and couldn't find it in herself to even care.

Spied opened the door not really surprised that Jude was there, because she came over now and then, but the look on her face had him frowning.

"Dude you okay?"

"Are you busy? I mean you and Karma don't have plans or anything…" She trailed off lamely, needing a hug from her best friend. He pulled her into his apartment his arm around her shoulders as she leaned into him. Jude and Karma had never become friends, but they tolerated one another because of Spied.

"Karma and I are off right now." If Jude had more energy she would have asked how he could do that. He and Karma had gotten back together and broken up endless times in the last couple of years, and yet they always found each other again. He sat them both on his couch and stared at her until she felt uncomfortable under his scrutiny.

"Vin if you knew for sure that you could never see yourself with Karma, married, would you still…would you keep getting back together with her?"

"Wow…Dude. I'm only twenty." His response was typical for a young guy who didn't see himself getting tied down. She knew his views on marriage and they were much more serious than his laid back attitude belied. His parents divorce had been so bitter he had had to move in with his Uncle in the beginning of high school, so she knew he took marriage seriously. "Alright. Naww I probably wouldn't put up with her if I didn't see something I thought could last." Jude nodded and stared at her fingers. "What's going on Jude?"

"Nothing." She knew Spied wouldn't press unless she wanted him to and that was one of the reasons she loved him. "You busy?'

"Now? Jude nodded.

"Nope." Like Jude, Spied had just finished his album and they were both set to go on tour together, he opening for her.

"Wanna go apartment hunting with me?" He looked at her slightly surprised, but did not want to ask the question hanging in the air, somehow sensing, rightly, that it would upset her. "Ask." She said slightly wary.

"Why are you looking for your own place? You're practically living with Quincy anyway." Jude was still officially living at home, although it was true like Spied said she was always at Tommy's when both of them weren't working. When her eyes met his he was shocked at the naked emotion in them.

"He never asked." She looked away and shrugged as if it wasn't an issue, but he could tell she wasn't happy. "Anyway my dad finally decided to sell the house." She informed him trying not so subtly to change the subject. Her lunch with Victoria had left her more vulnerable than usual and she didn't really care if her friend saw what lay behind her eyes..

"What's wrong?" And he was the first person she had ever told the awful truth to.

"Quincy loves you." Spied had had his doubts, especially after Jude had come back from visiting Tommy's family way back when and she had been so devastated no matter how she had fought to keep it together. But that had been a while ago and Jude had seemed happy with Lord Squinty. Spied had always accepted that Tommy had the power to make her happier than anyone else could. Of course that was a double edged sword and Spied looked at his friend in worry. "What are you going to do Dude?" She gave a small smile at her old nickname.

"I don't know." But what Jude really feared was that deep down she did know what she had to do.


	42. Chapter 37 part 1

_As I'm nearing the ending of this story, I guess I won't hold the remaining chapters that I have hostage. I will post it when I feel like it even though my Word function doesn't work anymore which is really a pain. ENJOY! And thanks for following this for so long._

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Chapter 37 -Part 1

Tommy glanced at his watch yet again and sighed, tapping his fingers on the table as the waiter once again filled his water glass, giving him an apologetic look for disturbing him when he turned his light eyes up to the man in agitation. He picked up his cell phone and scrolled to her number, but once again after multiple rings was kicked to voicemail. They had decided on this date only three days ago as a bon voyage for her tour and he could not fathom that she could have forgotten. Yesterday he had barely gotten a brief moment with her when she had come in to the studio to pick up the plane tickets for her flight to the start off the concert series. Worry started to replace his impatience and he stood up suddenly. The overly officious waiter darted over immediately asking if something was wrong. Tommy shook his head impatiently and reached for his wallet, but the maitre d shook his head at the server and Tommy was told the single beer he had ordered was on the house. Normally his ego could not have stood being stood up, but he knew Jude would not do that to him without a good reason.

* * *

Jude felt nasty, the grime sticking to her sweaty skin. She didn't even want to scratch her nose, her hands were so dusty. But at least it was almost done. She sighed, already missing the house that had been her home for all of her twenty years. It was time to grow up though and let go and she hated how that thought paralleled the other thing she had to let go of. She froze suddenly as his Viper pulled up to the curb and he got out quickly, staring at the cardboard box in her arms before glancing at her already packed car, brimming with stuff. She dropped it on the hood of the Mustang before wiping her hands on her jeans.

"What are you doing here?" She berated herself mentally; that was really kind of cold and lame. His eyes were filled with puzzlement as he too in her disheveled appearance.

"Petaris?" He mentioned the restaurant they were supposed to meet at for their date; the one he had sat at for over forty minutes, starting to worry that something had happened to her.

"Oh geez. I'm sorry I forgot…"

"I tried to call…" He trailed off as he looked past her, something catching his eye.

"I left my phone downstairs…"

"What's going on Jude?!' He asked in disbelief, gesturing at the bright yellow lawn sign with Sold tacked on top. He had just jumped out of his car after pulling up to her house, relief that she was okay now replaced by confusion. "Why didn't you tell me about this?"

"It doesn't matter why." She said softly, her eyes shifting down to avoid his penetrating gaze.

"Let me get this straight. My girlfriend moving out of her house shouldn't be important to me?" The sarcasm in his voice made her want to wince.

"I'm not really hungry. Can we do dinner tomorrow and talk?" She wanted to pretend for just one more day that they were fine and in love and perfect.

"No Jude. We're talking now. What the Hell is going on?!" She sighed deeply bracing herself.

"I…This is….I didn't know how to say this to you, but…" He looked at her warily; she was rarely at a loss for words, but he could never have imagined the next sentence that came out of her mouth. She looked down at the green grass as she forced the words past her dry lips. "I'm going on tour and I think it's…" The lump in her throat felt like a softball as she swallowed hard.

"What? Just say it Jude."

"I think we should take a break." To say he had been blindsided by her statement was a massive understatement as his brain was slow to comprehend what she had just said to him because he had never in his wildest imaginings thought that she would end things, end them. He just stared at her unable to comprehend any of it as her eyes grew worried at his continued silence.

"Why?" The one word sounded harsh against the warm air. "Talk to me Jude!" He barked more loudly than he intended, startling her out of the numbness that had started to settle around her heart. Had she really just done it? Had she really just broken up with him?

"Maybe after the tour. Maybe the time apart will be good for us." Now that she was faced with having to give him an explanation he could understand without him guessing the truth and feeling sorry for her, she found she didn't want to talk anymore despite what she had offered a few minutes ago.

"You don't want me to come visit you on tour?" They had planned on Tommy joining Jude in a couple of weeks once he finished up the last of his work, knowing longer than that was hard for both of them as was proved when Tommy had left for his tour after his album. Darius had made it doubly hard for the couple last year, by extending Tommy's tour due to the popularity of the concerts.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Producers don't usually go on tour with their artists." Is that all they were now? He couldn't process her words. How could he?

"Right." He said in a strangled tone she had never heard from him before and he turned from her, walking away, unable to understand and hating the feeling of helplessness with a vengeance. Jude jumped when he slammed his car door shut and she could only watch with tear filled eyes as he pealed away without once looking back.

* * *

Tommy went back to the apartment and started really looking around for the first time. He had a weekly cleaning service, so nothing ever looked out of place, at least not for long. He walked over to the CD collection and scanned through them briefly, noticing that none of Jude's were there. She had replaced the holes by rearranging his own, so he would not notice. All of her DVD's were gone as well from the entertainment center shelf. The kitchen was next and he found her Pop Tarts in the cupboard, their favorite coffee in the fridge. She had left her shampoo and conditioner in the bathroom. He would have noticed if they had gone missing. He walked into the bedroom and opened the drawers he had designated hers. There was nothing in them except a couple of his shirts and boxers she had taken to wearing. She had bit by bit erased her existence from his life and he hadn't even noticed, he had been so preoccupied with work. He sat down hard on the bed wondering what had happened to them. Were there signs that he had missed, clues as to her withdrawal? He didn't know and it started to make his blood burn, confusion and vulnerability playing havoc with his senses.

* * *

It was past midnight but Jude had no plans of seeking her bed; instead she stared out her bedroom window, feeling empty inside and hating that she had hurt him. She hadn't meant to do it like that, but she had never really done this before and it had been harder than even she would have guessed. But for her own sanity she had to let go of him. She had become someone she found herself hating. She found herself questioning every smile he threw another girl's way, even though she knew that was simply how he was with women and that it didn't mean a thing. She wondered if maybe he was still looking, however unintentionally, for 'the one'. Jude hated herself for being this insecure emotional wreck. That had been Sadie's downfall and she would not let the same thing happen to her. If she was going to lose her relationship it would be on her terms. So Jude had deliberately made plans to let go of him, believing the tour would be the perfect way to put the distance necessary between them and as her heart broke she could at least say she knew what she was doing.

Moving lights from the street caught her eye, and she spied the small car pulling to the curb in front of the house. Even though it was an inky dark night, she would know that vehicle anywhere. Although her dad didn't know it Tommy had a spare key, just in case, as was wont to happen now and again she locked herself out. She couldn't hear the click of the front door from up here, but thought she could feel his presence getting nearer. The footsteps on the stairs confirmed her belief and she found herself bracing for the confrontation. She drank in his familiar form in the doorway, knowing it could be one of the last times she saw him before she left and took in the bruised eyes and messy hair, feeling a stab of concern quickly followed by guilt. He entered the room and pulled the chair out from under her desk to sit and she wasn't sure if it was for her benefit or his that he kept that distance between them.

"Why Jude?" He sounded tired as he gazed at her with fathomless eyes, darkened in her dimly lit room. It was her turn to speak, but she found herself hesitating, gathering her nerve.

"I don't want to stay around wondering when you're finally going to meet her." She finally said.

"Who?! You're not making sense Jude." He asked in frustration. She could be so…!

"The 'one'. Your soul mate." He should have said soothing words at that point, should have explained that she was his soul mate, but instead in typical Tommy fashion he went on the offensive instead of comforting her.

"You're breaking up with me because of some mythical woman that doesn't even exist? So that I won't leave you? What kind of stupid twisted logic is that?"

"You're calling me stupid?! Maybe you're right. I wasted so much time thinking we were meant to be together, while you were just…" She couldn't finish the sentence, it hurt too much.

"I was just what Jude? Loving you? Sharing my life with you? Say it Jude - what was I doing?" She shook her head, her lips clamped tight. His blood began to boil, so he stood and took her upper arms to shake an answer out of her. "Say it Jude." He said it more forcefully this time.

"Passing time." She spat out and his hands dropped away in stunned shock.

"How can you say that?" He said through lips gone numb.

"It wasn't exactly hard for you to let me go before." She regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. What was the point in fighting or bringing up the past? She didn't know anymore. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that…" He was silent as she looked over at him finally, his hands were clenched into such tight fists the knuckles had gone white. He stood above her, but he had never intimidated her, not even now when she could feel his heavy emotion flavoring the very air.

"You'll never forgive me for doing that will you? You were barely sixteen!"

"I know."

"No you don't!"

"You know what Tommy. I might not have agreed with you back then, but I know now I wasn't ready for 'us', not for the long run anyway." She shook her head, her eyes downcast. When she looked up her eyes were blazing. "But you weren't ready either. So don't make it sound like it was all for me."

"How can I fix it if you won't believe anything I say?" He said in exasperation, still not sensing the seriousness of her words, not believing that she really meant it. She had always been impetuous and sure none of their fights had ever caused her to break up with him before, but he thought she was just going through something, still not taking it with the gravity it deserved.

"It's not broken."

"Well something's obviously wrong. My girlfriend just dumped me out of the blue without any warning."

"It's not broken Tommy. It's just over." It finally sank in to his psyche that she was serious, that she meant every word she said and he was finally afraid.


	43. Chapter 37 part 2

_Okay I know this has surprised a few of you, but you have to remember they've been together for two years now and it's not going to be like the euphoria of when they first got together. Tommy is good at self destructing as we all know so I was wondering how they would get along for this long. Don't get me wrong they were happy, but they weren't ever the best at communicating. So anyway ENJOY! There are only two more chapters after this and then an epilogue._

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Chapter 37 - Part 2

Sadie knocked lightly on the door that was partly ajar and popped her head in to see him slumped with his head in his, elbows on his desk. He barely glanced up at her entrance and she took in the unshaven face with concern, the papers he was supposed to sign were forgotten in her slender manicured fingers.

"You can't be missing my sister. She hasn't even left yet." She asked in a teasing tone, wondering briefly why he wasn't spending Jude's last day in Toronto with her instead of at the studio. Normally they were inseparable. He looked up at her words and all she could see was devastation etched into his face and pain in his eyes. She gasped. "Oh my God Tommy. Is Jude okay?! What happened?!"

"She broke up with me." Sadie had to sit down, the news was so impossible. Jude loved Tommy more than even her music.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything Sadie. I…" He shook his head.

"What did she say?"

"That we had been together too long and she wasn't in the same place she used to be. She said she wasn't the one for me. I went to your house to find her because she missed our date and saw the Sold sign on the lawn. She didn't even tell me she had to move Sadie."

"That explains that at least." Sadie half said to herself. Tommy gave a quizzical look. "I wondered why she started looking for her own apartment. I mean she spends most of her time at your place anyway…" Then she thought back to her mother's visit and Victoria's insistence that Sadie tell Jude how sorry she was for upsetting her. Sadie had asked Jude about it, but Jude had said it was nothing, just typical Victoria. She wondered if that had anything to do with Jude's sudden decision.

"You knew?!" He commented, apparently everyone important in her life did but him.

"Well sure. SME and Jamie helped her with some furniture…" Everyone still called Spied, Kyle and Wally SME even though the band had broken up a while back when Spiederman had gone solo. Sadie trailed off seeing the effect her words were having on the man in front of her. "There's got to be a reason Jude did what she did. Are you sure nothing happened between you? There wasn't someone else was there?" He was Tommy Quincy and women constantly threw themselves at him. so to her it had been a valid question.

"God Sadie no! She knows I would never cheat on her. I love her." It sounded strange to Sadie too. If Jude and Tommy were having problems she figured her sister would have told her. Even she, knowing Jude all her life, couldn't possibly guess that she was ashamed to admit that her boyfriend didn't really want her.

"Come on Tommy there must have been some hint."

"She started finding excuses to avoid spending time with me. I mean we're both so busy I didn't notice it at first…But I swear I don't know why. Then she gave me some bullshit reason that she wasn't 'the one' for me, like she just knew." He still didn't understand where that conviction had come from, at least once his thoughts had been coherent enough to actually think about what she said.

Something just didn't add up. Sadie thought back to right before Jude's birthday, and that there was every indication things were going great for her. Her sister had been so happy almost euphoric, Sadie had insisted she tell her why. Jude told her she found a jeweler's slip for a diamond ring that had a rush order on it to be done before her birthday. But when the expected announcement never came she asked Jude what had happened and Jude had told her she had been stupid, had laughed it away and made a mistake, that Tommy had ordered a diamond watch for himself.

"Did you buy a watch from Berrard Parish's before Jude's birthday?" He looked at her strangely and shook his head. He had made a purchase from the exclusive jewelry store, but it had not been a watch. "Was it an engagement ring?"

"How did you…?" Sadie sighed. Poor Jude. She could not imagine how devastated she would have been when Tommy had not proposed on her birthday or even later on.

"She told me she found the receipt in your wallet. You changed your mind though…" How would Jude have felt waiting for the question that never came on her birthday? At that point she probably still would have had hope, but time went on and nothing was mentioned. No wonder she had started blowing him off.

"I…." He had planned to propose on her birthday, but had chickened out that night. He was afraid of ruining the best thing in his life by changing it, afraid their relationship would change. Then he had convinced himself he just needed another opportunity, waiting, until time slipped away and it got harder to bring up what he had meant to do; it got easier to just let things be. She knew, Jude knew about the ring. The thought hit him like a bolt of lightning. She had never let on she knew. She had held it in until she couldn't take it anymore. Fear overtook him. She was serious about leaving him and had no intention of trying again.

"No wonder she broke up with you. I'm surprised it took her this long." As per usual Sadie stated something too bluntly and her lips clamped shut when she saw what was written in his beautiful eyes.

"She knew? How long?"

"Since before her birthday." Sadie puzzled some more as Tommy brooded. "That's probably why she never told you about dad selling the house. She didn't want you to feel obligated to ask her to move in." And now she didn't want to be with him at all, thinking he didn't really want her. And she was free to be with anyone she wanted on the road. He had let his own insecurities hurt the woman he loved and he hated himself even more for it.

"I know she loves me. Why would she leave?"

"I think she's tired of being the one fighting all the battles." Maybe she had had to tell him one too many times that they belonged together. Maybe hearing only her own voice finally began to make her doubt. Isn't that what she had said? That she wasn't the one, his 'one' even though he was hers. Did she let him go because she did love him? Or because she had begun to stop? "And I think deep down she wonders if she's enough for you." Tommy shook his head. How could she not know? He was the one who wasn't good enough for her.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Sadie was shocked to see the defeat in his face and she bristled instinctively.

"What can I do Sadie? This was her choice." All his old insecurities came back to the surface. Maybe Jude was better off without him. All he ever seemed to do was hurt her. And what he wanted most was for her to be happy, because…he loved her--with a soul searing intensity that had awed him in its magnitude. He had never thought he would find someone he would put first without question.

"And you're so sure that's what she wants?" Sadie said it like she knew some deeper wisdom that he did not and it put him immediately on the defensive, his nerves already frayed from Jude's abrupt departure from his life.

"She asked me to let her go Sadie." She shook her head, feeling the slightest hint of pity for him. Even though he had hurt Jude in the past, he genuinely loved her.

"Tommy don't you get it? She would have said yes. Do you even get what that means? You really believe she just stopped loving you, just like that?" Sadie would have bet her paycheck that Jude loved him as much as she ever had. It must have killed her to break up with him.

She would have said yes. That's all he really heard. Jude did want him. Was his faith in her, in them, so easily shaken that he had believed she had stopped caring, had let her convince him she didn't want him anymore. The chaos of his muddled mind paralyzed him.

"You're just going to let her go?" She interrupted his tumultuous thoughts, shocked that he didn't seem interested in doing anything. He simply stared at her and her anger built at his inaction. Sadie made to get up and Tommy looked up at her.

"You're leaving?"

"I don't think the pity party's big enough for two of us." Sadie tossed the papers on the desk with a little more force than necessary. "Sign those." She stalked out with a heavy staccato beat from her heels. Although the two sisters did not look all that much alike apart from the blond hair and blue eyes, the fire she had just exhibited reminded him of the other all over again.

****

　**

"Jude how could you not tell me you were breaking up with Tommy?!" Sadie's voice was loud over the line. She flipped her hair back and felt in her bag for her car keys, holding her phone between her ear and shoulder as she unlocked the door.

"Why? You still interested?" Jude felt instantly guilty and there was a moment of profound silence as she waited for the dial tone. What she just said had been unforgivable and completely off the mark she knew. Sadie was more shocked than angry because Jude had to be hurting the worst way to lash out like that. Jude was the least malicious person she had ever known, preferring everyone around her to be happy, even those she didn't know well. Sadie sat back hard in the driver's seat and automatically put the key in the ignition. She immediately hit the volume button to turn it off when music came blasting out of the speakers.

"Jude! What the…."

"I'm sorry…." Jude said in a little girl voice that immediately erased Sadie's anger.

"I'm coming over. Now!" Sadie said in no uncertain terms.

"No. It's okay Sades…"

"Five minutes." With that Sadie hung up and did an efficient U-turn to head in the opposite direction towards the house.

**

They sat in the kitchen on the counter bar stools, in what once used to be the center of their household, drinking coffee that Sadie had picked up on the way over. Sadie looked around, the emptiness of the room except for a few pieces of furniture, was almost surreal, even if she had not lived there in a longtime. She had cleared out the rest of her old things days ago, but Jude of course had not been nearly as well organized, just now finishing the last of her packing. Jude noticed her sister's perusal as she sipped the warm beverage, that did nothing to warm her iced heart.

"Strange huh?" Sadie looked back at Jude and nodded her agreement.

"So really, what's going on with you Jude?" Jude shrugged nonchalantly and Sadie narrowed her eyes.

"Nothing's going on Sadie."

"Jude you're my sister and I'll support you in anything -But are you positive you want this? I know you still love him." And Jude admitted to herself at least, that she would never stop. "You still love him." Sadie reiterated with conviction as she saw the naked emotion play in Jude's expressive eyes. There were traces of hurt and sadness, but no relief that her relationship was over. "He loves you too."

"We've been an important part of each other's lives for a longtime. It doesn't mean we're supposed to stay together."

"We're talking about love Jude. That's rarer than you think." Jude had that stubborn jut to her jaw indicating she wasn't going to budge on her stance.

"Can you watch him with someone else?" There were plenty of women who had wanted him when he been just a former boybander, but now with his fame restored it had grown to epic proportions. After his album had released last year, his name had been back in the spotlight in a big way and there was no shortage of women who recognized Tommy Quincy and made themselves available to him. In fact a few of his fans had attacked him with a vengeance after one of Tommy's concerts and extra police had had to be called in to prevent a riot. The ex-boybander was back as a sex symbol, with a vengeance.

"You think this is easy for me Sades?"

"No…" Sadie said softly, hearing her that slight hitch in her sister's voice.

"It's time to grow up. I just have to accept we weren't meant to be together."

"Jude, Tommy was an idiot, but he does want you. The marriage thing…maybe it's just too soon. You're only twenty; what's the hurry?"

"Sadie he had a rush order placed for a ring he had designed, stating it had to be ready before my birthday. Tell me what that means when I haven't even seen it or heard about it? It's been months." Sadie couldn't explain it away and had never gotten close enough to Tommy to guess at his behavior. Jude sighed and rolled her shoulders wearily. "He changed his mind okay? I accepted it. It's not his fault. We can't force what's not there. Now we both just need to move on."

"Jude he loves you!"

"Just because he loves me, doesn't mean he wants to spend the rest of his life with me! And I deserve someone who needs me as much as I need them!" Jude snapped out and inhaled sharply to calm herself. She took a small sip of the lukewarm coffee even though it held no appeal to her at the moment, tasteless to her.

"It's okay to need someone Jude." Sadie studied her intensely. When had her sister changed so much, become so independent she fought the urge to lean on someone else?

"What for? They always leave." It was said without the barest hint of emotion and it spiked Sadie's worry for her sister even more. When had Jude become so pessimistic? They sat quietly again, soaking the final moments they would be in this house that had once been their home. Jude didn't know where that was for her anymore.

"Relationships can be hard."

"You think I don't know that?" There was a snap to Jude's reply and Sadie knew she had to proceed with caution.

"No, you do." Jude looked out the window at the fading light in the backyard. "Are you doing this because he's not ready to marry you?"

"No." Jude shook her head and once again those weary eyes focused on Sadie's. "Because I stopped seeing it too." That had terrified her more than anything and she knew she couldn't live that way.

"What?"

"Us in the future…Together."

"Will you be okay? The tour…" Jude gave her a small smile.

"Don't worry big sis. Spied'll keep me company." She was doubly glad he would be there, first he could use the exposure and secondly he was a surprisingly good listener.

"Jude you and Spied aren't…" Sadie said with some alarm. She had never been the type to have all male friends like Jude did and didn't quite understand their dynamic. It took a moment for Jude to understand what Sadie was asking.

"Sadie! No! He's my best friend! He knows I would never do that to him again. Besides he's head over heels for Karma." The sisters shared a shudder at that thought, neither of them having been treated well by the diva. Although Karma had a loyal following, she had not gained the superstar status she had always craved and in small ways she sometimes showed her resentment towards Jude who's career had always been much stronger. Sadie could barely get her mind around the fact that Spied had known he had been a rebound, yet the two of them had worked past that and were now closer than ever.

"Have you and Kwest ever talked about it?" Jude finally had the nerve to ask.

"Yes." Sadie said reluctantly not wanting to admit she suspected he would ask her soon. They had discussed a lot of things, what kind of house they wanted, whether they preferred the city or the suburbs better, even children had come up.

"See all couples talk about stuff like that." But she and Tommy had somehow always avoided topics that leaned towards permanence. The only future they had ever seemed to talk about was music. Oh and fixing up those old bikes he had bought for them to work on.

"Jude that doesn't mean…"

"Sades." Jude shook her head. "I thought I was supposed to be the idealist." Sadie didn't know what to say to that because Jude's relationship had always been so powerful and yet apparently too much had been left unspoken. She looked at her sister worriedly, not knowing if she was really okay no matter what she claimed. Jude loved him with everything in her and yet - she had let him go.

　**

Tommy walked into his apartment, knowing she wouldn't be there, yet a small part of him had hoped. He sat down heavily on his couch, sitting back wearily. It wasn't like their relationship had all been smooth sailing, but he had foolishly thought that it was strong despite all the obstacles that they had had to overcome. He remembered that time shortly before she turned nineteen when he had been called back to his hometown. His brother Tristan, who had been their mother's primary caregiver, had gotten a job on a fishing boat and told Tommy to take the slack, having been the only one who had dealt with her for years. Miriam Dutois had Korsakoff's disease or less politely put alcohol-related dementia and was unable to remain alone for any length of time. He barely remembered a time when she had not been a drinker, but it had gotten much worse when his father had left them when he been nine and Tristan eleven. These were the last skeletons in his closet that he had been afraid to tell Jude about, afraid she would finally see him for the uneducated kid from a small town that he had been, whom even his mother had been unable to love. She had wanted to go with him, to see where he came from, to meet his family and they had ultimately fought about it.

Finally she had let him leave on his own and set about finishing her third album on her own. Jude being Jude however had decided that she would be there for him, knowing he was having a hard time being there with Miriam. She had shown up without warning and secretly he had been glad to see her, but in a matter of days he had pushed her away, hard. She had agreed to go back to Toronto and left him only a letter. He had held on to that letter because it had meant so much to him.

.

__

Tommy,

I know you're going through a lot with your family and honestly I only wanted to be there for you, but I understand now that I should have given you your space. You're right that there are things about you I still don't understand. Maybe you'll tell me someday. Just know that I will be back home waiting for you whenever you're ready. Call me if you need anything.

All my love,

Jude

P.S.

No matter what anyone else says, I see you and that's the person I love. Remember that Quincy.

.

He had held out for a grand total of three days before he had gone flying back to Toronto, asking his cousin Soleena to watch after his mother while he fixed the biggest mistake of his life. He knew he had hurt her unbearably, simply by the old wariness that had come back into her eyes. Over the months of their relationship he had finally been able to erase the look in the depths of her blue orbs, and brought it back with that simple trip into his past. This time that wariness had not left, even now before she had left on tour, he had occasionally caught it haunting her. But she had not been angry at him, had in fact given him all the comfort she knew how to and welcomed him into her arms when he knew he did not deserve it. He had had to go back to New Brunswick again, but this time he had kept the lines of communication open with Jude, making sure she knew he wasn't going to shut her out again. Then he remembered when he had finally come back from his hometown for good. He had had to place Miriam in a nursing home with full supervision after she had almost burned down the kitchen with a lit cigarette.

He had gone back to Toronto as soon as he could and that night he had simply wanted to drink that visit away. Jude had been waiting there, saying nothing and simply joining him. She had admitted something she had never said over the phone and probably would never have told him had she been sober. She told him that she hadn't been sure he would return or that when she had left that they were even still together. In the cold light of day he found himself too cowardly to confront her on her doubts and hurt, letting her think he didn't remember her words, but he would never forget how he had hurt her again no matter how she pretended she was simply glad he was back.

Of course now he realized maybe the damage he had done to her had been irreversible. She had not believed like she used to. She trusted he loved her, but he knew that she had learned that it wasn't necessarily enough to make their relationship work. It had been he that had taught her this bitter lesson and he now knew he should have seen the signs.

Sadie was right, Jude had fought for them more than he ever had. He had taken her love for granted, grown complacent to her continued presence in his life and now all he had left was a diamond ring he had been too much of a coward to give to her and an empty apartment that often felt like a tomb without her presence in it, even the studio, which had always been his solace had her ghost haunting its rooms. He couldn't stand to be here anymore, where her presence lingered so heavily, so he stood and grabbed his car keys once again heading out the door.

**

Jude had found an old box of photos in the attic from the family's early days and was looking through them, not remembering ever having seen them before. Music played in the background from an old radio she had found in the garage. There was a tap at the door and it opened as Jude looked up from her spot on the floor. Jamie popped his head in and she smiled at him.

"I saw the light." Jamie still lived in his Nana's home next door, since he was concerned about her being alone now that she was getting older and last year his girlfriend had moved in also. He raised his right hand, that held a paper takeout bag with delicious scents wafting from it and then he raised his left that held a clear plastic bag with an assortment of gummy candies. "For old times?"

"Is that from Dragon Kitchen?" He nodded and walked over to her, placing the bags on the floor. "You're awesome." Jude gave him a one armed hug and he grinned as he sat down beside her. The rest of the furniture from the living room had already gone to Goodwill so the only place to sit had been the carpet. Jude wiped her hands on her jeans and looked over at her old friend.

"So where's Zep?" She asked of his girlfriend of almost two years, Zeppelin, who was found to be the long lost daughter of the famous rocker, Paegan Smith. She had come looking for her father when Paegan had been signed with G-major and had met Jamie while they'd been starting their own record label

"She went home to visit her mother. She said she was sorry she was gonna miss saying goodbye to you."

""When you talk to her tell her I said hi." He nodded and started to unpack the Chinese food he had ordered from the their favorite place growing up.

"This place looks so weird empty like this." He commented, noticing the lighter squares of paint on the wall where their pictures once hung. He had been a constant at the Harrison household while they had been growing up, so this had been like a second home to him.

"Tell me about it." She grinned as he handed her the shrimp lo mein and a pair of chopsticks. They ate in companionable silence for awhile, relaxed in one another's company.

Jude and Jamie were lying on an old blanket, Jude had found in the linen closet, out on the back lawn staring up at the stars. For many summers they used to camp out in the backyard and write music. It had been a longtime since they had been out here together, probably since Victoria had said they were getting too old to have sleepovers. Jude had not understood what she meant back then and still really didn't. He had been good old reliable Jamie, almost brother and best friend. Of course back then she hadn't known he wanted anything more than friendship. She wondered briefly when precisely had he fallen for her, but strangely enough did not voice the question out loud. Jude had brought the radio with them and soft music drifted through the warm early summer night. Jude turned her head and studied her friend's profile. He seemed oddly pensive.

"What's wrong?" He turned his gaze on her a little surprised she could still read him; they hadn't been nearly as close as they had once been.

"Zep's pregnant."

"Are you happy about it?"

"Yeah of course. I love Zep to pieces."

"But?"

"No buts, it's great. I'm just thinking I guess." He studied her face cast in shadows. "Were there any chances you ever wished you'd taken?" And he realized as soon as he had said it, that she was the wrong person to ask. She'd always jumped in head first and taken everything she wanted.

"I guess." She said it to humor him.

"Sometimes I think about if I had had the guts to tell you how I felt…Before the contest. Would we have had a chance?" Had he missed an opportunity somewhere down the road?

"Come here." Jude rested her head on her hand, elbow resting on the grass. He obeyed leaning in closer. She took her other hand and pulled him yet closer, her lips finding his, pliant and yielding. She pulled back and stared at him. "What do you think?" Her eyes had not been touched by their physical contact even if his pulse had sped up at the contact. Jamie sighed heavily and let his head fall back onto the blanket. He would always be a little in love with Jude Harrison; she had after all been the first girl he had ever fallen for, but he could accept his role in her life now. They were never meant to be more than friends.

A little while later an old Jude Harrison song came on and she flinched involuntarily.

"Could you change that?" It was Time to Be Your 21. It fit the quiet night, soft and easy, but she didn't want to be reminded. He didn't make a move instead pondering the lyrics.

"This was about him, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." She admitted reluctantly. It was always about him.

"How many of your others?"

"Enough."

"The minute you met him it was too late. You could never see past him." Maybe only some people were equipped to feel that deeply and passionately, he never thought he had, but people like Jude and Patsy, they had done things with their whole beings, been willing to give all. It was a strange thing for Jamie to think about now. She didn't respond to his comment, even though she had always known that truth.

"I should probably get going." Jude said suddenly, sitting up. "My flight's in the morning." He stood up first and helped her to her feet. He followed her into the house as she picked up the last of her things and locked the door behind them. Jamie walked Jude to her car and they said their goodbyes with hugs as he wished her well on her tour.

"This was nice. And tell Zeppelin congratulations for me." Jude smiled at him from the drivers seat, arm resting on the open window.

"I will. So when's Quincy joining you?" He stepped back as she started the car.

"We broke up. See you James." She called to him as she shifted and set the vehicle in motion leaving him on the street, wondering after his old friend. Had she grown more complicated or had he just missed all those layers she held?

**

Tommy woke up to his alarm clock blaring Quiet Riot and grinned at Jude's choice of radio station before remembering. When he did, his hand slammed on the button, knocking the clock off the nightstand instead. His head pounded mercilessly; he couldn't remember the last time he had had this much to drink, but then he did remember and it made his heart clench. It had been when he had come back from New Brunswick a couples of years back and he remembered how she had held him, centered him, even as his own callousness had hurt her more than she had been willing to admit.

He had almost had it all, the chance to prove he could be taken seriously as a solo artist, and he had accomplished that goal, and love that defied odds and logic from a woman that constantly kept him challenged. Because of her he had achieved that first dream and now because of his own demons he had lost the second. After his first album had been released he had been in no hurry to start on the second once he had proved he could do it. He liked his place behind the soundboard working with Jude on her career and he knew everything he accomplished could in some way be attributed to her. Without her would any of it mean anything?

His eyes found the alarm on the floor, still miraculously plugged into the wall and his pulse hammered through his skull. He didn't have much time to get to her and his body was sluggish to obey as he stood up, pulling his clothes off the floor he got dressed in record speed.

　**

Jude and Spied sat a chair apart in the First Class VIP lounge of the airport, she idly reading a magazine as he listened to his iPod. Both of them had guitar cases lying at their feet and she was amused by it somehow. She turned her head from the seat at the sound of her name being called to see him hurrying towards her at a quick pace. When he reached her he was slightly out of breath. She drank in his disheveled appearance and night's growth of stubble. It still gave her a rush when she saw him after any length of time.

"Jude you can't go like this." Spied wisely got up, took his things and walked away from them. Most of the rest of the few people in the room were business men and likely didn't even recognize the famous couple. His hand fumbled a little in his jacket pocket and she was afraid what he would produce.

"Don't Tommy." Jude begged, but he got down on one knee in front of her anyway, refusing to hear the pleading in her voice, his hand pulling out the small jewelers box from his jacket. "Please don't do this." He took the ring out and held it out to her between index finger and thumb. She did not want to see it now, had never seen it and yet her eyes were drawn to the sparkling diamond, unwillingly sure, but something about it mesmerized her.

Jude wasn't like other girls and in this one area she more than proved it. Any other woman would have searched Tommy's apartment high and low for the diamond ring he had supposedly purchased, but she did not. At first she had wanted to be surprised, and then later she hadn't wanted to see it ever, because all it would do was hurt and remind her of something that would never happen. That was when she really knew she couldn't stay.

"Marry me?" She shook her head as tears filled her eyes. Jude could not seem to get enough oxygen into her lungs. She felt lightheaded as she looked down at his blurry figure before her. "I thought this was what you wanted Jude." He said in confusion taking in the devastation tormenting her eyes.

"But it's not what you want." They were such simple words, but they broke her heart all over again. When would this end? She wailed in her mind.

"Of course I…"

"Tommy you couldn't even ask me until I broke up with you. Until you knew I'd found out about the ring." She interrupted him. "And even if I said yes. I don't want to be that bride at the church wondering where her groom is. You don't want this and there's nothing wrong with that. But I can't be with you. I'll always be there for you if you need me --But I can't do this." The tears were falling freely down her face now, making her mascara run. "You know what the funny thing is? I didn't even think about marriage until I saw that receipt, but once I thought about it, it felt right." She wiped the wetness away with her sleeve, barely noticing they had stained the material. "I guess I was wrong about that too."

"Jude I love you. You're the only one I ever wanted. Believe me. Please." She shook her head obstinately. Spied called her name from the other side of the room, near the entrance and she nodded at him. Boarding would be starting soon for their flight and it was past time to head towards the gate. She stood up and started to gather her stuff together.

"Jude don't do this." She couldn't know how hard this plea was from him, because of all the time his mother had withheld her love from him growing up, he had refused to ever ask for affection. "Jude I…" She touched his cheek lightly and to him it felt like it might very well be the last time if he couldn't make her believe.

"It's okay…You'll be fine." Without me, was left unspoken. And the worst thing of all was that he could see it in her eyes that she really believed it. She truly thought he didn't need her. He didn't know how to tell her, had never learned that particular skill of sharing his deepest emotions, having spent most of his life thinking that was for fools and suckers. He had never let anyone in completely and although she knew him best he hadn't been able to let her see all of him either.

That ineffectiveness was killing him now as he watched her ready to turn away.

"I have to go." She leaned in and kissed his cheek softly. "I'll see you Quincy." But it sounded exactly like what it was; goodbye. She turned her head and put her sunglasses on before he could see the wetness threatening her vision. And in less than ten seconds she was out of his life, her long legs carrying her through the entryway.


	44. Chapter 38

****

Chapter 38

She hadn't heard from him in over three weeks, twenty three days and thirteen hours to be precise, not since she had last left him staring after her at the Toronto airport. And even though she wasn't supposed to worry, her refusal of his proposal denying her that right, she did think about him, wondering if he was okay. The only time she got any relief from his ghost was when she was up on stage, but that of course was a brief respite. When she had called Sadie last week to say hi, even though she hadn't come right out and asked, Sadie had known what she wanted. She had told Jude that Tommy had finished up the last of his work and had taken the time off he had originally been planning to take to join Jude on tour. He had told no one where he was going. It was so like him to just take off. Jude had to remind herself yet again she had no right to demand he keep her informed about what he did with his life anymore and it hurt, a dull throbbing pain through her chest.

Jude found herself staring at her cell phone, torn between calling him and wanting desperately for it to ring. She knew she would miss Tommy, but could not have fathomed it would be this bad. Questions filled her scattered brain, inundating her with no answers. Where was he? Was he already moving on or did he think of her too? Jude felt so guilty at the way she had left him at the airport, but what would have been the alternative? Saying yes--when all she had were doubts, doubts that he had not once bothered to assuage. She put her phone down on the dressing room table and looked into the mirror, not really seeing herself in the reflection. There was a tap on the door to signal the time and took a deep breath, fingering the platinum pendant around her neck. She put it away, tucking it into her shirt, like a gesture to put him out of her mind for the moment.

**

There was no sudden epiphany for Tommy Quincy on his feelings for Jude Harrison. He had almost always loved her and had accepted that long ago. He had bought the infamous engagement ring with every intention of asking the woman he loved to marry him. He had even voiced his love for her countless times, and the words had not gotten any scarcer as time went on. It wasn't any of those things that had caused the breakdown of his life, and in the same vein it wasn't a single moment that had caused Jude to turn away from him. He saw it all now, a little too clearly, all the times he had kept silent when he had wanted to share his thoughts and feelings hopes and fears and she had sensed that slight distance. So had it really been so crazy for her to assume he didn't truly want her--for keeps?

He knew his inability to share his innermost thoughts and fears was linked directly to his childhood, but right now he finally knew he had to accept that he was still responsible for his decisions since he had reached adulthood, no matter how much he had been hurt as a kid. She deserved better than him, but she loved him and he had never doubted that for a second, only whether or not he was worthy of her affection.

The onslaught of guilt and pain was too much and his mind turned to his one true self protective mechanism. She had promised to love him forever. How could she have given them up? He let a more welcome emotion into his heart because anger did not hurt, it burned, it blamed others besides oneself and he luxuriated in it. Hating. Denying. Consuming. For now those useless emotions were enough to distract.

But of course the anger would fade, and her absence would once again be noticed and then he would have himself to face. Because who was there to blame for driving her away?

****

**　

She wandered the hallway, innocuous wallpaper decorating the walls and wondered at the sameness of it all. She could have been in any hotel in the world and wouldn't have been able to guess the difference. Jude frowned feeling…numb? She pondered herself for a while longer. Was the correct term disassociated? Maybe it was simply because she didn't sleep that her mind had decided to shut down. She told herself she was okay and wished for some fresh air, but Spied had made her promise that she wouldn't go out alone at night anymore and she wasn't in the mood for company, even that of her best friend. There was always the prerequisite after the show party going on somewhere in the hotel, but she rarely went to one of them.

A door swung silently open on the maroon carpet and a tousled head looked out catching her unawares. She stopped abruptly, her eyes wide and then recognition flooded through her.

"This is the third time you've been by my room. Are you trying to decide which line would work best to get me to invite you in? I'd go with casual, personally." His grin was contagious and so inoffensive that she couldn't be angry so she just gave him a small deprecating smile at being caught wandering the halls like some lovelorn ghost.

"Hey Jake." She shrugged at her drummer for this tour. Ever since SME had split Jude had not had a regular back up band, so G-Major usually just found one as needed. In fact she had met Jake only a couple of weeks before the tour had started, to practice the music. "I couldn't sleep."

"You want to come in." He nodded in the direction of his room.

"Um…" It was obvious she was uncomfortable at his question.

"Right."

"Do you want to go for a walk?" Jude had always hated to hurt other's feelings so she found herself offering, even though she had wanted to be alone just a moment ago. Maybe all this alone time wasn't good for her.

"Yeah just let me get a sweatshirt." She took in the t-shirt and pajama bottoms he wore and nodded. He had light brown hair, that appeared to be cut purposefully messy, gray eyes like she had never seen before and a swimmers trim athletic build which she had to admit looked fine from what she had seen when he took his sweat stained t-shirts off after their concerts. He was about Jamie's height, 6'1 or so, but muscular where her friend was merely lanky. She jumped a little when he let the door slam behind him.

"Ready?" She nodded as he handed her one of his hoodies. She simply stared at it for a minute. "Don't worry it's clean. The temp's dropped." She nodded and took the gray sweatshirt from him.

"Thanks."

**

"Jake…" It was half exasperation and half amusement in her voice. She was laughing and gasping for air at the impromptu sprint he had dragged her on, almost getting hit by at least three cars. They had been hanging out for the past week and although Jake still didn't think he knew that much more about her, he was intrigued by her beautiful mess of contradictions. She was not one of those people who would tell everyone her problems, although she obviously was holding things in, and yet sometimes he felt like she really needed someone to be there. He had not pushed about her insomnia after that first night and she had yet to volunteer the cause, but he was starting to suspect it wasn't that she couldn't sleep, but that she refused to.

"I like the way you say my name Harrison." She didn't flinch, having finally gotten used to his use of her last name, even though that had once been a right reserved only for Tommy. But the way he said those words in that rolling smooth way of his had her backing up mentally, if not physically.

"Don't Jake." She warned, a tiny spark flashing in those amazing sky blue eyes of hers. He raised his hands up in a surrendering gesture.

"What?" he asked innocently and she shook her head at his lame attempt at subterfuge. She had too much experience with worldly men to be taken in by his act. She did acknowledge the chemistry between them, but that didn't mean she would act on it. He knew she had just broken up with Tommy and yet he hadn't yet grasped that if anything happened between them, he would be no more than a rebound. And Jude would never do that again. "Come on. Let's get Underworld on Pay Per View and raid the mini-bar." She let him take her hand again and they rushed back into the hotel.

　**

Jude entered her hotel room, feeling sticky and still riding the adrenaline rush of performing. She flopped on top of the comforter not caring how many germs crawled on the surface. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, for once remembering it was probably time to recharge it when she saw that she had a message. The minute she heard the voice, she forgot everything around her, her ears strained to listen and her heart started to beat madly.

"Hey it's me. I have so much I want to say to you, but I promised to give you time. I don't know what's going through your head these days. Maybe you didn't even think I'd contact you." Jude frowned, he was wrong that he didn't know because that was exactly what she'd led herself to believe--to stay safe. He had given her a month without any communication and she had started to think it was really over, even if her heart could not agree. She heard a heavy sigh in the slight pause and could imagine him running his fingers through his hair, only done when he was in extreme agitation.

"The truth is after you left I was pissed. And yeah you're probably thinking that I have no right to be." His voice held a small thread of anger that had her wondering if she wanted to continue listening. "You never--told me you had doubts Jude. You just decided on your own how I felt about you, our relationship. I needed to get over my anger before I could talk to you again. Because I know you wouldn't listen if I yelled." She thought about that and decided he was probably right.

"I've had a lot of time to think over the things you said. I was a coward--but it never meant I didn't want you. You were right that I probably could find someone else I could learn to be happy with, eventually--we both could. But you were wrong too. Because nothing I have with anyone else could ever come close to what we are. I thought you knew that Jude." Another pause and then he continued. "What did you see when you looked into the future?"

"I don't know…" She said to herself; of course he had not idea she was listening to his message this second. And she really didn't know anymore, without him it was a gaping void.

"I'll tell you what I saw." She waited for him to continue. "You. That's all I ever needed to know, that _you _were there." Her palm covered her mouth to hide the sob that threatened to escape. But he knew he had made the mistake of assuming she had known too. Because once upon a time, no matter the rightness of his reasons, he had left her, abruptly.

"I need to know this much Jude--Do you still love me? Cuz if you don't I guess nothing I just said matters. But if you do…" She waited with bated breath to hear the rest of it, but he did not continue that thought. "Just call me back Girl." She slumped onto the bed, not knowing if it was already too late, not knowing if her heart could take anymore insecurity, not knowing if he had left the words too late.

She hit the speed-dial for his number and waited with tense frayed nerves and taut shoulders. She braced herself to hear his voice; the voice she would have known anywhere and even now found unbelievably sexy.

"Girl…" She closed her eyes and bit her lip. Why did he have to say it that way, soft and caressing as if only she mattered.

"Hey." There was an awkward pause that she couldn't bear anymore. "How could you believe…" she started to blurt out, but didn't finish.

"What?"

"That I could just stop loving you?!" She raged at him, unable to temper her words. But of course she knew the answer to that question and she cursed herself immediately for being so stupid, for getting into this argument again.

Tommy felt a sense of relief for the first time, not caring that she was practically yelling. He had never doubted her love, but he had still needed to hear it again.

"I didn't mean…" Jude felt like she was fifteen again, scared to lose her producer by showing him how much she really did care. She didn't know why she felt that way now, but it made her edgy like her own skin did not quite fit.

"So how's the tour going?" Somehow he had sensed that she wasn't ready to give him the right answers so he changed the subject instead. It would be better to keep her off balance at this point, otherwise her stubborn streak might make it impossible for her to listen.

"It's good. How have you been?"

"Been better." He didn't hide the tint of bitterness that colored his words.

"Tommy…" she sighed. They kept the rest of the conversation light, both of them simply happy to hear the other's voice.

"Can I call you tomorrow?" Jude's heart clenched a little at how unsure he sounded. Did he still not believe that she wasn't trying to push him out of her life?

"Yeah." She unconsciously nodded. Little did she know his intentions at the time, not knowing the Pandora's box she had opened.

**

The following night was a repeat of the first, in that there was a message waiting for her on her phone after the concert. She didn't want to admit she was disappointed she had missed his call, not knowing then that he had done it on purpose, until she listened to the voicemail. It started off without preamble, no greetings or explanations.

"Jude I realized there were so many opportunities that I missed. But you need to know--I remember every moment I've spent with you. I was going to start with the most important stuff first. But then I realized every second--It was all important to me, even the little things.

"Remember Paris when Sasha came up to us?" How could she forget the gorgeous blond in her designer dress and Dior sunglasses, greeting Tommy with the familiarity of a lover and the prerequisite kiss that was so common in France. It had been an intense moment of self-doubt for Jude. How could he have liked both of them when they were so dissimilar and she knew that most of his other girlfriends had a lot more in common with Sasha than herself. "See I knew you were uncomfortable and that you were probably comparing yourself to her. But when you never said anything about it, I let it go. But what I wanted to tell you was that women like her never made me think about them after they left. You were the one I never got out of my mind." Jude sensed that was not the last call he would be making to her and she started to worry whether or not she could survive this kind of attack.

　**

He watched her walk away, appreciation of her tight ass evident in his gray eyes. Spied had noticed the way the drummer's eyes had followed her for days now and a sense of déjà vu hit him. Hadn't he once been that guy, so into the coolest female he had ever met once they had spent time together? It was true when they had been in school together, before his band had won the chance to play with her, they had been more acquaintances than friends, but once he had spent time with her it had been easy to see how amazing she was. And it looked like Jake could see it as well. Spied shook his head. The poor bastard.

"Don't do it man." Jake glanced at Spied in puzzlement as the other man nodded his head at Jude. "Whatever you're planning for her. Don't make a play and don't fall for her."

"You told me there was nothing going on between you at the beginning of the tour." Jake, although an admirer of women, did not poach on another man's territory and had made sure to find out if she was single.

"There's not. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and all that BS--She is my best friend though."

"So what? You're her protector?" Spied snickered, imaging what Jude would do if he put himself in that role; probably kick his ass.

"Jude? Naw she's the last person that needs protection. I'm just saying as a friendly warning, she's not going to date you." Jake looked at Spied skeptically. He knew Jude could feel the same attraction he did and they had a lot of fun hanging out. And it wasn't like he was inexperienced with the opposite sex; he had had more than his fair share of women and did not believe for a second Jude was immune to him. "She likes you." Spied said it like that explained everything.

"And that's a problem?" he asked cockily, believing Spied was underestimating his abilities.

"It is if you think you have a chance. Since she likes you and you're not enough of an asshole, she's never gonna let you get close enough to get hurt. Why do you think she dated that jackass Blake Collins after me?" The confusion on his face was apparently evident because Spied continued. "She knew he would never fall for her and even if he did, he screwed over so many women she didn't care. She had fun and no one had a chance of getting hurt. Jude's my best friend and I've known her a hell of a lot longer than you have. She's an awesome chick and she doesn't play games like most girls do. And she's fiercely loyal." Jake nodded his agreement to all the things he listed. Jude was definitely intriguing, a mixture of strength and vulnerability that made any man who got close enough to see it want more. "That's the thing man. She's a one man kind of woman. She belongs to Quincy and she likes it that way."

"Why'd he break up with her then?" He still didn't understand how Tommy Quincy could let her go. She was--to put it lamely, exceptional.

"Did she say he did?"

"Well no, but…" Jude never out and out talked about her relationship, but the way she acted had made him assume. She was hurting and he had felt a very real need to make her smile again. He wanted that smile aimed at him, the real one where it shone out of those cerulean eyes. Jake shook himself; he really thought he could fall for her so easily, one gentle push or one true smile and he would be a goner.

"She broke up with him. She's all or nothing and she doesn't believe he wants that anymore so she cut him loose." He had known that, known that she loved Tommy still, but he hadn't known that she had been the one to end things. He hadn't understood how much she was still in love with the other man.

"Shit." The pain had to cut that much deeper when you inflict the wound on yourself didn't it?

"Yeah." Spied knew she didn't turn to him because she believed in some way that since it had been her decision she had no right to mourn the loss, at least not by crying on his shoulder. And yeah he could have said something, but that was not his way and he knew Jude appreciated that about him. She would come to him when she was ready. He just hoped it wouldn't take too long, because he remembered how bad it had gotten last year when Tommy had been on tour. She had moped for weeks even though she pretended to be okay. Spied, unlike Jude still had hope for her relationship. Love like theirs wasn't that easy to kill and he really didn't think Quincy would let her go that easily. And like he had said to Jake, she liked belonging to Quincy, even though she had broken things off she still willingly held onto him.

　**

Jude woke with the warm lovely feeling of her dream/memory filling her with the drowsy contentment of being in love and in being loved. She felt the strong arms around her, holding her to his chest and she smiled before consciousness gathered force.


	45. Chapter 39

_Well the ride's almost over. Here's the last chapter. Thanks to all my readers and special big thanks to everyone who took the time to review. The song in this is originally by Rascal Flatts, What Hurts the Most, but the version I use is by Danny Gokey._

_ENJOY!_

**Chapter 39**

"Tommy..." She murmured contentedly as she snuggled back, deeper into his embrace. "I love you." And then she jerked up out of his grasp suddenly, as reality hit. She scrambled to one side of the couch which she had apparently fallen asleep on and turned to see a somber eyed grey eyed Jake staring at her. He rubbed the sleep from his puzzled eyes. He sat up more fully and stretched, the bunched muscles visible under his tight t-shirt.

"What's wrong?" He rasped and then cleared his throat. She looked down at herself as panic set in for the briefest millisecond before she realized she was wearing the same thing she had on last night and that he was similarly dressed. Jude drew one hand through her tangled hair, trying to remember how this had happened. They had been watching a movie on cable and eating chocolate and drinking Perrier.

"Why'd you let me fall asleep?!" She accused with more force than she had actually meant.

"Jude you were dead on your feet. You needed to sleep," he said sensibly, still a little bewildered at her strong reaction: it wasn't like anything had happened between them. She bit her bottom lip as she forced the feelings her dreams had evoked, out of her heart. His eyes searched her still distraught face and although he hadn't registered her words the tone had been like a lover's. "That's it, isn't it?"

"What?"

"Your dreams. They're not nightmares." She shook her head hesitantly.

"Memories." she admitted softly as if the very word had the power to hurt her.

"Bad memories?" He cocked his head to one side and examined her pale face. She didn't strike him as the type to have had a troubled past.

"Good ones." She wasn't really sure why she admitted that to him, when she hadn't even been able to tell Spied.

"Then why don't you sleep?"

"Because--because that split second when I wake up…. it still feels real."

"What's wrong with that? If they're good memories…"

"Because then I know it's not and it's like--" She paused trying for once to remember exactly how it feels. "It's like I'm drowning--Like I can't breathe once my mind realizes…" She trailed off again. Not able to voice the last part. _That it's over._

Jake remembered what Spiederman had said to him before, what he had blown off as a jealous ex-boyfriend's rantings, but now he had to reconsider.

"You're not over him are you?" She did not even need the name of her ex to cause a flinch behind those haunted eyes.

"I've been in love with him for five years. What's the time limit on getting over someone?" Jude asked a little defensively forgetting for just a moment that in her heart she had always known Tommy was it for her. The last thing she wanted to be seen as was one of those pitiful, couldn't live without a man, kind of girls. Jake made a 'hmphing' noise that had Jude arching an eyebrow at him.

"Just something Spied said to me."

"What?" Jude asked in exasperation. She hated that little smirky smile thing he had on his lips.

"He told me you liked me,"

"What?!" She sat up straighter on the couch, her arms flailing in a typical ungainly manner. Ms. Graceful she was not.

"and that's why you would never date me," he finished smoothly.

"Huh?" Jude was simply dumbfounded at this point. It was too early for her to decipher his cryptic words or Spied's cryptic words or whoever the hell's words they were! She desperately prayed for Starbuck's to clear her groggy head, trying to recall where the closest one was from their walk the night before.

"He said something like how your heart was taken, and you knew it so you would never get involved with someone you actually liked." She just stared at him, not knowing if she should be angry at Spied for talking to Jake or at herself because he was right and somehow she felt immensely vulnerable. She stared down at her hands willing her eyes not to fill with liquid. "Hey," he said softly. She let him pull her into his arms and she prayed he now understood that she could never be with him. He smoothed her hair down and she couldn't help letting him, missing that human contact so much.

"Why did you stay with him so long?"

"I love him…"

"But he doesn't care about you." She sat bolt upright and stared at him in accusation her eyes once again sparking in that way that had started to fascinate him.

"He cares," she said softly before adding something she had not told anyone else. "He calls me every night you know? He leaves these messages on my voicemail…" She felt the movement of him shaking his head. "He tells me all this stuff…Like how he felt when we were together in Paris or when I was there for him when he came back from New Brunswick." He let her continue, hearing the struggle in her voice. "And you know if he had said any of it….one Goddamn thing when those things were actually happening…" her voice cracked then and she rested her chin on his shoulder, breathing deeply. She wasn't sure when it had started, but doubts had started to creep in and destroy her carefully constructed shields. Yet she was still not ready to examine her own culpability in the demise of their relationship. "I would have known I was important enough to him too." She was trying to strengthen her barriers by telling herself these things, but even to Jake who still did not know her all that well, her reasons had seemed to lack true conviction. However since Jake knew only her, he took her side. He had only met Tommy briefly in person before the tour when his band had auditioned for Jude, and he not struck him as an idiot. Now though he seriously had to reconsider his previous assessment. His girl had needed him to share himself with her and he had callously ignored that need.

"If he cares why isn't he here?" She turned her head away and stared unseeingly at the wall.

"It's complicated."

"Was there someone else?"

"No."

"Then maybe it's only as complicated as you make it." Jude wasn't ready to admit that fact, still needing to hold onto that buffer around her heart. The misgivings as to how she had handled things had grown stronger as more time separated them.

* * *

Jude had finally snapped and it was the smallest grain of sand in the desert that did it, no cataclysmic memory Tommy had dredged up. Tonight's voicemail had brought her back to New York and her visit there after Patsy's death. He said she had changed the way he viewed the city, simply by having shared it with him. The fact was, that had been the first time she had felt like she had almost all of him with her and now hearing that he had been withholding, even then, had broken something inside of her. He thought he was proving himself to her, instead she was feeling more lost and confused than ever. Jude did the only thing she thought she could, she picked up her cell and speed dialed his number. She was the first to speak when he picked up.

"Tommy…"

"Girl you need something?" It was late so the question was not as abrupt as it would have seemed at some other time. She closed her eyes, wishing he would stop calling her by that name.

"Tommy it's about all the voicemails…"

"Yeah I know. They're too cheesy." He said self-deprecatingly. "I just wanted you to know that…"

"No. They're sweet and I get you were thinking about me more than I thought you were…but…"

"What?" he asked in utter confusion. She racked her brain with the right way to say it, knowing how defensive he could get, even with her.

"Tommy all the those things you said--Everything…It's amazing, but--it's stuff that's over; it's all in the past." Although she thought it, she couldn't say it was too late for words and of course she wasn't a hundred percent sure it was. How could she be sure when she knew she still loved him deeply. She hesitated at the seemingly harsh silence broken only by his breathing. "You need to stop."

"Jude…"

"No! I need space! I know you're doing this because you think you can fix things, but the more you tell me--the more I know how much of yourself you held back." And it wasn't one instance he kept from her, but countless little and big moments when he could have shared. It was the stuff that they should have been able to build their life on.

"I'm trying to fix that Jude!" His frustration and growing anger was clear through the line. "I know you still care. I want you to know how much I did--I do think of you. Why won't you let me do that?!" Had she thought it was easy for him to bare his soul to her, to anyone? She of all people knew how hard this would be for him.

"Because it hurts!" Jude found herself staring down at her phone in stunned amazement, shocked that she had flipped the phone shut effectively hanging up on him. She quickly opened it again, with some half-baked notion to call him back, but hit the power button instead, turning it off.

Tommy fell back against his pillows in stunned shock and disbelief. Shock because he hadn't known he was hurting her with those calls and disbelief that she would have so callously hung up on him. His anger at her stubbornness had evaporated at her last words. He had felt it in his gut that he was getting through her wall of resolve, but now he wasn't sure if he had made things worse. A strange sense of urgency overcame him and a feeling that had not really been present in months, since she had left came flooding back. He stood up quickly and went into the spare room to get his guitar, grabbing a pad of paper on the way. He had no time to ponder if she really listened to the message he tried to send night after night, all he knew was he had to write.

* * *

Jude exited the elevator and her blue eyes immediately searched for the stranger she had come down from her room to meet. A call had come through to her room five minutes ago from a woman who wanted to speak to her. At first Jude had been afraid one of her fans had figured out the alias she used to check in, but had listened anyway to what the woman had to say. She had sounded legitimate and professional and older than a fan would probably be. There was a moment of relief as a dark haired woman in a stylish business suit walked across the lobby heading towards her.

"Hello Ms. Harrison. I'm Juliana Ward." The British accent was soft and her smile warm as she held her hand out for Jude to take. "I've been wanting to meet you for quite some time. Can I interest you in lunch or coffee?" Jude found herself agreeing, her interest piqued when she learned whom Juliana worked for. They walked towards the hotel restaurant as Juliana spoke lightly about how much she liked Jude's music.

* * *

"I still can't believe Jude broke up with Tommy. I really thought they were supposed to be together." It had taken her some time to see it, but the way Tommy looked at Jude told her that he would do anything for her little sister. Sadie looked down at her shrimp and avocado salad, spearing a bite onto her fork.

"Forget about them for a minute Harrison. Tonight's about us." She looked up from her plate and smiled at him distractedly. A waiter was soon by their side with a bottle of champagne and Sadie gave Kwest a questioning look. First Kwest had insisted on an expensive restaurant tonight and now champagne.

"Pink champagne?" she giggled as she saw the label. He took her free hand, causing her to glance at him.

"Remember you told me about that perfect wedding your family went to when you were a kid." Sadie sucked in a rapid breath as she realized what he was saying. The most amazing thing about Kwest was that he always remembered the things she said and the details of their life together.

"And my parents even let me have a sip of the pink champagne…" she added in a daze, not quite believing he remembered something so trivial, but then again that was Kwest. He was sweet and attentive and he listened. The waiter left them alone with the two flutes on the table. Kwest stood up from his chair and his hand went to his jacket pocket. He withdrew a black velvet ring box as he got down on one knee. He flipped the box open and let her gaze down at the shiny princess cut diamond.

"Sadie Eleanor Harrison, will you spend your life with me?" She nodded emphatically, wordlessly as he slid the ring onto her finger. He sat back on his chair and she moved onto his lap, showing him how much she wanted that future with him with a kiss that had the wait staff ready to interrupt.

Later she would worry how Jude would take the news, Kwest was right though that right then was about them and she gave him her brightest smile as he held her securely in his warm arms.

* * *

Spied was putting his key card into his hotel room when he heard his name being called by a male voice. They had just gotten in late tonight for the concert tomorrow and could barely remember what state they were in. Iowa, Ohio, one of those states with a short name anyway. Spied turned his head and raised an eyebrow in surprise at the man who walked up to him.

"Quincy?"

"Hey man." They did a guy handshake and Spied nodded into his room.

"So you finally showed up," Spied observed as he kicked back in one of the chairs, circling a small round table. Tommy was a little surprised at how nonchalant Spied was being, as if he had been expecting him.

"How is she?" Spied shrugged. He weighed the consequences of breaking Jude's trust and went with his gut anyway.

"She's okay, not great, but you probably knew that. She doesn't sleep."

"At all?" There was alarm in Tommy's voice now, confirming to Spied that his instinct to give the guy a chance was correct.

"Not really, except when Jake forces her to."

"Jake?" Tommy sat up straighter, obviously not liking to hear her linked with another man and Spied smirked at the usually cool façade of Tommy Q cracking.

"Yeah her drummer? Hey don't worry. She doesn't--She's told him she's not interested." Tommy fell back on the chair in relief. "So why now?" They were both a bit uncomfortable; guys did not talk about feelings easily especially to another man.

"You think she'll want to see me?" That was why Tommy had come to Spied first, to feel out the situation with Jude. He wasn't sure if he could show up and turn her world upside down if it was truly something she didn't want. Spied snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Yeah I think so," he said ironically. Slowly Tommy began to explain his plan and when he was done Spied volunteered to help.

"Why are you doing this Spied?" Although they had become friends in the last few years, it had always been clear Spied's loyalties lay with his best friend Jude.

"Because she's never as happy as she is when she's with you. You're 'it' for her even is she's too stubborn to admit it." Tommy frowned knowing Vin was wrong. She had admitted it, it was he whom she didn't believe wanted her back.

* * *

For the first time since he had met her, he was completely unsure of his reception when she finally saw him standing there. It was intermission of her performance and she still did not know he was here. He had just watched with pride and awe at how far she had come in five years. The confidence in her own abilities made her mesmerizing to watch as a live performer. Her voice was as strong as ever and if anything her songs even better, containing more depth and life experience than it had at fifteen.

They had not spoken since that last harsh phone call and she had not answered any of his subsequent ones until he had finally stopped calling, accepting she hadn't been ready to hear from him again. It was with a sense of utter relief when she made a beeline straight for him, once she sensed his presence backstage and searched him out with her eyes. She walked straight into his arms without missing a beat. He engulfed her in his embrace and she closed her eyes, pressing her cheek against his shoulder.

"I missed you," he said against her disheveled hair, her head fitted against the crook of his neck like she had done a thousand times before. She also was relieved to know he was holding her close without the censure she had been afraid she might face. She would never know what would happen if he had started to hate her.

"I missed you too." She finally pulled back enough to look into his face, studying the planes and now harsher angles. As cliché as it was, he looked like he had lost weight. "Tommy I'm sorry about the way I yelled--I…" She had been feeling so guilty once she had calmed down, not knowing how she could have lashed out at him like that. And she hadn't trusted herself to say the right things so had avoided his calls until he had finally stopped. It should have been a relief when he had stopped pressuring her, but she had only felt disappointment when there was no voicemail waiting for her after her concerts.

She was so messed up; he deserved someone better than she, someone who knew what she wanted and could accept him exactly as he was. She had finally acknowledged her share of the blame for the way their relationship had gone. She had not fought him for a place in his life, had not told him what she needed. But Jude honestly didn't know now if it was too late. There was so much hurt between them, it almost overshadowed all the good. She was afraid they would only do more damage to each other than was already there.

He saw the thoughts flickering through her big eyes and wondered if it was a good sign. She had gone all silent on him, but he saw when she refocused on him.

"I'm sorry." He shook his head and just gave her, her look; the one that said he found her fascinating and made her feel special to him. She would have kept going, starting to talk to over explain as she was wont to do when she was nervous. That shook her a little as she realized that she was actually uncomfortable in his company. This was Tommy, the one person who knew her inside and out and now…it wasn't quite the same, they weren't the same.

"Don't. I get it."

"But I…" she protested, her fingers holding onto his jacket more tightly than she realized. No matter what had happened between them she had never for a second wanted him out of her life for good, even if she had stopped believing it would be together as a couple. She wanted him to know that, to explain what he still meant to her, wanted to say how sorry she was for the way she had acted. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt him in any way.

"Me too." She finally nodded accepting that this at least, didn't need to be said.

"So what are you doing here?" Jude finally let her fingers slide away from him, but he took hold of her hand before she could retreat. She let him hold her hand, their fingers interlacing in a gesture both familiar and now strangely poignant.

"I was in the neighborhood," he said it wryly, both of them knowing he had come to see her.

"Funny I was just thinking I should come here to Cuyahoga Falls more often." He shrugged and smirked at her teasing.

"It's good to see you Quincy." She thanked the crew member who handed her a cold bottle of water and opened it immediately. She took a grateful swallow before turning back to him. She wasn't sure what else to say to him and he didn't seem overly eager to restart the conversation either, so they just stared at one another until the break was almost over.

"Are you going to be around afterwards?" Jude asked a little desperately when a crew member gave her the two minute warning. He nodded lightly.

"Yeah, I wouldn't want to leave without catching all the sights here at Cuyahoga Falls," he said ironically and she grinned at him.

* * *

Spied left the stage after performing an old duet with Jude, finishing the regular concert and spotted the man hiding in the shadows. They clasped hands as greeting and Tommy nodded solemnly at him. It had not escaped Spied's notice that the other man's hand had been clammy and he could understand it completely. Tommy was fighting for his life, fighting for the one woman who was worth it.

"You ready?" Tommy let out a deep breath and nodded.

"You think this is enough?"

"She loves you. She always has." And that damn song, that Spied even had to admit although a ballad, was powerful and would make half the audience cry. They saw Jude coming off the stage and making her way towards them.

"Hey…" She looked between them in puzzlement, both with mildly guilty expressions on their faces. "So-"

"I uh need to do something." Tommy interrupted and nodded at Spied. He headed away from them towards the stage and Spied gave her a sheepish smile before following with his guitar in his hand, leaving a puzzled Jude behind. She followed them slowly as she heard Tommy's voice at the mike. She watched him from the side of the stage, as a crew member brought two stools onto the stage, one for him and one for Spied who sat down immediately with his guitar in his lap while Tommy stayed standing, addressing the rapt audience.

"I know you guys are all waiting for Jude, but bear with me for a minute. There are just a couple of things I want to say. First, it's great to be here. I know you're Jude's fans…But hopefully a few of you can stand some Tom Quincy too." There were cheers in the audience and he knew he had them. They did have a lot of joint fans he knew, many had become fans of them as a couple even when speculation had come out as to when their relationship had started.

"People have asked me if I'm going to be releasing a second album soon. I'd love to say yes - But the truth is--somewhere along the way I took my inspiration for granted and I lost her." Jude tensed even more, knowing rumors would start now, that they had broken up. That really would be the end when the public found out about the demise of their relationship. "The good news is a do have one last song I recently wrote. Whether or not it will ever make it beyond this stage…Right now I don't know." He cued the lights and sat down holding the microphone in a white knuckled grip, which he forced himself to relax. Tommy glanced over at Spied who sat a little ways behind him and nodded at him. When the opening chords started there was no additional music to hide behind, just the sound of his unadulterated raw voice to fill the concert hall. Although his body faced the rapt audience, his eyes were only focused on one set of brilliant blue ones.

　_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house  
That don't bother me  
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out  
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while  
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me  
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok  
But that's not what gets me_

_  
What hurts the most  
Was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away_

She remembered with painful clarity walking away from him in the airport and once she had passed the doorway, when he could no longer see her, she had collapsed into Spied's arms. He had had to guide her to the terminal, her eyes had been so heavy with tears, her head buried against his shoulder. With their two guitar cases and carryon's she had not been sure how he had managed to get them where they needed to go.

.  
_And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was tryin' to do_

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go  
But I'm doin' It  
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone  
Still harder  
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret  
But I know if I could do it over  
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart  
That I'd left unspoken

Jude usually loved the way his eyes found hers, but right now at this moment it made her uneasy, made her heart ache. She felt undeserving of his still evident love, guilt eating away at her too at her own actions. She had not let herself think about how he had been affected by her desertion, had wanted to believe he would be fine without her. But now as he had intended, she really listened and finally heard…

.

_  
And what hurts the most  
Was being so close  
Having so much to say  
Watching you walk away  
And never knowing  
What could have been  
And not seeing that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do_

_Ohhh yeah…_

_And what hurts the most  
Is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
Never knowing  
What could have been  
Not seeing that lovin' you  
Is what I was trying to do_

Not seeing that loving you  
That's what I was trying to do

_Not seeing that loving you_

_Is what I was trying to do　_

The lights faded out to silence and then thunderous applause that he barely noticed. There was only one thing in his thoughts, her response to this song. He stopped in front of her as her serious eyes stared up at him.

"Why?" She said it so softly, she wasn't sure if the sound had escaped her lips.

"Because--I need to know…if this is how you really want it to be." His voice broke on the words and she had to close her eyes for a moment, unable to look into his for a second longer without breaking down. He had already told her what he wanted and now she could choose to believe him or not. "Do you still love me?" Instead of answering she told him the reason Juliana Ward had wanted to meet with her.

"Bermonzey Records heard my contract was up. They want me in London." He had been the first person she had wanted to tell the amazing news to and couldn't stop from doing so now. At his continued silence she felt the need to continue. "They heard the one with G-Major was up and they've had me on their radar for a while now."

"What about us?" She tore her eyes from his staring unseeing at the stage. "Are…" He heard his voice crack and coughed to clear it, his mouth felt like he had swallowed a handful of sand. "Are you going to take it?" One of the techies called to Jude that it was time for the encore and she nodded at him.

"I don't know…" She looked back at the stage again and then at Tommy, who stood there so stoically it broke her heart all over again. The fans were chanting for her, but she was confused, torn in two. She was reluctant to walk away, not wanting it to appear that she was dismissing him.

"Go." And she nodded her eyes begging him to understand, before grabbing her guitar from one of the crew then heading back under the heavy lights.

He watched her as she did what she had always been destined to. That was as true now as it had been when he had told her she was made for this. Their first encounter had been pure chance, but they would have met a few days later anyway at G-Major. That had been their beginning. He would not let himself believe this would be their ending_._


	46. Epilogue

_So this is it the epilgoue of the story. I miss it already. I hope you guys have loved it as much as I loved writing it. So ENJOY! and extra thanks for everyone who took the time to review. Oh and the music is Everything by Michael Buble_

**Epilogue**

She sat at the bar, sipping from a golden bubbly drink taking in the bar that had changed some in the six years since she had been here. She wondered idly if her sister had ever come here after high school, figuring the bartender, was it Ray?, was long gone. She glanced out the window for a second seeing the rain still coming down. It figured she had brought it back from London with her. A dark haired man appeared next to her, obviously trying to get her attention. He sat down and smiled putting his beer down on the counter.

"How long do I have to convince you to dump your boyfriend before he comes back?" She grinned, as opening lines that one wasn't too shabby.

"No boyfriend." She stated matter of factly as she took another sip of her drink. When her face met his fully, a flash of recognition ran through his eyes.

"Say aren't you…" She shook her head before he could finish the question, aware of other ears possibly listening in. Incognito was definitely her friend these days, although it was unlikely anyone expected her in town.

"I'm--Sarah," she said the first name that popped into her head and put her opposite hand out to shake. He took it reluctantly as he saw the prior claim on her slender fingers.

"Sam. Uh it was nice talking to you. I think I see my buddies." He said hastily as he took his drink and left. She rubbed her arms, bared in the simple little black dress she wore and then went back to observing those around her.

.

Moments later another dark haired man sat down next to her on the newly unoccupied bar stool and signaled the waiter for a microbrew draft beer. He was soon served his glass, foam only the slightest layer on the amber surface. He made a note to give this guy a big tip before he looked at her out of the corner of his eye..

"Was that guy bothering you?" He turned his devastating pale blue eyes on her and she stared back in fascination.

"Him? Nah…I handled it."

"So are you here alone?" He took a swig of beer casually before resting his hand near hers on the counter.

"That depends."

"On?"

"You." They shared a flirty smile and she turned back to her drink with her lips still curved up. His eyes wandered to her hands, that cupped her glass and he frowned.

"You're married." He stated with mock disappointment as he looked down at the obviously expensive diamond ring and matching wedding band.

"So are you." She said glancing at the platinum band encircling his ring finger. He shrugged slightly with a sheepish grin on his face, like he had been caught.

"I met my wife here six years ago."

"Me too…I mean I met my husband here."

"Small world."

"Yeah…" The bartender pretended not to listen, but he caught every word.

"I'm Tommy." He said, lifting her left hand to his lips and pressing them lightly onto her rings.

"Jude."

"Jude huh? It's nice to meet you."

"Same here Tommy."

"So wanna get out of here?"

"I don't know if my husband would like that," she teased with long familiarity.

"Maybe he shouldn't have left you alone then." Their eyes drifted to the screen when one of the two finalists started a lighthearted rendition of Michael Buble's Everything.

.

__

You're a falling star, you're the get away car.  
You're the line in the sand when I go too far.  
You're the swimming pool, on an August day.  
And you're the perfect thing to say.

.

"Oh I so totally would have voted for him." He grinned as he watched her profile, her attention rapt on the singer. The guy wasn't bad, but he knew it was the song choice that had gotten to her. She turned her gaze back to the gorgeous man beside her, glancing at him surreptitiously through her lashes.

.

__

And you play it coy, but it's kinda cute.  
Ah, When you smile at me you know exactly what you do.  
Baby don't pretend, that you don't know it's true.  
Cause you can see it when I look at you.

.

"So was it worth it to promise Darius your first born?" he asked as he took her hand. For once in all the years G-Major had run the contest and they had been in the country they were both watching it on T.V. instead of being there in person. They had even flown back here as a favor to Sadie and judged in the last finals. That night had been the highest ratings ever, with the elusive couple back in Canada and every fan wanting to catch a glimpse and see if they were still as happy as when they had left. They had not disappointed their fans, televising a kiss, that's image was still printed periodically.

"Well since that extends to babysitting duty yeah. Dad always reminds me what a screamer I was as a baby. And admit it, you told me you were a little brat. Oh and that's _our_ first born. With our genes our kid's going to be a wild child. " He stared into her eyes and fell even harder as his hand went out to touch the gentle swell of her belly. There was the reason they had come back from London. Once they had found out they were pregnant, it had seemed to important to both of them to put down roots. Jude had been ready to return home anyway, having experienced most of Europe, mostly with Tommy, but some with her friends from London. They had been crazily busy, with their two albums to put out and the wedding before they had really managed to begin. Then there had been the promised tours they had agreed to. Then when things had finally settled down and they had some down time to decide whether they had wanted to extend their contracts, they found out the unexpected news.

"Even though he insists on throwing you a birthday party?" Jude groaned, remembering that she had never had a low key normal one in recent history. Her 21st had been somewhat of a nightmare even if Tommy had been so sweet and meant well. Since she had opted not to go out so soon after their wedding he had had a local four star restaurant cater dinner on the rooftop of their apartment. Unfortunately, apparently one of the employees had let it slip to the media. Jude could only laugh as she remembered their little bistro table almost blowing away, when the helicopter had gotten too close to the building. Tommy had grabbed the bottle of expensive champagne from the bucket and they had made a run for it.

"It can't be that bad right?" she asked hopefully as he gave her a condescending grin. Darius wanted to announce that they were back in town and of course the party would be a gala event. Jude just prayed nothing too embarrassing would happen, remembering her 18th when she had been found in bed by her friends and sister.

Their attention was drawn back to the music coming from the television which the bartender had graciously turned up at Jude's smiling request, noting the performance almost automatically. The man on the screen did a few impressive dance moves before charming the audience with his boyish grin.

.

__

You're a carousel, you're a wishing well,  
And you light me up, when you ring my bell.  
You're a mystery, you're from outer space,

.

"I know what your wish is." Although she had been just an untried girl when they first met, now she knew exactly how to use her voice to get him to listen.

"Yeah?" he rasped at the promise in her tone.

"Do you want me to fuck your brains out?" Her hot breath tickled his earlobe as she leaned in to whisper. He gulped audibly. Even now she still had that effect on him. Tommy took a moment to get his wits together before he reached hastily for his wallet. He dropped a couple of the bills onto the counter before pulling her to her feet.

As she started through the door he held for her, he stopped her before she could get onto the sidewalk. She looked back at him in question, knowing they shared that need to touch intimately, to share themselves.

"I have one question before I take you home."

"Yeah?"

"You are legal right?" She smacked his arm and her laughter was music to his ears. She rolled her eyes at him and pulled him firmly onto the sidewalk. He spun her out and back into his arms, being careful to make sure she was securely on her feet, with the pavement slick beneath her heels. Jude laughed as she tilted her head up to his face. Who knew Tommy Quincy could be this cheesy and not care, and this happy without feeling guilty that he didn't deserve it? He took his jacket off and wrapped it around her slim shoulders before drawing her to his chest.

.

__

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.

.

With the rain that night, taxis weren't as abundant as usual, so they kissed and embraced until one finally pulled up in front of the bar. He was solicitous as he helped her in, no matter that she found his care amusing. She had told him more than once she was pregnant not sick, but secretly she loved his protective streak and knew he was just that kind of man. As they got settled and the taxi pulled away they turned to one another. Tommy pulled her face in and Jude closed her eyes, letting herself fall back into time, to a similar scene when he had been a stranger that she had been so attracted to; before she had even known how to define what she had been feeling. His tongue delved into her mouth and she met it just as insistently.

.

__

You're every minute of my everyday.

And I can't believe, uh that I'm your man,  
And I get to kiss you baby just because I can.  
Whatever comes our way, ah we'll see it through,  
And you know that's what our love can do.

.

They pulled apart from the heated kiss, his hands framed her glowing face as he smiled down at her. The one she returned was mischievous and shot a reaction straight to his lower region.

"Mmm that reminds me of my first kiss," she said wickedly, knowing that would get his attention.

"What?!" he spluttered. She had never told him that tidbit before, knowing he had still had occasional pangs of guilt at corrupting her, not that she had minded a minute of it.

"Didn't you know Tommy Q?" Her voice was low and smoky, never failing to make his body tighten in promise. "You were always my first." She whispered against his ear before her tongue snaked out to lick his salty neck.

.

_And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you, you make me sing  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything._

_._

Jude broke the heated kiss and smiled deeply at Tommy.

"I wonder who won the contest," she said idly as his fingers tickled her neck.

"Me." And she laughed again as he pulled her in for another kiss.

_._

_And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times  
It's you, it's you, you make me sing.  
You're every line, you're every word, you're everything.  
You're every song, and I sing along.  
Cause you're my everything.  
yeah, yeah  
_


End file.
